Rorschach
...
@Dibleyy
Relations between young Somali men and women in the diaspora have always been awkward.
Both genders are much more open with strangers from other ethnicities as if there's a sense of relief that you don't need to maintain a certain "character" with them.
We share this type of "sibling" energy where you feel the person has some form of connection to your family through community/clan/qarabo/grapevine etc. meaning that each Somali you meet who is technically a "stranger", doesn't feel so and has the potential to wreck your reputation.
This makes us guarded, especially the girls. And lets be honest, most Somalis code switch between how they communicate with the family/community and the outside world. The risk of judgement or imagined gossip stills you from sharing your hobbies/interest/"true self" with an unvetted Somali.
This "sibling" energy works in our favour when mixing with the same gender, but totally cripples us otherwise. Talking to the opposite gender in public has a ceeb connotation. The unintended consequence was the hiding of shukaansi and dating - burying it into the underground. And what happens in the shadows...
The parents, dugsi teachers, and elders enforce the no contact with the opposite gender rule heavily for Somali youth. They then turn around when these youth reach their mid-twenties to bark, "these diaspora Somalis don't know shit about shukaansi, why can't you find yourself a spouse? Go mingle!".
Perhaps if you didn't make out that interacting with the opposite gender was a doomsday scenario of debauchery, the youth wouldn't grow up to be so guarded against each other as if interacting with a wild beast. The hypocrisy is honestly maddening.
Guys, make an effort to greet any Somali woman you see in public; whether it's with a salaam/hello or a simple smile and a nod. Stop with the bizarro weird stares, awkward glances, and imaginary sexual tension! It usually takes but a couple of interactions for the both people to loosen up.
If you are talking to a girl romantically, your conversations should never see the light of day. Keep that shit to yourself.
Relations between young Somali men and women in the diaspora have always been awkward.
Both genders are much more open with strangers from other ethnicities as if there's a sense of relief that you don't need to maintain a certain "character" with them.
We share this type of "sibling" energy where you feel the person has some form of connection to your family through community/clan/qarabo/grapevine etc. meaning that each Somali you meet who is technically a "stranger", doesn't feel so and has the potential to wreck your reputation.
This makes us guarded, especially the girls. And lets be honest, most Somalis code switch between how they communicate with the family/community and the outside world. The risk of judgement or imagined gossip stills you from sharing your hobbies/interest/"true self" with an unvetted Somali.
This "sibling" energy works in our favour when mixing with the same gender, but totally cripples us otherwise. Talking to the opposite gender in public has a ceeb connotation. The unintended consequence was the hiding of shukaansi and dating - burying it into the underground. And what happens in the shadows...
The parents, dugsi teachers, and elders enforce the no contact with the opposite gender rule heavily for Somali youth. They then turn around when these youth reach their mid-twenties to bark, "these diaspora Somalis don't know shit about shukaansi, why can't you find yourself a spouse? Go mingle!".
Perhaps if you didn't make out that interacting with the opposite gender was a doomsday scenario of debauchery, the youth wouldn't grow up to be so guarded against each other as if interacting with a wild beast. The hypocrisy is honestly maddening.
Guys, make an effort to greet any Somali woman you see in public; whether it's with a salaam/hello or a simple smile and a nod. Stop with the bizarro weird stares, awkward glances, and imaginary sexual tension! It usually takes but a couple of interactions for the both people to loosen up.
If you are talking to a girl romantically, your conversations should never see the light of day. Keep that shit to yourself.
