Romance ruined by a clash of clans

[Tokio]

cadanka dabada uraya ha gursadane daa......walee markey shabuuga dabada u qabtaan they will wish they stayed with their own. ninkan cadankii hadu garaco halkey u ashgoteyn doota? kan somaliga ah qabilkisaba qabanayee.

 

[Carré]

Sorry @Carré This story just appeared on my Facebook and I shared it - I had no idea what it was but I thought it was interesting. All stories should be good enough to stand alone but if people don't like it they might like the rest - Goldilocks and three bears style.

No don't apologize. I know you didn't know - you didn't even know these stories were a collection of stories due to be released as a book later (hopefully). I guess people would find offence in everything

 

[Shamis]

No don't apologize. I know you didn't know - you didn't even know these stories were a collection of stories due to be released as a book later (hopefully). I guess people would find offence in everything

Aaww babes! This is a sensitive subject, clan and race mixed in one - then add gender into the mix and it would be explosive. The best stories will elicit a strong response - no one loved American Psycho's themes but it was a hit! I bet they'd still buy this series because of the controversial subject matter.

 

[Jubba_Man]

You don't know if everything this guy has written is fact or not. It's just my opinion, that some parts of his story seemed made up. Because it is very hard to believe a clannish woman would marry Ghanian. What makes u think a somali woman who is too proud to be married to a somali guy from small clan would go for a guy who is not even somali. Usually clannish people married within their clan. I just think some parts are not true that is just my opinion but Allaahu Aclam.

Trust me, but I know many cases like this in the real world. Many, maybe even majority of Somali parents, prefer their kids to marry an ajnabi than a Somali man from an "unknown" qabil (qabil they don't traditionally live with back in Somalia). You can forget about a marrying from a qabil in which you share bad blood. The ex-con Madow who sells hard drugs for a living is more preferable to marrying the daughter of any Somali family than a Somali who has all of his shit together but hails from such a qabil. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, as I feel completely indifferent to the matter, but it's just how the way it is. My own female family members would always choose to marry an ajnabi reject than the best Hawiye man, and this preference is certainly approved and considered acceptable by their parents.

 

[Jubba_Man]

Whoever said an women apply a different criteria to an men than ajnabis deserves a roaring round of applause. For the an man, a rough checklist looks like:

-Must be ridiculously good looking. Should have at least had some talks with modelling agencies before.
- Must be ≥ 6'3+
-Must have a PhD.
-Must have the killer combination of intellect, humor, and "swag".
-Must be from either my sub-clan or a very small list of "acceptable" sub-clans.
-Must be earning a 6 figure job.
-Must have a car model that is no older than 3 years.
-Must have made a down payment on a house whose principal value exceeds 700K.
-Must be willing to pay for a 50K wedding and a 100K honeymoon.
-Must be willing to pay 20K mehr.
And after meeting all of these requirements, you will still deal with booq iyo qeylo at every chance she gets and she will want to divorce you at the smallest chance.

For ajnabis, it looks like this:
-Can he breathe?
-Is he "on the verge" to convert?
-Is he at least on cayr?
-Can he at least string two sentences together?
-Does he have at least half of his teeth?
-Is he at least within 150 lbs of being considered normal weight?
-Are all of his vital organs intact?
-Can he afford a tufaax as the mehr?
-Can he at least afford to take me around with the bus?
If most (not all) of these are met, then it's time to bring those "Islamic talks" and "jahiliyah" to the parents and most of the time it's unnecessary because an parents have no problem with their kids marrying ajnabis. Only a handful would object at first, but they come around over time. During the course of the marriage, despite living at or below the poverty line, she will never raise her voice with him and will be completely obedient and compliant to his every wish. She will be the perfect wife for him to the point he starts bragging about how an women make for the best wives.

 

[John Michael]

@Darod_Supremacy you really gave me some ideas with your lists! Put a lot of things into perspective, I need to consider swag and car model when I'm talking to a somali guy. I'll keep it in mind when I'm husband hunting.

Good looking out!

 

[SomaliSpotter]

Its not fiction friend. From the website:



The problem with people in this thread is that they haven't read the other accounts and stories told on the website and base their total judgement on this entire book based on this one story that they didn't like or resonate with them. If @Shamis had posted the first account, which was about a young couple in their early 20s who had been courting for 3 years. The dude had gotten tired of this and had gone to sleep with other women, leaving the woman he had courted for 3 years away. The story later spirals down with the woman meeting another man and getting happily married, while the young man had gotten another woman pregnant and had many other issues to deal with. The young man had even approached the woman even though she was already married, and asked if he could have an affair with her.

Imagine the reaction if @Shamis had posted that story?

See any flaws here, or is it just me?

I find these stories very interesting. The differences on how romantic relationships work back home and in the diaspora is what these interviews are trying to convey. Most of the people in the interview are from the diaspora, and trying to integrate into this new society and have the romantic relationships in the west like how they wanted back home, would bring problems of their own.

So instead of fighting about whether the young lady was MJ or not, or whether these stories are real or not, how about we look at what these stories are really trying to tell us instead?

So it isn't fiction, eh? Hmm! You said Shamis' OP was an excerpt from a book that's about to come out soon so I assumed it was a fiction novel. Well, I really believe we need all the writers we can get, whether fiction or non-fiction writers, since a lot of our youth back home don't read at all.

PS: The problem here is that anything Somali-related that mentions a clan and Somali cities/regions will generate heated discussion and before you know the whole topic will head completely different direction.

 

[Queen Carawelo]

PS: The problem here is that anything Somali-related that mentions a clan and Somali cities/regions will generate heated discussion and before you know the whole topic will head completely different direction.

Why do people do this? Smh. Shame, shaaaaaaame.

 

[SomaliSpotter]

Why do people do this? Smh. Shame, shaaaaaaame.

Look who's talking? The biggest shit-stirrer when it comes to qabiil talks. You can do better than that. You really disappoint me time and again. Shame on you, Idol.

 

[Queen Carawelo]

Look who's talking? The biggest shit-stirrer when it comes to qabiil talks. You can do better than that. You really disappoint me time and again. Shame on you, Idol.

lol


Disappoint you? .

But seriously I always laugh at qabiil dismissers. Qabiil is in our DNA.

But I was talking about the topic hijackers.

 

[SomaliSpotter]

lol


Disappoint you? .

But seriously I always laugh at qabiil dismissers. Qabiil is in our DNA.

But I was talking about the topic hijackers.

Holy shit! Me taking the piss didn't piss you off? Well, there's a first time for everything. lol

Nah! Qabiil is not in my DNA. Qabiils are made-up names and most importantly, what I do with my life, whether good or bad, is what defines me and not something I had nothing to do with in the first place. It was just a biological accident that I came to be from Somali people, from the tribe I happened to be from and the family I was born in. I was not consulted with any of that.

And that, my young lady, is why I don't take either pride or guilt to run around with my tribal lineage. I would probably be associated with criminals who I never met in my life and have nothing to do with just because we happen to from the same clan, or be accused with this or that because of ............. you know where I am going with it. If I have to be hated, liked, insulted, admired or whatever the f*ck I have to be seen as, it must be what I am/do, not something I had no control of, if that makes sense.

 

[Carré]

Holy shit! Me taking the piss didn't piss you off? Well, there's a first time for everything. lol

Nah! Qabiil is not in my DNA. Qabiils are made-up names and most importantly, what I do with my life, whether good or bad, is what defines me and not something I had nothing to do with in the first place. It was just a biological accident that I came to be from Somali people, from the tribe I happened to be from and the family I was born in. I was not consulted with any of that.

And that, my young lady, is why I don't take either pride or guilt to run around with my tribal lineage. I would probably be associated with criminals who I never met in my life and have nothing to do with just because we happen to from the same clan, or be accused with this or that because of ............. you know where I am going with it. If I have to be hated, liked, insulted, admired or whatever the f*ck I have to be seen as, it must be what I am/do, not something I had no control of, if that makes sense.

And this is why you'll never catch me in a qabil thread.