Post from a Somali Social Worker on r/Somalia

[Aurelian]

 

[LilBang]

Hey LilBang,

I have touched a nerve with my posts. Thumb-downing my posts won't lift you out from the ghetto cursed life you ended up with by not listening to your parents. You are an exihibt A of what happens when a kid doesn't listen to their honest Somali parents.

I hope you get arrested while you sell drugs on the corner store at Cedar.

What a dumbass nigga you are, I was obviously trolling with the qashins I was giving you and you dont even know who I really am outside of the internet

1: I was never raised in some ghetto area, I grew up in a lower middle class townhouse neighborhood
2: I do listen to my parents very well
3: I never lived in Cedar/Minneapolis/Minnesota nor have I been there my whole entire life (Im from Seattle btw)
4: I’ve never fcking sold drugs nor have I caused trouble nor have I ever gotten into any legal troubles smh

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

What a dumbass nigga you are, I was obviously trolling with the qashins I was giving you and you dont even know who I really am outside of the internet

1: I was never raised in some ghetto area, I grew up in a lower middle class townhouse neighborhood
2: I do listen to my parents very well
3: I never lived in Cedar/Minneapolis/Minnesota nor have I been there my whole entire life (Im from Seattle btw)
4: I’ve never fcking sold drugs nor have I caused trouble nor have I ever gotten into any legal troubles smh

Abti, you are good in my book then. I support all good kids who respect their community and their parents.

Don't contribute to the hate and lies aimed at somalis. Fight them like a son of Somali. My parents are dead but I cherish my cultural heritage and nothing on this world and no country is worth a trade for the gift given to me by God. Allah created both the Somali Ethnicity and Somali language, that fact alone puts both the language and The Ethnicity in a rank of their own.

We shouldn't let other human beings disprespect us. And any somali who partakes in the campaign by racists deserves harsh treatment like they enemy they sided with.

Every community and ethnicity has its boatload of issues, and Somalis and Somalia are no different. Imperfections in a society aren't a license to hate or denegrate said society. We are still a nation of poets, prestige and good cultural heritage that goes back thousands of years.

 

[Idilinaa]

Somali women actually face higher levels of unemployment in the formal sector of the economy and the private sector which are usually dominated by men in Somalia.

Where they are the main drivers is in the informal mico sector where they usually become street vendors selling fruits , vegetables like in that video and even sell khat in places like Hargeisa but its mostly seen as a coping mechanism and there is greater drive and push for them to work more in the private sector and the larger formal sector and usually led by female diaspora arrivals.

But in general unemployment levels in Hargeisa is the highest in Somalia , higher than in Puntland and Mogadishu of 20% and 30% vs 75% in Hargeisa. There are more youth that are unemployed than there are adult. Only 15% of adults are unemployed compared with 30/20% of youth.

And it's not better for graduates either , this is partly reason why back a few years ago there were many youth tahribers were from Somaliland because the lack of job oppurtunities they faced.

I am not really sure what they have done in Hargeisa to address this but in Mogadishu they launched job placement schemes and even ones for female graduates

Somalia: Job Placement Scheme for Female Graduates Launched in Mogadishu​

https://allafrica.com/stories/201505140162.html

According to baseline survey results released during the launching ceremony held at Jazeera Hotel, Mogadishu, women employment is relatively very low in the private sector. Among the industries

The true female economic empowerment is when there is higher corporate participation and political participation and decision making.

But in general they need to attract more investments and more job creation, to widen the scarce job market.

 

[Idilinaa]

Same old idiots and losers reposting the same tired and tried lies about their own community. There is nothing but garbage coming from some posters here who change usernames then repost the same trash talk about somalis.

They are mentally sick and lost. This year is like the 10th year plus they are posting the same shit again and again.

It's because they hear slander and complaints by disgruntled individuals in their gender war antics on the web and trying to lend credibility to it in their weaponization against Somalis or they are trying to establish false correlation between Somali and Black Americans , who btw have their own cultural and structural barriers and problems specific to their own community.

Contrary to what @Kisame is spewing, the main problem social workers face with Somali parents is language barriers and outside of that Somali parents are highly cooperative, respectful and keen/open on improving their children's development.

That's why Somali youth are able to raise their educational attainment levels significantly that they end up doing better than native communities in a span of few years.

Higher Ground Academy compared to the state average:

Math
Reading
Science

Ubah Medical Academy compared to the state average:
Math
Reading
Science

It's not just Lambeth. The stats i showed above it was for Somalis in London schools in general which includes Camden and Tower Hamlet.

Between 2007 and 2013 Somalis were already outperforming white british pupils.

Between 2013-2015 they were outperforming the national average

You can also see this as a trend for Somalis in different parts of the UK outside of London, that they are just outperforming other groups.

Success Starts in the Classroom for Somalis in Leicester​

Speaking the Language of Success

One of the largest Somali communities in the UK finds that early investments in education, such as bilingual teachers and active parental involvement, are paying off.

www.opensocietyfoundations.org

When you make replies to my posts and is completely uninterested in the major improvements Somalis have made all you do is expose yourselves. And the motives behind these threads yall rinse.




This is true, Somalis and other east Africans who speak their mother tongue at home are outpeforming English speaking natives in Seattle for example.

It shows that dual-lingualism is not a significant educational barrier.

This can't happen with piss poor neglectful parents, but only if they value education and cooperate with educators and are involved.
As the studies stress:

Somali parents are actually mostly good parents that go out of their way for their children and make many sacrifices along the way. If they do face hardships they aren't awarded any sympathy like you can see on this thread and despite that they press on-wards. To me it's very inspiring and commendable.

 

[Angelina]

As usual the other side of the problem is never discussed and it's just bashing the Fathers.

Single motherhood is at epidemic levels in the WEST not the EAST or the SOUTH

The part of the story that is ignored is that in many cases these are toxic women who destroyed their own homes over nothing then used the children as weapons against the Father, especially in the critical early years were bonding is crucial.

Even that poor social worker sent to HELP THEM was not SAFE from the VITRIOL OF THESE SINGLE MOTHERS, asking that poor GIRL SHAMELESS Questions about her qabiil and refusing to cooperate with her and get help.

When a trained social worker who is paid, has state resources and genuinely wants to help can't get through to these homewreckers, what chance does a Father have ?

I have been in meetings were Fathers on the verge of going crazy over it, got saved by the tribe pooling money together and sending that poor sod back to third world Somalia to set up a new family to sooth his pain, but decades later when the inevitable happens he is blamed for it.

This is the height of degeneracy. You’re okaying men abandoning their children because they’re no longer with the mother of their children. It’s a fact that most Somali women who are divorced do not get restraining orders unless there has been a huge case of DV. I know of one such woman and it was the community that helped her as he broke her bones. Women who Willy nilly take out restraining orders in our community are a tiny minority, men who leave their children are normalized, even married men do it under the guise of building and business but would be away for years and start a new family. You probably think such a marriage is a success story because they’re not ‘divorced’.

Just the other day Xaalimo was begging the husband she kicked out decade ago and humiliated by calling the cops on him even getting a restraining order against him, to save their son who was looking at getting 10 years which he did.

That same women is now advising countless other dumb younger Xaalimo who want to thread that same shameless path warning them about cutting the Father of the children, especially in the early years which is critical for bonding.

That Xaalimo is doing a rare thing unusual with Xaalimos, helping other xaalimos from making the same homewrecking mistakes she did.

But people don't see this, what they see is an absent Father DECADES later after the crime took place and the Xaalimo paying a heavy price for it, caasi son, loose daughter, and devastating workload, and without historical context the masses blame the Father.

The masses blame the father because such a case is a minority situation and you know it. You know that most women especially boomers and Gen X which you’re clearly referring to since you’re alluding to older children don’t take out restraining orders. They don’t even register their marriages, don’t file for child support and don’t even go near courts. What a dishonest man you are Authobillah. This is what women hating does to someone, they turn into a low IQ illogical mess who spews anything. One minute Boomer women are victims and it’s actually millenial women and the next minute you concoct stories of boomer women who can’t even read their letters without someone translating for them en-masse taking out restraining orders

But the reality is that these are punishments for their crimes in dunya, Allah does not wrong his slaves, this is a fundamental principle repeated many times in Quran THAT HE DOES NOT WRONG HIS SLAVES, but these people wrong themselves and cry when they pay the price for it.

The few Xaalimos that didn't do those shenanigans after divorce don't suffer from the same issues, what goes around comes back around.

Few? You’re a liar to suggest that most Somali women take out restraining orders. Authobillah.

The tough pill people refuse to swallow is that we as a community have the worst WOMEN in the DIASPORA, even the reverts from white to black who married our Xaalimos in big numbers suffer the fate we do and have the same complaints, it's a common theme now.

For me the most humiliating stories were Arabs and Algerians in masjids seeing how shameless our women are, the famous black bin bag was placed at a masjids for the Somali Imam shocking everyone.

Just in another thread you were saying that Gen X and boomer women aren’t that bad and that’s its Millennials but the ‘black bag’ fiasco was happening in the 90s and early 2000s and was in fact our parents generation. Again, you lack any form of consistency. What’s consistent is your hatred of your own women. If you’re not insulting millennials or Gen Z and it’s now older women who had to deal with unemployed men who married second wives with hardly any income.

They regard our women so lowly, they pimp them out to any revert that embraces Islam, why because these Xaalimos have destroyed their own communities and emasculated their men.


Sheikh Khalid Yasin has a famous clip that went viral years ago about Xaalimos which the Xaalimos saw as praise but in reality it was deep humiliation they are unable to understand due to their shamelessness and lack of discernment.

Khalid Yasin was clearly talking about trad Somali women, in which in another thread you were praising their tenacity. Western Somali raised women don’t have that internal fiery nature and gumption that is honed by women raised in Somalia. Again, you’re an illogical and inconsistent mess.

Remember a good wife can easily transform a bad husband and make him better, but vice versa ITS IMPOSSIBLE especially in the WEST.

The Hadith is very explicit about one of the greatest joys and rizq a man can have in this world is a Righteous GOOD WIFE, the opposite holds true also, and we have an abundance of bad, loud, shameless women who are predisposed to emasculating their husbands.

This is probably the wildest and illogical rant I’ve read. How can a good wife transform a bad husband if the man is meant to be the leader? Why is it halal for a man to marry a gaal Christian but not the other way around? Even the deen showcases that a woman is more influenced by her husband than the other way around.

1. This is the issue with misogyny, it’s illogical. You place men in a position of being easily molded and led whilst advocating for the husband to be the leader.

2. One moment you place all the issues with millenial women but also place all the blame on Gen X and Boomer woman whilst saying they weren’t the issue in another thread .

3. In one thread you say that Somali women back home are resilient and tenacious but say it’s an insult when Khalid Yasin clearly talking about trad Somali women since the ones raised in the West have softer personalities.

4. At this rate you’ll say anything and hope it sticks. It’s embarrassing, do better than this and learn to be intellectually consistent but the issue is that you can’t. Misogyny only works when the goal post is successfully shifted.

 

[Angelina]

@Inquisitive_

You’ve shown you’re incredibly dishonest when it comes to the discourse on divorce. Even back home in which women are utterly powerless financially, divorce is incredibly high. You said this isn’t an issue in the East, yet it is, even more so than the West in which it isn’t unusual to see a girl of 23 married 2 times already.

Divorce isn’t a Western concept or a new phenomenon amongst Somalis. Anyone interested in the history of Somalis will tell you that divorce was also incredibly high a century ago.

Hence here are the facts:

1. Divorce is high in Somalia despite being a trad society.

2. Divorce was high even a century ago despite society being even more trad and patriarchal.

3. Divorce is high in the West amongst Somalis as well.

So seeing that the divorce rates are high even when the men are fully in charge in a traditional Somali society, please explain to me in a logical fashion how the fault can purely be at the feet of the women?


What this discourse actually shows is that even when men are fully in charge in a very traditional Somali setting, Somali women will still end up as single mothers in record numbers but in an even more compromised situation battling poverty and their children being ripped from them and having to remarry. That’s what I find ironic about your posts. I hope the irony isn’t lost on you.

If the West is so bad for Somali women and Somali unions, why is the ordeal for women back home even more bleak @Inquisitive_?

Accept the reality. Somalis are traditionally nomadic group in which polygyny and unstable marriages and over reliance on extended family to help with parenting was the norm. Divorce was incredibly normalized and even foreigners noticed how easy it was for the Somali male to get rid of and replace wives. Women would usually remarry and the kids would be taken by the in-laws or her own mother. The nuclear family which is the norm in the West was not the norm amongst Somalis.Men being domesticated and expected to take the kids to school, be present wasn’t the norm for traditional Somali men and being forced into that in the West In which a woman cannot rely on the women in an extended family obviously took its toil on boomers and Gen X and I can imagine a lot of Millennial men not seeing a father actually parent also has its drawbacks.

Even now back home when you see the marriages of those back home, it’s evident to see where the disconnect lies. Men are hardly ever present. The will leave early in the morning and come home after Maghrib Salah regardless of if the husband works and the women will do everything and would rely on other women in the extended family and neighbors. That model will never work in the West and it’s a fact that this is what Somali men have tried to recreate in a society in which women don’t even have their family or tribal members next door.

Accept the truth, it will free you.

 

[Riftvalley]

@Inquisitive_

You’ve shown you’re incredibly dishonest when it comes to the discourse on divorce. Even back home in which women are utterly powerless financially, divorce is incredibly high. You said this isn’t an issue in the East, yet it is, even more so than the West in which it isn’t unusual to see a girl of 23 married 2 times already.

Divorce isn’t a Western concept or a new phenomenon amongst Somalis. Anyone interested in the history of Somalis will tell you that divorce was also incredibly high a century ago.

Hence here are the facts:

1. Divorce is high in Somalia despite being a trad society.

2. Divorce was high even a century ago despite society being even more trad and patriarchal.

3. Divorce is high in the West amongst Somalis as well.

So seeing that the divorce rates are high even when the men are fully in charge in a traditional Somali society, please explain to me in a logical fashion how the fault can purely be at the feet of the women?


What this discourse actually shows is that even when men are fully in charge in a very traditional Somali setting, Somali women will still end up as single mothers in record numbers but in an even more compromised situation battling poverty and their children being ripped from them and having to remarry. That’s what I find ironic about your posts. I hope the irony isn’t lost on you.

If the West is so bad for Somali women and Somali unions, why is the ordeal for women back home even more bleak @Inquisitive_?

Accept the reality. Somalis are traditionally nomadic group in which polygyny and unstable marriages and over reliance on extended family to help with parenting was the norm. Divorce was incredibly normalized and even foreigners noticed how easy it was for the Somali male to get rid of and replace wives. Women would usually remarry and the kids would be taken by the in-laws or her own mother. The nuclear family which is the norm in the West was not the norm amongst Somalis.Men being domesticated and expected to take the kids to school, be present wasn’t the norm for traditional Somali men and being forced into that in the West In which a woman cannot rely on the women in an extended family obviously took its toil on boomers and Gen X and I can imagine a lot of Millennial men not seeing a father actually parent also has its drawbacks.

Even now back home when you see the marriages of those back home, it’s evident to see where the disconnect lies. Men are hardly ever present. The will leave early in the morning and come home after Maghrib Salah regardless of if the husband works and the women will do everything and would rely on other women in the extended family and neighbors. That model will never work in the West and it’s a fact that this is what Somali men have tried to recreate in a society in which women don’t even have their family or tribal members next door.

Accept the truth, it will free you.

Culturally, some see the man being absent from the home for most of the day as an expression of masculinity and a badge of honour. My family use to live next to this Somali guy in the uk and some of the people use to backbite him for spending most of the weekend with the family rather than spending the entire weekend at a cafeteria. They would say he was being controlled by his wife. Interestingly, he grew up in an Arab country.

 

[Angelina]

Culturally, some see the man being absent from the home for most of the day as an expression of masculinity and a badge of honour. My family use to live next to this Somali guy in the uk and some of the people use to backbite him for spending most of the weekend with the family rather than spending the entire weekend at a cafeteria. They would say he was being controlled by his wife. Interestingly, he grew up in an Arab country.

It’s the norm back home. I go back home a lot and the husbands are away the whole day whether they work or not. They will come after Maghrib, be given their dinner, they’ll put the bill for the house on the table, say hi to their kids and then go to sleep. Women are helped by their extended family. Men who go shopping for the family particularly to buy vegetables are mocked, it might just be something I saw in Xamar and maybe other regions are different.

Whilst there are saw dozens of women who haven’t even reached 25 divorced getting ready for their next marriage or married already. I probably saw more young divorced people there than the West but the difference is that remarriage is high and often many women will leave the kids with grandparents to start over. I have women in my family raising their kids kids because daughter remarried. No word of a lie.

Somalis aren’t a group who are used to the nuclear set up which has proven detrimental in the West since women aren’t next door neighbors to relatives, clan members and the like.

Furthermore, I’ve read a few books on Somalis and most noted that divorce rates were high as well. I have grandparent, great aunts who were divorced. I have women in my family who remarried and had their kids taken away and the list continues. To suggest this is a Western Somali issue is incredibly dishonest.

How about we actually be honest about our nomadic roots and accept its anti-nuclear family and that’s what Somali boomers and Gen X struggled with and that current young Somalis are struggling with that legacy.