Yaab! 30 year old Farax wants advice from xalimos on how to tell wife #1 he wants a second wife.

[jemappelle]

Working months on end isn’t a luxury. It is an adjustment families need to endure for the sake of having food on the table. Usually, it’s temporary and the goal is for the wife to move to where the husband is. Also, such is making a sacrifice of her Islamic rights since a man cannot be away for more than 4 months.

Can we say the same about polygamy? No. He doesn’t have to marry from abroad, hence putting a strain on his family.

4 months is a average set by scholars, it isn't fixed. Different families have different dynamics, he could visit every 2 months,or he could bring the girl over to wherever he is at (dont know how the visas work in his country)
also this is most defintly a troll post, cos I don't think a guy on reddit will do something as stupid as this then post it, it is clearly a troll

 

[Angelina]

4 months is a average set by scholars, it isn't fixed.

4 months is the absolute limit. Women need a husband, similarly to how a man needs a wife.

how fair is it for a man to have a relationship all year around and the wife is s struggling and raising the kids on her own. That is the norm in poly marriages and it’s terrible. Also, I’ve seen fatwas in which scholars saying that polygamous marriages in different countries infringes upon the rights of the wife.

Different families have different dynamics, he could visit every 2 months,or he could bring the girl over to wherever he is at (dont know how the visas work in his country)

The vast majority of men cannot do that. If they had the money to being buying tickets every two months, they’d try and find a 2nd wife in the West.

Also, most won’t and cannot bring their 2nd wife as polygamy is banned and also their might be other sneaky ways, but they’re not going to take that risk because they know that if they brought the wife to the west, she’d leave.

also this is most defintly a troll post, cos I don't think a guy on reddit will do something as stupid as this then post it, it is clearly a troll

 

[jemappelle]

Women need a husband,

They don't.

similarly to how a man needs a wife.

He doesn't

how fair is it for a man to have a relationship all year around and the wife is s struggling and raising the kids on her own. That is the norm in poly marriages and it’s terrible. Also, I’ve seen fatwas in which scholars saying that polygamous marriages in different countries infringes upon the rights of the wife.

1.He could hire a babysitter or a maid or whatever
2.He could bring his wife over to US so he can spend time with his kids
There are lots of ways to make it work.

The vast majority of men cannot do that. If they had the money to being buying tickets every two months, they’d try and find a 2nd wife in the West.

We aren't talking about the vast majority we are talking about a hypothetical situation(because this one isn't true). He could have the money to do that.

Also, most won’t and cannot bring their 2nd wife as polygamy is banned and also their might be other sneaky ways, but they’re not going to take that risk because they know that if they brought the wife to the west, she’d leave.

Polgyny isn't banned in the west official legal marriage to multiple people is banned, you can have multiple wives Islamically without a legal marriage.
Also his hypothetical wife is going to leave anyway as soon as she hears he married this girl. Even if he doesn't tell her she will eventually find out and will divorce him, he has lost either way

 

[DubatDiaries]

I doubt this story is true, but if it is... his wife will probably leave him or this will cause so much tension/hate in his marriage he might as well leave. I don't think I've seen healthy relationship dynamics in any polygamous marriage in the West (even in Somalia tbh).
Polygamous marriages are so emotionally exhausting - good luck to him.

 

[Diaspora ambassador]

He should have stipulated it in the marriage documents.

The wife has a choice either stay or divorce. If he brings this info to her, he will deff rock his marriage. However the farax is financially well off. That makes things a bit tricky. He didn't do anything wrong yet. Except skyrocketing the blood pressure of some xalimos .

A anctual mom also considers her kids and some of these xalimos are hypocrites .

 

[Ahmed123-]

What an honorable brother! He's doing the right thing! More ethnic Somali babies need to be born!!!! Somalis are langaab as hell. I doubt there are even 30 million Somalis in the world. Every farax that has the means should take a second and third wife and produce as many baby faraxs and xalimos he can provide for. We need as many people as possible so we can throw them into factories to escape the failed state allegations; we have to be like the Han Chinese; these niggas are certified go-getters.

 

[Strawberry]

How is he a cheater?
Plus child support doesn't happen if u didn't get legally married.
Win Win for farax

“one of my cousins cousins (again not my side of the family) caught my eye. I can’t even describe her beauty mashallah. However I’m a married man so I just acted like nothing.”

“In the coming days we were spending a lot of time together tending to their granddad and we were talking a bit. She was really shy, however i could tell that she liked me.”
“So i decided to call the girls father and asked for her daughters hand and we started to arrange everything”

whay don’t you not understand???? not only that he knew he was wrong that is why he is worried how his wife is going to reacting !!! he should have talked with her about the possibility of second wife without bringing the situation in hargaisa!! But no he decided being a pr!ck

finally he broke the rule for
“Lowering the gaze (ghadd al-basr) means restraining the gaze and not allowing it to wander or dwell upon anything.”

 

[jemappelle]

“one of my cousins cousins (again not my side of the family) caught my eye. I can’t even describe her beauty mashallah. However I’m a married man so I just acted like nothing.”

“In the coming days we were spending a lot of time together tending to their granddad and we were talking a bit. She was really shy, however i could tell that she liked me.”
“So i decided to call the girls father and asked for her daughters hand and we started to arrange everything”

whay don’t you not understand???? not only that he knew he was wrong that is why he is worried how his wife is going to reacting !!! he should have talked with her about the possibility of second wife without bringing the situation in hargaisa!! But no he decided being a pr!ck

finally he broke the rule for
“Lowering the gaze (ghadd al-basr) means restraining the gaze and not allowing it to wander or dwell upon anything.”

he didn't cheat, cheating means adultery.

 

[Barni]

I feel like the ruling on men being able to marry up to 4 wives is just a leeway for cheating.

 

[jemappelle]

I feel like the ruling on men being able to marry up to 4 wives is just a leeway for cheating.

Don't talk about the deen like that

 

[Awad]

Dude just wants to be like his adeer
Alas he grew up in the wrong place, should have seen it coming

 

[Abdisamad]

This is why marrying a farax is scary. Let him out of your sight for too long and he’ll go find a second wife like it’s nothing. I feel bad for his wife. I don’t think he ever truly loved her, she was just “good for now” and he was always waiting for the next best thing

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[jemappelle]

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cadaans have sidechicks not second wives, its very rare to have second wives for cadaan, most likely caddan guy will have a side girl he deals with but he wont tell you about it so its calm

 

[Abdisamad]

cadaans have sidechicks not second wives, its very rare to have second wives for cadaan, most likely caddan guy will have a side girl he deals with but he wont tell you about it so its calm

This guy was married in both countries

 

[jemappelle]

This guy was married in both countries

hes a weirdo, thats a one off situation though.

 

[Abdisamad]

hes a weirdo, thats a one off situation though.

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[jemappelle]

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thats like 0.5% of them. The vast majority of cadaans are just normal ppl, obviouslyu I would say 40% are cheaters/sidegirls, the other 60% are just normal

 

[Magan95]

What an honorable brother! He's doing the right thing! More ethnic Somali babies need to be born!!!! Somalis are langaab as hell. I doubt there are even 30 million Somalis in the world. Every farax that has the means should take a second and third wife and produce as many baby faraxs and xalimos he can provide for. We need as many people as possible so we can throw them into factories to escape the failed state allegations; we have to be like the Han Chinese; these niggas are certified go-getters.

My brother I felt your energy. That was a beautiful Speech.

So what you’re saying is we need a Mao Ze Farax?

 

[Ahmed123-]

My brother I felt your energy. That was a beautiful Speech.

So what you’re saying is we need a Mao Ze Farax?

Yes, sister I nominate myself to take the position. All I ask for in return is one wife from each of the four major clans: Issaq, Darood, Rahanweyn and Hawiye.
I will create my own version of the secret police, run by my subclan and the armed minority clans that will be loyal to my cause.

I will encourage the youth to abandon qabilism and encourage patriotism. I will create a generation loyal to me and my cause

 

[Recovering]

I’m beginning to think a lot of men aren’t really in love with their wives or that men can simply love a woman and desire other women. But ultimately, a man that truly loves his wife, will put her and the kids first and anyone with half a brain can see that having a wife on a completely different continent is just going to tear down the relationship. It’s just dumb. Look at our kids? Prison, LGTB, delinquency and the list goes on whilst dad is back home living it up. Forget loving the wife, the real question is, do they even love their kids?

man thats sad