How big is this issue in our community (marriage topic) ?

[Keep it a boqol]

Elaborate what do you mean by that ?

I think he means gender wars and male bashing

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

I think he means gender wars and male bashing

That makes sense I think a lot of younger dudes perception might have changed due to the internet and they may hold negative views now unfortunately

 

[Guled111]

Elaborate what do you mean by that ?

If you have used tiktok for a while you would know. Some brothers got traumatised from using this app.
No Aqlaaq whatsoever, mufti menk once said you either go jannah or hell using the app.

 

[Somaliwadani123]

I think money and resources are a factor however I know many men and women who are seeking marriages outside their hometown or nation. I many Canadians in Toronto talking to Americans from mn and Seattle. I don’t know how common international marriages are for Europe.

many of the Somali men I know are more interested in getting into high positions in their career and seeking options then settling down ASAP.

I know many women too who have turned men down despite the males eagerness to get married as well due to them feeling like their too young. Also people breaking off potentials because of attractiveness and weight.

I think everyone has high expectations which isn’t a bad thing so ppl hold off until they find mr/mrs perfect

Yeah I see this too, alot of toronto guys are talking to Mn hijabi girls now

 

[Kane]

Marriages has been declining due to SIN increasing the world. That is why i made my own Nun home.

Basra am I losing my mind? cause keep agreeing with you a lot lately.

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”

 

[Dualke]

Only one of my cousins got married and it was to a half madow/Indian guy she most likely dated prior. Got cousins in their 30s still living with their parents, no way in hell will I ever get setup and dating is Haram.

 

[Qeelbax]

@xoogster @Angelina @Rocktheboat @Keep it a boqol 💯 @Qeelbax @Bundasliga what y’all think is this a big issue in our community nowadays ?

We lack islamic principles because our community hasn’t learned the true fiqh and cilm in Islam. We went on full speed and put on jilbabs and named our kids abdi this and that and believed that’s all it takes to be Muslim. Our community functions without proper islamic knowledge on how to live our lives in a halal manner and yet we believe that we are in the right and are knowledgeable. It’s another case of Somali arrogance. Every flaw in our community, from the state of our country/war, to the racist trolls tarnishing our name, to the qabilism, to the lack of working and believing it’s for “langaabs”, to the state of somali families all goes back to arrogance. Arrogance is the downfall of the somali people. It goes unchecked in our community and rather praised.

Our community is embarrassing and broken. We need a restart.

There are many quotes on arrogance (kibr) in the quran. Here is one

“Do not strut arrogantly about the Earth. You will certainly never split the earth apart nor will you ever rival the mountains in height.” [Surah Al-Isra’: 37]


Many somali people will read this and think it’s only about gaalo or wealthy/powerful muslims who think they are above muslims/poor but this encompasses our community too.

 

[Bundasliga]

No wonder this community is full of gender wars. Frustrated xalimos & faraxs who can't get married turning all the repressed sexual energy into gender wars. @Basra you agree ?

 

[Basra]

No wonder this community is full of gender wars. Frustrated xalimos & faraxs who can't get married turning all the repressed sexual energy into gender wars. @Basra you agree ?

There is a misalignment huuno. Xaliimo are walking around with Farah brains and Farah vice versa. The results is chaos, and non-harmony.

 

[Kane]

There is a misalignment huuno. Xaliimo are walking around with Farah brains and Farah vice versa. The results is chaos, and non-harmony.

View attachment 241271

Women are taking on more masculine traits, thinking it will attract men. Because of all the compliments, they keep getting from their female peers.

( perfect strategy if you just want hooks up, feminine and low value men.

Men are taking on more feminine traits, to Better relate to women, make them feel safe and comfortable around them.

( perfect strategy if you enjoy the friend zone, low value women and single mothers.

 

[Basra]

Women are taking on more masculine traits, thinking it will attract men. Because of all the compliments, they keep getting from their female peers.

( perfect strategy if you just want hooks up, feminine and low value men.

Men are taking on more feminine traits, to Better relate to women, make them feel safe and comfortable around them.

( perfect strategy if you enjoy the friend zone, low value women and single mothers.

Not Happening. But Xaliimo-- it is thru NO fault of theirs tho-- their hormones mess with them.

 

[Kane]

Not Happening. But Xaliimo-- it is thru NO fault of theirs tho-- their hormones mess with them.

I agree it’s not entirely their fault, but hormones are not to blame.

It’s due societal norms and the sharp decline of masculinity in our community, caused by Single mother homes.

 

[Bundasliga]

@Basra your new profile pic doesn't suit you ,eedo

 

[Basra]

@Basra your new profile pic doesn't suit you ,eedo

View attachment 241326

that agist! Discrimination!

 

[Bundasliga]

that agist! Discrimination!

ageist & proud

 

[Last Laugh]

All the guys I know either married young to their highschool/Uni sweetheart or waited a bit longer and got married back home. There is an epidemic of single Somali ladies who can’t find men for marriage in the west. Especially men who aren’t blue collar workers. I recommend trying a different Somali diaspora or being extremely proactice about getting married locally.

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

All the guys I know either married young to their highschool/Uni sweetheart or waited a bit longer and got married back home. There is an epidemic of single Somali ladies who can’t find men for marriage in the west. Especially men who aren’t blue collar workers. I recommend trying a different Somali diaspora or being extremely proactice about getting married locally.

Why do you think thats The case in your opinion?

 

[Last Laugh]

Why do you think thats The case in your opinion?

The guys want something more traditional and affordable. The ladies are waiting way too long to even consider marriage and when they do, their standards are unrealistic. They all wait until age 25+ which kills their chances because all the good dudes are cuffed early. The pool for available, educated guys are low because for every Somali guy in University, theres 4 Somali girls in Uni.

The Parents are also at fault here since they have a hands off apprach to this topic. They fail to realize they can’t raise us the same as kids back in Somalia. The kids back home are raised by the village and other elders. But in the West, they have to actively be apart of their kids life and that includes helping them find a spouse. There are so many factors to acknowledge, I can literally write an essay about it.

 

[Jaydaan]

All the guys I know either married young to their highschool/Uni sweetheart or waited a bit longer and got married back home. There is an epidemic of single Somali ladies who can’t find men for marriage in the west. Especially men who aren’t blue collar workers. I recommend trying a different Somali diaspora or being extremely proactice about getting married locally.

Nothing wrong with blue workers. Somalis look down on blue workers, even back home the one that lives on money sent from the west look down on blue workers

A lot of Somali women focus too much on what the man makes now instead of realising it’s a journey. You not gonna have many mid 20s men earn enough to support a whole family on their own. Western society nowadays is made for the average household to have two incomes. Unless you are a small % of people who make enough to support a wife and kids on your own

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

The guys want something more traditional and affordable. The ladies are waiting way too long to even consider marriage and when they do, their standards are unrealistic. They all wait until age 25+ which kills their chances because all the good dudes are cuffed early. The pool for available, educated guys are low because for every Somali guy in University, theres 4 Somali girls in Uni.

The Parents are also at fault here since they have a hands off apprach to this topic. They fail to realize they can’t raise us the same as kids back in Somalia. The kids back home are raised by the village and other elders. But in the West, they have to actively be apart of their kids life and that includes helping them find a spouse. There are so many factors to acknowledge, I can literally write an essay about it.

Make a thread about it should be interesting discussion