Having A "Valuable" Woman By Your Side Is Quintessential To Every Man's Success

[johnsepei5]

Steering him in the right direction for professional development

Too bad i’m marrying a halimo from back home only thing she gonna be steering is the suugo pot and my shax

 

[Odious Delirium]

A lot of those men aren’t distrustful
Or more expectant. What issues does the second wife fall into Javelin?! They marry again and the 2nd wife generally gets an easier ride. You could argue it’s fear mongering and you might have a point. But this is far too common phenomenon in society. Very common for men to marry again/divorce once they reached a certain status. A woman’s sacrifice doesn’t guarantee loyalty. Even the second wife comment you made proves it. We can all agree in certain communities, rich men tend to be , but that’s off the backs of a woman who spent her youth being monogamous with him struggling with him, ask, how is she rewarded? With a younger second wife who didn’t have to struggle and has life on easy mode being provided for and more adored due to her youth and beauty. Also, Javelin being in a polygamous marriage is easier when you didn’t put your life and soul into a poorer man and riding life with him out of love. A new woman will feel like the biggest slap in the face. You’ve built this man up, helped him, but even borrowed him money, lived in reduced circumstances, raised children in difficulty due to money shortage and once you get to a time in life in which money isn’t an issue and you look forward to finally be able to spend time with your partner stress free, he prefers to mostly spend it with and on a younger woman.

You do realise we has this convo on the negative effects in general your current stance has on the somali community and how i said this is the mentality of many somali girls but you argued that it wasn't the case bit regardless many settle anyways so I digress.

Your og point Has always been to build and work together with a partner but now your falling back to fear mongering. This whole take will always be a rarity and will never apply to most. It's just an irrational fear. This kind of stuff is always sensationalised and made to sound more common then it is because it's a negative story.

But the more common this notion and view on marriage becomes the less women that will end up get married overall. In fact this would probably lead to more polygamy and less loyalty from the men's side overall and more surface level picking based on thing like just beauty because as far as those guys who made it are concerned there being picked for there money so they would just pick for beauty and move on to the next when she gets old simply because he doesn't owe her any loyalty and doesn't trust her anyways. She wasn't there for him from the jump.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

looooooool! Most men don't think like this. They don't respect ride or die women. When they reach success they will trade her in for a newer model or get another wife. On top of that, they will spoil the other wife cuz she married him at his height of success and expects to be spoiled and he knows that.

Men look down on ride or die women. It's such a phenomenon that it even has a name. The come-up woman / Barbara the builder

Don’t worry about being discarded or cheated on. If it happens it happens. There’s no way to predict it or avoid it happening so you might as well give up on this FDS nonsense.

Just marry a normal guy you’re attracted to and don’t think too much about it because in no way are you the type of woman who’s capable of ‘securing the bag’ and playing men.

 

[Angelina]

You do realise we has this convo on the negative effects in general your current stance has on the somali community and how i said this is the mentality of many somali girls but you argued that it wasn't the case bit regardless many settle anyways so I digress.

I don’t think girls should have unrealistic expectations. But I don’t believe in ‘struggle love’. Be realistic, help out here and there but don’t sell yourself short and make unrealistic sacrifices because at the end of the day, men are human. Also, it’s a fairytale for you to think that people will reward you for something they didn’t even force you to do.

Women shouldn’t go into a situation hoping for a reward, because in many cases, it might come or it might not. Go into a situation in which you can currently handle that isn’t going to make you angry later on. It will save them a lot of bitterness and thinking patterns of ‘I did this for him and I did that for him’

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Your og point Has always been to build and work together with a partner but now your falling back to fear mongering. This whole take will always be a rarity and will never apply to most. It's just an irrational fear. This kind of stuff is always sensationalised and made to sound more common then it is because it's a negative story.

It isn’t an irrational fear. It is the most common situation for a lot of habayars. A lot and I mean a lot sacrificed a lot and raised 6-8 kids without a lot of money and the moment their middle aged odey has two shillings to rub together he’s spending it on a younger women back home who is in a villa with maids whilst these Habayar’s are in London working in care. I know these women personally. Javelin ask your mum and her views of what she sees with middle aged Somali women. It might give you an insight.

But the more common this notion and view on marriage becomes the less women that will end up get married overall. In fact this would probably lead to more polygamy and less loyalty from the men's side overall and more surface level picking based on thing like just beauty because as far as those guys who made it are concerned there being picked for there money so they would just pick for beauty and move on to the next when she gets old simply because he doesn't owe her any loyalty and doesn't trust her anyways. She wasn't there for him from the jump.

That’s the formula already in the older gen in the Somali community. Women who’ve been there for the jump and battled poverty and have given birth to x amount of children being left once they’re become unattractive and older. Many men whether rich or poor pick that way already. The only difference is that the former goes for what he can currently afford now.

 

[Angelina]

For example most guys in there building stage are in uni or just post uni so it more so about having gotten to know them then and believing in the process and we'll building up with them until they reach there peak. I guess you can do it now but you don't have that same access to guys of all career types and you said you lost all your friends so you don't have much of a network.

Wait you said your going back to uni right so technically you can still do this basically look for a potential husband aswell as doing your studies

Going for a guy at Uni when you’re in Uni doesn’t count. You’re essentially going for someone who has an upward career trajectory especially he’s studying medicine or law at a top Uni and literally within a few years you’re both in professional jobs and as a woman, you should be working on and securing your own money and making moves for yourself as well.

I’m talking about these habayars that have married men that hardly had anything, had children in difficult circumstances ect, but rode it out with them and loved and then and looked after their home and husbands .

 

[Odious Delirium]

Don’t worry about being discarded or cheated on. If it happens it happens. There’s no way to predict it or avoid it happening so you might as well give up on this FDS nonsense.

Just marry a normal guy you’re attracted to and don’t think too much about it because in no way are you the type of woman who’s capable of ‘securing the bag’ and playing men.

Realistically you got to be an 8+ in looks out of 10 at the very least.

generally ready made guys are just looking for looks and a house wife/trophy wife and multiple wives.

But maybe Yaraye is we don't know what she looks like and she says she has learnt the ways of finessing from her mother so perhaps she can but that requires networking and being in the circles of ready made guys in the first place.

 

[Unbothered]

Women are not life coaches
A man who isn’t successful shouldn’t even talk to a woman.
Only a pickmiesha would build a man

 

[Yusuf Abdi Ali Rashid]

There’s a Somali proverb that goes “ what makes one man succeed and another fail are the women in their lives”.

I just couldn’t seem to separate the good women from the bad with regards to my life, so using my masculine primordial stench, i took all the women out of my life in one fell swoop. Never felt better.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Realistically you got to be an 8+ in looks out of 10 at the very least.

generally ready made guys are just looking for looks and a house wife/trophy wife and multiple wives.

But maybe Yaraye is we don't know what she looks like and she says she has learnt the ways of finessing from her mother so perhaps she can but that requires networking and being in the circles of ready made guys in the first place.

A woman only needs to be 5/10 max. What matters for women is proximity and social status, looks only matter for men.

Problem is that I doubt a introverted inexperienced girl can play men like a fiddle or will have access to that studycelled/grindmaxxed nolife young rich guy with a closed off circle. Or the rare old money farax who doesn’t look at peasants

 

[Pluto1001]

@Yaraye youre going to be involuntarily single forever.

Not nice of you. As long as she stays away from certain folk I’m certain she’ll be good.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I don’t think girls should have unrealistic expectations. But I don’t believe in ‘struggle love’. Be realistic, help out here and there but don’t sell yourself short and make unrealistic sacrifices because at the end of the day, men are human. Also, it’s a fairytale for you to think that people will reward you for something they didn’t even force you to do.

Women shouldn’t go into a situation hoping for a reward, because in many cases, it might come or it might not. Go into a situation in which you can currently handle that isn’t going to make you angry later on. It will save them a lot of bitterness and thinking patterns of ‘I did this for him and I did that for him’

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

It isn’t an irrational fear. It is the most common situation for a lot of habayars. A lot and I mean a lot sacrificed a lot and raised 6-8 kids without a lot of money and the moment their middle aged odey has two shillings to rub together he’s spending it on a younger women back home who is in a villa with maids whilst these Habayar’s are in London working in care. I know these women personally. Javelin ask your mum and her views of what she sees with middle aged Somali women. It might give you an insight.

That’s the formula already in the older gen in the Somali community. Women who’ve been there for the jump and battled poverty and have given birth to x amount of children being left once they’re become unattractive and older. Many men whether rich or poor pick that way already. The only difference is that the former goes for what he can currently afford now.

on this exact same point perviously you said we can't fall back on the experiences of our parents generation on this exact same topic and that it doesn't count on this point when arguing for our generation and how different we are to the old gen but now your falling back on the experiences between habyaars and adeers on the exact same point you were reluctant to making in the previous thread
And if we go off the old gen majority started from the bottom and are still with there day ones. Polygamy even amongst them is still with in the minority. Most of them were just horrible people to each other if we are being honest.
My parents are still together and I would say that's the case for the majority of the community. I would say this goes back to my point of generational trauma. We are transferring the circumstances and situations of those people who don't share an upbringing as those of us who grew up in the west. Its not comparable the mindset is different and if anything you women are a lot more independent so if anything there is less blow back risk involved as opposed to how it was for our parents gen yet your way more standoffish and at a distance from it all in this gen to I assume protect yourselves which makes less now that you have agency as women.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Going for a guy at Uni when you’re in Uni doesn’t count. You’re essentially going for someone who has an upward career trajectory especially he’s studying medicine or law at a top Uni and literally within a few years you’re both in professional jobs and as a woman, you should be working on and securing your own money and making moves for yourself as well.

I’m talking about these habayars that have married men that hardly had anything, had children in difficult circumstances ect, but rode it out with them and loved and then and looked after their home and husbands .

It does count because guess what most women do not focus on getting Into relationships while there studying if anything uni would be the best way to go about this but most don't and first start looking post uni where they no longer have that same access.

What would you define as "made it"?

 

[Kane]

looooooool! Most men don't think like this. They don't respect ride or die women. When they reach success they will trade her in for a newer model or get another wife. On top of that, they will spoil the other wife cuz she married him at his height of success and expects to be spoiled and he knows that.

Men look down on ride or die women. It's such a phenomenon that it even has a name. The come-up woman / Barbara the builder

You modern women really know nothing about men, you take well established female traits and super impose it on to men.

In the real red pill space, men are discouraged from doing two things when finding a woman.

1. never upgrade a woman's lifestyle, instead find a woman that's doing good and add a little onto her life.

why, because after you upgrade her and she becomes accustomed to this new way of life.She starts to think, if i could get a man of this caliber when i was poor and destitute, i wonder what man i get now that i look healthier and dress better.

2. Never marry a fat or an obese woman.

why, because the moment she loses the weight, she will think if i could get a man like this when i was fat and ugly. i most certainly can attract much better men now that i am in shape.

In female nature this is called hypergamy and its an accepted fact, its not a male trait.

i have real life stories based on these two scenarios if you want proof.

 

[Angelina]

You modern women really know nothing about men, you take well established female traits and super impose it on to men.

In the real red pill space, men are discouraged from doing two things when finding a woman.

1. never upgrade a woman's lifestyle, instead find a woman that's doing good and add a little onto her life.

why, because after you upgrade her and she becomes accustomed to this new way of life.She starts to think, if i could get a man of this caliber when i was poor and destitute, i wonder what man i get now that i look healthier and dress better.

2. Never marry a fat or an obese woman.

why, because the moment she loses the weight, she will think if i could get a man like this when i was fat and ugly. i most certainly can attract much better men now that i am in shape.

In female nature this is called hypergamy and its an accepted fact, its not a male trait.

i have real life stories based on these two scenarios if you want proof.

You’re contradicting yourself. Don’t you lot think that women that are doing well in terms of career and money as being ‘masculine’? Don’t you lot say that men don’t care about women’s education, finance and achievements?

LOL.

 

[Yaraye]

You modern women really know nothing about men, you take well established female traits and super impose it on to men.

In the real red pill space, men are discouraged from doing two things when finding a woman.

1. never upgrade a woman's lifestyle, instead find a woman that's doing good and add a little onto her life.

why, because after you upgrade her and she becomes accustomed to this new way of life.She starts to think, if i could get a man of this caliber when i was poor and destitute, i wonder what man i get now that i look healthier and dress better.

You said a woman's education/financial status didn't matter and that's not what men look at. wtf is this then? You contradict yourself so much that you can't tell your head from your ass.

 

[AbdiFreedom]

If you're a man, don't consider guur until you reached 30 if you are going to get/have a good paying job. You're in total control then to get the best wife for you. Your kids will be in their 20s and 30s when you're in your 50s and 60s. Its not a big deal. Redpill is all anti-women hate propaganda so ignore it but they are right about the options you have only if you're above average. They will assault you with their eyes, including to good married men.

 

[Yaraye]

If you're a man, don't consider guur until you reached 30 if you are going to get/have a paying job. You're in total control then to get the best wife for you. Your kids will be in their 20s and 30s when you're in your 50s and 60s. Its not a big deal. Redpill is all anti-women hate propaganda so ignore it but they are right about the options you have only if you're above average.

I get this, but this below

They will assault you with their eyes, including to good married men.

"Assault you with their eyes"

 

[Kane]

You’re contradicting yourself. Don’t you lot think that women that are doing well in terms of career and money as being ‘masculine’? Don’t you lot say that men don’t care about women’s education, finance and achievements?

LOL.

When the prophet SCW said “A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion.

was he talking about feminist inspired worldly career women, or women that come from wealth and nobility.

There are plenty of somali women who come from wealthy families, and who have lived a life of luxury, without working a day in their life outside of the home.

women who put their Deen and culture above that of lesbian Gaalo women gospel, wifey material types who will teach their children. The beauty of Islam instead of the false freedoms that secularism, liberalism and all manners of Godlessness have to offer.

 

[Yaraye]

When the prophet SCW said “A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion.

was he talking about feminist inspired worldly career women, or women that come from wealth and nobility.

There are plenty of somali women who come from wealthy families, and who have lived a life of luxury, without working a day in their lives outside of their homes.

women who put their Deen and culture above that of lesbian Gaalo women gospel, wifey material women that will teach her children. The beauty of Islam instead of the false freedoms that secularism, liberalism and all manners of Godlessness have to offer.

Stop going off topic nigga. We know what the prophet said, and he is correct. We are not talking about what the prophet said. We are talking about what YOU said.

 

[Kane]

Stop going off topic nigga. We know what the prophet said, and he is correct. We are not talking about what the prophet said. We are talking about what YOU said.

this might be hard for you to understand, i follow the Sunna of prophet Mohammed SWC.