Woman who likes me so much makes me afraid of commitment

[Sophisticate]

I far off from family so I can be a bit lost. This place has reminded me of what is important. To share to anyone who might find themselves in this sort of dynamic (and I did wanted to experience a bit since working and studying while doing it all alone got to me) yes I strayed away from being disciplined, praying and this, curiosity. Bit me. When I was with her the dynamic was interesting. It's not that she bossed me around (yet?) I felt a bit comforted or even to an extent of pampered. I had a place far away from the city where I could study. Silence while she was at work. I'd say you are correct in the 1, and she was a bit of a number 2. I have told her she can just make it easy for us and go and date and she has tried. I'm not one to monkey branch but I've mentioned to her many times what this dynamic was. I think later on we started to know. The question for me is how long is this transitory period? It will take a long time. Especially if I'm doing it all alone. I have had friends who were in this dynamic, but the men/friends seemed like they were fine settling down early. For me, it feels like I have to fight and it is what is keeping me. She's better than she was when I have met her. But I have to say, ask anyone about their past ex, she had a complete absolute manchild who didn't do nothing. She was used to the fact, she liked me assertiveness.

Let us call a spade, a spade. It doesn't seem like a legitimate relationship among equals. If I'm being nice this was a situationship. And you had more to gain than she did. If I'm being ruthless you were the comfort boy and she was your long-time customer until you terminated the agreement.

 

[sagegreen]

Basically I'm wondering if passing up to be a potential, for the lack of words, househusband lifestyle is a good decision

My story: She in her forties. Am in my 20s, she's got a home, a stable career, most of her fam's gone (old age) so she's the only one. She's divorced, has a teenage daughter. Issue here's that I can't imagine myself raising someone else's child. And I feel like I still have a lot of time before settling down. I live in the city (SD) she live in a little town, two hours away rural.

Loved the small town vibes man. Father used to tell me how his place wasn't so developed yet everything felt easy and connected. Her town felt like that. Less expensive, fewer traffic even. We do get some strange stares now and then, but that's expected..

Feel like I lost something I'll never get close to again. Yea. She act like a sugar m & is super interested in me, almost actually, obsessed that it's clingy and a little scary. Feels a little draining, and overwhelming, would invite me to random trips when I clearly trying to get a groove on. But like last year, she came through for me in several difficult situations. More or less, love bombs me. It's a stark contrast. It's good to get help... As I'm trying to save up, get a good degree..

We both have our flaws. I get the impression that she'd want me to settle soon. I feel confused. I'm mostly alone, most family and father moved out of state (out the country actually) and I'm the only 1 in my fam who lives in the city. So apologies for posting it here. I'm trying to work harder everyday so that I don't end up relying on someone.

Back to her. She's attractive to the typical eyes, not fat, make up and all that. The sex is just decent.. Can tell she was single for a time. And I start to see, she not quite my type.. Or yet? (I guess when I get older?) plus, her daughter has a whole decade before even having a chance to move out. And one dude here got it right, I'd expect her to be just like a general angsty tiktok teens lol, & she obviously a bit spoiled. I stay away from her as much I can but I know I can be a good mentor if I'm asked to be, used to tutor alot

But I ain't gonna waste her time. Just not like me to use her. Yea, there's food and a roof. I heard stories where immigrants marry-in, and once they get some papers, they just divorce (good thing my status is already settled). There was even an MTV segment of a dude my age (Jamaican) but brought back to the states by an older female... And we try to redefine what this is, even if she just exchange for sex, she comes and visit for a moment, she still ends up being too attached. She's definitely just traditional & I respect that.

I'm grateful for this experience, but I have yet to have any genuine long-term partnerships so I have no idea if I'm mistaken or just strung-in, and I been reading a lot of topics here regarding women.

So I thought I can ask for some advice here, all the city and price hikes giving me anxiety. What would you do in this situation?

This doesn't sound healthy. You are looking for a mother figure. You might have mommy issues. Or an unhealthy attachment to getting taken care of.

Do you like it? Then stay I would say. But that isn't the best solution for you.

 

[mr.overeasy]

From the men I've seen this happened to, they seemed to just want to settle for less or are content with whatever they have found. That seemed to be the case.

But to experience this dynamic was interesting. I like me a assertive woman, I believe the media just brainwashed me. It was an interesting perspective as the previous women I've met were not initiators, not that it's bad but a balance is healthy.

its a kink bro, the media implants these things.

Trust me as hot as the things they tell you sounds its never that good.

You like assertive until you realize she wants to argue rather than listen to you, and will nag you all the time.

Some guys like a woman to be an earner, until she is never home and she almost inevitably cheats on you with another man at her work.

Many guys like "wild" women until they disappear at the bar and reconnect with one of the many men she slept with.

these things are lies.

If you want to have your cake and eat it too get a submissive girl and teach her how to be more "bossy" as roleplay for the s*x.

You have a submissive girl who does the stuff you like in bed, win win.

 

[emonrah]

its a kink bro, the media implants these things.

Trust me as hot as the things they tell you sounds its never that good.

You like assertive until you realize she wants to argue rather than listen to you, and will nag you all the time.

Some guys like a woman to be an earner, until she is never home and she almost inevitably cheats on you with another man at her work.

Many guys like "wild" women until they disappear at the bar and reconnect with one of the many men she slept with.

these things are lies.

If you want to have your cake and eat it too get a submissive girl and teach her how to be more "bossy" as roleplay for the s*x.

You have a submissive girl who does the stuff you like in bed, win win.

Well put, I think the media brainwashed me a bit. There are only ever truly submissive women. Maybe I was just an aficionado for out of the ordinary circumstances but I also thought it was a good thing that women want their own thing or want to be independent, lead etc. makes the world here more cut throat. Then the ones on top are ones who really always have an advantage male or female