How do you build professional bonds/network with cadaan coworkers you have nothing in common with?

[empressjamila]

So I currently work in a clinic that’s like 95% cadaan and the only two non cadaan are cadaan washed indhoyar and timojileec women.

I’m the type of person to just keep to myself if I don’t feel like I connect, but it looks bad when you do that at work, they think you are antisocial and it can hurt your future opportunities so I’m trying not to.

But..it’s hard to connect with these people man. The other day they were talking about their dogs. Today in the lunch room they were all talking about their Christmas plans and I was kind of just sitting there and listening while eating my food cause obv don’t have anything to add.

Then they turn to me and they’re like “so Jamila, do you have any Christmas plans?” and I was like “um I’m Muslim so we don’t do Christmas actually”. I got a couple weird looks and and they were like “oh okay..” then they continue chatting.

I hate this awkwardness. I like working at the clinic cause it’s chill but things like this make me miss the hospital cause I worked with hella Muslims and immigrants and fit in more.

How do yall manage these kind of workplaces?

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

You should have just said you plan on spending the holidays with your family and/or friends in town, which would be true. And make a comment about how you like dogs but you're another animal type of person. People who appear to not like animals or don’t regret not having one for whatever legitimate reason are treated with suspicion.

 

[gasara]

Cadaans love to talk about hobbies, plans for the weekend, trips, and family. They love it when you ask them about how they are and their families. Especially the older cadaan ladies will tell you everything about themselves, their kids, their parents, their husband, etc. Older cadaan males talk about hobbies mainly and like career advice/stuff about it. Usually in these types of environments you have to be outgoing or personable (but try not to be a clown). Even if you are good at your job but keep to yourself you wont win. So, I'd say start greeting and smiling at them. Then from there you slowly build the momentum and you can start asking them about how they are. They will also ask you about yourself. Don't say you are doing nothing for the weekend just lie and say you went to another town, saw your grandparents, blalala you pick.

 

[gasara]

People love when you ask them about themselves, actually listen to them, and ask them about it.

 

[ilmoweyn]

Small talk (which i despise) is their favourite thing. To reiterate gasara, weather, family, the news, pop culture (depending on the person), your shared past experiences etc. Even if you're speaking to the complete opposite of yourself (e.g. a White Christian Man) find just one thing you have in common, e.g. being the oldest child, liking a musician, even complain about work load lol

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

Do you have any pets, like a cat? They love animals, so you could bond over that or even other hobbies. Are you into cooking? You could talk about new recipes or different foods you’re trying, it’s honestly so easy.

Do you watch any TV shows? Recommend some that’s what I do, I even got some of my coworkers into a show I’m watching. I had no ulterior motives though this was just me genuinely trying to connect with them.

 

[Lostbox]

Usually I just make the conversation about them or even better. Try to get them to tell a story then zone out. People love talking about themselves and the added benefit is they have a more favourable opinion of you. A very simple low risk to high reward social win

 

[EyiPunter]

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[queasyian]

You have to act like Stanley from the office (US)

 

[Devilsadvocate]

As a seasoned veteran in this field, you just need to start yapping. Just add one or two comments here and there to whatever they say. If someone spoke to me about Christmas, I would ask them what their plans are, when they plan to do Christmas food shopping, etc. You don't need to really care you just need to talk. I'm friends with all my co-workers because i listen & ask them questions.

 

[Yaraye]

So I currently work in a clinic that’s like 95% cadaan and the only two non cadaan are cadaan washed indhoyar and timojileec women.

I’m the type of person to just keep to myself if I don’t feel like I connect, but it looks bad when you do that at work, they think you are antisocial and it can hurt your future opportunities so I’m trying not to.

But..it’s hard to connect with these people man. The other day they were talking about their dogs. Today in the lunch room they were all talking about their Christmas plans and I was kind of just sitting there and listening while eating my food cause obv don’t have anything to add.

Then they turn to me and they’re like “so Jamila, do you have any Christmas plans?” and I was like “um I’m Muslim so we don’t do Christmas actually”. I got a couple weird looks and and they were like “oh okay..” then they continue chatting.

I hate this awkwardness. I like working at the clinic cause it’s chill but things like this make me miss the hospital cause I worked with hella Muslims and immigrants and fit in more.

How do yall manage these kind of workplaces?

I yap my mouth off For Christmas, I talk about how all my neighbors got beautiful Christmas lights lol, how i'm excited for all the Christmas sales. Ask what they are getting for their families, and how the family dynamics are

The key is to remember what is going on in their children's lives, and ask about it lol.

 

[Kisame]

I talk sports and anime with most of my coworkers. We even have a workplace fantasy football league.

 

[Reuelle]

you ask them about themselves, actually listen to them, and ask them abo?

Why though? OP’s answer about Christmas became awkward because they made it awkward. OP provided them with a perfect opportunity to learn about a different culture. Why would you want to learn about someone who doesn’t even want to learn about you?

OP ignore most of the advice here - you’ll end up watering down who and what you are as a person, just to appease randoms

 

[The truth seeker]

Networking whith white guys and Somalis is the best they put you into unimaginable opportunities

Shout out to those Cali white boys who got me that construction job during college

 

[Farah717]

You simply dont. And there's nothing wrong with that. Get your paycheck go home and invest your money so you no longer have to be a wage slave.

 

[Aseer]

It goes like this. Improvise a Topic or make a joke then you proceed to hit this combo Yap,Swear, Yap and more swearing and then a big hearty laugh and leave it at that. Rinse and Repeat.

 

[gasara]

Why though? OP’s answer about Christmas became awkward because they made it awkward. OP provided them with a perfect opportunity to learn about a different culture. Why would you want to learn about someone who doesn’t even want to learn about you?

OP ignore most of the advice here - you’ll end up watering down who and what you are as a person, just to appease randoms

It’s just how you move up in the company. This is after all their country and they are the majority in these good jobs and position. The only way you move up is by doing this. Or even get a good pay raise. At the end of the day you have to play the game because this is how you get your livelihood. These people like personable people who engage with them. And when you do this from what I notice they always put a good word in for you.

 

[LilBang]

You simply dont. And there's nothing wrong with that. Get your paycheck go home and invest your money so you no longer have to be a wage slave.

My guy not everyone on this planet has the same opportunity to start a business like that you need to understand

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Just make eye contact, smile, nod and redirect to them. People love talking about themselves.
Ask them questions about their plans instead. Google some basic facts about dogs too and ask what breed they have, and pretend to care. A sports league the men keep talking about? Maybe pretend to support one of those teams, don't overdo it either so they don't ask too many questions.

The trick is to be polite, friendly, and engage in their small talk in some way. This way you don't appear anti-social, just shy.

Make a note on your phone about who likes what, is obsessed with what pet/hobby, so you can do small talk about that when you see them around.

 

[Basra]

So I currently work in a clinic that’s like 95% cadaan and the only two non cadaan are cadaan washed indhoyar and timojileec women.

I’m the type of person to just keep to myself if I don’t feel like I connect, but it looks bad when you do that at work, they think you are antisocial and it can hurt your future opportunities so I’m trying not to.

But..it’s hard to connect with these people man. The other day they were talking about their dogs. Today in the lunch room they were all talking about their Christmas plans and I was kind of just sitting there and listening while eating my food cause obv don’t have anything to add.

Then they turn to me and they’re like “so Jamila, do you have any Christmas plans?” and I was like “um I’m Muslim so we don’t do Christmas actually”. I got a couple weird looks and and they were like “oh okay..” then they continue chatting.

I hate this awkwardness. I like working at the clinic cause it’s chill but things like this make me miss the hospital cause I worked with hella Muslims and immigrants and fit in more.

How do yall manage these kind of workplaces?

u have sex with them