What the F moment
- Thread starter SOULSEARCHING
- Start date
Technically in the deen, women can wear whatever they want at home; obviously this is within reason for both males and females, i.e., don't come downstairs dressed like the Macho Man Randy Savage when your ayeeyo is trying to have breakfast
If it makes you feel better, my grandpa didn't like my shirt once. I said ok, left the room for 15 minutes, came back with the same shirt. He didn't notice and/or care.
My theory is that at that exact intersection of time-space, something about my shirt pissed him off. Perhaps your father experienced the same phenomenon? Maybe he just didn't like your trousers? If they had a floral pattern, I could understand his rationale. Go back wearing the same pants later today and report your findings - this needs further study...
P.S. The lady in the photo above has about 20 cm of torso and 3 m of legs. She must run like a gazelle.
Sincerely,
The Macho Man Randy Savage
The opposite would be fathers like Donald Trump who called in on a show once and talked about the size of His daughter's boobs. He confessed how he would date her if she wasn't his daughter. Compare that to your Dad who advised you to be modest at home around your siblings. I think he cares about his kid's decency.
Modesty is not bad. Your father would have said nothing if you donned Dirac or Baati at home. They are more comfortable for women anyway.
Come on guys, regardless of what she wears, her parents are too hostile towards her.
3 years ago I found out my sister was using crack. Long story short she was reckless. She didn't want anyone to tell her how to live her life. She left home at 16 and started to flat with those who were like her, She even got married to a transgender. I found out about this when my parents begged her to come back home, and my mother was cleaning her room and she asked me what this envelope in my sister's draw was ?I opened it and my heart sunk. I didn't know how to react. It was a marriage certificate and I knew who the transgender was, she used to come over to our house and sleep over, I was disgusted and confused because I remembered how this girl use to sleep in bed with my sister but I didn't think they were up too no good.
I didn't even talk to my sister for 2 years and we lived in the same house. Now we kind of do. She thinks we forgot what she did and acts all holy and sinless. But my problem is my parents favour her more than me. She doses nothing in the house , I cook and clean. But my parents never ask her to do anything. And when i say no, there's a argument In the house .
My question is why are my parents like this ? They like her more than me .
This guy is her father's friend.
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/my-sister-is-crazy.65306/
So when my family lived in Ohio in 2006, we had a good friend of my dad who use to visit us often. The guy had issues going on with his wife , they eventually divorced and she moved to another state. But that's not the point of my story. This guy installed virus on our family computer and we always had to restart and remove the ography he used to view. It will just pop up and he was viewing this when we were around. I started to get scared of him because he used to look at me a lot, I remember I was wearing. Singlet and he was looking at my neck. I was 8 and he was probably in his mid 30's. Now I think of it this man was a perv. Thank God he moved to another state but 4 years ago my dad had no credit in his phone so he asked me "Sam Sam can I use your phone to make a important call" I was like sure dad. What I didn't know was he was calling that perv , I found out cause that molester texted me on whatsup app " hello beautiful"after a week.
Did you guys think he was a child molester/perv?
What's scary is my dad is friends with him and Dosen't know this man is dirty man.
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/should-i-be-worried.67174/
Do you think wearing a skirt is the major problem here?
3 years ago I found out my sister was using crack. Long story short she was reckless. She didn't want anyone to tell her how to live her life. She left home at 16 and started to flat with those who were like her, She even got married to a transgender. I found out about this when my parents begged her to come back home, and my mother was cleaning her room and she asked me what this envelope in my sister's draw was ?I opened it and my heart sunk. I didn't know how to react. It was a marriage certificate and I knew who the transgender was, she used to come over to our house and sleep over, I was disgusted and confused because I remembered how this girl use to sleep in bed with my sister but I didn't think they were up too no good.
I didn't even talk to my sister for 2 years and we lived in the same house. Now we kind of do. She thinks we forgot what she did and acts all holy and sinless. But my problem is my parents favour her more than me. She doses nothing in the house , I cook and clean. But my parents never ask her to do anything. And when i say no, there's a argument In the house .
My question is why are my parents like this ? They like her more than me .
This guy is her father's friend.
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/my-sister-is-crazy.65306/
So when my family lived in Ohio in 2006, we had a good friend of my dad who use to visit us often. The guy had issues going on with his wife , they eventually divorced and she moved to another state. But that's not the point of my story. This guy installed virus on our family computer and we always had to restart and remove the ography he used to view. It will just pop up and he was viewing this when we were around. I started to get scared of him because he used to look at me a lot, I remember I was wearing. Singlet and he was looking at my neck. I was 8 and he was probably in his mid 30's. Now I think of it this man was a perv. Thank God he moved to another state but 4 years ago my dad had no credit in his phone so he asked me "Sam Sam can I use your phone to make a important call" I was like sure dad. What I didn't know was he was calling that perv , I found out cause that molester texted me on whatsup app " hello beautiful"after a week.
Did you guys think he was a child molester/perv?
What's scary is my dad is friends with him and Dosen't know this man is dirty man.
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/should-i-be-worried.67174/
Do you think wearing a skirt is the major problem here?
You can never advise someone to disagree openly with their parents. The alternative to parents are people who ultimately will not care about you as much. Parents can be disagreebale and difficult to deal with, but their stubborness is offset by the tremendous sacrifice they made for us in life as children.
It does not hurt for this lady to dress in Dirac or Baati and go about her business. If she wants to walk naked or barely dressed, it is ideal to live by herself or with someone who wants her naked around them.
Just because you live with your blood relatives does not mean you make them uncomfortable walking around with minimal dress.
Specially if there are mixed gender in the house, it is best to dress modest. Dirac or Baati will do for the ladies.
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@ZakWantsToPlay
Look, have you read the rest of what I posted? Read again, if it is true what she is posting about her family, it's far bigger and more problematic than wearing a garmament. Have some patience to read it.
My reply wasn't to that particular post of yours. In general, advising people to disagree with their parents is not good unless there is physical and psychological harm they suffer from in their parent's hands.
We wouldn't do a favour to anybody to disconnect them from thier families. The alternative is always worse.
In opinion, from what I am reading from your current and previous posts, I do not want to disrespect a fellow Somali family, but i am saying that that this family is really dysfunctional or fake. I think that your best solution is returning to the deen, and when I mean that, I mean a full istakara in mosque and if you have the money go hajj. Ask Allah to ease your pains
But in the skirt issue, a baati or gogarad is not bad, meet your dad in the middle, since He is your dad at the end of the day. Even if the devil was my dad, i would not dare deny his words, even it it wrong or annoying!
But in the skirt issue, a baati or gogarad is not bad, meet your dad in the middle, since He is your dad at the end of the day. Even if the devil was my dad, i would not dare deny his words, even it it wrong or annoying!
@ZakWantsToPlay
So the Somali parents are happy having a drug addicted daughter and her wife/husband (married lesbians) living in their own house and do everything for them and yet, they have problems with the other daughter wearing pants? What is wrong with that picture?
While you should obey your parents (and I'm not equating this with the current example), sometimes parents can be wrong and in that case, you have an obligation to disobey if what they want runs contrary to the deen (whilst maintaining a respectful tone with them).
Case in point, Nabi Ibrahim (AS) was the son of someone who used to make idols - obviously he didn't agree with his father and ended up moving away as both his deen and personal safety were jeopardized. He continued to love and pray for his dad, but he went his own way.
I have to agree with Aussie on this in that there's something off about the entire home situation. Father's have a moral, religious, and at its most base form, a genetic obligation to protect their offspring, which unfortunately, many men (Somali and non-Somali) completely disregard by making their homes uncomfortable for their daughters so as to accommodate their own deadbeat, and sometimes, perverse friends. In my opinion, friends should vanish the moment you become a parent. Your focus should be your children. If you want friends, hopefully you have good siblings you can rely on. Otherwise, tough luck, parent your child and move on.
Case in point, Nabi Ibrahim (AS) was the son of someone who used to make idols - obviously he didn't agree with his father and ended up moving away as both his deen and personal safety were jeopardized. He continued to love and pray for his dad, but he went his own way.
I have to agree with Aussie on this in that there's something off about the entire home situation. Father's have a moral, religious, and at its most base form, a genetic obligation to protect their offspring, which unfortunately, many men (Somali and non-Somali) completely disregard by making their homes uncomfortable for their daughters so as to accommodate their own deadbeat, and sometimes, perverse friends. In my opinion, friends should vanish the moment you become a parent. Your focus should be your children. If you want friends, hopefully you have good siblings you can rely on. Otherwise, tough luck, parent your child and move on.
Selective application of what is expected of them. Many suffer from that across cultures. Same situation when somalis apply clan favoratism against the common good. It is hypocrisy. But at least the daughter gets annoyed about something that is good for her anyway. Sometimes a bad person can tell us to do something good for ourselves. Objecting to their advise on the basis of their screwed up life or hypocrisy is natural but unwise when you know what they are telling you is okay in the bigger picture.
No one is perfect.
@SOULSEARCHING you got a big booty by any chance
But I responded to your comment. And yes, I read her dad's friend who hit on her(assuming she was also a minor when he did that). She should tell her father if she is confident he will listen to her. If not, to her mom. Sometimes, and unfortunately, kids are ignored in favour of adults who are harmful untill it is too late. This situation requires a level of involvement that secures the girl's well being from the perv.
or if i wear a hat, a button down that i dont button, jeans. questions me when im kinda late like im some girl, questions my haircuts. We used to have roommates who were men, i would be shirtless and he would start lecturing me on covering myself infront of them niggas like.." Pops, we only live with men."
At this point i dont argue or talk to him when he starts that, i just listen and be on my way when he's done talking. im gonna get my own place soon.
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Galool
VIP
You're going to a mental hospital cuz your dad told you to wear a skirt instead of pants in the house
@ZakWantsToPlay
How about the dad inviting that friend to his home and watching where children are living? Some other member here mentioned that as a guest, he watched at his uncle's house and that he got so upset because he was busted by the wife, he hates her now and can't reflect on his mistakes and can't apologise to her. This guy is now a "moral guide" here. Is it common for Somali men to watch in other people's family home? Maybe, the nudity in the they watch triggers them how their daughters are dressed.
Or,
Pants Vs skirts are priorities gone wrong here.
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