Yaraye
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My cousin divorced her husband, "This is not your house."
- Thread starter Yaraye
- Start date
And we wonder why the divorce rate in our community is so high. No offence to your cousin but what a silly reason to get divorced. Instead of both parties communicating, theyβve let their pride and arrogance get in the way. The biggest reason for divorces is lack of communication and or unexpected expectations.He said that and she said, "You're right!."
Packed her sh!t, and knocked at our house in the middle of the night.
He was shocked from such fright,
Kept calling with all of his might.
Not a single peep or sight,
Shall he ever be blessed with again at night.
His visage turned pale, a sight most rare,
A blustering fool, devoid of flair.
He bellowed and hollered, βPray, donβt depart!β
But silence ensued; he broke his heart.
Toodle-loo~ Toodle-loo ~
She has flew, she has flew.
Away from you, away from you.
From your rage that you blew,
To embrace the vast and azure blue.
A toast to my cousin's new found freedom.
A poem to my cousin's queendom.
Sheβs returned to her kingdom!
She has returned to her fiefdom!
As for you, dear husbandβjust shame and disdain!
A master of folly, the king of the mundane,
With your pompous airs and a brain full of grain,
You thought you could tether her, yet caused her such gain.
In your castle of nonsense, youβre left to remain,
While she dances in freedom, unchained from your chain.
Now youβre just a footnote, a sad little stain,
A jest for the ages, a tale to entertain!
How do you guys like my poem to my cousin's divorce?
Seem like they had an argument and the guy said to her βthis is your not your houseβ which is extremely immature and wrong. He let his ego get a hold of him.
Its understandable to leave the house after this hurtful ordeal but to divorce? There was no reconciliation? No chance for the husbad to rectify his mistake?
From what I understood, he didnβt kick her out of house, there was just a heated argument which ended very badly.
To end a marriage over one argument is silly and careless.
Its understandable to leave the house after this hurtful ordeal but to divorce? There was no reconciliation? No chance for the husbad to rectify his mistake?
From what I understood, he didnβt kick her out of house, there was just a heated argument which ended very badly.
To end a marriage over one argument is silly and careless.
Wow! A poetic dedication to marital dissolution.
I'm not fond of the 'D' word, but someone who kicks you out tells me he has abusive tendencies. This isn't very comforting. Sometimes, there is more peace in being alone than in being with someone who does not really care. This is a cautionary tale. Never go for a lukewarm, foolish, loveless, purely self-centred, emotionally immature man lacking integrity, and spare yourself the grief.
I'm not fond of the 'D' word, but someone who kicks you out tells me he has abusive tendencies. This isn't very comforting. Sometimes, there is more peace in being alone than in being with someone who does not really care. This is a cautionary tale. Never go for a lukewarm, foolish, loveless, purely self-centred, emotionally immature man lacking integrity, and spare yourself the grief.
Kicking a woman out of the house is a removal of protection, it's disrespect and abuse of the highest order. The house is the nest where the eggs are hatched and kept safe. Has he lost his mind? That is pure insanity and there is no way to reconcile that kind of marriage.
The house is the woman's safe space, you take away that safety, there is nothing left.
He can cry tears of blood if he wants. Do a poll and ask the ladies.
Wow! A poetic dedication to marital dissolution.
I'm not fond of the 'D' word, but someone who kicks you out tells me he has abusive tendencies. This isn't very comforting. Sometimes, there is more peace in being alone than in being with someone who does not really care. This is a cautionary tale. Never go for a lukewarm, foolish, loveless, purely self-centred, emotionally immature man lacking integrity, and spare yourself the grief.
I've never heard of a woman being kicked out of the house, actually, only in abusive gaalo relationships where there is domestic abuse. But a Somali Muslim man? Nope, that's an immediate divorce. Let this be a lesson to other men who can't control their tempers.
For men who don't understand.
Women see protection and provision as love.
No provision
She loses respect for you, you're not the MAN anymore, more like a 50/50 life partner, but she may stick around depending on what else is happening. (If you are sick, that's different).
No protection
-she sees you as a dayuus, or an abuser, and no woman who respects herself, will want you after that. Certainly not her family and friends either. And even worse if your kids witness that, yikes.
Women and men are not built the same, learn what makes each gender feel loved and don't ever cross certain lines.
Women see protection and provision as love.
No provision
She loses respect for you, you're not the MAN anymore, more like a 50/50 life partner, but she may stick around depending on what else is happening. (If you are sick, that's different).
No protection
-she sees you as a dayuus, or an abuser, and no woman who respects herself, will want you after that. Certainly not her family and friends either. And even worse if your kids witness that, yikes.
Women and men are not built the same, learn what makes each gender feel loved and don't ever cross certain lines.
It's extremely childish and petty.
Imagine. He cannot even provide the one thing women seek most of all - physical safety. Notice how all the male responses so far advocate for her to continue hitching her cart to a dameer.
Listen Abayo,
OP clearly stated she left on her own accord, during their argument. Was what he said stupid, absolutely, but to end the marriage over that is in fact silly. Marriage is not easy, it takes a great deal of effort to keep it from falling apart. Iβm quite certain she will regret this decision, once she start thinking a bit more clearly.
Depending on the context, if she walked out over an argument, bro should have let her be
We don't have the full story. Perhaps he was compelled to say it was his house. Passing judgments without knowing the full story is wrong. Besides, if she works and did not contribute to this house when it comes to paying for its expenses, then that is his house.
Some women do not work by bringing money home, but they cook, clean, shop, look after the babies, that's called WORK. Work that they don't clock out of, 24/7 work.
For a man to say that to a wife, it means he does not respect her at all. Nin sharaf leh would never utter such words. Because the agreement is to build a family, which means everyone has a role to fulfill, and that means both parties need to feel secure.
In the event of a divorce, islamically, his assets are his assets, but during the marriage it's THEIR HOUSE.
Teedakale, what kind of man lets a woman leave the house at night? I know! The kind of man who says things like "it's not your house".
I don't think they understand how women operate mentally.
Once a man takes away provision + protection, the marriage is doomed. It's just a count-down at that point.
Not to mention, the fact that she will tell her friends and family everything, so even if she is an insecure woman, or sadly, an abused woman, she will still leave after they make her. That's precisely why abusers like to isolate women so they don't have that support.
Instead of advocating for this 'man', they should learn from this lesson so they don't repeat it.
Emotional abuse is saying a woman is contributing nothing when she's doing unpaid labour that, if remunerated, would have market value. A man who taketh a wife gains from her, in more ways than she gains from him. It's not uncommon for women to become ill from such marriages. Autoimmune conditions can be triggered or worsened by poor relationships and even pregnancy. If you cannot trust this man with your life he's not worth giving a legacy to. This is something we understand. Ladies put themselves in harm's way by being with a man intimately. She has no children with him, so she can escape him. I am the last person to advocate for divorce, but eventualities happen, and some people really are not capable of love. You cannot draw blood from a stone. However, some are great at crocodile tears or last-ditch attempts at salvaging the unsalvagable. They could win an Oscar.
I agree a man shouldn't brag to his wife "This is my house". But then we don't have the full story. The story of every couple is unique. So without knowing the full story, I wouldn't pass judgment.
The highest form of love shown to a woman is protection. It starts with the father, if not father, there is a brother, or the mother steps in multiple roles. The safer a woman feels, the more love she feels. A husband who lets his wife leave the house, at night, does not love her. A father would never let this happen, a brother would never.
Teeda kale, you would be LIVID as a father, seeing your daughter knock on your door at night, without her husband on her heels. Waa GUN.
This is precisely why Islam dictates that a woman's money is hers and hers alone, because this is what can happen. A woman spends years and years in unpaid labour, with no assets to show for it. Especially if she has no decent meher, no gold. Upon divorce these women are left DESTITUTE. Not to mention, the lack of work experience.
That's right sis, this kind of man has shown his hand and he's a huge threat to her well-being. He's not husband material.
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