How many Somali families have a present father?

[Abdi sensei]

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we can never cut our family off in Islam.

Holding grudges until the grave is bad spiritually, mentally and physically on our health.

my father been married 20+ years mashallah, he pulled me aside and said son I’m a man who loves you and our family , so don’t take it personal when I get a 2nd wife. I understood him right way , and I knew that would take time away form us but I could not blame him. He’s a hardworking man with testosterone desires and he can exercise his given right.

I never understood why cut someone off even if you dislike what they did... it’s always best to be cordial.

 

[Abdi sensei]

My sister lmaooo I actually know many Somalis with dead beat dad

my observation with an absent Somali father in west (uncommon but I have seen it)

Usually, the daughters tend to be wild and identify with black American culture. They don’t wear hijabs usually and are big social media users. If they don’t have any older brothers they are even more wild & promiscuous. However, I have seen good sisters come out from a fatherless household but they had many brothers.

 

[Niin]

I feel the same walal, I’m the only child of my moms remarriage but my siblings always like to show off how much of a deadbeat my dad is. It really fucks you up especially cause islamically we are meant to take care of them later on and respect them, really fucked up.

Am so sorry abayo! It did and occasionally messes me up. But what I tell myself is that I have my life to live and it’s his lost. He’s getting older and wants to start reaching out to us. I have resentment but I keep to myself. That’s why for the longest time I didn’t entertain guys especially Somalis guys because they would remind me of my dad( through mannerism) and to me that’s a red flag. Am not trying to be a single mother! Unfortunately, a lot of Somali men have made Somali women into single mothers. Sadly, I have been around a lot of trash men. My abo, uncle ( that’s a qabilist; he hates us because we’re gadabuursi and he’s Issa, my brother..) it fucks up with your perception of marriage. All I saw was struggle and I don’t want to struggle with a deadbeat man!

 

[Xoxoxo]

my observation with an absent Somali father in west (uncommon but I have seen it)

Usually, the daughters tend to be wild and identify with black American culture. They don’t wear hijabs usually and are big social media users. If they don’t have any older brothers they are even more wild & promiscuous. However, I have seen good sisters come out from a fatherless household but they had many brothers.

ohhh no we aren’t Americans lol. My mom did a pretty good job with bringing us up but I still prefer my dad over her because he’s open minded

 

[Angelina]

we can never cut our family off in Islam.

Holding grudges until the grave is bad spiritually, mentally and physically on our health.

my father been married 20+ years mashallah, he pulled me aside and said son I’m a man who loves you and our family , so don’t take it personal when I get a 2nd wife. I understood him right way , and I knew that would take time away form us but I could not blame him. He’s a hardworking man with testosterone desires and he can exercise his given right.

I never understood why cut someone off even if you dislike what they did... it’s always best to be cordial.

Men are meant to treat all wives equal and be around their families. Marrying again is no excuse to be away. Also, nothing worse than a man controlled by his desires to such an extent that he behaves selfishly. So whilst Somali mums are raising 4+ kids alone in a non Muslim land half of the year with the burden of single mothers, for what? The husband's sexual desires? Its not even halal for men to be away from family for more than 4 months, but do some Somalis even care. Sometimes I feel that Somali women don't have rights within their own marriages as men do things as they go along.

 

[Abdi sensei]

Men are meant to treat all wives equal and be around their families. Marrying again is no excuse to be away. Also, nothing worse than a man controlled by his desires to such an extent that he behaves selfishly. So whilst Somali mums are raising 4+ kids alone in a non Muslim land half of the year with the burden of single mothers, for what? The husband's sexual desires? Its not even halal for men to be away from family for more than 4 months, but do some Somalis even care. Sometimes I feel that Somali women don't have rights within their own marriages as men do things as they go along.

no you are right on the point of treating all wives equally. I will admit many brothers do not do this , which I always warn them, that is a good point.

it’s probably not something I think I can handle Justly (my ego aside) so I am careful warning brothers (even my dad I did)

 

[Onyxbrainster]

Men are meant to treat all wives equal and be around their families. Marrying again is no excuse to be away. Also, nothing worse than a man controlled by his desires to such an extent that he behaves selfishly. So whilst Somali mums are raising 4+ kids alone in a non Muslim land half of the year with the burden of single mothers, for what? The husband's sexual desires? Its not even halal for men to be away from family for more than 4 months, but do some Somalis even care. Sometimes I feel that Somali women don't have rights within their own marriages as men do things as they go along.

You are 100% right not sure why these dads be just leaving and never visiting the first family ever again after having the 2nd. Polygamy is allowed, but it shouldn’t be done if you cannot fulfill the rights of all your wives. It becomes a sin at that point.

and this is just my take, but I don’t understand why somalis don’t practice family planning and having less kids if they don’t want sexual issues in the marriage. You obviously are going to struggle to have sex frequently if you and your wife have 6+ f** kids. And I also think a major issue is a lot of Somali wives don’t satisfy the sexual needs of their husbands cause let’s be honest why would a man leave you if you are doing it right.