Sharing your man with your best friend

[Abdurahman_somali]

Wow, i never thought of my self as difficult.



I'm more of a laid back type as long as he doesn't cross me.

"As long as he doesn't cross me", but yes you never thought of yourself you were difficult.

 

[NotMyL]

It's their lives, though, lol. Why are you concerning yourself with their preferences? That's a discussion for them and their future spouse - chill, sis.

Lola where is your naagnimo?

 

[Schematics]

Yep. Literally.



Polygamy is halal and if both women involved are happy and their rights are fulfilled then I don't believe anyone has the right to say anything, but polygamy isn't for me. Each to their own.

Female instinct on display. Can't blame you Abti. But, let me ask this, if you are satisfied in all the expectations you have, why care that he sleeps next to you every night? Don't you need a space to breathe and do things you like of acceptable interests while he is not breathing down on your neck all the time?

Have him few nights kinda deal and enjoy your space the rest of the week sounds good noh?

 

[Schematics]

Lola where is your naagnimo?

Lola is a female? I always thought it was a young brother behind the name.

Lola, nice to make your acquaintance Abti.

 

[HalimaJ]

Female instinct on display. Can't blame you Abti. But, let me ask this, if you are satisfied in all the expectations you have, why care that he sleeps next to you every night? Don't you need a space to breathe and do things you like of acceptable interests while he is not breathing down on your neck all the time?

Have him few nights kinda deal and enjoy your space the rest of the week sounds good noh?

With regards to feeling of possessiveness and jealousy men and women tend to be similar but act out differently.

In a alternative reality in which women are able to engage with polygamy, how would you feel? What emotions stir your heart at the thought of your loved one being with another man?

You don't need to ask me such a question, just ask yourself and I think you will find that the feeling is the same. The only difference is that you are a man and therefore have the privilege of not having to deal with this reality.

 

[AIOPZ]

Lola is a female? I always thought it was a young brother behind the name.

Lola, nice to make your acquaintance Abti.

If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a female...

 

[Schematics]

With regards to feeling of possessiveness and jealousy men and women tend to be similar but act out in differently.

In a alternative reality in which women are able to engage with polygamy, how would you feel? What emotions stir your heart at the thought of your loved one being with another man?

You don't need to ask me such a question, just ask yourself and I think you will find that the feeling is the same. The only difference is that you are a man and therefore have the privilege of not dealing with this reality.

Abti, am not without empathy. With that said, there is maturity level people acquire and females are no exception. When you hit menopause, your views will be different and you will desire that your husband doesn't bother you with his constant needs.

The idea of getting old together sounds good but is unrealistic. It is better to live with reasonable expectations but not one that is based on dreams. You make wake-up from the dream and realize it was just a dream.

 

[Schematics]

If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for a female...

If it gets too much, ask for a name change bro. Aussiehustler is a good brother. He will accommodate you I think.

 

[AIOPZ]

If it gets too much, ask for a name change bro. Aussiehustler is a good brother. He will accommodate you I think.

I thought that the admin could only change usernames, though? I've already asked the admin to change my name but no luck.

 

[Schematics]

I thought that the admin could only change usernames, though? I've already asked the admin to change my name but no luck.

Then they can send a request to the Admin right?. Or they can grant you permission to register again with a different username and let them know that you registered a new name.

 

[AIOPZ]

Then they can send a request to the Admin right?. Or they can grant you permission to register again with a different username and let them know that you registered a new name.

Who's they, akhi?

 

[IstarZ]

@HalimaJ & @IstarZ

I never said polygamous relationships are all rosy and romantic..
The point I was trying to make was older men especially the ones who are financially well established are attracted to younger females and vise versa.. Younger women are attracted to men who can provide for them in exchange for their bodies....In muslim cultures this takes in the form of polygamous marriages whilst in Western cultures its in the form of the sugar daddy relationships.. So would you rather prefer to be a sugar girl that gets passed around between multiple lovers or marry a man as second or third wife which under Islam is permissible.

There is no comparison between the two. It’s sacrilegious to compare them.

In Islam, marriage is a contract that affords the parties involved certain rights. Polygamy is not a right, but a huge responsibility placed on men and Muslim men take it for granted and fall short of their duties. I would say this is particularly the case with Somali men.

 

[AIOPZ]

There is no comparison between the two. It’s sacrilegious to compare them.

In Islam, marriage is a contract that affords the parties involved certain rights. Polygamy is not a right, but a huge responsibility placed on men and Muslim men take it for granted and fall short of their duties. I would say this is particularly the case with Somali men.

Do you have statistics to back that up because that sounds like a pretty big accusation.

 

[IstarZ]

Do you have statistics to back that up because that sounds like a pretty big accusation.

Are their any statistics provided for all the rubbish here spouted against Somali women?

Polygamy is abused in our community. Lets not pretend it’s not an issue.

 

[Don]

The abuse these Asians/Arabs women endure not only does she have to be okay with this, she posts about it pretending to be happy.

This is just sad and disgusting. I hope the first wife finds another man deserving of her love!

 

[AIOPZ]

Are their any statistics provided for all the rubbish here spouted against Somali women?

Polygamy is abused in our community. Lets not pretend it’s not an issue.

Lol, two wrongs don't make a right.

I have trouble believing that polygamy is widely "abused" in the Somali community. I don't know a single polygamous couple that had a falling out and trust me there are plenty in my extended family. So if we're basing this purely off anecdotes, then I don't see how this speaks for the entire Somali community.

 

[Schematics]

Who's they, akhi?

Moderators.

 

[Schematics]

Lol, two wrongs don't make a right.

I have trouble believing that polygamy is widely "abused" in the Somali community. I don't know a single polygamous couple that had a falling out and trust me there are plenty in my extended family. So if we're basing this purely off anecdotes, then I don't see how this speaks for the entire Somali community.

I met two men who were married to more than one wife in my entire life. It is not common among Somalis I have been meeting and travelling through. It must have become popular now in Somalia may be. But I doubt that. The one group that isn't shy marrying left and right are the religious Somalis. And this group aren't doing it often.

 

[IstarZ]

Lol, two wrongs don't make a right.

I have trouble believing that polygamy is widely "abused" in the Somali community. I don't know a single polygamous couple that had a falling out and trust me there are plenty in my extended family. So if we're basing this purely off anecdotes, then I don't see how this speaks for the entire Somali community.

Don’t ask me for stats, if you don’t ask them. Be consistent.

We only have anecdotes to go on I doubt there is research on the perils of polygamous marriages in the Somali community.

 

[Schematics]

Don’t ask me for stats, if you don’t ask them. Be consistent.

We only have anecdotes to go on I doubt there is research on the perils of polygamous marriages in the Somali community.

It is not that common. How many have you met assuming you have Somali relatives and neighbors, or know of Somalis from your area?