Ilhan Omar ex husband new family is beautiful
- Thread starter TekNiKo
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I luv how Somalis have come so far- now they are interviewing, and having an exclusive chat via Western style. We have come a long from camel - waist resting pose mess
If we shouldn't listen to the scholars then who? Should we listen to you? What rights are being taken away? Women's right made up by who? Or our Allah given rights in Islam? I have to remind people like you that there is nothing stopping you or any female from becoming a scholar. Nothing is stopping you from memorizing the quran, reading the tafsiir, reading the ahadith. My favorite sahabi is Aisha Radiyallahu Anha. Why? Because she is a rolemodel for every female. When I talk about what kind of wife I want? I picture an Aisha, a modest female, a knowledgeable female who I don't have to remind but have to be reminded. The reason why people like you don't want to study the faith is because it will prove you wrong. It will change your mindset.
No. He is actually a Muslim. That is thumbs up. May Allah guide her and her family.
Thats just a personal no no. I wouldn't want my kids to be with my ex wife if she marries another male.
in Islam when you marry a women you become mahram to her daughters
Yep, that is a personal preference.
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I think their is alot to unpack in this topic, I know a man becomes mahram to his wifes daughters when he gets married,
but in our current day and age their are some people who say their is data to show children with step parents have a steep increase in sexual assualt cases, having your young daughter around a strange man would be a concern for most parents. Now their are multiple factors effected this, but the main one is thetype of man your ex-wife marries, if he is going to be around your daughter, you would like to know who this man is, also if you trust your ex-wife enough to make a good decision when marrying a man
From the research I have seen their are conflicting views, and this article states https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stepchildren-family-parents-abuse-0409132 that having a step parent doesn't increase a childs sexual abuse rate at all, rather it is based on socioeconomic factors.
If a women marries a good normal man, then she should be completely fine, Islam tells us the reality of the situation, and if marrying a women makes her daughters mahram to you, then it should be fine. If a extreme situation happens where the wife or former husband is suspicious of the step-parent, and showing signs they may be abusing the child, then this rule will be overid as the man is sick in the heart. It is a genuine concern for alot of men to be protective over theur daughters, and alot of the time women can not see the warning signs of a predatory man compared to another man.
That being said, we live in a sick society, where even own family members abuse children, so it shouldn't be just in the case the step-parents to worry about but everyone. Their are alot of predators out their and it is always good to be careful, but if the man is a good man, you shouldn't worry too much, especialy if you trust your ex-wife
Some articles which discuss this
Child abuse is 40 times more likely when single parents find new partners
Here are three steps to protect the children
www.phillyvoice.com
I heard stories aren't really good enouhg for this topic, I know people who were raped by fmaily members. Unless your telling me you know the guy and he was a completely normal guy, this can't be used as evidence ot scaremonger people
I agree, I can see it would be a worry for any man. But the issue is that kids usually spend more time with their female parent. Hence, If the father takes custody, they will not spend that much time with their fathers. It would be a step-mother raising them. Do you think a child will get the mercy of a mother from a woman who didn’t birth them? Early classical scholars realized that, which is why they believed that a grandmother should step in before the father. Whilst grandmothers didn’t birth the child, they’re a second mother, the closest to a hooyo. There are no Hadiths that say grandmothers get more of a right than fathers, but it is the basic knowledge that children need a mother figure more when they’re at a certain age.
Whilst, sexual abuse is less common with women, that doesn’t mean physical abuse and emotional abuse wouldn’t be an issue and also with step-mothers, kids tend to be a lot more dysfunctional without their mothers because let’s face it, it’s women that is the primary caregivers and a mothers mercy isn’t the same as a father.
Also, what doesn’t make sense to me, is that many men have issue with women having careers because ‘kids need their mother’, but once divorce hits, all of a sudden they want to separate a mother from her child completely.
How does that make sense? Either women are more suited to be the
parent or they’re not, how does a divorce change that?
Really, it is up to the father. If a father goes to an Islamic courts, upon hearing the mother has re-married, he can petition the courts and he will be the one that gets custody according to Salafis and some Hanbalis and other madhabs say that the kids would straight to the grandmother if they’re younger.
Honestly, only a minority of mothers. Seriously, a woman is more obsessed with her kids than a father. Allah has given a natural intuition when it comes to their child. The instinct a mother has isn’t what a man has usually. Also, kids do get abused by uncles and cousins right under the nose of BOTH parents with the abo around, so I wouldn’t put it down to that. It’s sickening when you see how many children are abused by male relatives and the father has no clue as well.
You hit the nail on the head. Even uncles can be a worry and that is a family blood Mahram. The sibling of the mum or dad and there are a lot of cases. Scary Wallahi.
My overall point, even if the father has custody he would still need to get to know the step father as obviously, the mother will have visitation rights and the kids will be able to stay with her. He can’t stop a child from seeing their own mother so he will still have do his due diligence.Some articles which discuss this
Child abuse is 40 times more likely when single parents find new partners
Here are three steps to protect the children
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YH my point wasn't about time, I think the child should always spend more time with the mother, and depending on how old they are, if the husband is remarried, the child may be able to readjust to having a step parent, and the timings will differ, but this isnt a black and white topic, it is a grey area, everyone has their own life dynamics, their isn't one answer in terms of timing.
Let’s not be too dramatic. We don’t know if he has the kids on the weekends and if Ilhan and him have an understanding in place as to how involved the step-father can be.
At the end of the day, it’s the mother that does all the day to day nurturing and raising not many men are willing to take all of that on. Usually, it’s left to the step-mother.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
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His kids are mostly grown enough, I would understand if the kids were under 10 year olds but they aren’t. I know fathers who took the oldest kids or the sons, he could have done that.
At that age, kids can choose tbh. They’re able to voice their preferences.
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