Mom Doesn’t Let Me Go Out

[Deekhow]

@Angelina, @Qeelbax, these niggas on their bullshit again. Also, that verse addressed the Prophet's wives. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth to see you use this for your own purposes. Women aren't meant to be locked up, we're not like those Arabs or South Asians.

You are wrong about the ayah/verse please revisit and do your research.

 

[empressjamila]

Honestly you’re just gonna have to be a little rebellious (but still responsible) and eventually she will see that you are fine and unharmed and fall back. Maybe you could have your friends come over to your place sometimes so your mom can meet them and have more peace of mind. But either way with a lot of parents it’s much easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

My mom was similar to you and I lost quite a few friends bc of it but once I got my own car I would go out with my friends more often. Yes she spam called me, yes she got very mad at first but eventually she got tired of it and realized that I would always come home safe and never went out drinking or partying so she trusted me more.

You have to take your freedom yourself it’s honestly the only way.

 

[empressjamila]

Damn your mom needs to make freinds try and help her with that. It looks like you are her support system and she can't do without you that aint healthy. You need to slowly create boundaries between you two otherwise she's gonna scare away every guy that comes your way

Yea it seems that this goes deeper than just not wanting her to go out with friends. OP’s mom seems to want her to stay at home forever to keep her company and never move out or have her own life.

I work with a few women like that. They’re 40+ and never married and never had kids cause they spent their whole life attached to their mom at the hip. Now that their moms are elderly they are the caretaker. Yes they’re close to their mom which is great but it’s sad that they never to got to create a life of their own. OP may become like that if she doesn’t try to set boundaries now

 

[Qeelbax]

@Angelina, @Qeelbax, these niggas on their bullshit again. Also, that verse addressed the Prophet's wives. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth to see you use this for your own purposes. Women aren't meant to be locked up, we're not like those Arabs or South Asians.

These niggas man

 

[Qeelbax]

Yeah we were at dinner together and he was talking about wanting to build a house for us and she said she wanted like a two story house but separate so that we could always be connected and that she could take care of our future children and he said what about a separate house and she said no I am giving you privacy so I don’t hear your activities I want a duplex and then he ghosted basically

Living in the same building as your mommm??

Hell to the canjeero no!

Imagine you just tryna get some and your momma is knocking on the door

and you can’t even ignore it because the cars are outside

 

[Qeelbax]

i could pull up the full ayah (Surah Al-Ahzab) but let me not embarrass these fools.

I’m sure these niggas think Khadijah r.a was being a buisnesswoman and employer from inside her home, the women that ran the city markets were doing so from their balconys, Aisha r.a went to her university classes through zoom and lets not forget the women on the battlefield that led armies, nah they did all that through Call of Duty. Guriga ha ka bixin kulaha.

 

[minaaa]

Anyways I told my aunts we’re gonna set my mom up with a new man so she can live a littleGod created people in pairs for a reason lool! Wish me luck guys

 

[iskufilann]

Anyways I told my aunts we’re gonna set my mom up with a new man so she can live a littleGod created people in pairs for a reason lool! Wish me luck guys

Good luck abaayo, hopefully it goes to plan insha'Allah

 

[Basra]

 

[iskufilann]

Basra Buuqley short time no see, where have you been???

 

[Odious Delirium]

I’m sure these niggas think Khadijah r.a was being a buisnesswoman and employer from inside her home, the women that ran the city markets were doing so from their balconys, Aisha r.a went to her university classes through zoom and lets not forget the women on the battlefield that led armies, nah they did all that through Call of Duty. Guriga ha ka bixin kulaha.

Khadjiah in fact did not go about on any business trips she inherited her wealth from her ex husbands and basically put slaves and brokers to do everything on her behalf from inside her home. She had female slaves who she trusted to overlook if the brokers and middle men where cheating her or not. A rich woman back then wouldn't be out in the market she would let other do these things on her behalf. Generally slave women and poor women would be out in the markets back then.

That's how the prophet ended up working for her. he was her employee/middle man who took care of the business on her behalf. The reason she got interested in the prophet and asked to marry him was because of his character and the way he conducted himself on these business trips on her behalf which was conveyed to her by her slave.

She was more of an investor then anything else she gave money for them to buy or sell goods in places like shaam and Yemen. After the prophet married her she basically handed over control of the entire business to him. Even when she asked the prophet to marry her she didn't go to him herself and ask. she sent people to send the offer to him on her behalf.

As for aisha she did not infact leave her home when she had no need to. all the wives of the prophet had there needs met by the khalifas and didnt really need to go anywhere (I'm not saying she didn't ever leave her home for anything) the battle of the camel is one such example.

But when it comes to where she taught people about the deen.
you need to remember that all the wives of the prophet's houses where attached to masjid al nabwi so people would come to the masjid and enter her room (with permission) which had a veil between her and male guest who came to seek knowledge. People came to her she didn't go out to people.

And women were not leading men on the battlefield the few that came on to the battle field to fight did so cross dressing as men or held positions of authority and were moral support figures not actual combatants and strategist. No woman was actively recruited to fight in jihad ever. Most women on the battlefield played the role of support in the back not on the frontline and that's still the case everywhere to this day.

 

[Basra]

Basra Buuqley short time no see, where have you been???

I have been having a life huuno. I am not like u know WHO .....Isku Cough Cough

 

[iskufilann]

I have been having a life huuno. I am not like u know WHO .....Isku Cough Cough View attachment 271484

Nayaa we all have a life.. WELL I DO

 

[Basra]

Nayaa we all have a life.. WELL I DO

 

[mrlog]

I wish my mother was more controlling, she’s tryna force me out of my house to participate in something called “society”, but how can i do that when i already have everything that i need, A basement, a poop bucket, a computer, and a fleshlight

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[niggaibnh]

I’m a university student in my early twenties. I want to be social and have fun, nothing haram. I’ve met tons of other Muslim women at school and our values align. They ask me to hang out with them but whenever I try to go out my mom starts going crazy. She tells me stories about how her friend told her about a Somali girl in our town who started off by going out with her friends then they prostituted her to men at shisha bars and she went crazy. She tells me stories about how girls running away from home end up lost and drug addicts. Or how a woman she knows went to a café with her friends and the worker slipped pills into her drink because she was set up by her friends and then she was raped, so she tells me I can’t even trust cafés/ restaurants with friends if its not one that is chosen randomly? My mom always has something negative to talk about and I don’t blame her because the world is a negative place but I’m an adult and I should be able to leave the house and have a social life right? It’s getting annoying but I can’t do anything about her mentality. If I argue with her she tells me some random insult like I’ll learn when something happens to me or I can go be gay with the girls I’m dying to be friends with, so I’ve just learned to stay quiet.
My friends are allowed to go on roadtrips together or take internships in different cities alone, but if I try my mom says this is not correct in our culture and I’m going to prostitute myself or I’ll be taken advantage of. My friends wanted to rent a cottage 20 minutes away from where we live, not even far and it had wifi. It would just be a nice experience where we could swim without our hijabs in a private location and she says no unless she can come? I have a curfew at this age. I have to come home as soon as my classes or work is done, and even then she’s always spam calling me. If I do get her permission to go out for other things, she makes me list the names and numbers of each person that will be there and starts criticizing them like “this girl is a she has a boyfriend, this one does vaping, this one doesn’t wear the hijab, this one is shia , this one blah blah” it’s always negative and annoying because just because they do these things doesn’t mean it affects me. And I’m always the annoying person who can’t do anything past a certain time. I’ve lost so many friends because they think I don’t care about them because I always bail on plans or never try to initiate because it’s too much trouble for me. Funny thing is as when my mom was young growing up back home at my age, she would wear shorts, go party even go overseas with her friends because she was an “adult”. She tells me she regrets it and she wishes she stayed home but how does this affect me? I can’t go to Starbucks or go Karting with my friends how does that compare to partying. Just today she woke up telling me about how she had a dream about a girl taking advantage of these girls she invited out, and a few hours after my friend who got me a job asked if I can go to a museum and my mom said no because of her dream even though this girl is the reason I have a job. What should I do guys, I want freedom. She’s a great mother, she supports me, she serves me, so please don’t give me the Western advice of running away of home or moving out, this is not an option for me my mom will always be in my life. She’s a great mother probably just traumatized by her own and others experiences.

Same my hooyo was like that
She would even get ANRGY if I came home by min late after school.

The way I convinced my hooyo was that I bought my friends into my house so my hooyo couldn’t say no (because it would be embarrassing for her ) and she started to notice my friends wasn’t like what she had on her mind which changed her views

 

[Xisaabta]

Go out WITH your mom. take her out to eat, fun activies, walks in the park. But make sure you set it all up, you drive, you're in control. once she see's how you conduct yourself in public, then start going out with muslim sisters of a simmilar background. she'll trust you then.