You don't own your wife, she is her own person. Do you roam the street and speak to whom ever you want?, if you do then you have no right to stop anyone else from living their life.
Domestic violence: Are the men always provoked? Who's the real victim?
- Thread starter Gibiin-Udug
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You don't own your wife, she is her own person. Do you roam the street and speak to whom ever you want?, if you do then you have no right to stop anyone else from living their life.
Tbf to the misogynistic men, there are plenty of misogynistic women who are happy/want to be treated like that, that they can choose from. An acquaintance of mine was searching around for a hubby, she met a man who said he didn't want her to ever work, he didn't want her talking to non mehram men, she wouldn't be allowed to go out except with him so he can drive her to and from where she wanted to go etc etc etc just a whole bunch of ridiculous stuff. In her mind, this sounded good because that was what she invisioned her place in a marriage to be. So long as the women is happy and has the same misogynistic values, to each his own.
Mugheerah
TheXamarCadcadGuy
I know I don't own my wife? Did I say that? Liar. We as men have been orderes to protect our women.
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 34]
The prophet Muhammad saw said ‘A Dayooth will not enter Jannah.’ The Sahabah asked, ‘Who is a Dayooth?’ Rasoolullah sallallahu alaihe wasallam said, ‘A man who does not care who visits his wife (i.e. men).’
And on the issue of Ghayrah, Ibn al-Qayyim, rahimahullaah, said,
“And the Dayyouth (the man with no jealousy over the women in his family) is the most vile of Allah’s creation, and Jannah is forbidden for him, (because of his lack of Ghayrah – jealousy).
Tramo
Nine kitaabs on a bookshelf
spoken like a true arabDon't be quick to blame the male! Some women have very sharp tongues. Most of the times, the only way to make her stfu is to hit her, to humble her a bit. I've witnessed women accusing their husbands of things they did not do, then they don't listen to the explanation and start insulting the man wtf? Then there are those who disagree with their husbands on important matters out of ignorance! There are also those who are very lenient when socialisin with men, they smile, laugh and even flirt! I cannot bear the thought of my future wife (in sha Allah) socialising, walking, speaking and flirting with other men, it would be even worse if it was in my absence!
Mugheerah
TheXamarCadcadGuy
Spoken like a true man*.spoken like a true arab
That's correct.
There are women and men who accept abuse from their partners, that doesn't make the abuse acceptable. It is up to the sane people to tell them they are in a bad situation.
Key words: protectors and maintainers, so how do you protect women by oppressing them. Allah created this world for jinn and mankind to roam free about. Allah made the world beautiful so that we can wonder at his creation, who gave you right to stop another person from going out and exploring this world. A dayooth is a person who doesn't mind his wife cheating on him, a woman talking to other men and making a her own decision doesn't make her husband a dayooth.
I wouldn't put this on the same level as 'abuse', whether physical or mental. This is a difference in values. We can tell them but that doesn't mean they'll listen or change.
Some values are bad and not worth upholding. If one spouse forces the other to stay at home than that is oppression and akin to home-arrest. Allah made oppression haram.
Mugheerah
TheXamarCadcadGuy
Values being bad and good are a lot of the times subjective, especially when it comes to life choices like these. You thinking women shouldn't be treated that way would be considered a bad value not worth upholding to somebody else.
My comment was about the women who agree, not the ones who are being forced.
Stopping people from behaving according to their values should be down to the harm they cause to other people not themselves. A women who think she should stay at home and only leave the house with her husbands permission is probably harming herself. But we shouldn't try and force her to live by our values instead. As you said we can tell them why we think they're wrong, but at the end of the day, grown adults make their own choices in life, whether we think it is good or not.
I wouldn't want these people forcing their values on me, so I'm happy to give them the same latitude. Let's be honest though, this way of thinking is definitely dying, it's just a matter of time.
Mugheerah
TheXamarCadcadGuy
LMAO are you trying to tell me what a dayooth is and isn't? No one is against women wandering freely (as long as the distance is not too far, like over 40 miles). A dayooth is someone who doesn't have غيرة over his womenfolk. Please don't try to tell me what it is because I study this stuff. Read the Hadith about the عيرة of Sa'ad ibn Muadh (RA). I'm not saying she should live in a prison. I'm saying women should ask permission if they want to go to a particular place (for the sake of protecting them). I did not even say anything wrong, you're just emotional.
Are you in my home with me, how do you know I am emotional? Trust me I wouldn't get emotional over the opinion of a stranger on the internet. However misogynist love to throw that word emotional around when women start to speak up for themselves and demand justice. No, women do not need to ask permission for anything, they are grown-ups and make their own decisions about where they want go.
If you 'lost' your wife like your people lose their sheep would you buy her back? Lmao!!!!!
Mugheerah
TheXamarCadcadGuy
Lol, he is so insecure with himself, he has to imprison his wife.
It's okay, I see why you're insecure.
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