Emotionally distant fathers

[VixR]

It’s definitely not normal and it’s unfortunate.

OP needs to know it’s not, so it doesn’t continue to damage her, with any luck. It’s one thing for a father to have some temper or other, but to also have positive experiences and associations to that parental relationship. But if all you associate with him are insults and distance, it’s absolutely damaging to the child and she shouldn’t blame herself for it.

 

[Waaqo of Punt]

It’s definitely not normal and it’s unfortunate.

OP needs to know it’s not, so it doesn’t continue to damage her, with any luck. It’s one thing for a father to have some temper or other, but to also have positive experiences and associations to that parental relationship. But if all you associate with him are insults and distance, it’s absolutely damaging to the child and she shouldn’t blame herself for it.

I agree but what if she confronted her father? I find it hard to believe that ALL their interactions are just anxiety/animosity, and if so she should go out more and pass time with friends.

 

[VixR]

I agree but what if she confronted her father? I find it hard to believe that ALL their interactions are just anxiety/animosity, and if so she should go out more and pass time with friends.

It could be that he has no relationship with her beyond insulting her when she does something he doesn’t like (not necessarily serious), which is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, I think insults from parents should be practically non-existent, and vice versa.

Friends are no substitute for parents. It’s an entirely different relationship, but not everyone is so lucky. Hopefully, her mother is a positive figure.

 

[Waaqo of Punt]

It could be that he has no relationship with her beyond insulting her when she does something he doesn’t like (not necessarily serious), which is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, I think insults from parents should be practically non-existent, and vice versa.

Friends are no substitute for parents. It’s an entirely different relationship, but not everyone is so lucky. Hopefully, her mother is a positive figure.

Yeah if u think about it no matter how much quality time u spend with other people, if the thoughts of ur dad don't pop up when u're having dun they def will when u come back home. Sounds depressing af.

If the father is a worst case scenario then I don't see how u could get out of it. What do u think?

 

[amaal]

i thinks a generational thing... our parents teaching what they learnt from their parents

 

[Younes Osman]

I think both my parents are bipolar. I despise my father because he's a bum that doesn't work... He uses the computer all day or goes to Starbucks. Plus he plays a lot of mind games with me. It's amazing how my siblings and I aren't fucked up

How can he afford Starbucks if he does not work ?



plus, I assume he goes out with a non tailored suit and goes to Somali restaurants?

 

[?????]

Funnily enough my dad isn’t cold but my mom is. He never hit me. I remember nearly failing geometry and my mom beat the ISH outta me, but seeing my dad’s disappointed look affected me more. My dad use to take me around the city and he’d get coffee and go to the local library. He is a gentle soul, never spoke much but is patient and understanding.

 

[AhmedSmelly]

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[AhmedSmelly]

Funnily enough my dad isn’t cold but my mom is. He never hit me. I remember nearly failing geometry and my mom beat the ISH outta me, but seeing my dad’s disappointed look affected me more. My dad use to take me around the city and he’d get coffee and go to the local library. He is a gentle soul, never spoke much but is patient and understanding.

Your dad sounds like a beta male, who married to a freak. I hope you became like your mother

 

[?????]

Your dad sounds like a beta male, who married to a freak. I hope you became like your mother

I take after my father and my mother is quite normal and beta male?? I’d rather have a dad who like this then one who is emotionally distant or worse isn’t even in his daughters life. Big assumptions there

 

[Mahacagalla]

The amount of Somali girls I have met with daddy issues whew. If I ever have a daughter I’ll make sure I show her all the love in the world inshallah.

 

[Southerner]

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[Sophisticate]

Emotionally avaliable Somali fathers that champion their daughters exist.


Living proof

He is eternally grateful to the women that facilitated his academic success (as our fortunes are parially attributed to those that helped us) and believes an investment in women has trickle down effects to societies globally.

 

[Xasusi]

I'm gonna be a distant father

 

[Sophisticate]

I'm gonna be a distant father

Emotionally or physically unavaliable fathers put their daughters at a disadvantage.

'paternal disengagement may lead women to perceive men in ways that expedite sexual activity.'

 

[TekNiKo]

Try to give love to your daughters and dont repeat the mistakes of the last generstion. Remember daughters are more likely to take care of you when you are old, sons dont give af

 

[Helios]

How are you supposed to even raise a daughter lol I'm worried if I have a daughter in the future because I don't have sisters so I don't really have a good concept of what to do. With sons it just kinda seems natural to me in a sense.

 

[Sophisticate]

How are you supposed to even raise a daughter lol I'm worried if I have a daughter in the future because I don't have sisters so I don't really have a good concept of what to do. With sons it just kinda seems natural to me in a sense.

Read books on psychology and try to encourage a secure atrachment style. It's not that difficult. Be responsive, set boundaries, support realistic and balanced self-appraisal. And be an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Children model their parents. Oddly enough they form attachment issues with the more difficult parent lol. This could be the hooyo. As some interact with them exclusively. Particularly if she's emotionally absent (depressed, exhausted, unwell, emotionally numb, dismissive/belittling, chronically stressed etc).

 

[Helios]

Read books on psychology and try to encourage a secure atrachment style. It's not that difficult. Be responsive, set boundaries, support realistic and balanced self-appraisal. And be an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Children model their parents. Oddly enough they form attachment issues with the more difficult parent lol. This could be the hooyo. As some interact more with them. Particularly if she's emotionally absent (depressed, exhausted, unwell, emotionally numb, dismissive/belittling, chronically stressed etc).

I need to work on being more of an open person. I'm someone you'd go to for advice but not an arm to cry on necessarily.

 

[Sophisticate]

I need to work on being more of an open person. I'm someone you'd go to for advice but not an arm to cry on necessarily.

Anything can be learned even if its contrary to your normal baseline. That can also include some level of emotional attunement.