Somali women how would you like to be courted?

[Odious Delirium]

How do you feel a somali guy should go about courting a somali girl for marriage in the West (none of that back home stuff) and what do you want the guys to do that their not doing?

And those of you from the UK is there tension between the genders in your experience as in do somali guys keep there distance from you or visversa?

 

[Odious Delirium]

@Hodan from HR
Stop laughing and give me some feedback

 

[Hodan from HR]

@Hodan from HR
Stop laughing and give me some feedback

I just did in the other thread, lemme copy paste lool

 

[Hodan from HR]

For your previous question

Women what do you feel about a random guy approaching you asking for your father's number so he can get to know you?
So far that's my plan for next year I just want some feed back.

I can't speak for every woman but personally, I'd be creeped out. Like why are you in a rush and what are you hiding? Once family is involved it is official and there will be more pressure to settle down.

What if she gets to know you and realize yall are not compatible? Now every habaryar and her daughter is in her business and wants know what happend with Javelin..

 

[Odious Delirium]

For your previous question



I can't speak for every woman but personally, I'd be creeped out. Like why are you in a rush and what are you hiding? Once family is involved it is official and there will be more pressure to settle down.

What if she gets to know you and realize yall are not compatible? Now every habaryar and her daughter is in her business and wants know what happend with Javelin..

Ok if I was to approach yourself what do you think I would be hiding can you elaborate?

And what's wrong in saying we aren't compatible?

 

[Hodan from HR]

How do you feel a somali guy should go about courting a somali girl for marriage in the West (none of that back home stuff) and what do you want the guys to do that their not doing?

And those of you from the UK is there tension between the genders in your experience as in do somali guys keep there distance from you or visversa?

Personally, I need to know the guy, get a sense of his personality because I dont want to marry a total stranger. A muslim man who can chat about random things, is funny but keeps the conversation halal, earns massive respect from me walahi.

It also speaks alot about his self-discipline and ihsaan

 

[Odious Delirium]

Personally, I need to know the guy, get a sense of his personality because I dont want to marry a total stranger. A muslim man who can chat about random things, is funny but keeps the conversation halal, earns massive respect from me walahi.

It also speaks alot about his self control and ikhlaas

The issue for me is that whether I want to get to know a girl with or without her parents they will be involved regardless since I got a reputation and my father is a well know imam. Basically every somali from my city knows my parents. Anytime I'm outside some random is reporting that they saw me walking down so and so street. If I was talking to a girl it would definitely get to both our parents and I'm not just connected to the somali Community the Asian community in my area is also equally nosey since everyone Asian in my city knows me and my father aswell. I'm technically the bridge between our two communities in my city.

Plus a lot of habyaars are bitter out here because I have already rejected them offering there daughters to me basically they are praying on my downfall and are waiting to catch me slipping so they can spread slander

 

[Odious Delirium]

@Hodan from HR by the way I can't react to posts any more can you tell me why thats the case?

 

[Hodan from HR]

Ok if I was to approach yourself what do you think I would be hiding can you elaborate?

And what's wrong in saying we aren't compatible?

Not hiding anything per se but it comes off like you have nothing to lose hence are willing to gamble with your life. We shouldn't introduce random men and women to family. That is a privilege you preserve after vetting and they tick your boxes.

Also, women are risk averse and we've learnt men who are serious about starting a family and have alot to lose are more discerning. They know it's gonna cost more if they entangle with the wrong woman so they prefer taking things slow.

 

[Hodan from HR]

@Hodan from HR by the way I can't react to posts any more can you tell me why thats the case?

Not sure walal. You'll have to dm Admin

 

[Hodan from HR]

The issue for me is that whether I want to get to know a girl with or without her parents they will be involved regardless since I got a reputation and my father is a well know imam. Basically every somali from my city knows my parents. Anytime I'm outside some random is reporting that they saw me walking down so and so street. If I was talking to a girl it would definitely get to both our parents and I'm not just connected to the somali Community the Asian community in my area is also equally nosey since everyone Asian in my city knows me and my father aswell. I'm technically the bridge between our two communities in my city.

Plus a lot of habyaars are bitter out here because I have already rejected them offering there daughters to me basically they are praying on my downfall and are waiting to catch me slipping so they can spread slander

That's tough one. Aniga, I move lowkey, sometimes friends get to know. My parents also know I do talk to men. They trust me and always remind me to be safe. They are not worried because I have always been responsible and never conduct myself in a way that brings shame to my family. But yh, I am in my mid twenties. If I dont date and talk to men now, when will I?

 

[Odious Delirium]

Not hiding anything per se but it comes off like you have nothing to lose hence are willing to gamble with your life. We shouldn't introduce random men and women to family. That is a privilege you preserve after vetting and they tick your boxes.

Also, women are risk averse and we've learnt men who are serious about starting a family and have alot to loss are more discerning. They know its gonna cost more if they entangle with the wrong woman so they take things slow.

Ok then what do you suggest I do in my case?

 

[Odious Delirium]

That's tough one. Aniga, I move lowkey, sometimes friends get to know. My parents also know I do talk to men. They trust me and always remind me to be safe. They are not worried because I have always been responsible and never conduct myself in a way that brings shame to my family. But yh, I am in my mid twenties. If I dont date and talk to men now, when will I?

So do I and my parents don't mind since they trust me and know I'm trying to get married but it's everyone else that will try to insert themselves and I don't know how not being upfront with the parents will affect the girl.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Not sure walal. You'll have to dm Admin

How do I dm admin?

 

[Hodan from HR]

Ok then what do you suggest I do in my case?

So do I and my parents don't mind since they trust me and know I'm trying to get married but it's everyone else that will try to insert themselves and I don't know how not being upfront with the parents will affect the girl.

Walahi I don't know.
Yours seems tough. One thing you can do is tell people you know esp if you have muslim women coworkers or classmates that you are looking to settle down and if they know someone. Then when you get introduced, you can ask said lady how long she is comfortable talking before family gets involved. Some women may not introduce their parents immeditey but will introduce their brother or older sister or best friend which is a good sign.

How do I dm admin?

@Admin click on his profile and start conversation. He'll reply.

 

[Darood]

How do you feel a somali guy should go about courting a somali girl for marriage in the West (none of that back home stuff) and what do you want the guys to do that their not doing?

And those of you from the UK is there tension between the genders in your experience as in do somali guys keep there distance from you or visversa?

I feel tension there is tension. Some guys won’t even make eye contact with me. They’re very awkward.

I think just being respectful, courteous gentleman like is a good start. Don’t ask about clans ect.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I feel tension there is tension. Some guys won’t even make eye contact with me. They’re very awkward.

Do you know why this is from your point of view?

Personally I don't make eye contact with women in general unless I'm in the position where I have to talk to one. I do this because we are meant to lower our gaze but I'm not awkward in convos.

As for in general somali women in my experience are either extremely friendly and approach me catching me off guard or mean mug me from a distance why is that in your opinion?

I get the vibe that somali women don't want to be approached by somali men. Have you ever approached a somali guy or just the women around you in general for a conversation or do you try and stay away?

 

[CalmOne20####]

I like to be treated with respect and I also like mature,classy gentlemen who can hold a conversation.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I like to be treated with respect and I also like mature,classy gentlemen who can hold a conversation.

What kind of things do you or women in general like to have conversations about?

 

[CalmOne20####]

What kind of things do you or women in general like to have conversations about?

Hobbies,knowing more about the guy.