My cousin divorced her husband, "This is not your house."

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

This post is insane!!!!

I had to see what you were laughing at, because I had this person on 'ignore' for a long time, and boy, did I make the right decision.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

SIS! Please read @Inquisitive_'s last post. His poetic language has me dying!

I don't read posts by people who use words like "female". Qofkaas hadalkiisa waa lagu jirada.

 

[Yaraye]

Of course you will disagree, victim complex, overinflated ego, delusions of grandeur laced with ridiculous self importance.

That's why I advice any sane intelligent male not to marry these thin skinned diaspora females, walking homewreckers, destroyers of society.

In the old days, females had thicker skin than males, also more patience as it related to household matters and family, but now even the lowest of the lowest male has more than the average diaspora female.

Rendering a poor girl fatherless from such a young age because the mothers feelings got hurt in a heated argument, pathetic, really pathetic beyond belief.

Those women of old had arranged marriages and you could excuse them unlike these that get to pick, choose and date the guy for years before marrying him regardless family opposition, taking no responsibility or any personal accountability, typical diaspora xaalimo.

No surprise they suffer the most in comparison to other races, that's the price homewreckers pay

I'll bookmark this crazy sh!t. Every time I need to laugh, or need an example of a crazy male, I'll pull it up.

 

[Yaraye]

I don't read posts by people who use words like "female". Qofkaas hadalkiisa waa lagu jirada.

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[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

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This topic just reinforces the need that there is nothing more attractive than a man, who is emotionally stable. Women have an excuse for the times we are irritable, upset etc. It's called 'estrogen', the 'menstrual cycle'

Estrogen influences your emotions by affecting mood regulation and mental health. Swings in estrogen levels can lead to mood disorders such as PMS, PMDD, postpartum depression, and menopausal depression. These changes in hormone levels can cause irritability, anxiety, and depression.

This is a thread for men who care to learn how to biology affects women, and thus, your relationship issues.

What men (and women) need to know about the Menstrual Cycle

It's very important to understand the menstrual cycle. You need to learn how to behave around a woman during certain periods, when to have or not have certain conversations, intimacy etc. Learn why women's moods go up and down. Men, on the other hand, are pretty much the same all the time...

www.somalispot.com

 

[Angelina]

He is such a liar. Somali women never hid their face in shame.

They want us to be Arab and Hindi women so badly. Keep dreaming.

Exactly

Based on the first post I read he didn't kick her out, he uttered those shameless words during an argument, and it wasn't a threat for her to leave, just said "its my house"

My advice is based on this, as that's not a legit ground for divorce, not even close.

If the story has since changed to the way you described that he physical kicked her out in the middle of the night with his daughter, that is a legit ground for divorce, no excuses for this.

You need to stop talking about days of ‘old’ since divorce rates were high in the late 1800s to even the mid 20th century according to the locals themselves. One tribe had a divorce rate of 25% and that was the mid century. Certain North Western Tribes did have a lower divorce than the rest, but on average divorce was frequent and this was observed not just by outsiders but our ancestors themselves, who even pointed out that certain regions were worse.

Right now as well, divorce rates are high back home as well, so your rant against Western Somali women is inaccurate and laced with emotions and it’s an indication of your unbridled feelings towards women raised in the diaspora. When the divorce rates are just as high if not worse back home in which it’s common to see a young lady who hasn’t even reached 25 has married at least two times, you cannot put the divorce issue with regards to Somalis at the feet of Western Somali women.

If you’re are going to write a rant about ‘days of old’ at least make it accurate. It’s romanticized hogwash that doesn’t reflect what was happening on the ground and what is currently happening in the motherland.

If you don’t believe me, I have enough evidence since I’m an avid reader of history and I’ll happily send you the link of a post that compiles this.

We can’t have a rose tinted perspective of history and bash women over something that never was. A mere fantasy of the over emotional male filled with malice towards the opposite gender. Let’s stick to facts and accuracy please.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Exactly

You need to stop talking about days of ‘old’ since divorce rates were high in the late 1800s to even the mid 20th century according to the locals themselves. One tribe had a divorce rate of 25% and that was the mid century. Certain North Western Tribes did have a lower divorce than the rest, but on average divorce was frequent and this was observed not just by outsiders but our ancestors themselves, who even pointed out that certain regions were worse.

Right now as well, divorce rates are high back home as well, so your rant against Western Somali women is inaccurate and laced with emotions and it’s an indication of your unbridled feelings towards women raised in the diaspora. When the divorce rates are just as high if not worse back home in which it’s common to see a young lady who hasn’t even reached 25 has married at least two times, you cannot put the divorce issue with regards to Somalis at the feet of Western Somali women.

If you’re are going to write a rant about ‘days of old’ at least make it accurate. It’s romanticized hogwash that doesn’t reflect what was happening on the ground and what is currently happening in the motherland.

If you don’t believe me, I have enough evidence since I’m an avid reader of history and I’ll happily send you the link of a post that compiles this.

We can’t have a rose tinted perspective of history and bash women over something that never was. A mere fantasy of the over emotional male filled with malice towards the opposite gender. Let’s stick to facts and accuracy please.

There are hooyos and aabbos, who are on their 3rd or 4th marriage. I don't know what imaginary days some of these people speak of. I went to Somalia, and you'll see people in their 20s on their second spouse. In fact, I really suspect that the divorce rate is even higher back home.

Some of these men are emotionally unstable, and need to get that sorted out instead of embarrassing themselves online. Certainly before trying to get married. SMH

 

[Sophisticate]

I'll bookmark this crazy sh!t. Every time I need to laugh, or need an example of a crazy male, I'll pull it up.

I must add that I appreciated your poetic flare and facility. We don't see enough of it on here.

That aside, as if women leave over one conversation gone wrong.

Divorce doesn't happen immediately in most cases. It is usually death by a thousand cuts. However, the catalyst that pushed her over the edge was the utterance of an insensitive statement. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Trusting someone but being deemed unimportant and them engaging in an artful use of words to make you doubt yourself or dare to tell you what to think and invalidate your position shows me a person who doesn't have the tools to be in a relationship. Granted, some men suffer subclinical levels of alexithymia (the inability to recognize and describe emotions). This can result in foot-in-mouth issues and amplify problems in relationships.

 

[Yaraye]

Exactly

You need to stop talking about days of ‘old’ since divorce rates were high in the late 1800s to even the mid 20th century according to the locals themselves. One tribe had a divorce rate of 25% and that was the mid century. Certain North Western Tribes did have a lower divorce than the rest, but on average divorce was frequent and this was observed not just by outsiders but our ancestors themselves, who even pointed out that certain regions were worse.

Right now as well, divorce rates are high back home as well, so your rant against Western Somali women is inaccurate and laced with emotions and it’s an indication of your unbridled feelings towards women raised in the diaspora. When the divorce rates are just as high if not worse back home in which it’s common to see a young lady who hasn’t even reached 25 has married at least two times, you cannot put the divorce issue with regards to Somalis at the feet of Western Somali women.

If you’re are going to write a rant about ‘days of old’ at least make it accurate. It’s romanticized hogwash that doesn’t reflect what was happening on the ground and what is currently happening in the motherland.

If you don’t believe me, I have enough evidence since I’m an avid reader of history and I’ll happily send you the link of a post that compiles this.

We can’t have a rose tinted perspective of history and bash women over something that never was. A mere fantasy of the over emotional male filled with malice towards the opposite gender. Let’s stick to facts and accuracy please.

Sis, can you send me that compiled link post? I would love it for reference

 

[Yaraye]

I must add that I appreciated your poetic flare and facility. We don't see enough of it on here.

That aside, as if women leave over one conversation gone wrong.

Divorce doesn't happen immediately in most cases. It is usually death by a thousand cuts. However, the catalyst that pushed her over the edge was the utterance of an insensitive statement. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Trusting someone but being deemed unimportant and them engaging in an artful use of words to make you doubt yourself or dare to tell you what to think and invalidate your position shows me a person who doesn't have the tools to be in a relationship. Granted, some men suffer subclinical levels of alexithymia (the inability to recognize and describe emotions). This can result in foot-in-mouth issues and amplify problems in relationships.

Your compliment is held in the highest regard. Thank you, Abaayo.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

He said that and she said, "You're right!."
Packed her sh!t, and knocked at our house in the middle of the night.
He was shocked from such fright,
Kept calling with all of his might.
Not a single peep or sight,
Shall he ever be blessed with again at night.

His visage turned pale, a sight most rare,
A blustering fool, devoid of flair.
He bellowed and hollered, “Pray, don’t depart!”
But silence ensued; he broke his heart.

Toodle-loo~ Toodle-loo ~
She has flew, she has flew.
Away from you, away from you.
From your rage that you blew,
To embrace the vast and azure blue.

A toast to my cousin's new found freedom.
A poem to my cousin's queendom.
She’s returned to her kingdom!
She has returned to her fiefdom!

As for you, dear husband—just shame and disdain!
A master of folly, the king of the mundane,
With your pompous airs and a brain full of grain,
You thought you could tether her, yet caused her such gain.

In your castle of nonsense, you’re left to remain,
While she dances in freedom, unchained from your chain.
Now you’re just a footnote, a sad little stain,
A jest for the ages, a tale to entertain!


How do you guys like my poem to my cousin's divorce?

I had to re-read it. The last two paragraphs read like a diss rap.

Bars!

As for you, dear husband—just shame and disdain!
A master of folly, the king of the mundane,
With your pompous airs and a brain full of grain,
You thought you could tether her, yet caused her such gain.

In your castle of nonsense, you’re left to remain,
While she dances in freedom, unchained from your chain.
Now you’re just a footnote, a sad little stain,
A jest for the ages, a tale to entertain!

 

[Yaraye]

"This is not your house" is not just an insensitive statement to me. It's heavily loaded and a damn threat.






I had to re-read it. The last two paragraphs read like a diss rap.

Bars!

Your words are a crown of honor I wear with gratitude.


Sis, Thank you!

 

[Inquisitive_]

Exactly

You need to stop talking about days of ‘old’ since divorce rates were high in the late 1800s to even the mid 20th century according to the locals themselves. One tribe had a divorce rate of 25% and that was the mid century. Certain North Western Tribes did have a lower divorce than the rest, but on average divorce was frequent and this was observed not just by outsiders but our ancestors themselves, who even pointed out that certain regions were worse.

Right now as well, divorce rates are high back home as well, so your rant against Western Somali women is inaccurate and laced with emotions and it’s an indication of your unbridled feelings towards women raised in the diaspora. When the divorce rates are just as high if not worse back home in which it’s common to see a young lady who hasn’t even reached 25 has married at least two times, you cannot put the divorce issue with regards to Somalis at the feet of Western Somali women.

If you’re are going to write a rant about ‘days of old’ at least make it accurate. It’s romanticized hogwash that doesn’t reflect what was happening on the ground and what is currently happening in the motherland.

If you don’t believe me, I have enough evidence since I’m an avid reader of history and I’ll happily send you the link of a post that compiles this.

We can’t have a rose tinted perspective of history and bash women over something that never was. A mere fantasy of the over emotional male filled with malice towards the opposite gender. Let’s stick to facts and accuracy please.

You haven't addressed my point, that there is no ground for divorce over such flimsy reason.

Your wrong on history, the 25% you came with is a low rate in fact very low in the west today,

Divorce rates according to western statistics today is 50%, we don't have figures for the Somali community but it's at least 75% if not more based on common communal anecdotal evidences.

If you go and speak to those that train Somali youth especially football but also various other sports it's shocking, recently I was told from the 75 Somali boys in a football academy only 13 come from two parent household that's close to 80% divorce rate.

It doesn't matter who you speak to, community leaders, masjid boards, trainers, youth club leaders it's the same horrific figures and stories.

75% of the xaalimos I came in contact with in the diaspora throughout college, university etc. came from single parent household, and this was normal and I was the weird one for having issues with it.

Imagine having a worse divorce statistics than Non Muslims whose collective average is 50%, a people whom unlike Muslims don't value marriage at all, you have to be a special type of scum to beat them.

The actual official government statistics is over 90% for Somalis but that's mainly because of couples lying for benefit reasons.

If we drill down on this data according to the statistics over 70% of those divorces are initiated by females, these figures include all groups, but for Somalis this is likely 90% initiated by females and I am being kind here because from the 1000's of divorces I have heard off, it was all female lead, I have yet to come across a case especially in our generation were the male wanted the divorce, and the female wanted to save the household, I haven't even come across a case were it was mutual.

Unlike you I actually lived in Somalia and it's not even close, that 25% figure you gave as worst case for some tribes, is actually low if we take that figure at face value.

Don't compare yourself to those women, they are not predisposed to be homewreckers, they endure far more, funny enough on the back of this topic I asked them, and they all agreed unanimously with me.

I was actually more harsh on the male then they were, they even argued "its not his home", "she is stupid for leaving" even pointing out that we she did is religiously reprehensible to leave with the kid in the middle of the night, which I myself missed.

This is the result of giving freedom to those that don't deserve it and the perils of societal comfort and social welfare, something that is meant for last resort has become the go to weapon for these female's in the smallest of disputes.

Yet here we have the entire collective diaspora females on this thread singing from that same divorce hymn sheet like a flock of vulture birds possessed, not a single diaspora female in this thread is in opposition, no surprise why we are in the 70-80% divorce rates much higher than the general population, and even wore higher than the Non Muslims, look no further as to why, this thread personifies it.

 

[Inquisitive_]

I must add that I appreciated your poetic flare and facility. We don't see enough of it on here.

That aside, as if women leave over one conversation gone wrong.

Divorce doesn't happen immediately in most cases. It is usually death by a thousand cuts. However, the catalyst that pushed her over the edge was the utterance of an insensitive statement. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Trusting someone but being deemed unimportant and them engaging in an artful use of words to make you doubt yourself or dare to tell you what to think and invalidate your position shows me a person who doesn't have the tools to be in a relationship. Granted, some men suffer subclinical levels of alexithymia (the inability to recognize and describe emotions). This can result in foot-in-mouth issues and amplify problems in relationships.

Our Prophet (PBUH) had martial issues, this idea of problem free marriage is the actual disease that broke the camels back.

You expect and accept conflicts, you expect and accept the thousands cuts, you expect and accept the ups and downs, that's how you learn the greatest qualities in life which are patience and peserverance, which leads to growth, contenment and wisdom.

Imagine your mother making you fatherless over a stupid heated argument for which your father earnestly apologised?

Imagine all the psychological, emotional, social trauma it would have caused you, the longterm effects on your future relationship? all because of her flimsy ever wavering ego? with no regard for her children future and well being?

It's no wonder why the devil loves divorce more than other henious crimes like murder and fornication, because its a death spiral that destroys the vary foundation of society.

There is nothing poetic about her post, she is not a problem solver, in fact she is part and parcel of that malignant disease that loves to wreck homes, that loves to destroy rather than build and loves to desecrate that which is sacred.

At what point do you hold these women accountable? there was no arranged marriage, there was no force, the candidates were not predetermined, she picked out of her own volition, they dated for months and years before marrying.

Whatever negative you have to say about him reflects even more poorely on her, what happened to riding out the consequence of your actions? what happened to thinking about more than yourself? like the well being of your children? disappointed to see you support this reckless homewrecking.

 

[empressjamila]

So he told her “It’s not your house” when she was most likely the one who made the house a home, as wives tend to do. And proceeded to kick her out in the middle of the night where anything could have happened to her.

Wow. What a trash husband and a trash human being. Complete dameer. She should never go back.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

What did she say for him to say that? Is it possible they are both in the wrong? Why would a man say something like that unless you emasculated him in some way?

 

[Dibleyy]

@Yaraye your cousin was correct in leaving! Trust me it happens once it’s going to keep happening! When someone who is supposed to love and protect you kicks you out of the house that means they don’t care about your safety and well-being. I promise if she didn’t leave he would have done it again.

 

[Angelina]

You haven't addressed my point, that there is no ground for divorce over such flimsy reason.

Your wrong on history, the 25% you came with is a low rate in fact very low in the west today,

Somalis of old had ridiculous divorce rates that foreigners would be shocked that a man would go through 10 wives in the early 1900s and in the mid century Somalis themselves would argue that divorce rates were high as well.

Foreigners experience:

This checks out since many here admitted that their grandfathers and great had at least 30 kids isn’t like 16 women. Thats only possible via rampant divorces. This divorce you’re talking about has historically been normalized by the Somali male and foreigners and Somalis alike have noted this. Somali men have created this culture for centuries.

What Somalis in the mid century noted:

The 25% that was guessed In the mid century was only based on one Northern tribe. Somalis of old believed that it was even worse in the South.

You need to understand that even 25% although it was guessed that it was even higher and that the South was worse is shocking for early 20th century since divorce was exceedingly low in the West during that time period

Divorce rates according to western statistics today is 50%, we don't have figures for the Somali community but it's at least 75% if not more based on common communal anecdotal evidences.

If you go and speak to those that train Somali youth especially football but also various other sports it's shocking, recently I was told from the 75 Somali boys in a football academy only 13 come from two parent household that's close to 80% divorce rate.

It doesn't matter who you speak to, community leaders, masjid boards, trainers, youth club leaders it's the same horrific figures and stories.

75% of the xaalimos I came in contact with in the diaspora throughout college, university etc. came from single parent household, and this was normal and I was the weird one for having issues with it.

Imagine having a worse divorce statistics than Non Muslims whose collective average is 50%, a people whom unlike Muslims don't value marriage at all, you have to be a special type of scum to beat them.

The actual official government statistics is over 90% for Somalis but that's mainly because of couples lying for benefit reasons.

If we drill down on this data according to the statistics over 70% of those divorces are initiated by females, these figures include all groups, but for Somalis this is likely 90% initiated by females and I am being kind here because from the 1000's of divorces I have heard off, it was all female lead, I have yet to come across a case especially in our generation were the male wanted the divorce, and the female wanted to save the household, I haven't even come across a case were it was mutual.

Unlike you I actually lived in Somalia and it's not even close, that 25% figure you gave as worst case for some tribes, is actually low if we take that figure at face value.

I’ve lived in Somalia as well, and only in Somalia have I seen a 25 yr old on her second husband with kids in tow. The divorce rates back home is shockingly high more so if not the same, hence you can’t pull the wool over my eyes.

Don't compare yourself to those women, they are not predisposed to be homewreckers, they endure far more, funny enough on the back of this topic I asked them, and they all agreed unanimously with me.

I was actually more harsh on the male then they were, they even argued "its not his home", "she is stupid for leaving" even pointing out that we she did is religiously reprehensible to leave with the kid in the middle of the night, which I myself missed.

This is the result of giving freedom to those that don't deserve it and the perils of societal comfort and social welfare, something that is meant for last resort has become the go to weapon for these female's in the smallest of disputes.

Yet here we have the entire collective diaspora females on this thread singing from that same divorce hymn sheet like a flock of vulture birds possessed, not a single diaspora female in this thread is in opposition, no surprise why we are in the 70-80% divorce rates much higher than the general population, and even wore higher than the Non Muslims, look no further as to why, this thread personifies it.

You have 0 figures of the divorce rates in the Somali community in the West.

Basing gaal Statistics and putting it on the foot of Somali women is low IQ considering we’re a Muslim nation in which women can’t even ‘file’ for divorce. Somali women have to get permission from their men and do not have the freedoms of Cadaan women whom they can go and simply file.

It is men who have the power to talaq talaq, hence do not talk to me about gaals who have different norms.

The rest of what you wrote is emotional garbage whom I have no time to engage in. You’re too old to behave this way. Act your age please.

 

[HuunoHunter]

He shouldn't have said that, as I said she should make him pay a heavy price but not divorce and especially not when a child is involved.

There are blossoming marriages that have had to go through much worse than this, and those people are reaping the rewards today.

The grass is not greener for a divorced single parent, she choose him and dated him for years before marrying him, and that's the best she will get.

If you think you will gain contentment and happiness destroying your household and the future of your kids over flimsy crap like this which the devil loves more than murder and other heinous crimes according to the hadith, you have no idea about life, because your life's trajectory is downhill from her, but no one has the guts to be honest with her.

In no way is this a ground for divorce, yes it's a major error, but that happens in all marriages, this is why I staunchly advice against marrying diaspora females so much, marriage is a joke to them.

One of the many reasons I have forgone marriage is the potential of dealing with an egotistical wife who would celebrate a divorce and ruin my children's future.

I will continue to remain single until I find a non Somali wife or return to my Lord.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

One of the many reasons I have forgone marriage is the potential of dealing with an egotistical wife who would celebrate a divorce and ruin my children's future.

I will continue to remain single until I find a non Somali wife or return to my Lord.

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