The Satan story:
God loves Satan more than anyone else ever created.
God decides to create these puppets out of clay
Satan is OK with that
God says 'now bow to these puppets'
Satan: WTF, no, you said only bow to you - cheeky God, almost got me there. I'll hold my ground, this test is weird.
God gets super angry and Satan is confused beyond words
Angels try to intervene between God and Satan and they're like "Hey God - that thing looks evil, why'ja make it?"
God: Don't give me backchat, I'm God, I know what I'm doing
Angels get away with it because their free will function was kind of broken that day
God betrays the Angels and Satan by letting these evil looking puppets into HEAVEN without them ever earning any ajar for it, unlike Satan.
Their only test was to not eat a fruit but they have all of heaven - Satan decides to test their faith in God - who they know personally
He merely mentions the sin to them and they eat the friggin thing
Satan is proved right - he tries to tell God that him and the angels were right all along but.........
ITS TOO LATE - GOD HAS A HISSY FIT AND SATAN AND THE PUPPETS MUST FIGHT FOR A MILLENIA (SATAN GETS NEARLY ALL THE BLAME - ETERNAL DAMNATION FOR HIM AND ONLY SOME HUMANS.
The End.
b-but he must known they was gonna do that tho, wats the point?
The whole world really is a stage fam