Somalis and social awkwardness.

[dhegdheer]

I thought I was socially awkward because I grew up in Scandinavia... now ur saying it's a Somali thing?

I grew out of it when I moved lol it's just stepping out of ur comfort zone

 

[Keo]

It has zero benefits.

Where I live Norwegian parents will get mad at their kids for staying at home and will tell them to go outside. Somali parents will be mad if they go outside too much and happy of they stay at home. It's ridiculous.

Oh, that's Norway but if you live in the US, UK or Canada then it is a different story.

 

[Lord Flacko]

Oh, that's Norway but if you live in the US, UK or Canada then it is a different story.

No. Going outside is healthy.

 

[Keo]

No. Going outside is healthy.

You can go outside in weekends.

 

[Lord Flacko]

You can go outside in weekends.

How when you're never outside on weekdays?

As a kid you should be outside everyday.

 

[dhegdheer]

How when you're never outside on weekdays?

As a kid you should be outside everyday.

I was honestly shocked when I found out kids in other countries weren't let outside to play constantly

I look at kids nowadays and I'm shocked when I see them locked inside their house... When I was their age I practically lived outside

 

[Khathead]

From my experience, they are socially awkward only towards whites that are middle class and higher.

But it's worse in places like Europe.

In England, Somalis are totally socially awkward towards all whites, even their neighbours and coworkers and classmates. They also totally avoid middle class and above Asians, South Asians and Arabs. They will only be comfortable around Asians, south Asians, Arabs of the same socioeconomic background. Somalis there are only totally comfortable with any type of Black or Somalis whatever their background is.

In Scandinavia it's even worse. Somalis there are the most socially awkward people on the planet, even more so than the other ethnic groups who are also very socially awkward. They will even be socially awkward towards other Somalis.

Delete this

 

[Bahal]

I agree.

It's why I love fobs so much. I was with a fob friend once and found him speaking with a group of Mexicans in a mix of awful English and even worse bits of Spanish he somehow picked up, absolutely laughing his ass off. Very genuine people.

 

[Gambar]

I think ciyaal say wallahi don't venture out of their circle of Somalis which makes them awkward around other people.

This is not a Somali thing for sure, back home people are social butterflies.

It has to do with qurbo joog who are extremely weird, you see groups of Hispanic immigrants who speak fluent English and fluent Spanish while their parents have little to no education.

When you look at Somali immigrants, the kids struggle to speak Somali but the parents only speak Somali and don't know English. They also have very little education. It's like they look down on their culture/language so the kid cannot even communicate with their own parents. The parent wants to learn English with their 5 year old. So there is no communication between their own parents and that (besides hurling insults) plays a part in their social awkwardness.

 

[agnes]

We are a product of our society, can you blame us? I like to mind my business keep conversations to a minimum. Don't get the unnecessary aftaag culture tbh.

 

[Inquisitive_]

That genuine obliviousness mixed in with a wild and active imagination that would make even an LSD addict jealous.

I was going to ask which category you fell under, until I realised you don't even make the list you bakhti, even these low quality chicks make fun of your ilks.

 

[Jubba_Man]

Anybody who has eyes can see the differences in social skills between the 'say wallahi' generation and the fobs from the same age group in Canada (I can only speak for Canada). It's like night and day. A good chunk of the kids who grew up here, mainly the boys, are introverted,and socially awkward when around new people or in group settings. The effect is heightened when it's a professional setting or one with middle/upper class cadaans.

The reason for the social awkwardness in Somali settings like shisha bars I believe is due to the unhealthy dynamic between Somali boys and Somali girls. They'll all sit around in their cliques and just ogle each other. There's just this weird tension in any room full of Somali boys and girls that u can almost cut with a knife, it's hella weird. The boys don't want to go out on a limb and actually talk to a member of the opposite sex cuz they're too scared of getting rejected by a girl in front of their peers. That's why nowadays most guys won't talk to the girl they like in person but instead just go home and add them on facebook or instagram from the comfort of their room. A fob on the other hand can open a conversation with an entire group of girls and in the end shukaansi the one he likes lol.

As for the awkwardness of the 'say wallahi's' in general, outside of the Somali context, I think it boils down to two main reasons. 1. They're neighborhoods are not diverse 2. Lack of confidence due to perceived deficits in education/skills. As for the first reason, most of these Somali kids grew up in the hood and went to school with other Somalis and madows and have had very little contact with middle/upper class cadaans or Asians. Understandably this makes them more adept at socializing with Somalis and madows because they've internalized and become well versed in the social norms and conventions of Somali and madow youth, which is pretty much encapsulated in the hip-hop/hood/black culture. Take them outside of this and they become fish out of water because they lack the social tools to navigate the uncharted social territory they find themselves in. A fob on the other hand doesn't care about the unwritten social rules of each demographic and will just go in there and break the ice by just being his genuine self.

The second reason stems from the fact that many of these youth aren't doing well educationally speaking and have not acquired marketable skills. They are cognizant of this fact, and so if you take one of them to a job fair or networking session of course they won't feel very confident when they can't even string two sentences together without resorting to at least one slang term to express themselves. Fobs on the other hand just have the supreme Somali confidence rooted in our nomadic heritage and believe in faking it till u make it. They'll ask him if he knows x.y,z and he'll claim he had a job in Mogadishu doing exactly that lol.

I myself grew up in the hood around Somalis and madows and I'm not comfortable with nor do I enjoy socializing with cadaans because their socio-cultural norms are foreign to my own. So I fit the bill on the first reason which I stated above, but because I feel confident in my education and skill level I don't act awkward or introverted around them. If I had done poorly in school and wasn't an avid reader I would've been just like many of my peers who not only find middle/upper class cadaan culture foreign but also feel intimidated by the knowledge and skills required to navigate middle/upper class and white-collar spaces.

Five star post as usual, sxb.



A lot of these younger kids are smart, ambitious, and hungry for success. But they all seemed to be under the impression all they need to succeed in the working world are technical skills. Then they wonder why they can't move up the corporate ladder. The harsh reality is that in most of the working world, and I include STEM in this as well, soft skills matter much more than technical skills although that is changing itself. With the job market becoming more and more competitive over the years, nowadays the mantra of "it's who you know, not what you know" seems to have changed to "it's who you know and what you know".


The sad thing is, this is something Somalis should naturally be excelling at. Asians come from a culture that historically reinforced social awkward tendencies, but our heritage has mostly been one of business and merchantry. This is something these kids should be excelling at. Clearly, another failure of the parents here.


That description of shisha joints is spot on. I don't think it's social awkwardness that is the main factor here, though I'm sure it contributes. The issue here is how many of these feminized boys gossip. If a girl is naturally friendly and conversing with any and every dude, they will label her a and destroy her reputation even if she never did anything. So I can understand why the gabdo have their guards up. Another failure of Somali parents. My hypothesis on why henny and alcohol is so popular in Toronto is because of the "liquid courage" it gives to these kids.

 

[Jubba_Man]

I thought I was socially awkward because I grew up in Scandinavia... now ur saying it's a Somali thing?

I grew out of it when I moved lol it's just stepping out of ur comfort zone

Always knew you were socially awkward.


I bet you every qaxbaad on here other than @VixR are completely mute miskeenads in the real world.

 

[Inquisitive_]

@jugjugwacwac

The difference between Fobs and the likes your describing is just experience, nothing more or less, with the added benefits that the societies they came from women are not pedalistized unlike here, hence pedetalized shukansi works on the women there because they are starved, but fails on the ones here.

Hence it's easier to gain experiences in such society that even encourage such behaviour as going to a women freestyle (ku tuf), this affects all races as you can see with the explosion of PUA movements.

Every FOB I have seen while in the game, is either rejected or used as an entertainment tool, they only bag Xalimo's fresh of the boat that dig this, I always used them as the pivot/clown but the one thing they have is no fear of rejection, because back home it's normal and not looked down upon, but here it's regarded as a great shame.

This is not social awkwardness in any sense, its just a lack of experience, these men haven't gone through what we did, when I was growing up at 14/15 I would approach 100 of girls, with ultra high rejection rates, from every one of those experiences you grow and calibrate.

The same with interviews, failed my first 3, after that I nailed it and never failed again, all of this comes with experience and every human goes through this.

This Jubba kid hasn't gone through this, if he is from London, I would be glad to demonstrate it to him a lesson, in fact the girls at Shiisha places whom spent hours pulling on make-up and are there specifically to meet a man, are the easiest women in the world to court, they are literally hungry for it, all you have to do is NOT TO f*ck IT UP and look somewhat presentable, and always approach a group of them not singles, the larger the group the better.

 

[Jubba_Man]

I was going to ask which category you fell under, until I realised you don't even make the list you bakhti, even these low quality chicks make fun of your ilks.

@jugjugwacwac

The difference between Fobs and the likes your describing is just experience, nothing more or less, with the added benefits that the societies they came from women are not pedalistized unlike here, hence pedetalized shukansi works on the women there because they are starved, but fails on the ones here.

Hence it's easier to gain experiences in such society that even encourage such behaviour as going to a women freestyle (ku tuf), this affects all races as you can see with the explosion of PUA movements.

Every FOB I have seen while in the game, is either rejected or used as an entertainment tool, they only bag Xalimo's fresh of the boat that dig this, I always used them as the pivot/clown but the one thing they have is no fear of rejection, because back home it's normal and not looked down upon, but here it's regarded as a great shame.

This is not social awkwardness in any sense, its just a lack of experience, these men haven't gone through what we did, when I was growing up at 14/15 I would approach 100 of girls, with ultra high rejection rates, from every one of those experiences you grow and calibrate.

The same with interviews, failed my first 3, after that I nailed it and never failed again, all of this comes with experience and every human goes through this.

This Jubba kid hasn't gone through this, if he is from London, I would be glad to demonstrate it to him a lesson, in fact the girls at Shiisha places whom spent hours pulling on make-up and are there specifically to meet a man, are the easiest women in the world to court, they are literally hungry for it, all you have to do is NOT TO f*ck IT UP and look somewhat presentable, and always approach a group of them not singles, the larger the group the better.

I didn't want to do this, because I am a firm believer of letting people be whatever they want to be on the internet. But now the gloves are coming off.


Here's some fatherly advice for you nephew: drop the act. We all know you're some under-developed, 90 pounds soaking wet khat addict who spends his time after the mandated workfare listening to the ravings of Dahir Alasow, and spending the rest of the time on AboveTopSecret circle jerking with other "intellectuals" about how Einstein was wrong and how the beta europhiles of society were all wrong and how stupid they are, and then squeeze in a few hours on here and reddit and imagining the next stories of how you "conquered" some imaginative xalimos while your 5 other roommates are listening to BBC Hiiraan on a 15 year old PC you all share.


Everyone sees through it. I'm telling you this for your own good so you can save yourself further embarrassment. You've built your entire fragile manhood on a sexual life that doesn't really exist. You're trying to so hard to be apart of team saqajaan with your pitiful attempts at teasing all of the gabdo on here while continuously falling flat on your face.

And that's the problem. You're a miskeen. You're just not built for that saqajaan life. The saqajaan life chooses you. Nothing wrong with being a miskeen. Some women even prefer that. But just know everyone can see through your attempts at being something you never were meant to be.

 

[Loriox]

From my experiences in Somali gatherings, campus, and dugsi it's mainly Somali girls with this issue.

Only befriending eachother, doing that awkward walk all halimos do, strangely tied hijab, and give guys a horrifying, intense stare when they check them out.

 

[Inquisitive_]

War ninyahow if your from London just drop me a PM, calaacalka badhan Jooji, I have actually retired & born again, but willing to help my peasant brother out, waxaaba sheekada ka dhigtey like we are entering a lions den, these are just women man, they are more afraid of you.

Btw I am over 200 pounds walahi, pure menacing muscle, I promise you I won't beat you, I am pro Somaliweyne, it's just a little a warning in case your expecting some skinny rat to appear in front of you.

 

[bluebird]

If Somalis like myself won't do it, no one else will. These gaalo will laugh at you behind your backs and would never look out for you like a Somali would. Too many times I have taken a young Somali to some networking event or introduced them to the right friends they needed only to end up crashing and burning and blaming everything else but themselves. It's a problem.

at least half of the cadaan people where I live are somewhere on the spectrum, so the somalis look social in comparison. what do you mean by social awkwardness? if you mean low self confidence then I think it's a combination of somali parents putting them down but being raised in a soft environment unlike back home. and they also are taught to fear everything because of paranoid parents so they never get a chance to develop social skills. they even fear speaking out of fear of being mocked or saying the wrong thing.

 

[Jubba_Man]

War ninyahow if your from London just drop me a PM, calaacalka badhan Jooji, I have actually retired & born again, but willing to help my peasant brother out, waxaaba sheekada ka dhigtey like we are entering a lions den, these are just women man, they are more afraid of you.

Btw I am over 200 pounds walahi, pure menacing muscle, I promise you I won't beat you, I am pro Somaliweyne, it's just a little a warning in case your expecting some skinny rat to appear in front of you.

200 pounds of "pure menacing" muscle? What dude talks like this. Hurt me? Sxb you're the Somali version of this guy:

 

[Mohamud]

somalis generally can't function outside their routines.

they have simply tricked themselves into believing their insane antics break routine. they have a specific shisha joint they frequent, a trap house maybe, abdis house for fifa. very rarely do they set aside time to plan something out in its entirety save for new years and other festivities. they never got that lesson because they never needed to learn it.

when you try new things, create new routines, hang out in different locales, diversify your friend group... when you do those things you learn to socialize properly. this is a millenial issue by and large, but it's noticeable with us because we're already homogenous. when there are two groups (fob and diaspora) and one can't work a crowd or present in front of more than 5 people you start seeing issues.

i know you niggas have seen them chilling at yonge and dundas square in their unisex groups, girls on one side, boys on the other. only the leader of each side talks to the other group to get things together. it's absurd.