The Ajnabi Myth and Other Inconveniences

[Inquisitive_]

I find it amazing how out of touch people really are with realities.

No Somali Ajanabi weddings even take place like they do with Somali/Somali, the fast majority of them are conducted how it should be, a Nikah, small walimah, even smaller mehr with some dates and OFF SHE GOES into the sunset.

It's not only Somalis btw but any women that marries a difference race, the process is the same, the family of the women sees this as a shame and hence they wants to bury this as quick as possible, they make sure there is NO WEDDING to cover or broadcast what they see as a great shame.

This ofcourse benefits the revert brothers as they get pennies on the dollar, even tough they cry about racism/bigotry like little girls, they totally loose sight of all the hidden barakah that Allah has put in there way which a dude from the same race doesn't have.

From the 40 or so odd women I have seen that married a different race, not one of them had a wedding, it's a great blessings for these brothers.

 

[Mohamud]

Yeah someone did tell me that when their sister married a Jamaican they had a private wedding with only family.

That everyone was embarrassed to showcase it. Pretty depressing.

 

[VixR]

That's if she married a madow. That said, a West African -Somali marriage in my area was standard fare.

Everyone else is per usual. All ajnabis are not created equal in the eyes of Somalis, even with madows there are ranks.

Also, the girl's age, how many sprogs the fam has, and whether she's the oldest or not seem to determine expense in Somali weddings. Most Somalis aren't extravagant with nuptials to begin with.

 

[Codeine]

That's if she married a madow. That said, a West African -Somali marriage in my area was standard fare.

Everyone else is per usual. All ajnabis are not created equal in the eyes of Somalis, even with madows there are ranks.

Also, the girl's age, how many sprogs the fam has, and whether she's the oldest or not seem to determine expense in Somali weddings. Most Somalis aren't extravagant with nuptials to begin with.

Are all ajnabis created equally in your eyes?

 

[VixR]

Are all ajnabis created equally in your eyes?

I was merely pointing out the distinction. It depends on what she marries, not that he's an ajnabi.

A White-Somali marriage will get a wedding.

A Madow-Somali marriage will likely not.

Heck, even with Somali guys, they impregnate madow girls and latinas, and don't get weddings, but baby mama status or tiny yard events

But the ones with White girls and Arabs get marriages.

 

[cantspeak]

Because a girl who gets knocked up does not deserve a marriage.

 

[VixR]

Because a girl who gets knocked up does not deserve a marriage.

Even when they're not knocked up - they don't get full blown marriages, but small events.

They don't want to make a fanfare if she's not White or Arab, and they know they'll be judged throughout the whole affair by the entirety of the community bc she's Messican or Madow.

If she's Arab, Afghan, White, Indian, or other light Muslim, it's accepted. A madow = wagging tongues.

And my secondary point was, they don't even get to have a marriage, they just knock em up.

 

[Cinnamon Spice]

I suppose it's more common in some communities than in others. I've never been to a Xaliimo-Ajnabi wedding. Can't say the same for Faarax-Ajnabi wedding though.

 

[Codeine]

I was merely pointing out the distinction. It depends on what she marries, not that he's an ajnabi.

A White-Somali marriage will get a wedding.

A Madow-Somali marriage will likely not.

Heck, even with Somali guys, they impregnate madow girls and latinas, and don't get weddings, but baby mama status or tiny yard events

But the ones with White girls and Arabs get marriages.

Wasn't accusing just genuinely curious. Can't say I'm too surprised but that's still pretty fucked up.

I'm kinda surprised about Whites getting married though, cause I've always been under the impression (even in my circles) that Somali guys don't rate White girls at all. Like literally no respect or long term intentions which is kinda fucked up.

 

[VixR]

Wasn't accusing just genuinely curious. Can't say I'm too surprised but that's still pretty fucked up.

I'm kinda surprised about Whites getting married though, cause I've always been under the impression (even in my circles) that Somali guys don't rate White girls at all. Like literally no respect or long term intentions which is kinda fucked up.

I have my own preferences, but I don't think background matters so much being a good fit. Generally, you should accept the best of what you see. If it comes in the package of a Somali, all the better, but its not a requirement.

I think most guys here go through a White-girl phase.

Somali guys, and Muslim guys in general, have this tendency to use white girls, or "gaals" in general just to f*ck around with, and then marry their respective ethnic backgrounds (or be pressured into marrying from their background). The funny thing is, the girls do this too, only they're not playing games and they end falling for a non-Muslim. This is bc dating a Muslim implies being ready for the M word, marriage, for most ppl, and they're not ready, and shit happens. The expectations don't vibe with the environment.

Not everything is some phase though. Everyone has their preferences, and you'll generally find your match from what attracts you.

 

[Ubax45_]

I kind of understand why ajnabi weddings are kept under wraps.
I remember a few years ago this Somali girl married a Japanese/Korean guy her pics were spread all across Somali websites, miskeen.

 

[Ubax45_]

I see plenty of mixed marriages on both ends where I am. It depends on your surroundings, I guess. Areas with high Somali populations should see a healthy majority of Somali-Somali marriages.

The examples I mentioned are not even marrying Somalis in their area. I think it can go both ways sometimes people who grow up in Somali dominated areas see the problems of our community and want to distance themselves while those who are more removed may have a more positive view simply due to lack of experience with the community beyond their own family members who may be great people.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

I kind of understand why ajnabi weddings are kept under wraps.
I remember a few years ago this Somali girl married a Japanese/Korean guy her pics were spread all across Somali websites, miskeen.

I used to look up to this girl when I was younger because she could marry out. She showed that you can be beautiful, loved, and appreciated and still marry who you love. Her wedding was high end and her mother attended, such a beautiful mother who wanted the best for her daughter. I hope my mom is that way too if I marry out.

 

[VixR]

The examples I mentioned are not even marrying Somalis in their area. I think it can go both ways sometimes people who grow up in Somali dominated areas see the problems of our community and want to distance themselves while those who are more removed may have a more positive view simply due to lack of experience with the community beyond their own family members who may be great people.

There's a flip side to that; those who're more removed are also more likely to mingle with their surroundings.

But what you're saying has merit. It fits my experience. I had a more positive, hopeful, maybe even naive view, and thought better of people.

 

[Prince of Lasanod]

They don't have weddings usually. Just an apple or two, and the girl lives in the guys parents garage.

 

[OmarLittle]

I was merely pointing out the distinction. It depends on what she marries, not that he's an ajnabi.

A White-Somali marriage will get a wedding.

A Madow-Somali marriage will likely not.

Heck, even with Somali guys, they impregnate madow girls and latinas, and don't get weddings, but baby mama status or tiny yard events

But the ones with White girls and Arabs get marriages.

Lol, that's interesting. But, are the women all the same quality and including the Somali men marrying them? Like for example, if a Somali Lawyer with great financial status marries an Indian Scientist, is that the same as the Somali Bus driver marrying a Black woman working at the local DMV? Or, are you saying high quality Somali guys are treating high quality AA women as shit?

 

[VixR]

Lol, that's interesting. But, are the women all the same quality and including the Somali men marrying them? Like for example, if a Somali Lawyer with great financial status marries an Indian Scientist, is that the same as the Somali Bus driver marrying a Black woman working at the local DMV? Or, are you saying high quality Somali guys are treating high quality AA women as shit?

I really think it comes down to the women demanding better. A man will skimp out where he can most times. But that communal perception also has something to do with it too.

For instance, an Afghan, fellow Somali, or Indian is less likely to be baby-mama'd pretty much by default, no matter the class she's in, than a White or Black girl. But the Black girl will get wagging tongues and malicious ppl by virtue of her madowness over the White girl.

This is from the ratchetness I've witnessed. Not an exact science.

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

I have noticed when Somali couples get married they throw a lavish wedding but when a Somali girl gets married to ajnabi they do it modest spend probably no more than a few hundred pounds, a meal for the girls family and it's a go.

 

[TheMadMullah]

I have noticed when Somali couples get married they throw a lavish wedding but when a Somali girl gets married to ajnabi they do it modest spend probably no more than a few hundred pounds, a meal for the girls family and it's a go.

Well it is because No Abu tyrone or Abu Roger will spend 5k on a wedding leave alone 30k.

If he is an atheist/christian it is even worse as he will spend zero

 

[Bahal]

They don't have weddings usually. Just an apple or two, and the girl lives in the guys parents garage.