Why dont Somali men spend more time with their kids?

[IGotDaAnswers]

Pretty much all Somali fathers I've known (including my own) spent very little time with their kids. In fact I resented kids who had fathers they could spend time with. I still think about that as a 30 year old. I love kids so much that it puzzles me why any parent wouldn't like to be around them as much as what you would expect in a normal family.

Even more you will hear about fathers who want back to Somalia for years for some business while abandoning his entire family, then suddenly return. And sometimes in a divorce the kids wont see their father ever again.

My father just didn’t give much of a f*ck about me growing up, he got off to physically abusing me and publicly humiliating me.
He only started to love about me once i started making good money, now he’s wants to guide me down the right path and teach me how to be a “man”
Seems very sus to me, what can a made nigga teach me about manhood ??

 

[KobeBryant]

You niggas all got daddy issues

 

[Basra]

Pretty much all Somali fathers I've known (including my own) spent very little time with their kids. In fact I resented kids who had fathers they could spend time with. I still think about that as a 30 year old. I love kids so much that it puzzles me why any parent wouldn't like to be around them as much as what you would expect in a normal family.

Even more you will hear about fathers who want back to Somalia for years for some business while abandoning his entire family, then suddenly return. And sometimes in a divorce the kids wont see their father ever again.

Recently i saw a Somali father with his family in a Cadaan restaurant. I was being nosey. Father, mother, small todler baby girl-around 2 year old, 12-14 year old boy & and 10-12 year old girl. The boy was playing with his toddler sister so lovingly, even making his mom smile. He carried her up to his waist. The father screamed and yelled at him. Put her down. And the boy got scared right away and put his little baby sister down. Then the father ordered the older daughter to carry her sister. The son was yelled at and told to be ashamed of himself.


@Distant1 Thats a feri feri good example right there lool

 

[KobeBryant]

Recently i saw a Somali father with his family in a Cadaan restaurant. I was being nosey. Father, mother, small todler baby girl-around 2 year old, 12-14 year old boy & and 10-12 year old girl. The boy was playing with his toddler sister so lovingly, even making his mom smile. He carried her up to his waist. The father screamed and yelled at him. Put her down. And the boy got scared right away and put his little baby sister down. Then the father ordered the older daughter to carry her sister. The son was yelled at and told to be ashamed of himself.


@Distant1 Thats a feri feri good example right there lool

Asc Basra how r u walal.

 

[Basra]

Asc Basra how r u walal.

Lately i am happy as this one

 

[cawaale]

Pretty much all Somali fathers I've known (including my own) spent very little time with their kids. In fact I resented kids who had fathers they could spend time with. I still think about that as a 30 year old. I love kids so much that it puzzles me why any parent wouldn't like to be around them as much as what you would expect in a normal family.

Even more you will hear about fathers who want back to Somalia for years for some business while abandoning his entire family, then suddenly return. And sometimes in a divorce the kids wont see their father ever again.

Different levels of testosterone sxb. Your dad had enough testosterone to marry a girl, have kids, and abandon them. He knew he could start another family easily. You have so little testosterone your on a forum calacaling about him. If you are so better why don’t you have your own kids and prove him wrong?

 

[ReerVanCadde]

This entire topic is a complete joke.
100% the wife's fault if she can't get her husband to stick around with her buuq and nonsense what type of wife is she?
Calacal and complain is what awaits a man so he might as well save himself for the sake of his sanity.

 

[KobeBryant]

Lately i am happy as this one

View attachment 173179

dictators the backbone of Africa

 

[ReerVanCadde]

I often go to these shopping malls and see a Somali couple married for a few years.
It's always the wife bouncing around, looking at the ingredients of toothpaste whereas the guy looks downtrodden.
It's like they are all vampires that suck a guys life force literally. The man becomes a shell of his past youthful exuberance.
Protect yourselves.

 

[ReerVanCadde]

Has to be some boundaries, work time, my time, kids time and then wifey time and in that order.

 

[HiraanBorn]

My father wasn't the most affectionate and he abused most of our family. My mother was the only one who tried to keep the family together and provide for us, my older brother got in trouble on the street and left the country because of his issues with the family and my father.

My father tried to come back into our lives and he especially tried to guide me in a way he didn't my elder brother but I'd say the damage was done and I wasn't receptive to his efforts tbh.

In the end, I realised it was up to me to make myself a man but I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time wlh. I won't give up though, I'll keep my heart close to the deen and forge ahead.

 

[Lostbox]

What had the role of the father become today? The role didn't feel like half the value then the role of the mother.

Apart absence father's and deadbeat. The biggest complaint you'll hear is part time fathers. You can't play your role when mommy is play both roles...

I'm not excusing these men. Just pointing out the obvious

 

[Mercury]

Here's a thought maybe they themselves where raised by an absent father and never realized the importance of having an involved parent

I believe as Somali men we need to look at how we were brought up and see the mistakes of our fathers and uncles and not repeat them

 

[ReerVanCadde]

The father has no place in modern society. I don't blame father's or uncles for jumping out in the name of self preservation.

 

[Mercury]

This entire topic is a complete joke.
100% the wife's fault if she can't get her husband to stick around with her buuq and nonsense what type of wife is she?
Calacal and complain is what awaits a man so he might as well save himself for the sake of his sanity.

Why does the wife have to make you stick around that sounds very childish

 

[Distant1]

Here's a thought maybe they themselves where raised by an absent father and never realized the importance of having an involved parent

I believe as Somali men we need to look at how we were brought up and see the mistakes of our fathers and uncles and not repeat them

Very true, its only after i saw what other kids experienced that i knew what i missed

 

[Saredo]

Different levels of testosterone sxb. Your dad had enough testosterone to marry a girl, have kids, and abandon them. He knew he could start another family easily.

A man who abandons his kids is a coward. Allah swt will question him about his responsibilities as a father.

 

[inflorescence]

Why does the wife have to make you stick around that sounds very childish

that type of mindset reminded me of this post:

 

[Boogie]

Why do u all got aabo issues then try to project it onto us

 

[Lostbox]

Why do u all got aabo issues then try to project it onto us

If you see an healthy adult or even a teenage not functioning well. 90% their problems started in their childhood and their parents.

A child development play a huge role for the rest of their life