Why dont Somali men spend more time with their kids?

[Revolutionary]

You have comprehension issues. They do not have the luxury not to be around their kids when they are not working.

We are talking about distant fathers who spend little time around their kids not because they work, but because when they are NOT working they would rather spend time with their mates at the local maqaayad. Women do not have that luxury.

Read and stop finding ways to twist what i'm saying.

Can a hooyo work for several hours and then go out with her girls most days gossiping? No they come home and cook and clean, get the kids to do homework.

Glad you've changed what you've said earlier and added "when they are not working". I've already said I've agreed with the premise that the types of dads you've mentioned above should be spending more time with their kids, what I've said is that in their free time they typically have different ways in communicating with others, such as friends, relatives etc, and that it would be easier to do both at the same time when one is at home.

Like i keep saying, this is a no brainer and you're just arguing for the sake of arguing and putting words in my mouth, and getting mad at things I've never said, to get brownie points from others

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

@Mercury loves these threads so he can attack Somali men.

 

[Boogie]

All these threads do is paint somali men as da villain and the somali women as hero for bait

And sprinkle projection and generalizing and you got a trending thread

 

[Revolutionary]

All these threads do is paint somali men as da villain and the somali women as hero for bait

And sprinkle projection and generalizing and you got a trending thread

The funny thing is that im not even disagreeing with the thread at all, I've pointed something out and they go into a frenzy figuring out how they can reinterpret it and have all the others clap like a bunch of seals

 

[Angelina]

Its 2021, a lot of women I know work and look after kids. Stop making excuses. I have women in my family who are in the medical field and they still raise their kids

We are not in the 1950s wtf.

The whole point is that when these men are not working, during their free time, they prefer being around their friends rather than their kids. Working mum's don't have that luxury.

@Revolutionary

I said it earlier.

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

I spend many hours a day with my son and will do the same with my expectant child. Monday to Friday. On the weekends he stays with my mother or my in laws. I need time to breathe and rest but he needs the time to know his grandparents. Women from the previous generation love to be caregivers. I will have him stay for all of June and July and August with them as well since there are other children he can interact with. Somali fathers deserve awards. just because a few had Somali fathers who are absent doesn't mean its the same as 99% of them. Whoever said daddy issues is right.

 

[Revolutionary]

@Revolutionary

I said it earlier.

My main point was explaining a possible reason as to why that may be the case in some fathers

 

[Desert Flower]

@Distant1 If you're looking for honest answers, you most likely won't find it here. Its an issue that many are more than happy to sweep under the rug.

 

[cawaale]

@Distant1 If you're looking for honest answers, you most likely won't find it here. Its an issue that many are more than happy to sweep under the rug.

Abaayo only things getting sweeped under the rug are dust and people like you, distant is a youth trying to find himself, I wish him luck, in this generation he might even become a xalimo I can hit on. Your a grown woman, stop negatively influencing people younger than you.

 

[Desert Flower]

Abaayo only things getting sweeped under the rug are dust and people like you, distant is a youth trying to find himself, I wish him luck, in this generation he might even become a xalimo I can hit on. Your a grown woman, stop negatively influencing people younger than you.

Shouldn't you be busy searching Muzmatch for naive, underaged chicks? Don't ever message me again.

 

[Halimo-2018]

Shouldn't you be busy searching Muzmatch for naive, underaged chicks? Don't ever message me again.

rusheeye igu so dhace

 

[bluebird]

they don't know how to, no one ever spent time with them.

mothering I think is a bit more innate.

 

[cawaale]

Shouldn't you be busy searching Muzmatch for naive, underaged chicks? Don't ever message me again.

If you got money you can go back home, if your broke you can go on muzmatch, if your truely desperate your on somalispot

 

[Ferrari]

because

 

[Leila]

There are reasons to abandon your kids in the west as a somali father. 95%+ of somali marriages aren’t registered. Somali dads work 80+ hours weeks as uber drivers or security guards. The house they come home to isn’t theirs, it’s social housing provided to a “single mum with 5 children”. Obviously this fat xalimo isn’t single. She got a hard working husband. One day she lets the benefits get to her head and starts a toxic argument with her man. The farax has been working so long and living there illegally, when she gets toxic he dips, cause he doesn’t want the tax man to find out.

This is different in third world america where the government chases the man to pay reparations.

That kind of marriage is doomed from the start , a woman claiming her children are from her boyfriends is haram. Thats why divorce is so common and the children If these families often turn out to be very troubled .

Alhamdullilah i’m so grateful I was raised by a hard working father who provided for his family , he went to work until he was 65 .

 

[Mercury]

@Mercury loves these threads so he can attack Somali men.

Im just being truthful on what our community need to fix up on the question is why do you see this as an attack?

If you're not a deadbeat parent you shouldn't be offended by anything I say in my eyes a deadbeat dad is a disgrace and we shouldn't condone such behaviour in the somali community

if the roles where reversed and a mother neglects her kids and not spending time with them everyone would call her a bad mom same thing applies you can’t have certain expectations from women and set very low expectations for Somali men

 

[Mercury]

I spend many hours a day with my son and will do the same with my expectant child. Monday to Friday. On the weekends he stays with my mother or my in laws. I need time to breathe and rest but he needs the time to know his grandparents. Women from the previous generation love to be caregivers. I will have him stay for all of June and July and August with them as well since there are other children he can interact with. Somali fathers deserve awards. just because a few had Somali fathers who are absent doesn't mean its the same as 99% of them. Whoever said daddy issues is right.

So you need 2 whole days without your kid around to breath and rest?

 

[Maxaa kaa galay]

Im a girl, and the youngest, so naturally the apple of my dads eyes. My brothers have a ... ‘different’ relationship with him.

But yes Somali dads in the diaspora should do better.

Its like that, the boys get more along with the mothers, and the girls more with the fathers

 

[Maxaa kaa galay]

Whenever there is a snowfall, my cadaan neighbour who is shoveling is always accompanied by his little daughter with her useless kid's shovel making his job go even longer because she spreads the snow around the shoveled area. He has a snow blower but doesn't use it. He prefers to shovel with his kid. Cadaans will spend time with their kids in any scenario but its important bonding.

The cadaan are @gods gift to mankind” soo ma’aha

 

[salma saluuni]

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