Yaab! 30 year old Farax wants advice from xalimos on how to tell wife #1 he wants a second wife.

[Angelina]

What definently happens often are requests to marry a second wife (or first wife) if you're vacationing in Somalia and even in the west once you hit your late 20s or early 30s. Second wives come into the conversation at that age. They will decline the second wife offers though. Aunts and uncles provide the biggest (or only pressure) when it comes to second wives, never your parents or siblings. You should not visit Somalia without your wife or kids.

This guy is incredibly stupid though. Her father just wants to use him. How does he not see that?

He sees it, but lust has blinded him. Poverty back home is rife and I’ve heard of enough fathers offering their daughters up for polygamous unions so that the fathers have one less mouth to feed and their daughter gets a steady paycheck from her Western husband, meanwhile it’s his children in the West who will pick up the pieces as their dad is away months at a time.

 

[Yaraye]

She's only 27 with only 2 children. She's young and still has a huge chance to remarry again. my mother had 3 children with my father and remarried twice after him. There are men out there. Hope the best for her

 

[Angelina]

Not all faraxs. Barely practicing western integrated Somali guys would never consider this or even find it appealing. It's obvious many religious/cultured Somali guys don't love their wives and see marriage as a transaction.

It’s because religious Faraxs are exposed to the idea of polygamy being their God-given rights and since they believe it is ‘God’ ordained they think that trumps the health of the family and even the well-being of their kids. I see that a lot with some Salafi, even the speakers. Common sense and emotional intelligence goes out the window and sometimes the Quranic ethos of aqal and rahma also disappears. It’s interesting to observe.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

He sees it, but lust has blinded him. Poverty back home is rife and I’ve heard of enough fathers offering their daughters up for polygamous unions so that the fathers have one less mouth to feed and their daughter gets a steady paycheck from her Western husband, meanwhile it’s his children in the West who will pick up the pieces as their dad is away months at a time.

If you want a second wife, it's best to have moved to Somalia with your first wife from the very beginning. Don't bring this mentality here as it doesn't work and causes family and societal problems. This has now become a generational issue. Can you imagine your grandkids being suckered into such arrangements?

I personally stopped sending remittances after last month after like 5 years of doing so. I send it to the food bank in my city and I get a tax receipt now lol. Having more than a spiritual connection to Somalia just causes personal problems in your life. It started to create an issue for me. Integrating in the west could have resolved many of Somali peoples' problems like family dysfunction.

 

[El Nino]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

If a person seriously thinks about getting a 2nd wife, he wouldn’t consult the help of R/Somalia. It could be possible that this is true but Im very sceptical.

 

[jemappelle]

This same topic was posted last year https://www.somalispot.com/threads/...ut-burning-bridges-with-the-first-one.128037/
You guys need to find new stuff to talk about

 

[OhMan]

Who plans for a second wife and thinks "hmm let me run it by r/somalia first"
Now you lot are gonna make a 10 page thread over some bored faraax trolling

 

[jemappelle]

In the words of the great Kariis Baraawn, “These Faraxs ain’t loyal.”

Even after wifey gave him 2 children and they had a happy marriage… he gets married when on vacation.

How is he not loyal? He's still married to her

 

[jemappelle]

Who plans for a second wife and thinks "hmm let me run it by r/somalia first"
Now you lot are gonna make a 10 page thread over some bored faraax trolling

No man with a second wife is on reddit anyway. Its probably some 15 year old kid trolling

 

[jemappelle]

Fake story

 

[Angelina]

If you want a second wife, it's best to have moved to Somalia with your first wife from the very beginning. Don't bring this mentality here as it doesn't work and causes family and societal problems. This has now become a generational issue.

They never will because they need their cushy Western jobs and lifestyle which allows them to go back home and marry again. The vast majority of men cannot practice polygamy properly because they simply can’t afford it.

I personally stopped sending remittances after last month after like 5 years of doing so. I send it to the food bank in my city and I get a tax receipt now lol. Having more than a spiritual connection to Somalia just causes personal problems in your life. It started to create an issue for me. Integrating in the west could have resolved many of Somali peoples' problems like family dysfunction.

How is he not loyal? He's still married to her

no, he isn’t loyal whatsoever. Rushing into a polygamous marriage with a woman half way across the world shows he not only has 0 loyalty towards his wife but also his kids.

How is he meant to treat them equally? How are his kids going to fare when he is months on end away? He didn’t think of that. Why? Because he put his lust before his family. A loyal man that wants to be polygamous will think about the pros and cons, talks his wife about the adjusted situation and think about how he could still see his children most days.

One of the biggest lie sold to men is that polygamy is their right. It isnt, it’s a privilege for men that can afford it and have the time to do so. Many neither have the time nor money, but they’ve allowed their entitlement into thinking that this is God ordained.

 

[jemappelle]

Wife current mood + child support

Another day of this cheater taking L

How is he a cheater?
Plus child support doesn't happen if u didn't get legally married.
Win Win for farax

 

[jemappelle]

They never will because they need their cushy Western jobs and lifestyle which allows them to go back home and marry again. The vast majority of men cannot practice polygamy properly because they simply can’t afford it.




no, he isn’t loyal whatsoever. Rushing into a polygamous marriage with a woman half way across the world shows he not only has 0 loyalty towards his wife but also his kids.

How is he meant to treat them equally? How are his kids going to fare when he is months on end away? He didn’t think of that. Why? Because he put his lust before his family.

One of the biggest lie sold to men is that polygamy is their right. It isnt, it’s a privilege for men that can afford it and have the time to do so. Many neither have the time nor money, but they’ve allowed their entitlement into thinking that this is God ordained.

Its not about loyalty then its about responsibility

 

[Shimbiris]

This story truly saddened me and I have important tidings for the man's first wife to help her through these trying times and furthermore help make sense of this harrowing situation:

Thoughts, prayers and love to thy troubled child of God. Amiin.

 

[jemappelle]

How is he meant to treat them equally? How are his kids going to fare when he is months on end away? He didn’t think of that. Why? Because he put his lust before his family.

You don't know his full family situation, alot of men have to travel for work months on end anyway, and they make it work. Plus this entire post is probably fake and used to trigger people, I don't believe it

 

[Angelina]

Its not about loyalty then its about responsibility

It is loyalty. If someone is loyal, they put you first. This man is clearly only putting himself first.

 

[hinters]

Shouldn't have told liberal r/Somalia.

 

[jemappelle]

It is loyalty. If someone is loyal, they put you first. This man is clearly only putting himself first.

Loyalty is about being loyal to the person you are with and not betraying them or backstabing them.

 

[Angelina]

You don't know his full family situation, alot of men have to travel for work months on end anyway, and they make it work. Plus this entire post is probably fake and used to trigger people, I don't believe it

Working months on end isn’t a luxury. It is an adjustment families need to endure for the sake of having food on the table. Usually, it’s temporary and the goal is for the wife to move to where the husband is. Also, its a sacrifice of her Islamic rights since a man cannot be away for more than 4 months.

Can we say the same about polygamy? No. He doesn’t have to marry from abroad, hence putting a strain on his family.

 

[jemappelle]

Also I doubt this guy hasn't commit zina before, your lust cannot control your decisions that much if you are marrying a girl after thinking she looks pretty for a couple weeks.