35 year old woman and 50 year old man.

[Nin123]

When people who are young in the first world say they are attracted to older men they often don't mean significantly older. A middle aged man unless he looks young or handsome is not the picture of loveliness. Money is attractive to some I suppose. How about you devise a poll asking if people are open to large age gaps and see how receptive they are? Or better yet look at average age gaps of married couples. It likely isn't 15-20 years on average.

How do you know all of them feel the same way? Not all young people think the same
Some may like older men. You are just generalizing.

 

[Moon-]

How do you know all of them feel the same way? Not all young people think the same
Some may like older men. You are just generalizing.

we do only fobs would marry an odey

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

My parents had this age gap. Here were the differences, though:

- Top percentile in handsomeness/good looks.
- Looked younger than their peer group.
- Ethical, moral character.
- Not previously married and no children.
- More educated than most.
- Had resources.

Let is not go around exclaiming that people are the same. Some possess attributes that aren't very commonplace. How many do you know that fit that description? Few. Certain traits must set someone apart to make them worth the investment.

So basically you're saying you're a top 0.1% Somali specimen

 

[Nin123]

we do only fobs would marry an odey

What about young girls who into sugar daddies?

 

[Sophisticate]

So basically you're saying you're a top 0.1% Somali specimen

How did you deduce that about me? All I gave was a real life example.
My point stands. If you are significantly older you have to have comparatively more to offer. How is that difficult to fathom?

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

How did you deduce that about me? All I gave was a real life example.
My point stands. If you are significantly older you have to have comparatively more to offer. How is that difficult to fathom?

Sure sure princess diana

 

[Sophisticate]

Sure sure princess diana

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[Man with a garuun]

is that too old of age gap? lol

Focus on eman, not on age.

 

[Ladylike]

No. This guy is 60 and all of is 4 wives are in there 30s.

View attachment 320857

He has 0 chance with me his attitude sucks

 

[Ladylike]

Why on earth would you get married to a 50 year old unless its for the money.

Life is not black and white. What’s wrong with money?

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

Life is not black and white. What’s wrong with money?

WHT is everyone on here so cynical no one believes in jacayl. A woman could fall for a man who's in his 50s just because she likes him ot doesn't have to be anything superficial agah

 

[Ladylike]

A 50 yr old man is old enough to be your dad. If that’s what you’re into, then go for it.
Btw, whilst 35 isn’t young, it’s a lot younger than 50, that’s for sure. Some of these delusional men are going to try and convince you that 50 for a man isn’t old, that’s not true.

He cannot be my dad. He was a child when I was born. Anywho, how he treats me wine me over. Men my age from my experience did nothing for me except lie, waste my time by entertaining other women etc at least I know what i am getting with this. He has no time for games.

 

[Ladylike]

WHT is everyone on here so cynical no one believes in jacayl. A woman could fall for a man who's in his 50s just because she likes him ot doesn't have to be anything superficial agah

Exactly. Not everyone has an agenda.

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

Exactly. Not everyone has an agenda.

@Mudug_gyal see marriage is more than a financial transaction

 

[Angelina]

He cannot be my dad. He was a child when I was born. Anywho, how he treats me wine me over. Men my age from my experience did nothing for me except lie, waste my time by entertaining other women etc at least I know what i am getting with this. He has no time for games.

The Most important thing is that YOU are happy. Life is short, hence don't care about the opinions of others. People don't know the in's and out's of your relationship and if this man treats you with the utmost respect and this is what you want, then go for it. This older man could very well be your calaf. Maybe the main reason why guys your age didn't treat you the way you wanted was because it may have been Allah's plan all along that you'd consider and marry this man instead. Fate is an interesting thing and I've noticed whenever something didn't work out, It was because Allah had something else in store for me. Due to how positively you are describing this man, he could very well be the positive thing Allah has in store for you MashaAllah.

My advice? Pray Istikhara and proceed from there. You're 35, you're old enough to know what benefits you and what doesn't, hence as a sister in Islam I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck and I hope to hear about a wedding soon!

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Be very very very careful sis.

You could end up with a grumpy old man, who is too tired to do things. You are not in the same stage in life and never will be.

35-50
40-55
45- 60
50-65

Research what tends to happen to men in those age-ranges. Unless he is the exception and is extremely fit, healthy, energetic and so forth. And there are also fertility issues with old man sperm.

Unless he is rich, what is there to gain? He is nice? Ok. He has to be nice, he is an old man trying to attract a much younger woman.
You can meet a younger man that is decent, trust Allah SWT.

He is an oday, you are in the prime of your life. Pray istikharah to make your decision. Good luck.

 

[Angelina]

Be very very very careful sis.

You could end up with a grumpy old man, who is too tired to do things. You are not in the same stage in life and never will be.

35-50
40-55
45- 60
50-65

Research what tends to happen to men in those age-ranges. Unless he is the exception and is extremely fit, healthy, energetic and so forth. And there are also fertility issues with old man sperm.

Unless he is rich, what is there to gain?

True, that was my initial thinking as well but at 35, I'd think most women know what they want and she's weighed up the pros and cons and it does seem like she's tried courting her age group, but it didn't work out. As long as someone is very aware of the consequences then I'd say crack on. The only thing I'd worry about is that she might end up being his carer whilst she's still relatively young which is what tends to happen in large age-gaps. But who knows? Op's man might be health conscious and young at heart.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Why on earth would you get married to a 50 year old unless its for the money.

I know a couple with a 10 year age gap and she regrets it! She says he has no energy and he is unfit to boot. On top of that, according to the doctors, they are having issues conceiving because of his sperm quality. She is in her 30s, he is in his 40s.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

True, that's my thinking as well but at 35, I'd think most women know what they want and she's weighed up the pros and cons and it does seem like she's tried courting her age group, but it didn't work out. As long as someone is very aware of the consequences then I'd say crack on. The only thing I'd worry about is that she might end up being his carer whilst she's still relatively young which is what tends to happen in large age-gaps. But who knows? Op's man might be health conscious and young at heart.

I hope for her that he is everything she desires.
Like you mentioned, old men tend to seek caretakers. So, why did he target her? Does he want companionship or a young woman to care for him in his old age. Or is he an oday Somali who wants a younger woman for more children (if he has an ex wife and kids already).

I have so much to say about old men, and the red flags they come with. Especially if they are pursuing much younger women.

1. Has he been married before?
2. If yes, what happened.
3. Does he have kids, does he provide for them, if yes, can he support another family.
4. Why does he want her and not a woman closer to his age.
5. Is he able to provide and protect.
6. Is he fit, healthy?
7. Are there shared interests? Goals?
8. Is he willing to undergo STD and fertility tests.
9. Does he value her as a person, or is he just seeking someone who cares for him.


And by that age, they have probably mastered the art of conversation and can talk their way out of anything. It is a huge risk. And who is there to give info about his background? Habaryars and adeers? Who have totally different standards to a 35 year old millenial.


Good luck to you abayo @Ladylike

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

He cannot be my dad. He was a child when I was born. Anywho, how he treats me wine me over. Men my age from my experience did nothing for me except lie, waste my time by entertaining other women etc at least I know what i am getting with this. He has no time for games.

Odays cheat too sis, ask all the hooyos whose husbands were caught with multiple wives.
Cheating is not an age related issue, it is about character. If he is so charming, maybe he had a lot of practise to become so skillful. Until you get married, you will never be 100% sure of who he really is.

So, make it worth your while and get a GOOD meher and run those health tests (go together to clinics and dont accept paperwork from him).