A Happy Coming-Out-Story for A Somali Ex-Muslim

[McLovin]

You wouldn't want your mother's love and approval? My ma is the smartest person I know I'll never be too old to want her love and approval

Sounds like a recipe for stagnation. A man who asks for his mothers permission to do shit aint a man

 

[Jubba_Man]

Sounds like a recipe for stagnation. A man who asks for his mothers permission to do shit aint a man

Never knew when an obese neckbeard with cheeto-crusted fingers became the gold standard of being a man.

 

[Lord Flacko]

Sounds like a recipe for stagnation. A man who asks for his mothers permission to do shit aint a man

Asking for permission and rather wanting the approval are two different things. I can make any life decision I want and have my mother's approval because she trusts me.


My mom has saved my and my siblings asses many times. Shes a smart woman

 

[McLovin]

Never knew when an obese neckbeard with cheeto-crusted fingers became the gold standard of being a man.

You forgot Mountain Dew code red

 

[McLovin]

Asking for permission and rather wanting the approval are two different things. I can make any life decision I want and have my mother's approval because she trusts me.


My mom has saved my and my siblings asses many times. Shes a smart woman

Cool

 

[The_Cosmos]

Them genocidal Atheistic Communists sure were rational people

They were driven by communist ideology and thus I don't know what exactly that has to do with atheism.

 

[Lord Flacko]

They were driven by communist ideology and thus I don't know what exactly that has to do with atheism.

They were Atheists, aka the rational ones in your book.

 

[The_Cosmos]

They were Atheists, aka the rational ones in your book.

Not every atheist is rational. Atheism is not synonymous with rationality. Atheism is a definition.

 

[sinister]

i thought atheism was a simple lack of belief and nothing more tho

why do yall just need to tell ur parents unless it's a central part of ur identity

For some people, it is a central part of their identity. I don't see what would be funny about that.

But for most, afaics, it's the huge change in identity (going from being a Muslim to a non-Muslim is no small deal) coupled with the expectations of Muslim/Islamic behaviour that spurs people on to honesty. It's difficult to go from praying 5 times a day to not at all. People will want to know why. Having to fake belief is not a comfortable thing to go through once, doing it every day for an extended period is wearing for anyone.

 

[Tramo]

For some people, it is a central part of their identity. I don't see what would be funny about that.

But for most, afaics, it's the huge change in identity (going from being a Muslim to a non-Muslim is no small deal) coupled with the expectations of Muslim/Islamic behaviour that spurs people on to honesty. It's difficult to go from praying 5 times a day to not at all. People will want to know why. Having to fake belief is not a comfortable thing to go through once, doing it every day for an extended period is wearing for anyone.

it's funny because ppl on here like to reiterate that it's nothing more than disbelief and doesnt inform any part of their lives. if it's not that serious, why make a big deal out of coming out?

there are tons of non-practicing muslims who don't pray, drink, commit zina etc and nobody questions their faith...u dont really have to fake anything. the only way ppl would find out is if u make a big ass scene about coming out, or literally tell ppl

i don't know about u, but i think the choice between keeping ur unbelief to urself and simply not practicing and telling ur family outright and risk losing them is clear as day

 

[sinister]

it's funny because ppl on here like to reiterate that it's nothing more than disbelief and doesnt inform any part of their lives. if it's not that serious, why make a big deal out of coming out?

there are tons of non-practicing muslims who don't pray, drink, commit zina etc and nobody questions their faith...u dont really have to fake anything. the only way ppl would find out is if u make a big ass scene about coming out, or literally tell ppl

i don't know about u, but i think the choice between keeping ur unbelief to urself and simply not practicing and telling ur family outright and risk losing them is clear as day

But stating your lack of belief is a simple thing. Saying I'm no longer Muslim is not making a big deal out of something, it's just stating your no longer Muslim. The 'big deal' aspect of it comes from the reactions of people around the exMuslim.

That depends entirely on the personal circumstances of the individual. Khathead for example chose not to tell his family, I assume because a lapsed-Muslim lifestyle is something he can live and something which will not come as a surprise to his family. That's not true for everyone. It's particularly difficult for females in practising families to pretend to be Muslim by living a lapsed-Muslim lifestyle.

For some, their circumstances become difficult enough for them to want to 'risk' it, for others there isn't much of a risk, and so they're just honest. Others cannot stand effectively lying by ommission to their families about their lack of belief. I found it incredibly uncomfortable and I don't come from a religious household. Some people do make the choice you suggest, but, again, it's up to the exMuslim in question to weigh up the pros and cons. No family is the same. But in my experience, most families who react badly eventually learn to live with it after the shock wears off. The loss of family is in many circumstances not a permanent thing. As I said, it is up to the individual to figure out what is best for them and their families. Most do not take the question of telling their family lightly.

 

[Dhabaal]

i understand why gay people for example feel it's important to tell their parents, because it's a big deal. sexuality is a pretty big part of identity, but unbelief in something?

surely if it's as simple as mere unbelief then it makes more sense to not completely alienate urself from ur family over something so trivial (to the atheist)?

@AbdiJohnson religion becomes a huge part of someone's identity. so unless ur implying atheism is a religion/ideology, ur comparison doesnt work here

Homosexuality is not the totality of some ones identity, it doesn't make someone a bad person, and it is only one aspect of their humanness. When it comes to Islam as far as i know, its not a crime to be sexually attracted to the same gender.

However when it becomes a crime is when you act upon it and engage in homosexual intercourse. Might i add, this itself is rarely if ever prosecuted if its done in private because Islamic law or Muslim public does not get involved in what others do in their private space.

I agree people on here treat Atheism as religion, look at his response

Another sheegato

Would you accuse others of being a fake if it were a simple disbelief and not a formed ideology. Plus look at how this idiot conflates agnosticism with atheism.

 

[Dhabaal]

I would say, Yes. Lack of belief is a pretty big part of your identity, not to us but in the context of other muslims. You are faced with the choice of coming out as a non believer or to endure a lifetime of doing mundane rituals and denying yourself basic pleasures because of an archaic tradition you don't agree with. Not only is this tradition archaic but it seeks to be all encompassing and comes with a baggage of political stances, moral standards, dietary laws heck even ways to enter your bathroom that can make it even harder for a non believer to conform to. To a muslim, islam prevails over everything and any disagreement in that sentiment can result in serious shunning at best or your life at worst
.

A long post complaining about lifestyle and culture.

What i say is true, It has very little to do with disbelief in God which for me is a philosophical issue , not an ideological one nor is it a theological. Not even scientific as some of try to make it.

Strictly metaphysical thing, it has no identity built innit.

You guys speak as if the mere act of disbelieving has culture,ethics , lifestyle and ideology behind it. You suddenly convert out of a lifestyle & culture and become a nihilistic European cuck in your attitude , manners & thinking? Just because you doubt the existence of God?.

 

[Dhabaal]

This is unfortunately true. Not all, but a lot.

It's because they are not Atheist for philosophical reasons, but because they hate the lifestyle , they think the act of disbelieving is a new modern phenomena brought to them by the all mighty European enlightenment.

There has been disbelievers for as far as one can remember, but people having doubts has never factored into 160 change in lifestyle.

Notice how they copy and paste shit from racist Atheists on reddit, with the same over-used buzz-words like Backwards,regressive or archaic.

They can never construct real informed sentences/arguments without using vitriol and rhetoric.

Who are they even trying to fool , they are just as fundamentalist, extreme , radical and narrow-minded as the same religious fundamentalist they hate.

 

[Dhabaal]

The thing is though you're looking it at it from your perspective without actually taking looking at it from the perspective of those concerned. If you live in a religious household you're going to be expected to get involved in certain religious practices like praying or fasting for example. If you're a woman, you're expected to wear the hijab which of course cannot be expected from a murtada. Also, now that you're an atheist you no longer need to withhold yourself from the pleasures of life and all that. Staying in hiding means that you have to live as a Muslim or at least project that image.

Also Muslims, for whatever reason, cannot accept that people leave Islam because of rational and logical reasons but instead they make up bullshit about lifestyle and culture. If you want to know why we left Islam maybe the best thing to do is ask us?

Religious practices can be regarded the same as cultural practices. Wearing hijab is culture, just like wearing a turban for indians and wearing kimono for Japanese. Fasting has cultural value, and so does praying similar to how agnostic Japanese pray in their Shintoist temples so they can be with good luck.

Every Society has a specific (culture), ethics , laws and values they follow. Even Social norms which informs how one socialize with the fellow human in public and create harmony & co-op. This has no connection to someone simply disbelieving in a Diety,, A Chinese person does not stop practicing chinese culture just because he doesn't believe in God, nor does an Indian.


Lets be honest this has less to do with not believing in God as i can see plenty of you have zero working knowledge when it comes to metaphysics.

It's more about ''Hey , my mom doesn't allow me to twerk in front of the camera or talking about sucking dick'' or '' I can't drink beer at the pub with Jonas''. f*ck it , i will run away and become an atheist so i can fit in better in the west...

For the Somali atheist girls its , ''Let me hoe out or i will be out'' That would be a more honest answer from some.

 

[VixR]

@ Atheists (fellow): The concepts really aren't that difficult to grasp, which leads me to believe you're being deliberately 'misunderstood'.

 

[Dhabaal]

@ Atheists (fellow): The concepts really aren't that difficult to grasp, which leads me to believe you're being deliberately 'misunderstood'.

Hey talk to your buddies, they believe atheism is a culture,ethics,values or a formed ideology. They openly cite that their disbelief in God comes from disagreement with lifestyle choices.

Disbelief in God is strictly metaphysical, not something linked to lifestyle.

They don't deal with the existence or non-existence of God or gods, but rather, it's almost always something along the lines of "Muslims did this, that, here and there, and they're immoral for doing so, therefore God can't exist".

Something like that anyway. And that's not a scientific argument that somehow disproves the existence of God. Yeah, people are idiots, and religious people are no different in this regard they are no more human, but how does that have any bearing on whether or not there is a higher power? Supernatural entities to be or not to be, is independent from their followers being dumb or intelligent.


Agnosticism is the real logical stance when it comes to this not Atheism.

 

[VixR]

Hey talk to your buddies, they believe atheism is a culture,ethics,values or a formed ideology. They openly cite that their disbelief in God comes from disagreement with lifestyle choices.

Disbelief in God is strictly metaphysical, not something linked to lifestyle.

They don't deal with the existence or non-existence of God or gods, but rather, it's almost always something along the lines of "Muslims did this, that, here and there, and they're immoral for doing so, therefore God can't exist".

Something like that anyway. And that's not a scientific argument that somehow disproves the existence of God. Yeah, people are idiots, and religious people are no different in this regard they are no more human, but how does that have any bearing on whether or not there is a higher power? Supernatural entities to be or not to be, is independent from their followers being dumb or intelligent.


Agnosticism is the real logical stance when it comes to this not Atheism.

You've got it all backwards. The hijab and fasting are mere cultural phenomena not tenets of Islam? You're attempting to strip religion of all idealogy (and it's core practices) and saddle all these concepts onto atheism lol. Like, I don't even know where to start with you. I'm about to fall asleep, I'll catch u 2mrw.

 

[Dhabaal]

You've got it all backwards. The hijab and fasting are mere cultural phenomena not tenets of Islam? You're attempting to strip religion of all idealogy and it's cure practices and saddle all these concepts onto atheism lol. Like, I don't even know where to start with you. I'm about to fall asleep, I'll catch u 2mrw.

You are saying Atheism is a formed ideology and religion. LOOOL!!

You can disbelief in God and still engage in this Islamic rituals & practices they have cultural value behind them like any.

Cultures are just collection of proven or tested methods of leaving life meaningfully. It doesn't become meaningless just because you doubt the existence of God.

Unless you are leaning on a Nihilistic angel

 

[Tramo]

But stating your lack of belief is a simple thing. Saying I'm no longer Muslim is not making a big deal out of something, it's just stating your no longer Muslim. The 'big deal' aspect of it comes from the reactions of people around the exMuslim.

That depends entirely on the personal circumstances of the individual. Khathead for example chose not to tell his family, I assume because a lapsed-Muslim lifestyle is something he can live and something which will not come as a surprise to his family. That's not true for everyone. It's particularly difficult for females in practising families to pretend to be Muslim by living a lapsed-Muslim lifestyle.

For some, their circumstances become difficult enough for them to want to 'risk' it, for others there isn't much of a risk, and so they're just honest. Others cannot stand effectively lying by ommission to their families about their lack of belief. I found it incredibly uncomfortable and I don't come from a religious household. Some people do make the choice you suggest, but, again, it's up to the exMuslim in question to weigh up the pros and cons. No family is the same. But in my experience, most families who react badly eventually learn to live with it after the shock wears off. The loss of family is in many circumstances not a permanent thing. As I said, it is up to the individual to figure out what is best for them and their families. Most do not take the question of telling their family lightly.

i don't see how it's any more difficult for females, but i assume ur referring to the hijab? plenty of muslim girls dont wear the hijab and it's not something inextricably linked to faith (tho i agree, somalis at least seem to make it out to be that way)...but i think it's something that depends on family. u gotta call it by ear i guess

why did u find it extremely uncomfortable if i may ask? uncomfortable in that u dont like lying to ur parents for so long, or simply lying about ur beliefs? the way i see it, atheism shouldnt be that important to someone, unless the whole 'atheism is merely nothing more than disbelief in God' canard is just a convenient tool to use in other arguments

honestly, unless ur folks are super liberal and dont really care...i think the best course of action is almost always to just be one of them non-practicing Muslims