Odious Delirium
VIP
Ok you said you used to be like that what's an example you can give of how you were a pick me and are there women around you who are still pick mes?
Qoyans aka somali women
- Thread starter KinsiHilaac
- Start date
KinsiHilaac
Pretend there is a title here
it does have a standard meaning tho idk why you´re out here calling anything humiliating you see "Pick me"
Didnt say anything humilating is a pick me but okay.
KinsiHilaac
Pretend there is a title here
So at times when i used to be a pick me i was sort of. Okay, there is something called feminist awakening, and that´s when you suddenly gain awareness of the sexist social biases around you, it could be a simple thing like someone calling a 27 year old woman for a ´girl``which really is socially acceptable, and once youre in your pick me phase you do not notice this
It´s normal to you. But this contributes to the infantilization of women in the long run
But once you decide to carefully sit back and dissect these moments and linguistics, you realize, damn. There is so much hidden sexism around the world, which most dont notice, because that´s the only way theyve been taught to be since childhood
Examples of hidden sexism which I thought were okay are:
***Women not having much media presence because of the notion that what a woman says more likely is just nagging or too emotional , which results in women´s words not being taken seriously
***The act of calling women temptresses and making them feel guilty of something they cant control and in a bad case scenario justifying assaults based on this assumption that women are temptresses
***The notion that women are naturally more soft and nurturing and a man is agressive and combative, which in the long run leads to women being in an emotionally vulnerable position under the men and more women being harmed by men.
In all practicality this happens because the boy gets socially conditioned to be violent from childhood by being gifted weapons, guns and racing cars, which teaches him hostility, competition and materialism from the start while the girl gets a doll and a kitchen, which teaches her the act of service pretty fast and basically preparing her for what will be her " role" as a woman. This in turn creates an unequal power dynamic between women and men in a relationship where the woman continously walks on egg shells to not trigger any agressiveness and where her needs are second to her man´s,
Any women who behaves like a pick-me has sever issues with her self-esteem. Most women haven’t been like that. It’s plausible that a certain percentage carry themselves in that way though.
It’s insulting to say most women have gone through that. Secure and self-assured women don’t need to do that nor do they see the benefit of it. No one likes a pick-me.
Garaad diinle
Internalized misogyny??? Isn't misogyny supposed to disadvantage women? Does this mean a women unconsciously disadvantages herself? Is this thought stemming from a black and white world view where you either are a feminist of a misogynist with nothing in between?
Explains why a lot of pick me women I see are either unmarried or bad relationships. I suppose humans are naturally repelled by low self-esteem and desperation.
Odious Delirium
VIP
It's just disgusting because any form of validation is good enough to them from any guy which is probably why there in bad relationships due to no standards or they can't hold one because they can't be trusted. They tend to be overly familiar, friendly and flirty with random guys. No guy wants his wife acting that way. When the average guy sees she doesn't respect herself he will either walk away if he's a good guy or take advantage. I don't wanna be with someone who lacks self respect because eventually that will reflect on me and I can't see myself long term having to deal with an individual who is that way.
On the other hand a misandrist doesn't like men if I have some how won her over then I'm a rare exception when it comes to her rules with men making her a normal women who hates other guys meaning she isnt giving random guys the time of her day and she has standards. So I would 100% prefer that to a pick me.
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Pick me doesn’t have one single definition. They are all pick mes.
You must be one because anyone who’s come across those types knows @Javelin is right.
j&jenterprises
A landheere always pays his debts
Pick me: Girls who understand that a family & relationships are a fundamental part of life and thus know what men want, aren’t defiant towards their fitrah and worried about ostracised from other girls. A genuine pick-me is feminine, traditional and has all the traits that will not just get her “picked” but make sure she is held onto.
Women hate going against the grain, if today the general consensus was that women were housewives and were repulsed by feminism - women wouldn’t even utter any feministic rhetoric. I respect a pick-me far more because it shows she has some level of independent thought, her opinions isn’t simply follow the narrative, she is sticking her head above the parapet. In this era of independent women, isn’t it ironic that most women have the exact same talking points regarding men (men are trash, im a boss babe, never rely on a man, etc).
Women hate going against the grain, if today the general consensus was that women were housewives and were repulsed by feminism - women wouldn’t even utter any feministic rhetoric. I respect a pick-me far more because it shows she has some level of independent thought, her opinions isn’t simply follow the narrative, she is sticking her head above the parapet. In this era of independent women, isn’t it ironic that most women have the exact same talking points regarding men (men are trash, im a boss babe, never rely on a man, etc).
Off yourself.
That’s the issue with Pick-me’s. They focus more on what men want, rather than what benefits them. Btw, there is nothing wrong with prioritizing family and marriage. That’s commendable.
Lol, comments like this only come about if you have a one dimensional view of women. It’s insulting to say the least and juvenile.
You’re from a nation of high widowhood, separations and divorce rates, even back home when the women are indeed conservative and dependent on men, yet you have issues with women having any sorts of independence. Any woman that has issues with female independence would indeed be a low IQ pick me as not having any sort of independence will be detrimental. It doesn’t benefit women. It makes sense as to why a man will have issues with it as dependence ensures that the wife stays, even if abused or mistreated. It allows things to be in the favor of the man indefinitely. So please explain to me, as to why as a woman should I be in favor of being fully dependent on a human who could easily die, talaq me, become disabled and the list goes on? We all know that alimony is haram and inheritance for wives is tiny. When such a scenario occurs are you going to fund me? What are you doing now for the women back home who are forced to sell tomatoes on the roadsides?
That is my issue with men like you. Instead of being honest, you want to package your male centric nonsense that only really benefits men as something that benefits women when it doesn’t. Look around you for once and actually engage with the world.
j&jenterprises
A landheere always pays his debts
Attachments
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
Ignore him, he's a straight up misogynist. He said that the downfall of society was giving women education and rights. You can't reason with those types.
j&jenterprises
A landheere always pays his debts
Do we agree that the Qur’an states: Men are Qawaam over women in Surah Nisa? Qawaam being translated to as provider, protector, maintainer, guardian. You mention infantilisation, but why is there this level of protection & provision for someone so independent? Clearly indicating dependence is the state of husband-wife.
j&jenterprises
A landheere always pays his debts
Jahiliya days, I’m reformed. Check your messages abayo
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
Mmhm, care to explain this then?
Posted yesterday:
Don't try that ish with me, eey yahow. I'll continue to call out your misogyny and expose you for what you really are.
j&jenterprises
A landheere always pays his debts
being a protector or maintainer doesn’t mean a woman cannot be financially independent. If that was the case women wouldn’t be allowed to inherit or work. Women having financial freedom isn’t haram and Islam has always allowed women to have access to her wealth and deal with it as she feels fit.
I didn’t mention infantilization and women aren’t to be treated like children. They are judged by Allah as adults as we know that the ruling for children is different to that of Adults. Example, once a woman is Rashida she has full authority over her wealth, she’ll be held independently accountable for her sins. Also, as is the nature of misogynists, you’ll infantilize women when it suits you but hold women to a higher standard than that of man when it also suits you. Men like you have 0 consistency. I’m fact, you expect women to have more self control than that of men in terms of behavior.
With regards to protection and provision, because men are physically stronger than women and are the leaders of their family. If the wife is expected to give birth, breastfeed and all of the physical hardships of womanhood, it is the mercy of Allah that on top of that they’re not forced to provide for a man. What does a man go through?
Also, this dependence women have is clearly limited and goes out the window, upon many occasions such as divorce, death and the list goes on. Women have to tie their camel, because in those circumstances, you’d expect a woman to be independent. If she expected alimony, you’d call her a leach and tell her to get a job, If she expected a higher inheritance for being his wife like the West, you’d call her a leach and tell her to get a job and the list goes on. You have no issues with female independence, it’s only when it doesn’t benefit you do you complain. Or maybe you’re a xaasid who believe that women should be condemned to a life of poverty when their husbands are no longer In the picture?
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