Marriage

[Baarisiyomoos]

I would rather you do that than get with a guy who will only use you as a sexual outlet and quickly divorce like a lot of marriages.

no I’m looking for my Prince Charming I’ll have my dad vet him

 

[Yaraye]

no I’m looking for my Prince Charming I’ll have my dad vet him

Abaayo, marriage and kids are burdensome wallahi. Personally idk why a woman wants to torturer herself with those 2 things. If i was wealthy, I'd never get married or have kids

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

Abaayo, marriage and kids are burdensome wallahi. Personally idk why a woman wants to torturer herself with those 2 things. If i was wealthy, I'd never get married or have kids

abaayo do you not want cute little babies to watch grow up if you were a millionaire you wouldn’t get married? you wouldn’t miss companionship?

 

[romanzolanski]

toronto somali males are not marriage material
I wouldn't even bother wasting my time with them

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

toronto somali males are not marriage material
I wouldn't even bother wasting my time with them

what diaspora is better it’s a struggle

 

[romanzolanski]

what diaspora is better it’s a struggle

Norway(sometimes), Switzerland, UAE/the gulf region, USA(Minnesota, San Diego, Ohio, Seattle excluded) and sometimes but rarely the UK is where all the handsome high value somali men are

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

Norway(sometimes), Switzerland, UAE/the gulf region, USA(Minnesota, San Diego, Ohio, Seattle excluded) and sometimes but rarely the UK is where all the handsome high value somali men are

Need to find myself a well off saudi farah

 

[Kalsoon]

Focus on school abaayo.

Dont listen to this "you have to be proactive" bs. Take it from me, I've had guys pursuing me since grade 12 and somehow it never comes to fruition and my friend was like you. She never dated or talked to men. Yet, she got married after we graduated to the first ever guy she talked to. They met on facebook. Everything went smooth for them mashallah. No broken promises, no lies, no heartache..

You can't rush calaf.

It’s qadr of Allah. Waa ka xumahay that you met a bunch of unserious men while she met a man with a desire to be a husband and have his own family.

Too many men chase women for fun only while a women might be looking for commitment. So much unnecessary wasted time and energy!


@Baarisiyomoos My perspective is be in the middle of actively seeking and socially isolating yourself. Find that middle ground. Seek to understand yourself first as in your reasoning for seeking marriage and your long term goals. Remember, we all have our own timelines for doing things. Prepare yourself to be a wife and a mother. Learn some things that you can improve about yourself and spend time on bettering yourself. Increase your Islamic knowledge and gain useful worldly knowledge that will make your life better overall. Ilaahay isku xir si dhab ah.

Someone (could even be a relative/friend/coworker) around you will notice how spectacular of a lady you are. If that doesn’t happen, make things happen for yourself by voicing your feelings (vulnerability is good) on being married to your closest and most trusted people. Then, they can advise you and possibly find eligible suitors on your behalf. Sometimes though, they can unknowingly connect you to really bad folks so be wise and use istikhaarah iyo your gut feeling. Then, choose the one who has the qualities you are seeking for a fruitful marriage and happy life.

I saw someone say have a welcoming face-while good advice, it can attract predatory types as they see it as a person being naive and easily manipulated. Be welcoming but not too much if that makes sense. You don’t want to end up getting played because you wish to be married very much.

I agree with you too. Some of our parents really dropped the ball when it comes to helping prepare their kids for marriage. In shaa Allah, we do better.

 

[Hodan from HR]

It’s qadr of Allah. Waa ka xumahay that you met a bunch of unserious men while she met a man with a desire to be a husband and have his own family.

Thank you macaanto

Perhaps, God wants me to reflect and learn from these experiences so I can be my best version, marriage come.

Too many men chase women for fun only while a women might be looking for commitment. So much unnecessary wasted time and energy!

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Ozymandias]

Thank you macaanto

Perhaps, God wants me to reflect and learn from these experiences so I can be my best version, marriage come.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

You're a good gabadh, don't think about it too much

 

[Ozymandias]

If I ever was to get married, it would be around 6 years time and she would be age appropriate 28 - 33, and I wouldn't care if she wasn't a virgin as long as we complemented each other

 

[empressjamila]

You’re 19 looking to get married? Damn lol

In that case you should probably look for a man a bit older, like mid 20’s. Ask your parents or friends if they know anybody.

A man your age is not ready to be a husband yet they’re too immature. That’s why all those super young marriages never last

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

It’s qadr of Allah. Waa ka xumahay that you met a bunch of unserious men while she met a man with a desire to be a husband and have his own family.

Too many men chase women for fun only while a women might be looking for commitment. So much unnecessary wasted time and energy!


@Baarisiyomoos My perspective is be in the middle of actively seeking and socially isolating yourself. Find that middle ground. Seek to understand yourself first as in your reasoning for seeking marriage and your long term goals. Remember, we all have our own timelines for doing things. Prepare yourself to be a wife and a mother. Learn some things that you can improve about yourself and spend time on bettering yourself. Increase your Islamic knowledge and gain useful worldly knowledge that will make your life better overall. Ilaahay isku xir si dhab ah.

Someone (could even be a relative/friend/coworker) around you will notice how spectacular of a lady you are. If that doesn’t happen, make things happen for yourself by voicing your feelings (vulnerability is good) on being married to your closest and most trusted people. Then, they can advise you and possibly find eligible suitors on your behalf. Sometimes though, they can unknowingly connect you to really bad folks so be wise and use istikhaarah iyo your gut feeling. Then, choose the one who has the qualities you are seeking for a fruitful marriage and happy life.

I saw someone say have a welcoming face-while good advice, it can attract predatory types as they see it as a person being naive and easily manipulated. Be welcoming but not too much if that makes sense. You don’t want to end up getting played because you wish to be married very much.

I agree with you too. Some of our parents really dropped the ball when it comes to helping prepare their kids for marriage. In shaa Allah, we do better.

Thank you for the great advice walaal, I really appreciate it. I Will work on becoming the type of person a good man would want to marry, and a good mother. You’re right everything is qadr of Allah, i will be patient.

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

You’re 19 looking to get married? Damn lol

In that case you should probably look for a man a bit older, like mid 20’s. Ask your parents or friends if they know anybody.

A man your age is not ready to be a husband yet they’re too immature. That’s why all those super young marriages never last

i don’t want to get married before graduating, I just want to see my options now. Preferably I’d like a guy my age. I guess I just feel rushed for some reason

 

[empressjamila]

i don’t want to get married before graduating, I just want to see my options now. Preferably I’d like a guy my age. I guess I just feel rushed for some reason

You shouldn’t feel rushed walalo you have a lot of time.

Yes it’s ideal to meet your husband in uni and grow together, but the problem is that you might waste a lot of time waiting for a man your age to get his act together and his lacaag right before you marry.

For now it’s best to focus on your studies and make dua that Allah swt sends you a good husband

 

[Ozymandias]

I apologise.

 

[Mj4L]

You’re 19 looking to get married? Damn lol

In that case you should probably look for a man a bit older, like mid 20’s. Ask your parents or friends if they know anybody.

A man your age is not ready to be a husband yet they’re too immature. That’s why all those super young marriages never last

19 is brown lol how old are you if you see that to be young?

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

19 is brown lol how old are you if you see that to be young?

how old are you

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

You shouldn’t feel rushed walalo you have a lot of time.

Yes it’s ideal to meet your husband in uni and grow together, but the problem is that you might waste a lot of time waiting for a man your age to get his act together and his lacaag right before you marry.

For now it’s best to focus on your studies and make dua that Allah swt sends you a good husband

thanks abaayo I will pray istikhara and be patient

 

[cooli3o]

19 is brown lol how old are you if you see that to be young?

19 is a baby. Anyone who says else is below the age of 20