My cousin divorced her husband, "This is not your house."

[Journey.]

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[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

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Spot on sis.

In the Somali community, men benefit from staying married no matter what, because they expect home-cooked meals and a single-married woman who does everything. Why on earth would any man file for divorce. It doesn't suit them. They're more than happy to stay with a woman, even if they can't stand her, by staying out at all hours, or marrying another wife.
That doesn't mean they are actually 'present' by doing husband duties, father duties or general household duties.

This particular man in the story, called her bluff and actually 'kicked her out', and had the audacity to expect her to stay married to him, after she was unceremoniously dumped in the middle of the night. Even if she children with him, no child deserves to witness such callous behaviour, it's abusive. They're better off co-parenting (and pray he doesn't do the same to his children).

He did it to himself.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

What did she say for him to say that? Is it possible they are both in the wrong? Why would a man say something like that unless you emasculated him in some way?

Even if she 'emasculated' him to the point where he kicked her out at night, then, why is he asking for her to return? The relationship is toxic and if there are children in this union, it's better to co-parent from a safe distance.

He either couldn't stand her, or lacks the patience to be married to her. So, muxuu ka raba? More buuq? What's next? Calling the police?

It's absolutely abnormal and shocking for a woman to be told to leave and that it's 'not her house', that's shaqo gaalo and abusive gaalo at that.

 

[Moon-]

Of course you will disagree, victim complex, overinflated ego, delusions of grandeur laced with ridiculous self importance.

That's why I advice any sane intelligent male not to marry these thin skinned diaspora females, walking homewreckers, destroyers of society.

In the old days, females had thicker skin than males, also more patience as it related to household matters and family, but now even the lowest of the lowest male has more than the average diaspora female.

Rendering a poor girl fatherless from such a young age because the mothers feelings got hurt in a heated argument, pathetic, really pathetic beyond belief.

Those women of old had arranged marriages and you could excuse them unlike these that get to pick, choose and date the guy for years before marrying him regardless family opposition, taking no responsibility or any personal accountability, typical diaspora xaalimo.

No surprise they suffer the most in comparison to other races, that's the price homewreckers pay

all that from her saying i dissagree its clear who has an overinflated ego lmao

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

As for those who have an issue with Somali women, please, marry a foreign lady. There are loads of them on marriage apps.

I want all entitled Somali men to go and see how Cadaan women/Asian women act. No, you will not get away with making her a single-married woman and she will absolutely take you to court, if you stay things like "it's not your house". And forget about long "business" trips abroad, she'll follow you with the children. They will never accept any of the cultural edab daro, that Somali mothers suffer through.

None of that 'gaari' or 'raaliyo' culture, where the woman is praised for doing everything like a donkey.

Go see if the grass is greener... on the litigious side of the world

 

[Sophisticate]

Our Prophet (PBUH) had martial issues, this idea of problem free marriage is the actual disease that broke the camels back.

You expect and accept conflicts, you expect and accept the thousands cuts, you expect and accept the ups and downs, that's how you learn the greatest qualities in life which are patience and peserverance, which leads to growth, contenment and wisdom.

Imagine your mother making you fatherless over a stupid heated argument for which your father earnestly apologised?

Imagine all the psychological, emotional, social trauma it would have caused you, the longterm effects on your future relationship? all because of her flimsy ever wavering ego? with no regard for her children future and well being?

It's no wonder why the devil loves divorce more than other henious crimes like murder and fornication, because its a death spiral that destroys the vary foundation of society.

There is nothing poetic about her post, she is not a problem solver, in fact she is part and parcel of that malignant disease that loves to wreck homes, that loves to destroy rather than build and loves to desecrate that which is sacred.

At what point do you hold these women accountable? there was no arranged marriage, there was no force, the candidates were not predetermined, she picked out of her own volition, they dated for months and years before marrying.

Whatever negative you have to say about him reflects even more poorely on her, what happened to riding out the consequence of your actions? what happened to thinking about more than yourself? like the well being of your children? disappointed to see you support this reckless homewrecking.

I support two-parent, stable homes, but each situation is unique, and we don’t know the specific reasons behind her decision, particularly what may have led up to it. Likely, it wasn’t a single statement but an accumulation of invalidations over time.

Relationships are complex, and the idea of 'riding out' a marriage doesn’t universally apply, especially in situations involving harm or ongoing disrespect. As @Journey pointed out, some Somali women find themselves in relationships where they shoulder most of the load due to emotionally or physically absent husbands, what they call married single mothers. While fathers are certainly important, they aren’t the only stabilizing force, and not all fulfill this role well. I’m fortunate to have a well-adjusted father Alx, but even he acknowledges that many men—across all backgrounds struggle to lead as reliable patriarchs.

Accountability in marriage is shared. If one partner is causing repeated harm, expecting the other to endure it indefinitely is unrealistic, especially at the cost of their well-being or the stability of their children.

For many, divorce is a last resort and a weighty decision. Reducing a woman’s choice to leave a harmful relationship (including emotional harm) to a 'flimsy ego' overlooks the complexity involved in making such a decision.

While divorce can affect children, so too can remaining in a toxic or dysfunctional marriage. Ideally, both partners would seek support to reconcile issues, but when harm is involved, Islam permits divorce for a reason. It’s not ideal, but sometimes it’s necessary for peace and stability.

 

[Inquisitive_]

I support two-parent, stable homes, but each situation is unique, and we don’t know the specific reasons behind her decision, particularly what may have led up to it. Likely, it wasn’t a single statement but an accumulation of invalidations over time.

Relationships are complex, and the idea of 'riding out' a marriage doesn’t universally apply, especially in situations involving harm or ongoing disrespect. As @Journey pointed out, some Somali women find themselves in relationships where they shoulder most of the load due to emotionally or physically absent husbands, what they call married single mothers. While fathers are certainly important, they aren’t the only stabilizing force, and not all fulfill this role well. I’m fortunate to have a well-adjusted father Alx, but even he acknowledges that many men—across all backgrounds struggle to lead as reliable patriarchs.

Accountability in marriage is shared. If one partner is causing repeated harm, expecting the other to endure it indefinitely is unrealistic, especially at the cost of their well-being or the stability of their children.

For many, divorce is a last resort and a weighty decision. Reducing a woman’s choice to leave a harmful relationship (including emotional harm) to a 'flimsy ego' overlooks the complexity involved in making such a decision.

While divorce can affect children, so too can remaining in a toxic or dysfunctional marriage. Ideally, both partners would seek support to reconcile issues, but when harm is involved, Islam permits divorce for a reason. It’s not ideal, but sometimes it’s necessary for peace and stability.

Your father and mother had plenty of major arguments much worse than "this is my house respect me" wether you know about it or not, but they persevered through it.

In those days it was mostly arranged marriages unlike today, at what point are you going to hold these women accountable?

They picked their own partners, dated them for months and years often against the advice of family, birds of a feather flock together, whatever bad they say about him reflects even worse on her as she is the one that picked him.

What happened to perseverance through the consequences of your own actions ?

I didn't think you too embraced perpetual victimhood

all that from her saying i dissagree its clear who has an overinflated ego lmao

She supports home wrecking and making a poor girl fatherless, while I support the opposite, but of course in your deranged delusional world what she is doing is good, because you have the same predisposition to destroy rather than build.

Exactly

You need to stop talking about days of ‘old’ since divorce rates were high in the late 1800s to even the mid 20th century according to the locals themselves. One tribe had a divorce rate of 25% and that was the mid century. Certain North Western Tribes did have a lower divorce than the rest, but on average divorce was frequent and this was observed not just by outsiders but our ancestors themselves, who even pointed out that certain regions were worse.

Right now as well, divorce rates are high back home as well, so your rant against Western Somali women is inaccurate and laced with emotions and it’s an indication of your unbridled feelings towards women raised in the diaspora. When the divorce rates are just as high if not worse back home in which it’s common to see a young lady who hasn’t even reached 25 has married at least two times, you cannot put the divorce issue with regards to Somalis at the feet of Western Somali women.

If you’re are going to write a rant about ‘days of old’ at least make it accurate. It’s romanticized hogwash that doesn’t reflect what was happening on the ground and what is currently happening in the motherland.

If you don’t believe me, I have enough evidence since I’m an avid reader of history and I’ll happily send you the link of a post that compiles this.

We can’t have a rose tinted perspective of history and bash women over something that never was. A mere fantasy of the over emotional male filled with malice towards the opposite gender. Let’s stick to facts and accuracy please.

You brought the 25% figure not me, divorce has never been as rife as it is today and to argue it was is simply false and shows your out of touch with reality.

Go and speak to the masjid boards responsible for matrimonials, speak to football and basketball coaches that train large group of young males, speak to youth club leaders, speak to community leaders, even the those female lead agree.

He'll even speak to the countless females raised in fatherless homes, it's an absolute pandemic we are talking 75% divorce figures if not worse.

Even the Non Muslims haven't gone as low as we have, your clearly out of touch with reality so there is no point even continuing this discussion.

It's been over a decade now and I have yet to come across a case were the male wanted divorce and the wife wanted to save the marriage, or even a case of mutual divorce, it's always the xaalimos that want it, this is of course universal it's not just xaalimos, but they are far worse then the rest.

There is no accountability and responsibility in your post just pure victimhood, unlike the history your so fixated with, the diaspora xaalimo's gets to pick their own husbands with the unprecedented opportunity to date him for months or years before marrying him, something unheard of in history.

But you want us to believe that they are all just innocent, bad at choosing their own partners, and that all of these males are just terrible, hence they are justified to be homewreckers.

They select, they choose to date, they choose to marry them, than they choose to divorce them, unprecedented power that is used to destroy rather build.

So he told her “It’s not your house” when she was most likely the one who made the house a home, as wives tend to do. And proceeded to kick her out in the middle of the night where anything could have happened to her.

Wow. What a trash husband and a trash human being. Complete dameer. She should never go back.

You clearly haven't read the first post of the OP, he didn't kick her out, she left on her own volition which is actually against Islam.

Even if he divorced her, they have to stay together in the same house until the iddah period expires, he is not allowed to kick her out nor is she allowed to leave.

This is basic Islam, but because of your emotional rage, and predisposition to home wrecking, your incapable to even discern the basics, or even comprehend the basics facts of her message.

 

[HuunoHunter]

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Yeah I agree that diasporan Somalis should marry out and assimilate in to their respective host countries that they reside in, instead of continuing this painful existence of qabyaaladnimo iyo foodho

 

[Angelina]

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He’s a misogynist that expects women to grin and bear it and he’s been here for years and this has been his shtick.

@Inquisitive_ I do not have the energy to respond to your nonsense, but have a good read of what Journey has wrote.

Half of these so called seperations aren’t even divorces, many Somali women are still married but their husband chooses to neglect them and live back home with a younger wife.

As for the men, why would a man want to get a divorce when they can neglect their wives and marry again and come home to a fresh meal and laundry?

Men can literally lead a life devoid of responsibility and start a new family, women can’t and tbh many Somali women aren’t even divorced but neglected. Married women who are single mothers. A very normal phenomenon you’d never touch upon.

Also, I know Somali women who’d love to get a divorce but can’t since their husbands won’t give them one. Islamically a woman cannot divorce herself, hence the fact that you talk about ‘accountability’ but won’t even acknowledge that it’s men who have the power of talalq hence these divorces are indeed a two way street shows how dishonest you are.

The UK doesn’t have proper Khula courts, these women need the permission of their husband so get out of here with your inaccurate word vomit.

 

[Angelina]

Your father and mother had plenty of major arguments much worse than "this is my house respect me" wether you know about it or not, but they persevered through it.

In those days it was mostly arranged marriages unlike today, at what point are you going to hold these women accountable?

They picked their own partners, dated them for months and years often against the advice of family, birds of a feather flock together, whatever bad they say about him reflects even worse on her as she is the one that picked him.

What happened to perseverance through the consequences of your own actions ?

Probably has to be the silliest point. If people had to persevere though the consequences of their choice, divorce wouldn’t halal. You also don’t seem to have the understanding that a toxic relationship is worse and sometimes leads to even more issues for you and the children than divorce. No one thinks people should separate over something small, but you seem to think that people should stay no matter what,

I didn't think you too embraced perpetual victimhood



She supports home wrecking and making a poor girl fatherless, while I support the opposite, but of course in your deranged delusional world what she is doing is good, because you have the same predisposition to destroy rather than build.


You brought the 25% figure not me, divorce has never been as rife as it is today and to argue it was is simply false and shows your out of touch with reality.

You’re out of touch with history and have a romanticized version. You’re crying about women leaving due to arguments and toxicity, but what about the men of old you look up to who divorced to make way for a younger wife which even shocked foreigners?

Even now, you can’t help but also romanticize back home when the divorce rates are higher but people marry and remarry at a way higher rate.

Go and speak to the masjid boards responsible for matrimonials, speak to football and basketball coaches that train large group of young males, speak to youth club leaders, speak to community leaders, even the those female lead agree.

He'll even speak to the countless females raised in fatherless homes, it's an absolute pandemic we are talking 75% divorce figures if not worse.

Even the Non Muslims haven't gone as low as we have, your clearly out of touch with reality so there is no point even continuing this discussion.

It's been over a decade now and I have yet to come across a case were the male wanted divorce and the wife wanted to save the marriage, or even a case of mutual divorce, it's always the xaalimos that want it, this is of course universal it's not just xaalimos, but they are far worse then the rest.

There is no accountability and responsibility in your post just pure victimhood, unlike the history your so fixated with, the diaspora xaalimo's gets to pick their own husbands with the unprecedented opportunity to date him for months or years before marrying him, something unheard of in history.

But you want us to believe that they are all just innocent, bad at choosing their own partners, and that all of these males are just terrible, hence they are justified to be homewreckers.

They select, they choose to date, they choose to marry them, than they choose to divorce them, unprecedented power that is used to destroy rather build.

You clearly haven't read the first post of the OP, he didn't kick her out, she left on her own volition which is actually against Islam.

Even if he divorced her, they have to stay together in the same house until the iddah period expires, he is not allowed to kick her out nor is she allowed to leave.

This is basic Islam, but because of your emotional rage, and predisposition to home wrecking, you’re incapable to even discern the basics, or even comprehend the basics facts of her message.

Side note: you’re jumbling a lot of things together. These girls that grew up In fatherless homes are the daughters of Boomers and Gen X who aren’t diaspora women but women who were mostly raised back home but came to the West as married women. Many of them also has arranged marriages.

Young diaspora have an opposite issue which is later marriages or many still being unmarried. It’s the traditional ones with high divorces who are the mothers and fathers of those raised in the West.

You’re confused and conflate a lot of things together. A marker of volatile emotions.

Also, another thing I need to add is that since you love the Western statistics of women filing for divorce which I pointed out has nothing to do with us, the same study also argues that women do more to try and save the marriage and tend to try out counseling and involving family help and another factor is that it is a fact that unfortunately men tend to do more big scale deal breaking actions like infidelity, drug abuse, weaponised incompetence and the list continues.

If you’re going to use the whole women file more nonsense, don’t forget the rest of the study

 

[Inquisitive_]

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Your conflating too many things together, couples that are persevering Vs lunatic diaspora xaalimo that wreck their homes over nothing.

As for the persevering couples it's not just the xaalimos doing this, but also the males who are denied basic marital rights that go unfilled for years and decades as well as basic respect especially our older generation, regardless of these challenges I respect these couples.

Don't conflate this with those homewrecking females in the diaspora who pick and select their own husbands only to divorce them in the majority of cases over minor things that happen in all marriages that normal people just deal with.

I am not talking about the cases were divorce is legitimate, but these are not the majority and we both know this.

This thread is a perfect example that illustrates my point, all the xaalimos are singing from that same homewreckng hymn sheet in unison and support divorce, while the majority of males don't.

The sad part here is that most of these females haven't even read the thread properly and think the male kicked the wife and daughter out, which the OP didn't even state.

If that's not being predisposed to homewrecking I don't know what is, they made a decision based conjecture that even the OP that is pro Homewrecking didn't even state.

But this is the issue with being predisposed to wreck and destroy, facts don't matter, basic reading comprehension don't matter, and things like patience and perseverance are alien concepts.

We are strictly talking about our generation in the diaspora, don't conflate this with the Xaalimos of the same generation back home for whom I have great sympathy admiration and respect.

When your in doubt always look at the power dynamics, whoever has the most power is most at fault and in the west the male has no power.

This is why in Somalia I predominantly blame the males because they have the power, yet divorce rates their are nothing in comparison to here.

 

[Angelina]

Your conflating too many things together, couples that are persevering Vs lunatic diaspora xaalimo that wreck their homes over nothing.

As for the persevering couples it's not just the xaalimos doing this, but also the males who are denied basic marital rights that go unfilled for years and decades as well as basic respect especially our older generation, regardless of these challenges I respect these couples.

There is nothing to respect and goes to how how Jahil you are. Islamically not fulfilling each others rights is a sin and divorce whilst disliked isn’t if it’s a case of someone not getting their right or if a man or woman fears they’ll not be able to give their spouse their rights. Example is her wife of Thabit who sought divorce simply because she disliked her husband so much that she was afraid she wouldn’t be good wife to him and the Prophet s.a.w granted it to her.

People like you are weird extreme that treats marriage the way Catholics do in which your expect women more so to grin and bear it and for the men too although Somali men rarely do. They simply neglect and find another woman who is willing to give them what they want, but does a woman have that privilege? No she does not, hence you’re deceptive man who doesn’t illustrate the full picture and why I find you laughable.

Don't conflate this with those homewrecking females in the diaspora who pick and select their own husbands only to divorce them in the majority of cases over minor things that happen in all marriages that normal people just deal with.

Women pick and select their husbands back home and well get the divorce rates are high, so what now? In fact in the West, the ones with the most unstable marriages are the fobs. You see them on TikTok crying everyday about how a man did this or that. I have cousins who Aren’t even 23 divorced already. Very rarely see that amongst the diaspora born and raised girls.

I am not talking about the cases were divorce is legitimate, but these are not the majority and we both know this.

This thread is a perfect example that illustrates my point, all the xaalimos are singing from that same homewreckng hymn sheet in unison and support divorce, while the majority of males don't.

The sad part here is that most of these females haven't even read the thread properly and think the male kicked the wife and daughter out, which the OP didn't even state.

If that's not being predisposed to homewrecking I don't know what is, they made a decision based conjecture that even the OP that is pro Homewrecking didn't even state.

You literally thought the same thing and read it that way as well, so get out of here.

But this is the issue with being predisposed to wreck and destroy, facts don't matter, basic reading comprehension don't matter, and things like patience and perseverance are alien concepts.

Where was your comprehension? Where was your fact checking?

We are strictly talking about our generation in the diaspora, don't conflate this with the Xaalimos of the same generation back home for whom I have great sympathy admiration and respect.

Why is that when they too find their own husbands and have even more unstable marriages?

Also, you have no proof that divorce is even that common amongst the ones raised in the West. Many are from broken homes, but that’s their parents generation who are boomers and Gen X, Not young Millennials and Gen Z. In fact marriage rates are declining and people are marrying later.

When your in doubt always look at the power dynamics, whoever has the most power is most at fault and in the west the male has no power.

This is why in Somalia I predominantly blame the males because they have the power, yet divorce rates their are nothing in comparison to here.

Men having no power in the West is false. What particular lack of power does a Somali man have in the West that he doesn’t have back home apart from physical abuse and getting away with it or dangling provision like it’s a carrot in front of a poverty stricken wife?

Men are still in charge of divorce. Muslim women cannot get a divorce without the man. Khula courts are completely defunct in the West. Real power is in the Khaleej in which a woman can sue a man for not providing whilst a man in the West and Somalia can divorce and not give his child a single payment. They have the power to shirk their responsibility.

Im someone who no longer leaves in the West and the power of Somali men to divorce and act like he’s not a father is a power they have in the West and the East In Somalia in which you often see crying Xalimos back home with no Gov hand out the hardline gov of the Middle East in which the man would be forced to pay for his children.

You’re incredibly one minded and can’t see the real world around you due to your prejudice.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Acting like men who have divorce in their hands are miskeen victim and if you’re gonna go bring up the whole black bag fiasco, just know that’s not diaspora girls, it’s the older gen of Boomer and Gen X Islaamo who supposedly did this. Women who were born and raised back home who many had arranged marriages.

 

[Rayaale]

There is nothing to respect and goes to how how Jahil you are. Islamically not fulfilling each others rights is a sin and divorce whilst disliked isn’t if it’s a case of someone not getting their right or if a man or woman fears they’ll not be able to give their spouse their rights. Example is her wife of Thabit who sought divorce simply because she disliked her husband so much that she was afraid she wouldn’t be good wife to him and the Prophet s.a.w granted it to her.

People like you are weird extreme that treats marriage the way Catholics do in which your expect women more so to grin and bear it and for the men too although Somali men rarely do. They simply neglect and find another woman who is willing to give them what they want, but does a woman have that privilege? No she does not, hence you’re deceptive man who doesn’t illustrate the full picture and why I find you laughable.



Women pick and select their husbands back home and well get the divorce rates are high, so what now? In fact in the West, the ones with the most unstable marriages are the fobs. You see them on TikTok crying everyday about how a man did this or that. I have cousins who Aren’t even 23 divorced already. Very rarely see that amongst the diaspora born and raised girls.

You literally thought the same thing and read it that way as well, so get out of here.

Where was your comprehension? Where was your fact checking?

Why is that when they too find their own husbands and have even more unstable marriages?

Also, you have no proof that divorce is even that common amongst the ones raised in the West. Many are from broken homes, but that’s their parents generation who are boomers and Gen X, Not young Millennials and Gen Z. In fact marriage rates are declining and people are marrying later.

Men having no power in the West is false. What particular lack of power does a Somali man have in the West that he doesn’t have back home apart from physical abuse and getting away with it or dangling provision like it’s a carrot in front of a poverty stricken wife?

Men are still in charge of divorce. Muslim women cannot get a divorce without the man. Khula courts are completely defunct in the West. Real power is in the Khaleej in which a woman can sue a man for not providing whilst a man in the West and Somalia can divorce and not give his child a single payment. They have the power to shirk their responsibility.

Im someone who no longer leaves in the West and the power of Somali men to divorce and act like he’s not a father is a power they have in the West and the East In Somalia in which you often see crying Xalimos back home with no Gov hand out the hardline gov of the Middle East in which the man would be forced to pay for his children.

You’re incredibly one minded and can’t see the real world around you due to your prejudice.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Acting like men who have divorce in their hands are miskeen victim and if you’re gonna go bring up the whole black bag fiasco, just know that’s not diaspora girls, it’s the older gen of Boomer and Gen X Islaamo who supposedly did this. Women who were born and raised back home who many had arranged marriages.

Arranged marriage is not common back home,young couples date each other and choose

 

[Sophisticate]

Your father and mother had plenty of major arguments much worse than "this is my house respect me" wether you know about it or not, but they persevered through it.

In those days it was mostly arranged marriages unlike today, at what point are you going to hold these women accountable?

They picked their own partners, dated them for months and years often against the advice of family, birds of a feather flock together, whatever bad they say about him reflects even worse on her as she is the one that picked him.

What happened to perseverance through the consequences of your own actions ?

I didn't think you too embraced perpetual victimhood

It’s presumptive to claim insight into someone else’s family dynamics or suggest they’ve endured worse in silence. Every marriage has unique challenges, but these vary significantly, and mutual respect is foundational in any relationship.

This isn’t just about reconciling occasional disagreements; it’s about ensuring respect and fair treatment are consistently present. His ‘foot-in-mouth’ remark likely wasn’t an isolated incident but part of a broader pattern of dismissive behaviour she may have endured quietly.

Whether a marriage is arranged or freely chosen doesn’t guarantee stability. People change, and sometimes behaviours emerge that weren’t initially visible. Accountability is shared, and placing blame solely on one partner’s choice of the other oversimplifies complex dynamics. Ending a relationship without respect or support shouldn’t be viewed as ‘giving up’ or failing to endure.

Endurance and perseverance are essential but don’t mean tolerating ongoing disrespect or harm. Leaving a harmful situation is often a sign of strength, not victimhood. Based on what @Yaraye has shared, she’s been saving face for him, and we can’t fully know what has occurred behind closed doors. Women often hold back from openly criticizing their partners, even under challenging conditions, until they feel they have no other choice. When a woman finally voices her grievances, it’s often because the issues have grown too serious to ignore or other avenues of resolution have been exhausted.

 

[Nak-Muay-Femeu]

What's the big deal? (unless it wasn't the first time)

I saw plenty of Abtis get their shit packed in black pin bags told to get the f*ck out. Only for them to reconcile a few weeks later. This shit was so common back in the early 2000s. And it was predominantly women who abused having that level of power lol

If we're being a 100% honest, your cousin just wasn't into him anymore. She honestly did him a favour if she was willing to nuke the marriage over something so trivial.

 

[Yaraye]

all that from her saying i dissagree its clear who has an overinflated ego lmao

wild isn't it? and we're called emotional lol

 

[Sophisticate]

What's the big deal? (unless it wasn't the first time)

I saw plenty of Abtis get their shit packed in black pin bags told to get the f*ck out. Only for them to reconcile a few weeks later. This shit was so common back in the early 2000s. And it was predominantly women who abused having that level of power lol

If we're being a 100% honest, your cousin just wasn't into him anymore. She honestly did him a favour if she was willing to nuke the marriage over something so trivial.

Who remembers Qabyo?

 

[empressjamila]

Your father and mother had plenty of major arguments much worse than "this is my house respect me" wether you know about it or not, but they persevered through it.

In those days it was mostly arranged marriages unlike today, at what point are you going to hold these women accountable?

They picked their own partners, dated them for months and years often against the advice of family, birds of a feather flock together, whatever bad they say about him reflects even worse on her as she is the one that picked him.

What happened to perseverance through the consequences of your own actions ?

I didn't think you too embraced perpetual victimhood



She supports home wrecking and making a poor girl fatherless, while I support the opposite, but of course in your deranged delusional world what she is doing is good, because you have the same predisposition to destroy rather than build.


You brought the 25% figure not me, divorce has never been as rife as it is today and to argue it was is simply false and shows your out of touch with reality.

Go and speak to the masjid boards responsible for matrimonials, speak to football and basketball coaches that train large group of young males, speak to youth club leaders, speak to community leaders, even the those female lead agree.

He'll even speak to the countless females raised in fatherless homes, it's an absolute pandemic we are talking 75% divorce figures if not worse.

Even the Non Muslims haven't gone as low as we have, your clearly out of touch with reality so there is no point even continuing this discussion.

It's been over a decade now and I have yet to come across a case were the male wanted divorce and the wife wanted to save the marriage, or even a case of mutual divorce, it's always the xaalimos that want it, this is of course universal it's not just xaalimos, but they are far worse then the rest.

There is no accountability and responsibility in your post just pure victimhood, unlike the history your so fixated with, the diaspora xaalimo's gets to pick their own husbands with the unprecedented opportunity to date him for months or years before marrying him, something unheard of in history.

But you want us to believe that they are all just innocent, bad at choosing their own partners, and that all of these males are just terrible, hence they are justified to be homewreckers.

They select, they choose to date, they choose to marry them, than they choose to divorce them, unprecedented power that is used to destroy rather build.

You clearly haven't read the first post of the OP, he didn't kick her out, she left on her own volition which is actually against Islam.

Even if he divorced her, they have to stay together in the same house until the iddah period expires, he is not allowed to kick her out nor is she allowed to leave.

This is basic Islam, but because of your emotional rage, and predisposition to home wrecking, you’re incapable to even discern the basics, or even comprehend the basics facts of her message.

“Predisposition to home wrecking”

You clearly have a bias against Somali women so I don’t feel like wasting my energy, debating my points with you. It would be like talking to a brick wall.

Go find your ajanabi wife and take your emotional rants elsewhere.

 

[Angelina]

What's the big deal? (unless it wasn't the first time)

I saw plenty of Abtis get their shit packed in black pin bags told to get the f*ck out. Only for them to reconcile a few weeks later. This shit was so common back in the early 2000s. And it was predominantly women who abused having that level of power lol

If we're being a 100% honest, your cousin just wasn't into him anymore. She honestly did him a favour if she was willing to nuke the marriage over something so trivial.

What power did they have? Because their scamming husbands told them to act like single mothers so that the house can be under their name whilst the husbands worked to build houses back home they later move in with their second wives?

This so called power was due to their scamming and emasculating behavior of not wanting to be full providers and that was the result and we see it now as well with how shattered the Somali community is.

 

[Kalsoon]

@Yaraye May Allah make it easier for you cousin.

What preceded this?
Have they gotten close to divorce before or was this the first time ?
What's the religiosity level of both individuals? Were either of them previously married?
Did her ex husband have his father in his life growing up?
You mentioned they used to argue like normal before, did they ever try to get help for that or fix the underlying issues themselves?