Jamaican farther abandoned his children for 18 years

[madaxweyne]

The state of the Somali diaspora screams otherwise. My dad was in my life but I’m intelligent enough to see I was fortunate.

Things were so dismal in my area that they set up an association to try and motivate fathers to raise their kids. It’s changing for the younger ones but it’s not the case for the older men.

i cant debate with you bro you just admitted your dad was with you in your life

 

[Angelina]

The fact that khat was the extent of their addiction is a miracle wallahi. If I saw my relatives get massacred and butchered in the streets I'd be railing likes of coke first thing in the morning and washing it down with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Few of the cadaan I knew in school went to Afghan, they became back FUCKED UP beyond repair.

It's no excuse but have a little sympathy wallahi. Imagine graduating with a 1st in Chemical Engineering and having to work in a warehouse or as delivery driver, I'd feel so dejected and humiliated. I don't think guys from our generation could hack it.

When children come into the picture? Yes you can. Unless you're selfish and only live for yourself.

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[Amirah]

We're bad, but we're not Jamaican bad walal

You realise there's probably a lot of undiagnosed PTSD floating around in our community don't you? You're comparing men who had to flee their war-torn nation to yardies who just don't like wearing condoms lol. It's no excuse for their behaviour, but as far as excuses go it's pretty good one

Bad is bad walal mcn. It’s like saying HIV is bad but not as bad AIDS, well that’s true but guess what? If you don’t treat HIV ASAP it progresses to AIDS. Although absent fathers aren’t as bad in our community as Jamaicans, the reality is if we don’t make significant changes soon in just decade or two we will be the new Jamaicans. We’re already halfway there...acknowledging a problem is the start to a solution.

Also, you right we have trauma from the war, but trauma isn’t exclusive to the men. Why is that Somali women don’t take off and use trauma as an excuse to abandon their children but the men can? I reckon hundreds of years of slavery and generational racism results in even more severe types of trauma and mental illness. So how can we use our 30 year old war to excuse our failures but can’t even extend that same courtesy to jaimicans/AA?

@elite1337 @Jaydaan @madaxweyne @Marshall D Abdi

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

wow i keep forgetting about that. so much trauma and ptsd within the 1st generation

Sxb our generation would crumble and become smackheads if we had to live through the same horrors.

When children come into the picture? Yes you can. Unless you're selfish and only live for yourself.

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[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Bad is bad walal mcn. It’s like saying HIV is bad but not as bad AIDS, well that’s true but guess what? If you don’t treat HIV ASAP it progresses to AIDS. Although absent fathers aren’t as bad in our community as Jamaicans, the reality is if we don’t make significant changes soon in just decade or two we will be the new Jamaicans. We’re already halfway there...acknowledging a problem is the start to a solution.

Also, you right we have trauma from the war, but trauma isn’t exclusive to the men. Why is that Somali women don’t take off and use trauma as an excuse to abandon their children but the men can? I reckon hundreds of years of slavery and generational racism results in even more severe types of trauma and mental illness. So how can we use our 30 year old war to excuse our failures but can’t even extend that same courtesy to jaimicans/AA?

@elite1337 @Jaydaan @madaxweyne @Marshall D Abdi

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[Sophisticate]

I have met significantly more Somalis from two-parent families than them. This abandonment culture is not endemic to us. And I'd wager to say most of the Somalis I know have their fathers in their lives, I think we should acknowledge that some Somalis cheaply marry and divorce (with little care to the children they leave behind). And that these Somalis do not represent the mainstream Somalis. We should also say that just because a Somali man is a rolling stone and irresponsible parent does not make this phenomena widespread.

We should also outline that yes some Somalis have family backgrounds where divorce was involved but these children were born in a halaal manner. We cannot compare that to an out-of-wedlock birth with a father that was totally out of the picture.

 

[Stark]

kids don't know what they're talkin about.