Shaax Corner's Advice Thread.

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Wow wtf. Yes the father messed up big time but so did the mother. She didn't have to be like him and abuse her daughters like that. People who aren't fit to be parents shouldn't have kids.
 

SuldaanGuled

Rag waa shaah dumarna waa sheeko.
Bisinka

Waxaan ka barya Alle in fududeyo arinteeda

Ameen

It's quite dishearting laakin it's becoming a common occurrence these days.
 

ThreeTwentyOne

It's too damn HOT!
I was born with trust issues and was raised by betrayal.

My father left my mother who was 14 at the time when she had me. My mother that had nobody else but him in this country because he married her from Somalia. She couldn’t read or write. She was from baadio straight to Europa. And it was too much for her to handle. She felt so betrayal that she still after 27 years later cry about it.

All my life my mother talked bad about my father. She put me down more than my sister because I look like him and my sister looks like her. When I look at the mirror she is right. I don’t look like my mother or my older sister. They look like twins. Same nose, same smile, same beautiful big eyes. And me, well I guess I look different.

My mother destroyed my life. She destroyed my happiness and my self-love. She told me my father was happy when my sister was born but he run away when he saw how ugly I’m. Don’t my mother know Allah made me like this! I didn’t choose to look like anyone. And Allah don’t create ugly so therefore I can’t be ugly, right girls?

Sometimes she remember what my father did to her out of the blue, she comes in to my room and beat the life out of me. While yelling that it was all my fault and she wish I died maybe my father will come back to her then.

I love my mother, because I can see how heartbroken she is. I can see the pain in her soul while she beats me. I wanted to make her happy so I tried to kill myself 3 times but I couldn’t. I’m too scared to die. I want to live and get married and have kids but whose happiness is more important. Mine or hers?

I even tried to cut down my big nose, my big lips and my nasty small eyes. I even when so far to try to burn my face. All this because of my mother, all this because of my father. I didn’t choose to come to this world, they did!

My father is no better because whatever happened between them too he should of come and get me. What was the point of him getting married to my mother if he wasn’t planning to protect me? And may I ask who did he left me with? Does he know what kind of life I have?

Most of you guys talk about a man hurt you, a best friend did this to you. But end of the day u go home to your parents where u feel safe. Who will protect me, who will save my life?

Now I found a man who ain't leaving me no matter what bullshit drama I bring him. I do anything in my power to push him away because I know he will leave. Be he still here, he ain't going no where, he loves me when I can't love myself, he pick me up when I can't get up. I found love and happiness in him. But as u guessed by now my mother ain't allowing me to marry him. She said take duco or habar.

I know Allah don't give you more pain that you can't handle. But am in my breaking point. I can't do this anymore.
As tears are falling down my face am asking each and everyone off u girls to give me strength to not give up.
I need you sisters more then anything right now

She's got to find her own love and happiness, not through others because what if he ends up leaving her? She needs to talk to her mother about what she's doing to her her either that or quietly save up some money and move out so she can be happy without feeling guilty.
 
This girls own Mother hates her Subhan'Allah. Her mother is
Suffering from PTSD.

She should tell her mother to do one,
And marry the guy.

Has anyone watched that film precious?
This film comes to mind, it made me
Cry wallahi.

:mjcry:
 
This is really sad, and if this is the whole story the mom is worse than the dad tbh.

She should do what makes her happy, never fear the dua of an unjust person because Allah swt is not unjust.
 
N

NaomiHoney

Guest
#Admin
#AnonymousStory

Hi ladies. Something unbelievable happened to me last week that still has me chocked. My best friend, my sister and the only one I have on this earth told me something that broke......my ......soul!

My boyfriend whom I'm getting married to in 4months inshallah is a man who is made by God just for me.

Last week I was the happiest woman on earth. I had 2 people who loved me as much and as deep as I loved them.

Last week my best friend invited me over to her house to talk and she start breaking down in front of me. It was horrible to watch. She kept apologizing for what she about to tell me.
In that moment I knew something was wrong and all I could do was pray to God she wasn't dying or got any kind of illness. Because I can't Handel losing my soul sister.

She took my hands and said "I'm in love with Hamza" as tears was falling down my face I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. And she kept telling me in details on what she loved about him and how he made her feel.

I didn't say 1 word. Because everything she was saying is exactly how I feel about him. Even how my heart skips a beat every time he laughs she felt the same way.

Of course as a grown woman I asked her "did u guys hooked up behind my back" she said no, she would never hurt me like that and he doesn't even know what she feels for him. He has no clue she said.

We start crying together because we both knew that our 20 years for friendship was about to change forever. I left her house and told her I need time for myself.

I went home and Hamza called me. After the "hi back" he knew something was wrong. He asked me to tell me what's going on and after few times of "please talk to me" I got angry at him.

I asked him if he ever cheated on me, if he has feelings for another woman, if he really loved me and wanted me as his wife? He was so confused but collected and answered all my questions. He asked me why and I said I don't want to get married anymore. He asked me if he could see me and it was late so I said no. Then he said let me come over to the house and talk to u (my parents knows about us and he been in the house few times before) I told him no. Then he begged me to explain slowly what I was talking about. Then I told him that iv heard he hooked up with my best friend and even she said they did. Ladies Iv never seen him getting that angry in my life, he got so pissed he wanted to call my father and have a family meeting asap! I told him I was just testing him and nothing of what I said was true. He was confused and didn't get it. But I told him to give me few days to think and I would call him


Ladies my soul is broken wallahi, I just don't know what to do. This girl is my best friend and it's not her fault she feels what she feels for Hamza because he is one of the good guys left. BUT how can I get married to a man knowing my best friend loves him as much as I do without getting any love back.
What if she contacts him after few years and he accept it and he cheats on me with her? Getting divorced is against everything I believe in. So I don't ever wanna get married in a mindset where am thinking "what if" so what the hell am I supposed to do?
 

paramedic

Call me ayeeyo
#Admin
#AnonymousStory

Hi ladies. Something unbelievable happened to me last week that still has me chocked. My best friend, my sister and the only one I have on this earth told me something that broke......my ......soul!

My boyfriend whom I'm getting married to in 4months inshallah is a man who is made by God just for me.

Last week I was the happiest woman on earth. I had 2 people who loved me as much and as deep as I loved them.

Last week my best friend invited me over to her house to talk and she start breaking down in front of me. It was horrible to watch. She kept apologizing for what she about to tell me.
In that moment I knew something was wrong and all I could do was pray to God she wasn't dying or got any kind of illness. Because I can't Handel losing my soul sister.

She took my hands and said "I'm in love with Hamza" as tears was falling down my face I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. And she kept telling me in details on what she loved about him and how he made her feel.

I didn't say 1 word. Because everything she was saying is exactly how I feel about him. Even how my heart skips a beat every time he laughs she felt the same way.

Of course as a grown woman I asked her "did u guys hooked up behind my back" she said no, she would never hurt me like that and he doesn't even know what she feels for him. He has no clue she said.

We start crying together because we both knew that our 20 years for friendship was about to change forever. I left her house and told her I need time for myself.

I went home and Hamza called me. After the "hi back" he knew something was wrong. He asked me to tell me what's going on and after few times of "please talk to me" I got angry at him.

I asked him if he ever cheated on me, if he has feelings for another woman, if he really loved me and wanted me as his wife? He was so confused but collected and answered all my questions. He asked me why and I said I don't want to get married anymore. He asked me if he could see me and it was late so I said no. Then he said let me come over to the house and talk to u (my parents knows about us and he been in the house few times before) I told him no. Then he begged me to explain slowly what I was talking about. Then I told him that iv heard he hooked up with my best friend and even she said they did. Ladies Iv never seen him getting that angry in my life, he got so pissed he wanted to call my father and have a family meeting asap! I told him I was just testing him and nothing of what I said was true. He was confused and didn't get it. But I told him to give me few days to think and I would call him


Ladies my soul is broken wallahi, I just don't know what to do. This girl is my best friend and it's not her fault she feels what she feels for Hamza because he is one of the good guys left. BUT how can I get married to a man knowing my best friend loves him as much as I do without getting any love back.
What if she contacts him after few years and he accept it and he cheats on me with her? Getting divorced is against everything I believe in. So I don't ever wanna get married in a mindset where am thinking "what if" so what the hell am I supposed to do?

Whys she taking it out on hamza damn. She's very insecure, I feel bad for the guy, he's going to get accusations for the rest of their marriage
 
#Admin
#AnonymousStory

Hi ladies. Something unbelievable happened to me last week that still has me chocked. My best friend, my sister and the only one I have on this earth told me something that broke......my ......soul!

My boyfriend whom I'm getting married to in 4months inshallah is a man who is made by God just for me.

Last week I was the happiest woman on earth. I had 2 people who loved me as much and as deep as I loved them.

Last week my best friend invited me over to her house to talk and she start breaking down in front of me. It was horrible to watch. She kept apologizing for what she about to tell me.
In that moment I knew something was wrong and all I could do was pray to God she wasn't dying or got any kind of illness. Because I can't Handel losing my soul sister.

She took my hands and said "I'm in love with Hamza" as tears was falling down my face I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. And she kept telling me in details on what she loved about him and how he made her feel.

I didn't say 1 word. Because everything she was saying is exactly how I feel about him. Even how my heart skips a beat every time he laughs she felt the same way.

Of course as a grown woman I asked her "did u guys hooked up behind my back" she said no, she would never hurt me like that and he doesn't even know what she feels for him. He has no clue she said.

We start crying together because we both knew that our 20 years for friendship was about to change forever. I left her house and told her I need time for myself.

I went home and Hamza called me. After the "hi back" he knew something was wrong. He asked me to tell me what's going on and after few times of "please talk to me" I got angry at him.

I asked him if he ever cheated on me, if he has feelings for another woman, if he really loved me and wanted me as his wife? He was so confused but collected and answered all my questions. He asked me why and I said I don't want to get married anymore. He asked me if he could see me and it was late so I said no. Then he said let me come over to the house and talk to u (my parents knows about us and he been in the house few times before) I told him no. Then he begged me to explain slowly what I was talking about. Then I told him that iv heard he hooked up with my best friend and even she said they did. Ladies Iv never seen him getting that angry in my life, he got so pissed he wanted to call my father and have a family meeting asap! I told him I was just testing him and nothing of what I said was true. He was confused and didn't get it. But I told him to give me few days to think and I would call him


Ladies my soul is broken wallahi, I just don't know what to do. This girl is my best friend and it's not her fault she feels what she feels for Hamza because he is one of the good guys left. BUT how can I get married to a man knowing my best friend loves him as much as I do without getting any love back.
What if she contacts him after few years and he accept it and he cheats on me with her? Getting divorced is against everything I believe in. So I don't ever wanna get married in a mindset where am thinking "what if" so what the hell am I supposed to do?
I feel like both the best friend or the guy are lying and they have done something behind her back because how can you be in "love" with some one if you haven't flirted with them.
 
Whys she taking it out on hamza damn. She's very insecure, I feel bad for the guy, he's going to get accusations for the rest of their marriage
All she did was making sure nothing happened with her best friend...don't think she has any other option than make sure.
unless you would want her to ignore it
 

paramedic

Call me ayeeyo
All she did was making sure nothing happened with her best friend...don't think she has any other option than make sure.
unless you would want her to ignore it

The girl denied it, the man denied it, the OP doesn't think they were together but worries about it.
It's easy to fall in love if you hear your best friend gush about him 24/7, not a lot of men are studs so her jealousy may have turned to love.
I agree though it was a move on the besties part, she didn't have to tell OP unless she wanted to plant a seed of doubt.

Regardless, the only one innocent in this is the gyy
 
N

NaomiHoney

Guest
#ANONYMOUSPOST

Asc sister could you please post this anonymously?

I really need sincere advice ladies please don't mock me in the comments!

Let me start I'm a 27 year old sister who graduated last year as a pharmacist Alhamdulilah. I have always put my education on number 1 instead of focusing on men. Unlike my sisters and closest friends who got married between 19-22 years. So I was always the single one and everyone was getting at me about not being interested in getting married on a young age. I have promised myself to finish off my studies before getting married. So after graduating I went to the states on a holiday to visit my family there and go on a road trip. So I met at a handsome young man named Jamal who's educated and well mannered.

When I saw him for the first time at my aunties house my heart stopped for a sec (I know very cliche) and I became bit clumsy! So I had to go help my cousin to get the shaax and sweets ready. My cousin said to me "Nasra why you being clumsy and getting all shy for? I replied "naya Sumaya don't you see how handsome he is". Sumaya replied back "eww Nasra he's our freaking uncle ?"
I became so shocked "Beenta bal arag how is he our uncle I never heard of him". She said "he's our parents third cousin!" I was thinking why does this handsome man has to be our uncle

So when we brought the shaax and sweets to the faadhi my habo said "Nasra come sit down I have to introduce you to your abti Jamal". I became so uncomfortable but sit down and Jamal looked straight into my eyes. He said "barasho wanagsan Nasra nice to meet you my name is Jamal you don't have to call me abti" and gave me a freaking wink after it. I replied " nice to meet you too Jamal" and he asked about my life back in Europe and my habo told him I graduated as a pharmacist and he is a biomedical researcher. So we kept on talking about our profession and we clicked. Jamal said "Nasra would you like to go out tomorrow so I can be your guide" I became shy again and agreed to it.

So the next three weeks Jamal and I saw each other almost every day and I felt like I was falling in love. Jamal told me he was getting divorced with his wife but she's pregnant at the moment. That really put me off because I never ever want to come between people even though he told me he wanted to get a divorce two months before we met. He said to me on the last week "Nasra I really like you and you know it's halal for us to get married right". My heart dropped and I replied back "Jamal I didn't knew you liked me in that way and let alone wanting to get married?" He said "The moment when we sat down at your aunts house and having a conversation I couldn't stop looking at your pretty face". I became so shy and replied "Jamal you know you are still married and people will judge us for getting married". He said "I don't care I want to do right by you and make it halal after I handle my divorcement". I really became so shocked and felt it was going too fast. I told him I need time to process this and talk to my family about this.

When I came home and told Sumaya all about it and she said Nasra are you crazy! He is our uncle, married and his wife is pregnant! I replied back "Sumaya you know he's our third degree uncle not freaking first uncle so it's halal for us to marry and he told me he's was planning a divorcement before we met after she gives birth!" Sumaya replied "Nasra you know everyone is going to talk about this do you know his wife is from our clan even sub clan? Everyone will get involved" I replied "I didn't even make up my mind about this but I really like him and can't get him out of my mind!" Sumaya replied "Nasra don't get yourself into this mess." So I said "I will think about this!"

The next day I was flying out back home and guess who was driving me to the airport... yes Jamal. During the drive to the airport he said to me "I know you are afraid and I completely understand it why you wouldn't want to go through with us." I said to Jamal for the first time "Jamal I really like you even from the first moment you walked in but I can't break up a marriage even though you want to get divorce before we met". He said to me "I know that and I want you to promise me after I get a divorce that you will think about this" and I said I will do that.

Fast forward to end of 2016. Jamal became a father in October and he got a divorce. He kept on calling me everyday. I have spoken to my mother about it and she said to me "Nasra you can do better he's my third cousin and he recently got divorced and became a father" and I said "Hooyo you are right but I really want to give him a chance and I even prayed about it. Hooyo said "Nasra think really good about this the whole family is going to talk about this and his ex wife is from our sub clan. I said "Hooyo I keep on thinking about him and he's always coming back and want to talk with you about it". My mother wasn't happy about it but she agreed to talk with him. He called my mother and told her everything and that he really wants us to get married. My mother said "it's up to Nasra if she wants that and I don't want you both to rush into this!" So fast forward to this week. Jamal is coming next week to ask for my hand and my dilemma is I don't know if I should go through this even though I love him to bits but I'm afraid we might get involved in a family feud.

#UPDATE
#ANONYMOUSPOST

Thank you for the sisters who gave sincere advice! I have prayed multiple times istighara and he continues crossing my path. I don't want to rush into getting married and want him to get time to adjust to parenthood. Also about his ex wife the reason why they got divorced is because she has balwaad she kept on smoking even in the first trimester. She lied to him about her having balwada in the beginning of their marriage and hid cigarettes in the house and didn't change her old habits like going out late etc. I didn't want to air out the reason of the divorce but you girls made me and I also have family members that validated that's the reason. He didn't want to air out her balwaad but she kept on smoking and he got afraid for the baby. But alhamdulilah the baby is healthy and I don't mind to be a step mother. I don't know why people are making a big deal about being a step mother but some of you single mothers want a man who also accept you and your child(ren)! The reason why I have second thoughts is because I'm afraid his ex wife is going to start drama because she is known to be a hot head and people judging me marrying a family member. But I guess now I shouldn't be caring about people's opinions since most are assuming too much. Once again thanks to the sisters who gave me the advice to do what's right and to do me.
 
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