why do somalis look down in single moms?

[HalimaJ]

We don't attach stigma to divorce which is part of the reason why our divorce rates are so high and our entire community in total disarray, they regularly marry for the 3/4/5th time. which is part of the problem

We treat it as a complete utter joke and as a result our children and our community is paying heavy price for it.

The vast majority of our divorces are initiated by our female's, hence the majority of the the blame lies with them since no one forces them into an arranged marriage.

Unlike other cultures, they pick there own partners yet divorce them upon mass like no other Muslim community does.

The way you casually talk about divorce itself is disturbing and trying to use the companions to make your point is shamelessness to the nth degree.

You are so out of touch with the affairs of our community that your essentially advocating for divorce to become even more 'acceptable' and prevalent in our community then it already is.

This is complete utter lunacy and the type of speech that can only be attributed to a homewrecker or one in the making.

Divorce is disliked, but halaal. Yet here you are, advocating for things that are clearly against the quraan and Sunnah, such as violence and abuse, which are categorically haraam. So who is the shameless one?

Why do you talk of morals then, when you clearly have none? You are an incredibly shameless and hateful individual.

The point she was making is that, divorce existed during the days of the sahaba, but single motherhood was not common for the single fact that men would marry divorced and widowed women.

Also, some people are simply not compatible, hence why they divorce. There isn't always a guilty party such as the story of Zaid ibn Harith and Zainab.
They didn't get along, they divorces and both remarried. Khalaas. That is not the statement of a 'homwreaker or homemaker' or whatever dramatic stupidity you like to utter. It is simply a fact.

Also, how do you know all divorces are initiated by women? Do know the ins and outs of every Somali persons marriage? Such a strange statement. Are you the local gossip? But then again, you spend so much time talking about others marriage, instead of securing a spouse of your own.

You love to talk about marriage, women's weight ect. You are an older man in his 30s who is not married, yet yaps on about marriage. Talks about weight, when it is clear from your older posts that it is something you have issues with. All in all your a hypocrite who spends most of his life trying to micromanage the life of women instead of dealing with your own inadequacies.

Its actually laughable that a unmarried 30+ chubby man is shaming women about marriage. Do you lack self awareness?

 

[bluebird]

Divorce is disliked, but halaal. Yet here you are, advocating for things that are clearly against the quraan and Sunnah, such as violence and abuse, which are categorically haraam. So who is the shameless one?

Why do you talk of morals then, when you clearly have none? You are an incredibly shameless and hateful individual.

The point she was making is that, divorce existed during the days of the sahaba, but single motherhood was not common for the single fact that men would marry divorced and widowed women.

Also, some people are simply not compatible, hence why they divorce. There isn't always a guilty party such as the story of Zaid ibn Harith and Zainab.
They didn't get along, they divorces and both remarried. Khalaas. That is not the statement of a 'homwreaker or homemaker' or whatever dramatic stupidity you like to utter. It is simply a fact.

Also, how do you know all divorces are initiated by women? Do know the ins and outs of every Somali persons marriage? Such a strange statement. Are you the local gossip? But then again, you spend so much time talking about others marriage, instead of securing a spouse of your own.

You love to talk about marriage, women's weight ect. You are an older man in his 30s who is not married, yet yaps on about marriage. Talks about weight, when it is clear from your older posts that it is something you have issues with. All in all your a hypocrite who spends most of his life trying to micromanage the life of women instead of dealing with your own inadequacies.

Its actually laughable that a unmarried 30+ chubby man is shaming women about marriage. Do you lack self awareness?

Your level of patience to go back and forth with the opposition and type out long paragraphs at it is admirable lol.

 

[HalimaJ]

Your level of patience to go back and forth with the opposition and type out long paragraphs at it is admirable lol.

Its the reason why i disappear weeks/ months at a time. Sometimes I need a long break.

I don't have the patience to be consistantant on here.

 

[bluebird]

Its the reason why i disappear weeks/ months at a time. Sometimes I need a long break.

I don't have the patience to be consistantant on here.

yeah when I used to try to “refute” stupidity on here I realized it was really draining lol. And I notice that you can find yourself being genuinely bothered by some idiot on the internets irrelevant opinion so I just stoppped

 

[HalimaJ]

yeah when I used to try to “refute” stupidity on here I realized it was really draining lol. And I notice that you can find yourself being genuinely bothered by some idiot on the internets irrelevant opinion so I just stoppped

I haven't got to that point yet. As soon as I log out, i completely forget about them and their views. I just need a break because going back and forth can be a bit long.

Sspot isn't 'real' to me and I know many on here with the most disgusting views about women tend to be the ones that struggle with self esteem and female attention. For all we know, sspot could be their only means of feeling superior. Maybe I should just let them rant and rave.

Once I get to the point in which i'm dwelling about their idiotic views is the day I have to delete my sspot account.

 

[bluebird]

I haven't got to that point yet. As soon as I log out, i completely forget about them and their views. Sspot isn't 'real' to me and I know many on here with the most disgusting views about women tend to be the ones that struggle with self esteem and female attention. For all we know, sspot could be their only means of feeling superior. Maybe I should just let them rant and rave.

Once I get to the point in which i'm dwelling about their idiotic views is the day I have to delete my sspot account.

lol well I was an Internet forum virgin so when I first saw all the retarded views coming from Somali people that sounded like either white nationalist, incels, or low class talk I was shocked really bothered by it all and then all the gaalo it still annoys me but I just zone it out now lol

 

[TekNiKo]

Xalimos twisting Islam again, divorce is not a good thing in Islam

It is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce.”

Satan meanwhile loves divorce! I wonder why? @Inquisitive_

Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”

 

[HalimaJ]

Xalimos twisting Islam again, divorce is not a good thing in Islam



Satan meanwhile loves divorce! I wonder why? @Inquisitive_

Nobody twisted it. Everybody made it clear that divorce is disliked in Islam, but it is not haraam. It is permissible as a last resort because sometimes it is needed. Still it is very sad when a couple breakup and it should be avoided as much as possible.

The fact that you have to lie in order to try and validate your point shows you have nothing worthwhile to say.

But of course, you think tormenting, abusing and honor killing women is halaal though.

You're actually finished. All you have done is proved that

A: You're stupid

Or
B: You're vile and dishonest.

No one here is even debating about whether divorce is a good thing or bad thing. We all know it is bad. That does not mean that women who are divorced should be looked down upon. That is contrary to the Sunnah.

 

[Hardwork2019]

cuz single moms breed zina and degenerancy
Girls raised by single parent end up being s while the boys turn to effiminated fags or drug dealer.

 

[HalimaJ]

@TekNiKo

I've observed you, the only time you care about religion and shamelessness is when it comes to women. Other times you are quick to lust after women and laugh about men commiting zina, engage in racism, talk degradingly about women ect and the list goes on. Where is your concern for what is haraam and what is halaal then?

Many of you here are not really conservative. You will just use anything in your arsenal to put women down. Religion seems to be the most convenient for you at this moment, despite contradicting yourself.

You need urgent help and Quraan saar. I'm also sorry that the women you have encountered in real life have made you feel like such a loser that you feel the need to be vile online.

 

[GoldmanSachs]

I don't get why this is even a controversy. Single mothers are better off going after single fathers. More compatible than with a childless guy.

 

[TekNiKo]

@TekNiKo

I've observed you, the only time you care about religion and shamelessness is when it comes to women. Other times you are quick to lust after women and laugh about men commiting zina, engage in racism, talk degradingly about women ect and the list goes on. Where is your concern for what is haraam and what is halaal then?

Many of you here are not really conservative. You will just use anything in your arsenal to put women down. Religion seems to be the most convenient for you at this moment, despite contradicting yourself.

You need urgent help and Quraan saar. I'm also sorry that the women you have encountered in real life have made you feel like such a loser that you feel the need to be vile online.

More personal attacks, you have nothing left in your arsenal. Tekniko this Tekniko that. Women in your life this hahha cry more

 

[Halimo-2018]

We don't attach stigma to divorce which is part of the reason why our divorce rates are so high and our entire community in total disarray, they regularly marry for the 3/4/5th time. which is part of the problem

We treat it as a complete utter joke and as a result our children and our community is paying heavy price for it.

The vast majority of our divorces are initiated by our female's, hence the majority of the the blame lies with them since no one forces them into an arranged marriage.

Unlike other cultures, they pick there own partners yet divorce them upon mass like no other Muslim community does.

The way you casually talk about divorce itself is disturbing and trying to use the companions to make your point is shamelessness to the nth degree.

You are so out of touch with the affairs of our community that your essentially advocating for divorce to become even more 'acceptable' and prevalent in our community then it already is.

This is complete utter lunacy and the type of speech that can only be attributed to a homewrecker or one in the making.

High divorce rate in the west only exposed the failure of our men. The women back home put up with everything because the guy is their only source of income. Please don't blame our women. No one would choose to raise kids alone in the west unless the men aren't acting right.

 

[IstarZ]

We don't attach stigma to divorce which is part of the reason why our divorce rates are so high and our entire community in total disarray, they regularly marry for the 3/4/5th time. which is part of the problem

We treat it as a complete utter joke and as a result our children and our community is paying heavy price for it.

The vast majority of our divorces are initiated by our female's, hence the majority of the the blame lies with them since no one forces them into an arranged marriage.

Unlike other cultures, they pick there own partners yet divorce them upon mass like no other Muslim community does.

The way you casually talk about divorce itself is disturbing and trying to use the companions to make your point is shamelessness to the nth degree.

You are so out of touch with the affairs of our community that your essentially advocating for divorce to become even more 'acceptable' and prevalent in our community then it already is.

This is complete utter lunacy and the type of speech that can only be attributed to a homewrecker or one in the making.

Divorce isn’t a phenomenon unique to Somalis, it’s widespread. The factors leading to divorce are varied. It is an acceptable method of parting ways that Allah has made available to us. I don’t think it is fair to put the blame squarely on the womenfolk but you turn a blind eye to this fact as it doesn’t fit your narrative.

Nothing I said was absurd. You’re the one out of touch with reality - do you think decent men are lining up to marry these single mothers with the intention of providing a good home and to be a role model for their children? It’s usually the bottom of the barrel who marry them and take advantage of their vulnerable position. Free housing and food. There are married women who are practically single because their husbands are not pulling their weight.

Older Somali men became disillusioned because they were unable to adapt to the modern stressors of life and young Somali men lack ambition and drive. They are filling prisons instead of educational institutions or the workforce. Nobody talks about that or even attempts to find the root cause and solutions because it’s easier to blame women. Where are their fathers? There are hardly any custody battles in our community. So why do they abandon their kids?

Most Non-Muslims stay amicable for the sake of their children and co-parent successfully. Why can’t they do that? It seems like they had no interest in those children in the first place. They take no responsibility.

You constantly advise men to marry from back home because its easier to subjugate and control someone who’s beholden to you. Marriage is not a power-play. You’re partners working together to create a harmonious, safe and loving place to raise a family. You have a twisted view of marriage and women.

Divorce was the norm at the time of sahaba because they didn’t view it as a major sin. Women asked for divorce if they felt dissatisfied with their husband or weren’t attracted to them. This was accepted and she wasn’t judged or humiliated for being a divorcee. She’d receive proposals from the most noble of men and he would take care of her and her children. That’s the type of society they lived in. Men didn’t care about her age, or if she was garoob.

You are advocating for oppression against women and blaming the disarray of a whole community on one gender. You’ve got deep-seated issues with women and it will only lead you down a dark path.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Divorce is disliked, but halaal. Yet here you are, advocating for things that are clearly against the quraan and Sunnah, such as violence and abuse, which are categorically haraam. So who is the shameless one?

Where did I advocate for this? it was simply a case study of why the other communities don't have the problems we have in the diaspora, yet they surpass us in every conceivable metric you can come up with.

Why? because they found away to keep the bulk of their family units together through robust community cohesion and kaladanbeeyn which is none existent for us, violence is only a last resort for them.

I do not condone violence, it's something alien to our male's, so alien it has made our female's more daring, combative and imprudent in there shamelessness with absolutely ZERO fear of retaliation or reprisals.

No fear of her Father, Brother, Mother, Husband or the wider Community, and absolute zero fear of physical reprisals for her shameless actions.

You have to understand that the fast majority of humanity is kept in check because of laws and the immediate consequences of their actions (punishment), not the fear of Allah and his Judgement or out of altruism since the majority are selfish by nature.

The bulk of the people are just animals that are only kept in check with laws and punishments, which I argue is absent with us, hence the craziness that goes on.

The point she was making is that, divorce existed during the days of the sahaba, but single motherhood was not common for the single fact that men would marry divorced and widowed women.
fact

Classic shameless tactic of trying to use the religion where it suits you.

First and foremost the children go to the Father if the divorcee remarries, which is part of the sharia that most of you reject or fail to adhere by.

Second nearly all of these sahabiyat married young as per sunnah, which the vast majority of Xaalimo's shun and look down.

Third the nikah was easy, simple and cheap which maximises barakah as per hadith, something that is again completely alien to the female's of today, you guys have made the process very difficult and expensive out of reach of most, no decent god fearing male would ever sign up to this.

Fourth the example of Zayd and Zaynab you used is an arranged marriage by the Prophet and we understand the wisdom behind this today in order to break a common taboo the Arab's had.

The Xaalimo's in the diaspora are against arranged marriages, you fend for yourself off the streets for a husband, you cannot even discern the blatant hypocrisy and false equivalence in your argument.

Yet you have the nerve to complain and use the sahabas in your argumentation, don't you have any shame?

Also, how do you know all divorces are initiated by women? Do know the ins and outs of every Somali persons marriage? Such a strange statement.

This statement alone shows how out of touch you are with our community, and the fact that you are a female makes it even worse.

I know my words pierce you and you can't help yourself, but little do you know my intention is to only help you as a newly wed because I know the diaspora Xaalimo tendencies and her propensity for homewrecking.

You will remember the weight of my words when that faithful day comes but you decide against it and be patient instead

it's literally the only reason why I keep responding to you, because I can sense a strong premonition of disaster in the near future for you based on your attitude.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Nothing I said was absurd. You’re the one out of touch with reality - do you think decent men are lining up to marry these single mothers with the intention of providing a good home and to be a role model for their children? It’s usually the bottom of the barrel who marry them and take advantage of their vulnerable position. Free housing and food. There are married women who are practically single because their husbands are not pulling their weight.

In our religion if the divorcee remarries the Father gets custody of his children, she only has custody for as long as she is single and the kids haven't reached the age of puberty in which case the decision is theirs.

No Xaalimo in the diaspora abides by this Islamic law which is instituted for a good reason, hence a decent male who of course is one who fears his Lord would never sign up to marry such a female.

They are filling prisons instead of educational institutions or the workforce. Nobody talks about that or even attempts to find the root cause and solutions because it’s easier to blame women. Where are their fathers? There are hardly any custody battles in our community. So why do they abandon their kids?

Your putting the cart before the horse, what causes these young males to fill the prisons and the young girls to become s?

Look no further then the broken household they grew up in!

Ask yourself who is initiated the vast majority of these divorces and as a result proliferating broken homes in huge numbers?

The national figure for all races is already 70% of all divorces being initiated by female's, but in our community that figure is closer to 90%

It's incredibly rare to hear a husband wanting to divorce his wife while she is trying to safe the marriage and you know this very well! but rather it's always the opposite.

We know from the hadith that female's will make up the majority of the inhabitants of hell because of there ungratefulness to their husbands.

Now keep in mind this is 7th century Arabia, an era were the wife's were totally dependent on their husbands for everything that was being warned!

You constantly advise men to marry from back home because its easier to subjugate and control someone who’s beholden to you. Marriage is not a power-play. You’re partners working together to create a harmonious, safe and loving place to raise a family. You have a twisted view of marriage and women.

I advocate for this because the female's are of a much higher quality there in every conceivable metric and it's not by accident either (hint hint stable households with the Father at the helm)

I do not want these male's to contribute to this dysfunction and inadvertently place themselves in a position were they are at the mercy of our crazed homewrecking Xaalimo's, reduced to either being toothless ceremonial figures or being thrown out.

 

[Samaalic Era]

In our religion if the divorcee remarries the Father gets custody of his children, she only has custody for as long as she is single and the kids haven't reached the age of puberty in which case the decision is theirs.

No Xaalimo in the diaspora abides by this Islamic law which is instituted for a good reason, hence a decent male who of course is one who fears his Lord would never sign up to marry such a female.

Your putting the cart before the horse, what causes these young males to fill the prisons and the young girls to become s?

Look no further then the broken household they grew up in!

Ask yourself who is initiated the vast majority of these divorces and as a result proliferating broken homes in huge numbers?

The national figure for all races is already 70% of all divorces being initiated by female's, but in our community that figure is closer to 90%

It's incredibly rare to hear a husband wanting to divorce his wife while she is trying to safe the marriage and you know this very well! but rather it's always the opposite.

We know from the hadith that female's will make up the majority of the inhabitants of hell because of there ungratefulness to their husbands.

Now keep in mind this is 7th century Arabia, an era were the wife's were totally dependent on their husbands for everything that was being warned!

I advocate for this because the female's are of a much higher quality there in every conceivable metric and it's not by accident either (hint hint stable households with the Father at the helm)

I do not want these male's to contribute to this dysfunction and inadvertently place themselves in a position were they are at the mercy of our crazed homewrecking Xaalimo's, reduced to either being toothless ceremonial figures or being thrown out.

You need to write a book in Af Somali sxb. Raise awareness of this in our community home and abroad

 

[Mimir]

You need to write a book in Af Somali sxb. Raise awareness of this in our community home and abroad

He shouldn't because he encourages honour killings and acid attacks.Although I agree with some of his views,that is a big fat no.I don't want Somalis being put into the same category as timojilec.

Plus its that individual nature that both genders in the Somali community have that make us unique and closest to how the women were treated during prophet's time.

 

[IstarZ]

In our religion if the divorcee remarries the Father gets custody of his children, she only has custody for as long as she is single and the kids haven't reached the age of puberty in which case the decision is theirs.

No Xaalimo in the diaspora abides by this Islamic law which is instituted for a good reason, hence a decent male who of course is one who fears his Lord would never sign up to marry such a female.

Your putting the cart before the horse, what causes these young males to fill the prisons and the young girls to become s?

Look no further then the broken household they grew up in!

Ask yourself who is initiated the vast majority of these divorces and as a result proliferating broken homes in huge numbers?

The national figure for all races is already 70% of all divorces being initiated by female's, but in our community that figure is closer to 90%

It's incredibly rare to hear a husband wanting to divorce his wife while she is trying to safe the marriage and you know this very well! but rather it's always the opposite.

We know from the hadith that female's will make up the majority of the inhabitants of hell because of there ungratefulness to their husbands.

Now keep in mind this is 7th century Arabia, an era were the wife's were totally dependent on their husbands for everything that was being warned!

I advocate for this because the female's are of a much higher quality there in every conceivable metric and it's not by accident either (hint hint stable households with the Father at the helm)

I do not want these male's to contribute to this dysfunction and inadvertently place themselves in a position were they are at the mercy of our crazed homewrecking Xaalimo's, reduced to either being toothless ceremonial figures or being thrown out.

Somali men are not interested in their kids even when they are married - which is why it’s easy to abandon them once they divorce. Do you understand that? They take no emotional interest in their kids. I remember when I was in school I used to do different activities with my dad on weekends and my Somali friend found it so strange because she never had quality time with her dad. I thought that was strange but later found out this is pretty much the norm in Somali households. It’s the mothers who do everything and are pretty much over-worked and pushed beyond their limits. It explains why they look so exhausted ALL the damn time.

We have a problem with emotionally unavailable fathers even among married couples. They do not fulfil their obligations as a father. They are piss poor fathers as they are husbands. Please let that get through your thick head.

I do blame the women for thinking their superwomen and allowing their husbands to be complacent. Somali men are lazy and blame everything on foreign interference or Somali women. It explains why our country continues to be a sh!thole for 30yrs.

Perhaps Somali women should dump the kids on them after divorce but we both know they will just marry another woman to raise their kids and produce more kids that they don’t give a sh!t about.

I’ve been back home and there are 19-23 yr old divorcees with 3+ kids from different men. How do you explain that? This is starting to become common even in rural villages. Somali men lack accountability and they leave a trail of destruction in their wake. It’s Somali men that are dysfunctional whether in the West or back home but you fail to address that because it doesn’t fit your narrative of women being the evil creatures.

Arab men take the kids to spite the woman. Men are selfish creatures regardless of their ethnic background. Especially Muslim men. There are different opinions on custody in Islam. Usually the children are better off with their mother than an evil stepmother and a lacklustre father especially in our community.

 

[Samaalic Era]

Somali men are not interested in their kids even when they are married - which is why it’s easy to abandon them once they divorce. Do you understand that? They take no emotional interest in their kids. I remember when I was in school I used to do different activities with my dad on weekends and my Somali friend found it so strange because she never had quality time with her dad. I thought that was strange but later found out this is pretty much the norm in Somali households. It’s the mothers who do everything and are pretty much over-worked and pushed beyond their limits. It explains why they look so exhausted ALL the damn time.

We have a problem with emotionally unavailable fathers even among married couples. They do not fulfil their obligations as a father. They are piss poor fathers as they are husbands. Please let that get through your thick head.

I do blame the women for thinking their superwomen and allowing their husbands to be complacent. Somali men are lazy and blame everything on foreign interference or Somali women. It explains why our country continues to be a sh!thole for 30yrs.

Perhaps Somali women should dump the kids on them after divorce but we both know they will just marry another woman to raise their kids and produce more kids that they don’t give a sh!t about.

I’ve been back home and there are 19-23 yr old divorcees with 3+ kids from different men. How do you explain that? This is starting to become common even in rural villages. Somali men lack accountability and they leave a trail of destruction in their wake. It’s Somali men that are dysfunctional whether in the West or back home but you fail to address that because it doesn’t fit your narrative of women being the evil creatures.

Arab men take the kids to spite the woman. Men are selfish creatures regardless of their ethnic background. Especially Muslim men. There are different opinions on custody in Islam. Usually the children are better off with their mother than an evil stepmother and a lacklustre father especially in our community.

It's why Islam is there to prevent men from abandoning their children.

There is no accountability on both sides. This is a bigger problem but is a communal problem. Those who abandon their children are the same as the western xalimo who are the leading cause of dysfunction in the west