Marriage is a significant life decision, but its success depends chiefly on who you marry and that is often tantamount to shooting in the dark. Even with due diligence, people can hide their true nature, making it difficult to know if someone is emotionally mature, free of addictions, a strong communicator, and emotionally healthy. When those qualities are lacking, the relationship is bound to suffer.
It’s also important to recognize that marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness or fulfillment. You can be married yet feel lonely. You can end up with someone who has narcissistic tendencies that don’t reveal themselves immediately. If you’ve experienced gaslighting, double standards, and double binds, you’ll understand how damaging that dynamic can be. Marriage to a partner with those traits is problematic, and it’s crucial to remember that you can’t change them; only yourself.
Coercive control, another hidden danger, can take many forms: financial, emotional, or psychological abuse. Not just physical. But it could become physical and in some instances deadly. These forms of manipulation are often subtle and can escalate over time. People who end up in such relationships are often blamed for being deceived, but I don’t buy that excuse. Deception can happen to anyone, especially when the perpetrator is skilled at masking their true intentions.
On another note, reproductive health often gets overlooked in conversations about marriage and parenthood. A man’s preconception health matters just as much as a woman’s. Low-quality sperm can lead to genetic disorders, complications such as preeclampsia, miscarriages, and other pregnancy-related issues. Yet, most men don’t take this seriously. They rarely monitor their health or lifestyle choices, even though their contribution is critical to a healthy pregnancy and offspring quality.
