Why are somali men so colorist ( Reddit post )

[Kalsoon]

Too many Somali women suffer from self-esteem issues and general self hate towards their community, I’ve noticed this especially with Somali women who grew up without father figures. They generally don’t have the ability to be self critical so they go after the community and blame them for their perceived imperfections and lack of self worth.

This usually comes out in the form of hating on Somali men for incoherent things like colourism (which does exist in the community but it isn’t gender specific at all) or lack of “good men” which obviously isn’t true as Somali men tend to be very pious and if they’re only around gangster abdis then they’re telling on themselves. Another excuse I’ve heard is that they’re too sexist which also doesn’t make sense cause Somali men tend to love and care for the females in the community more than any ajnabi ever could, and honestly they tend to be very care free in terms of how controlling they’re of the women when it comes to Muslim communities in the west, never heard of a Somali honor killing ever.

In the end of the day a lot of Somali women who marry out tend to actually have a weird sense of superiority towards the Somali community and Somali men while also ironically having deep self-esteem issues and projecting it out towards others they think wronged them, the Somali men who marry out also tend to be like this btw.

If you want to marry ajnabi then please leave the Somali community alone, we don’t need trauma dumping and excuses as to why you couldn’t marry a Somali man as it reeks of insecurity. I’m telling you it’s the Somali women who grew up with fathers/father figures in the Somali community who are the healthiest/most attractive Xalimos by far, they don’t come with this weird sense of a need to attack the community and the men in the community and have the best marriages with their husbands.

Btw, as a Somali man who’s lighter than average for the community and related to family who are majority light skin I actually find darker/aravage skin on Somali women to be most attractive. And I’ve noticed that a lot of my distant relatives who are male and lighter skin are married to darker skin Somali women.

Haven’t you stated that you married out yourself? Are you the guy with the Moroccan wife?

You are speaking in generalities just like the op. Making a lot of negative assumptions about a group as well. Gender wars aren’t the way forward for our community. Each side should focus on fixing themselves instead of always pointing fingers.

Lack of a father in a women’s life can greatly impact her but she can still overcome it and shouldn’t stigmatized because her dad wasn’t present. Trauma is something that can be overcome.

 

[Ahmedaden07]

I’m not disregarding that colourism is definitely on the cards, but I believe Somali men are more featurist if anything. Then again that’s Somalis as a whole

 

[Abdirazaq]

Haven’t you stated that you married out yourself? Are you the guy with the Moroccan wife?

You are speaking in generalities just like the op. Making a lot of negative assumptions about a group as well. Gender wars aren’t the way forward for our community. Each side should focus on fixing themselves instead of always pointing fingers.

Lack of a father in a women’s life can greatly impact her but she can still overcome it and shouldn’t stigmatized because her dad wasn’t present. Trauma is something that can be overcome.

No, I’m not the morrocan wife guy

When speaking about why certain groups act a particular way you have to make generalities to come to a theory as to why they act that way, that’s the whole point and a lot of negative assumptions are made due to the fact that a lot of negativity tends to find itself in certain circles that you can identify, it’s a no brainier that negativity breeds negativity.

Again I didn’t say women without fathers are finished with no hope, I merely stated femcel Somalis tend to have historically bad interactions with the male adults in the community when they were young with a big factor being fatherlessness, I believe they’re over represented when it comes to Somali women who desire to marry out, I’m just making certain links based on my observations. And yes, these types of Somali women also tend to have self-esteem issues, mental/physical health issues and overall tend to be less attractive as a mate compared to the healthier Somali women without these issues.

If I had to psychoanalyze this group even further I’d suspect that they lash out at the people in their community (men in particular) as a way to project their self-hatred in order not to deal with their own sense of worthlessness, they’ll also likely want to marry out due to them feeling as if another unrelated community of people can save them from their woes and make them feel confident and secure, but that’s likely to fail when you’re the problem and not the community.

Btw the same can be said about the incels in the Somali community, however the difference is that these incels will hide their identity cause they know that their behaviour is pathetic, or at least society will tell them that and that they need to fix up their own life instead of blaming everything else (personal responsibility), the femcels on the other hand get much more acceptance in communities due to women woes and general issues being much more externalized (women generally bond much better over shared experiences and do much better when they can come together to deal with their issues). Femcels take advantage of this and are better at tricking communities into thinking their personal issues are actually the communities fault, not their own and most can potentially go through life thinking everything is everyone else’s fault and not their own due to nobody telling them about personal responsibility.