How big is this issue in our community (marriage topic) ?

[empressjamila]

Somali parents seem to be out of touch with reality in the west walahi. My hooyo told me to not date/look for a husband until I find a full time job when I’m well into my twenties (and I work just not full time). So now I just date without telling them. We’re not back home, no guy is gonna knock down our door asking my father for my hand in marriage lmao.

You listen to somali parents you’re gonna be in you’re 30’s and single which makes it a lot harder for a woman cause all the good guys are snatched up by then. All the married women I know dated behind their parents back. Somali parents won’t find anyone for you so you gotta be proactive as a Somali woman. That’s what I would tell this sister. I would also tell her to open up her options especially if she doesn’t live near a lot of somalis. Gotta be realistic

 

[Last Laugh]

Nothing wrong with blue workers. Somalis look down on blue workers, even back home the one that lives on money sent from the west look down on blue workers

A lot of Somali women focus too much on what the man makes now instead of realising it’s a journey. You not gonna have many mid 20s men earn enough to support a whole family on their own. Western society nowadays is made for the average household to have two incomes. Unless you are a small % of people who make enough to support a wife and kids on your own

I agree that there is nothing wrong with blue collar work. The work they do allow society to even function properly. But there is always a negative stigma associated with blue collar workers. Especially people with college education. They think they are beneath them which is unfortunate.

 

[Last Laugh]

Make a thread about it should be interesting discussion

I’m more of a lurker then a thread maker. I’ll post here and there but I’m not interested in making platinum threads.

 

[Angelina]

The guys want something more traditional and affordable. The ladies are waiting way too long to even consider marriage and when they do, their standards are unrealistic. They all wait until age 25+ which kills their chances because all the good dudes are cuffed early. The pool for available, educated guys are low because for every Somali guy in University, theres 4 Somali girls in Uni.

TBH, where i'm at now there are a lot of single 28+ Somali men who don't speak to Somali women and find it hard finding ones in their area because of that. My cousin and her husband who are quiet social were telling me her husbands friends and cousins who are still single. I want to hook them up with my friends.

The Parents are also at fault here since they have a hands off apprach to this topic. They fail to realize they can’t raise us the same as kids back in Somalia.

That is a major issue and I 100% agree. You cannot expect a miskeen girl and boy who don't freemix to find someone. I know far to many girls who literally only surround themselves with other women.

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The kids back home are raised by the village and other elders.

Kids back home have a whole city, heck country to choose from. Everywhere they look they see Somalis. Many of us on the other hand are surrounded by ajnabis. Also, back home they're incredibly social and proactive. A large subsection of Somali men and women in the West are meek and don't know how to interact with the opp gender. They're even worse when they're sheltered.

But in the West, they have to actively be apart of their kids life and that includes helping them find a spouse. There are so many factors to acknowledge, I can literally write an essay about it.

I wish Somalis had more events to allow people to get to know each other. Also, parents introducing the kids friends ect, there are many ways. Unless your son or daughters are social and know people who'll introduce them, go to events and places that Somalis would be at, they'll struggle. Ive seen it first hand. Believe when I say this, a lot of the girls that I know that are single in the early 30s tend to be the home/work types who don't ever talk to guys and only ever speak to women.

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Seeing shit like that really does irritate me when they bash older unmarried girls because you'd be suprised how sheltered some of these girls are.

 

[Jaydaan]

I agree that there is nothing wrong with blue collar work. The work they do allow society to even function properly. But there is always a negative stigma associated with blue collar workers. Especially people with college education. They think they are beneath them which is unfortunate.

I think it’s been a scam by people running higher education that unless you have spent thousands on going to college/university you are not educated. Don’t get me wrong universities are important. But not for everyone and a lot of people who go to them do meaningless degrees only to have a paper they can use to say they are educated

But somehow plumbers, builders or electricians are seen as uneducated. Even truck drivers do an extremely important job in society. One week without them society collapse

 

[Keep it a boqol]

@Basra your new profile pic doesn't suit you ,eedo

View attachment 241326

I like it last one screamed mental illness

 

[Last Laugh]

TBH, where i'm at now there are a lot of single 28+ Somali men who don't speak to Somali women and find it hard finding ones in their area because of that. My cousin and her husband who are quiet social were telling me her husbands friends and cousins who are still single. I want to hook them up with my friends.

That is a major issue and I 100% agree. You cannot expect a miskeen girl and boy who don't freemix to find someone. I know far to many girls who literally only surround themselves with other women.

Spoiler

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Kids back home have a whole city, heck country to choose from. Everywhere they look they see Somalis. Many of us on the other hand are surrounded by ajnabis. Also, back home they're incredibly social and proactive. A large subsection of Somali men and women in the West are meek and don't know how to interact with the opp gender. They're even worse when they're sheltered.

I wish Somalis had more events to allow people to get to know each other. Also, parents introducing the kids friends ect, there are many ways. Unless your son or daughters are social and know people who'll introduce them, go to events and places that Somalis would be at, they'll struggle. Ive seen it first hand. Believe when I say this, a lot of the girls that I know that are single in the early 30s tend to be the home/work types who don't ever talk to guys and only ever speak to women.

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Seeing shit like that really does irritate me when they bash older unmarried girls because you'd be suprised how sheltered some of these girls are.

All great points. Thanks for you input.

 

[Last Laugh]

I think it’s been a scam by people running higher education that unless you have spent thousands on going to college/university you are not educated. Don’t get me wrong universities are important. But not for everyone and a lot of people who go to them do meaningless degrees only to have a paper they can use to say they are educated

But somehow plumbers, builders or electricians are seen as uneducated. Even truck drivers do an extremely important job in society. One week without them society collapse

I agree but most people don’t understand that or choose to not care anyway. A sad phenomenon

 

[hinters]

My mom always wants to set me up with a girl from back home, I remind her I'm 16.

 

[Deekhow]

One misconception about back home: people don't date/Shukansi!
I knew and was shukansing by age 14! As a kid you will probably be a wingman: an older guy sending you to call a lady for him or a girl asking you to chaperone her around the xafada. You would be exposed to shukansi and relationships way early.
EDUCATION or degree is not equal to more money. Anyone who lives in Canada cannot tell me that. Blue color workers are making bank! Especially those in the unions have better and more benefits. I don't know what people in SSPOT mean when they say educated(degrees).

 

[SPMLegend]

Did she think a husband was going to appear out of no where? Why is she blaming her parents when she is f7cking 27 years old!!
At this point she’s a cougar that wasted a good opportunity in marrying young.

she has 3 more years left before she exits the fresh market