Your homies sisters are off limit true or false ?

[_Yusuf_]

Tony warned him manolo had it coming pulling a snake move like that

Manolo was not a legitimate men. He was a gangster like Tony. No criminal will allow a fellow crook to touch his sister. They would want a legitimate guy to marry her.

 

[Abu Hesi]

I have couple of good friends, if they wanted to marry my sisters, I would welcome them. Our bond would be even stronger.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

If my friend is a up right, righteous good man who wants to marry my sister and be a good husband and i’ve known him for a long time, i’d be much more comfortable for him and my sister seeing if their compatible but he would have to let me know first

 

[The Oponian Guild]

Unless I introduce him to her and deem him to be a person of good character and akhlaq who’s ready to be married, then no. I wouldn’t accept it if it was an cajnabi, I’d be tempted to do the proverbial “crash out”

 

[Journey.]

This sums it up:

View attachment 341970


Older Gen never had that issue. Most of my aunts and family friends are married to men who were friends or knew their brothers. My aunts husband grew up with my dad in the same area. Another aunts of mine married her second cousin who was close to my dad’s older brother. My dad’s best friends one married the sister of the other. Till this day and the men are all in their 60s, they’re all good friends

Fobs and older Gen don’t have that issue since they’re open with their Shukansi and I think the only time they get mad is if that man has a rep and isn’t good. Usually the friend will be open about it and ask permission of the brother and even friends father from the get go. Example, a family friend of mine married her brother’s and my dad’s best friend. They were a trio. He asked my dad’s friend if he could speak to this sister. My dad’s friend said yes because he knew his friend was miskeen and even my dad’s friends dad was happy about it. They’ve been married for 35 yrs now.

This whole you can’t marry my sister is very much a Western one and I think it’s more to do with that fact that Western raised guys will happily befriend dogs and men who talk to women to screw them over. If you know your friend behaves like a Muslim is intensional with talking to women and only wants marriage and is upfront with you from the get go which is how it should be, why have an issue? Even the same guy who tweeted this acknowledged this.

Yeah, I think it's more of a reflection of the type of company you keep. If you had good, upright friends who were trustworthy and on their deen you likely wouldn't have much of an issue with them respectfully getting to know your sister for marriage. If you know they're of questionable character, especially where women are concerned, you'd obviously have a problem with it and for good reason.

This whole staying away from each other's sisters (everyone else's is fair game it seems) reminds me of the saying, "honour among thieves".

 

[The alchemist]

I know of brothers introducing their good smart and trustworthy friends to their sisters. Not everything is behind their back.

Haha, ok.

 

[abdi_]

If the brother did it right by initiating everything up front and only moving forward if he got my (and families) blessings, then that would be fine to me. The benifit would be that I could vouch for my friends character, family, social circle, career projection and so on.

But this entirely depends on what kind of a person I am and what friends I keep. If I am not a not a serious person, or keep ciyal suuqs as friends, then this would never work.

 

[El Nino]

Shit is just awkward. I got solid brothers so wouldn’t mind it ultimately but its just a hassle all around. Thats why guys don’t do it. The risk to reward ratio is not good.

 

[queasyian]

You women don’t get it. You’re making bad counter points. Let’s say my friend and sister get married, and it ends up in a divorce and it wasn’t amicable, it will also most likely result in further dispute between you and your friend and possibly even the complete cut off of your friendship because the sister might tell you don’t be friends with him or it could just be weird hanging around with your friend who’s now divorced from your sister etc. the cons outweigh the pro’s IMO. If my friend approached me to ask for my cousins hand I don’t mind.

 

[Angelina]

You women don’t get it. You’re making bad counter points. Let’s say my friend and sister get married, and it ends up in a divorce and it wasn’t amicable, it will also most likely result in further dispute between you and your friend and possibly even the complete cut off of your friendship because the sister might tell you don’t be friends with him or it could just be weird hanging around with your friend who’s now divorced from your sister etc. the cons outweigh the pro’s IMO. If my friend approached me to ask for my cousins hand I don’t mind.

Yes, but traditionally people never saw it that way because such marriages that were close to home were the norm.

Example, in the future, your friend could have a daughter and you could have a son and arrange for them to marry, if they divorce you and your close friend whom you’ve been friends with for decades might have a colossal falling out since you might feel your friend’s son who is your ex-son in-law treated your daughter bad, but that’s a risk people have always took since in tight knit communities people prefer to marry or marry their kids off to people they know and vouch for. I think what you mentioned such as a friend marrying the sister of this boy is a similar concept but less risky.

What’s worse, falling out with a friend you’ve only known for a few years or old men falling out due to their children despite the fact that they’re built a friendship that has lasted for more than 30 yrs to such an extent they’re both grandfathers now? Which loss of friendship do you think is more painful? Yet still a man marrying his kids to this friend’s kid is very normalized and I’d doubt you’d have issues with that.

 

[Yami]

I don’t have sisters but I can imagine how much of a violation this is having one of your homies try something like that

I don’t have sisters near my age but if I did I wouldn’t care. If anything wouldn’t that make us brothers in law? That be so based

 

[queasyian]

Yes, but traditionally people never saw it that way because such marriages that were close to home were the norm.

Example, in the future, your friend could have a daughter and you could have a son and arrange for them to marry, if they divorce you and your close friend whom you’ve been friends with for decades might have a colossal falling out since you might feel your friend’s son who is your ex-son in-law treated your daughter bad, but that’s a risk people have always took since in tight knit communities people prefer to marry or marry their kids off to people they know and vouch for. I think what you mentioned such as a friend marrying the sister of this boy is a similar concept but less risky.

What’s worse, falling out with a friend you’ve only known for a few years or old men falling out due to their children despite the fact that they’re built a friendship that has lasted for more than 30 yrs to such an extent they’re both grandfathers now? Which loss of friendship do you think is more painful? Yet still a man marrying his kids to this friend’s kid is very normalized and I’d doubt you’d have issues with that.

Yes I agree. It’s just cultural norms. Islamically yes nothing wrong with it of course, but those who grew in the west are not used to it. Only my south Asian friends really keep it tight within family/friends

 

[Hilmaam]

Sister and women are their own person. Would it be different if you talked to your sisters friend. Be respectful and do things Islamically you will be good. I know my circle not scumbags and decent people, would be happy for them. It’s so hard to meet and build decent families in west I won’t be obstacle to people happiness this life fleeting

 

[Tiyeglow]

Literally my Reer Abti is mostly marriages of the same city. Hoyo always telling me "laboda dinac wax ba isku tixin" whenever I asked growing up how Reer so-and-so was related to us.

Honestly, there is a saying that was Arabic saying turned Somali translated into English: "Marry someone you know, you will have kids you know". Such profound advice wallahi. Why would I want my sisters to marry a stranger? Us men always talk about doing our due diligence when looking for a spouse, this is a oven-baked due diligence (if he is practising and has Akhlaaq, you will easily know and it isn't a facade).

 

[Journey.]

Literally my Reer Abti is mostly marriages of the same city. Hoyo always telling me "laboda dinac wax ba isku tixin" whenever I asked growing up how Reer so-and-so was related to us.

Honestly, there is a saying that was Arabic saying turned Somali translated into English: "Marry someone you know, you will have kids you know". Such profound advice wallahi. Why would I want my sisters to marry a stranger? Us men always talk about doing our due diligence when looking for a spouse, this is a oven-baked due diligence (if he is practising and has Akhlaaq, you will easily know and it isn't a facade).

Exactly (this) instead of trying to sus out a complete stranger. At the end of the day your sister is going to marry somebody, why not someone you know and can vouch for? If you know your friends are unsuitable and not marriage material you would understandably be strongly against such a thing. But this is more of a reflection of the type of friends you have.

 

[Angelina]

Exactly (this) instead of trying to sus out a complete stranger. At the end of the day your sister is going to marry somebody, why not someone you know and can vouch for? If you know your friends are unsuitable and not marriage material you would understandably be strongly against such a thing. But this is more of a reflection of the type of friends you have.

Western raised men especially those from big cities grew up together with locker room humor sexualizing women and cracking lame misogynistic jokes. Furthermore, they might have had a past of dating around before ‘fixing up’ and tbh that goes with the territory of raising men with the idea of ‘boys will be boys’.

That’s why if you read the earlier posts, the posters here say something along the lines of how their friends have no respect for them if they pursue their sisters. What does that tell you? It’s a clear indication that his friend wasn’t respectful towards the sisters of other men whilst getting to know them, hence the friend adding his best mate’s sister to the mix will feel like a slap in the face and a deep insult. No man wants to see his sister date the man he would have dehumanizing conversations about women with. I completely get the male posters on this thread upon reflection, especially in the light of today’s modern gender dynamics.

I think conservatives spaces in the past (Not now since people back home have been cooked by social media and easier access to corn) had a more innocent approach to the opposite gender and centered marriage above all else and had a tradition of people marrying within their town and marrying close family friends.

 

[Journey.]

Western raised men especially those from big cities grew up together with locker room humor sexualizing women and cracking lame misogynistic jokes. Furthermore, they might have had a past of dating around before ‘fixing up’ and tbh that goes with the territory of raising men with the idea of ‘boys will be boys’.

That’s why if you read the earlier posts, the posters here say something along the lines of how their friends have no respect for them if they pursue their sisters. What does that tell you? It’s a clear indication that his friend wasn’t respectful towards the sisters of other men whilst getting to know them, hence the friend adding his best mate’s sister to the mix will feel like a slap in the face and a deep insult. No man wants to see his sister date the man he would have dehumanizing conversations about women with. I completely get the male posters on this thread upon reflection, especially in the light of today’s modern gender dynamics.

I think conservatives spaces in the past (Not now since people back home have been cooked by social media and easier access to corn) had a more innocent approach to the opposite gender and centered marriage above all else and had a tradition of people marrying within their town and marrying close family friends.

Yes, I can imagine how jarring it would be to have the friend you sit around and crack sexist and inappropriate jokes about women with turn around one day and say he is getting to know your sister

The comments about getting physical and teaching him a lesson definitely start to make sense lol.