How do you build professional bonds/network with cadaan coworkers you have nothing in common with?

[empressjamila]

So I currently work in a clinic that’s like 95% cadaan and the only two non cadaan are cadaan washed indhoyar and timojileec women.

I’m the type of person to just keep to myself if I don’t feel like I connect, but it looks bad when you do that at work, they think you are antisocial and it can hurt your future opportunities so I’m trying not to.

But..it’s hard to connect with these people man. The other day they were talking about their dogs. Today in the lunch room they were all talking about their Christmas plans and I was kind of just sitting there and listening while eating my food cause obv don’t have anything to add.

Then they turn to me and they’re like “so Jamila, do you have any Christmas plans?” and I was like “um I’m Muslim so we don’t do Christmas actually”. I got a couple weird looks and and they were like “oh okay..” then they continue chatting.

I hate this awkwardness. I like working at the clinic cause it’s chill but things like this make me miss the hospital cause I worked with hella Muslims and immigrants and fit in more.

How do yall manage these kind of workplaces?

 

[AbdiFreedom]

You should have just said you plan on spending the holidays with your family and/or friends in town, which would be true. And make a comment about how you like dogs but you're another animal type of person. People who appear to not like animals or don’t regret having one for whatever legitimate reason are treated with suspicion.

 

[gasara]

Cadaans love to talk about hobbies, plans for the weekend, trips, and family. They love it when you ask them about how they are and their families. Especially the older cadaan ladies will tell you everything about themselves, their kids, their parents, their husband, etc. Older cadaan males talk about hobbies mainly and like career advice/stuff about it. Usually in these types of environments you have to be outgoing or personable (but try not to be a clown). Even if you are good at your job but keep to yourself you wont win. So, I'd say start greeting and smiling at them. Then from there you slowly build the momentum and you can start asking them about how they are. They will also ask you about yourself. Don't say you are doing nothing for the weekend just lie and say you went to another town, saw your grandparents, blalala you pick.

 

[gasara]

People love when you ask them about themselves, actually listen to them, and ask them about it.

 

[ilmoweyn]

Small talk (which i despise) is their favourite thing. To reiterate gasara, weather, family, the news, pop culture (depending on the person), your shared past experiences etc. Even if you're speaking to the complete opposite of yourself (e.g. a White Christian Man) find just one thing you have in common, e.g. being the oldest child, liking a musician, even complain about work load lol

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

Do you have any pets, like a cat? They love animals, so you could bond over that or even other hobbies. Are you into cooking? You could talk about new recipes or different foods you’re trying, it’s honestly so easy.

Do you watch any TV shows? Recommend some that’s what I do, I even got some of my coworkers into a show I’m watching. I had no ulterior motives though this was just me genuinely trying to connect with them.

 

[Lostbox]

Usually I just make the conversation about them or even better. Try to get them to tell a story then zone out. People love talking about themselves and the added benefit is they have a more favourable opinion of you. A very simple low risk to high reward social win

 

[EyiPunter]

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[queasyian]

You have to act like Stanley from the office (US)

 

[Devilsadvocate]

As a seasoned veteran in this field, you just need to start yapping. Just add one or two comments here and there to whatever they say. If someone spoke to me about Christmas, I would ask them what their plans are, when they plan to do Christmas food shopping, etc. You don't need to really care you just need to talk. I'm friends with all my co-workers because i listen & ask them questions.