I've seen and heard too many fed up family dynamics from them. The Aabo was the sole provider and financially abusing the mom. Constantly getting abused and beat down. Threatened with getting harmed if they do something to dishonour their family or not follow their ways. I have so many horror stories from them its crazy. Once you go out to the world and see how other people live you realize as a whole the human race is messed up. There's not one group of people that are exemplary at all or worth idolizing. Besides the prophet muhammad saw. Lastly they got the same issues we have whether poor or rich.
Deadbeat culture
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Abaq
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This is so true. Countless times when some1 isnt mentally there the parents will rush them to marry. They have a superstition tht marriage will cure them. Its a big fat lie. Wht usually happens is they will soon divorce and if a child is born the kid will grow up with no stability. I used to think only our parents thought like this but nope even arab families think this way. This arab tiktoker was telling people to stop marrying their alcholic/mentally disabled sons to village girls back home.
idc
..................................................
they wanted it all just to say they got a man lol. it doesnβt take three kids to realise your man is a straight-up loser and deadbeat. the mothers donβt take any initiative to make the dads step up, instead, they keep enabling them. then they spoil their sons into becoming the same useless men while neglecting their daughters or forcing them to become mothers way before their time to their other children. sorry, but somali people arenβt great at parenting. iβve noticed they encourage their daughters to marry any man just because heβs muslim or somali. a lot of them are pick-mes who think having a family and a man is some kind of achievement and nobody is jealous of you. Iβll kill myself before I become a mother of a million bastards, fr even one is too much.
I believe westernized gen Z and millennial somali men will be the best fathers within our community. Simply because most of us grew up in the west and have seen the way successful men raise their children.
The men I'm worried about the most though are gen Z and millennial fathers raised back home
. The Gen X and Somali boomer fathers they were raised by are currently considered the worst fathers in our entire ethnic group. A lot of these young men were not taught how to raise successful children.I noticed that we share this custom with the peoples of the Horn of Africa and the Arabian Gulf, where men walk in front and women walk behind.
The Arabian Gulf also has this nomadic culture like ours, where men do not participate in domestic chores.
But today's golf generations are trying to change this habit and adapt to the new demands of modern life.
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Kulaha nin baadiyo joogo is lazy.
She has no clue how many kms he has to walk a day in that hot sun, with the threat of other clans/highway robbers etc. Different seasons, different journeys. A man would be away from his family for months looking for grazing for his livestock and selling/buying.
I know relative elders who used to travel for one year on foot whilst having no other sustenance than camel milk.
Anyways, another thread attacking and belittling Somali men. Alhamdullilah I have a great dad who worked hard for his family. He used to even work night shifts sometimes, and still drive me to school and pick me up. He would take my mum shopping, wait in the car(because she would always take ages, and a 1 hour shop would turn to 2/3 hours.) He would take me to soccer practice on his days off, and I used to chill in the living room with him on saturday nights whilst he chewed and he would
speak to me about Somalia,his youth and old somali stories.
He would take us on day trips during vacations, and make us visit relatives with him and remind us of the importance of maintaining ties of kinship.
Throughout my youth he was a shoulder i leant on for support and advice. And as an adult he is always the first person I confine in and speak to about any issues or thoughts on my mind.
A dad or a mum isn't a superhuman, they are not perfect, human beings all have different personalities. Some are closed off and reserved, but still love you under the cold exterior...others are social with their kids and Alhamdullilah I got a father who has always loved talking to us and making us laugh.
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Sayings I learnt from my dad at a young age
Nin aa shaqeesan shaah waa ka xaaran (a man who doesn't work, tea(money) is haraam for him)
Hadu Shaatigaada cadyahay nin og ina baahanta ma jiro( if your clothes are white(clean and well dressed) no one will know that you're hungry)
Ψ§ΩΨΨ¨ Ψ¨ΨΉΨ― Ψ²ΩΨ§Ψ¬ (Love comes after marriage- everything before it is a lie)
Don't be a sheep, don't follow others.
Your only true friends are your siblings
Nin is faaniyay waa ri is nuugtay(A man who praises himself is like a female goat which sucks milk from its own teat)
Labaatan jir intu geed ka boodo talada ka booda( a 20 year old(youth) as he jumps over a tree he will jump over advice i.e is reckless in decision making)
Luuq luuq maroow laasim laamiga wuu imaana(the one who goes through alleys/side streets In the end he will end up on the main road i.e hide something or try to deceive in the end everything will come out in the open).
Edit
And I forgot the most important thing...he was the one who taught me how to read the Quran. Learning Kicis somali style was very difficult, but alhamdullilah he will get reward for it in this life and the next whenever I recite quran. Lool reminiscing has made me write a lot of stuff.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, βNo child can repay his father unless he finds him as a slave, purchases him, and emanicaptes him.β
Source: SΜ£ahΜ£iΜhΜ£ Muslim 1510
Nin aa shaqeesan shaah waa ka xaaran (a man who doesn't work, tea(money) is haraam for him)
Hadu Shaatigaada cadyahay nin og ina baahanta ma jiro( if your clothes are white(clean and well dressed) no one will know that you're hungry)
Ψ§ΩΨΨ¨ Ψ¨ΨΉΨ― Ψ²ΩΨ§Ψ¬ (Love comes after marriage- everything before it is a lie)
Don't be a sheep, don't follow others.
Your only true friends are your siblings
Nin is faaniyay waa ri is nuugtay(A man who praises himself is like a female goat which sucks milk from its own teat)
Labaatan jir intu geed ka boodo talada ka booda( a 20 year old(youth) as he jumps over a tree he will jump over advice i.e is reckless in decision making)
Luuq luuq maroow laasim laamiga wuu imaana(the one who goes through alleys/side streets In the end he will end up on the main road i.e hide something or try to deceive in the end everything will come out in the open).
Edit
And I forgot the most important thing...he was the one who taught me how to read the Quran. Learning Kicis somali style was very difficult, but alhamdullilah he will get reward for it in this life and the next whenever I recite quran. Lool reminiscing has made me write a lot of stuff.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, βNo child can repay his father unless he finds him as a slave, purchases him, and emanicaptes him.β
Source: SΜ£ahΜ£iΜhΜ£ Muslim 1510
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Gacmeey
Madaxweynaha Qurbo Joogta πΈπ΄
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Back home female relatives would think that the man is stingy and financially controlling his wife's expenses. Dhaqanka back home is give the wife the daily or monthly needs for the house, and let her manage it herself as she sees fit freely.
Even the men know this, believing that getting involved will only suffocate her and in turn cause marital problems.
Iβm tryna make sure we donβt make any more niggas like u sxbnigga acting all ethical and shit
Taintedlove
Shaqo la'an ba kuu heysaata
Somalis are still very patriachal. To blame women who encouraged by their families as sunnah to marry these men is pretty awful. How about we shame these men instead of blaming women.You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
Choose and lay with a βdeadbeatβ and suffer the consequences.
Otherwise, people can't complain when Somali women marry out.
Taintedlove
Shaqo la'an ba kuu heysaata
It's mostly mothers who encourage this shit because they still live in the 70s-80s where men could no wrong and they were kings, and that their wife must be wrong.
Lots of older somali women shocked that younger somali women are no longer taking this type of shit.
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