Should Somalis adopt the concept of arranged marriage?

[empressjamila]

I saw this tweet from a Somali-Yemeni girl on Twitter which I found interesting because arranged marriages aren’t all too common in Somali culture

How would you feel if arranged marriage became a common, widespread concept in Somali culture? Are you for it? Against it?

Forced marriage is 100% no for me but personally I think Somali communities should be a little more proactive in setting young people up with each other because young men and women are left to their own devices and then families wonder why they don’t bring someone ideal home

 

[Canjeero-Iyo-Shaax]

No against.

Makes you too invested into making the arrangement work, regardless of your doubts. (Need to make Aabo and or Hooyo proud)

Better to find a potential organically, you’ll appreciate it more. With regards to tribalism I’ve found most if not all people don’t care outside of Somalia. Although I will say I’ve found a lot of landers (not all) either hate malis themselves or there parents hate them so it’s hit or miss there. (In reer UK)

 

[Xoxoxo]

And marry within the tribe my mom hails from and getting children that will have diseases? No thank you

 

[Sol]

Nothing wrong with it unless you're being forced into it

 

[Clllam]

What? Somalis practised arranged marriages

 

[KobeBryant]

Your struggling to get married?

 

[The alchemist]

The divorce rate for arranged marriages is very low. Put that in contrast to where most of us live, where the rate of divorce is at 50%, a rate that weakens a civilization's resilience against widening odds of collapse.

The piece of idealism we all carry with us does not guarantee long-term survival. We're all delusional and irresponsible in a lot of ways.

 

[Unbothered]

Hell no to cousin marriages unless you are socially awkward and can’t find someone to marry you lool

 

[Enter]

I'm very much pro arranged marriages. This arrogance and weird flex of looking down on arranged marriages is the cause behind all the calacaal in the community. Even among Somalis, cadcads fare much better when it comes to marriage precisely because they're pro-active.

I used to talk to one and I was genuinely surprised when she said she was helping her older brother marry a girl she knew through her friend. It's respectable.

I don't even think forced marriage should be brought up. Those are vastly different concepts

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

The alternative is a "love" marriage in a society that absolutely loathes the nuclear family, a society where divorce is almost encouraged. Pajeets were ahead of the curve wallahi lol

Hell no to cousin marriages unless you are socially awkward and can’t find someone to marry you lool

What if the cousins in question are 10/10s?

 

[Xoxoxo]

I'm very much pro arranged marriages. This arrogance and weird flex of looking down on arranged marriages is the cause behind all the calacaal in the community. Even among Somalis, cadcads fare much better when it comes to marriage precisely because they're pro-active.

I used to talk to one and I was genuinely surprised when she said she was helping her older brother marry a girl she knew through her friend. It's respectable.

I don't even think forced marriage should be brought up. Those are vastly different concepts

No I can assure you they aren’t good. People on my mother side have done that shit for ages and diseases are rampant in their community as no other, and that’s because they use arranged marriage to force people to marry within their own sub-clan.

Somalis (as with everything) will abuse it and use Tribes as a main thing

 

[Abdisamad]

If it involves getting married to a fine gazelle like @Sophisticate I'm 110% for it

 

[empressjamila]

Your struggling to get married?

Not at all. But with all the quick divorces and dysfunctional marriages in the Somali community maybe we should encourage matchmaking with suitable individuals

 

[empressjamila]

No I can assure you they aren’t good. People on my mother side have done that shit for ages and diseases are rampant in their community as no other, and that’s because they use arranged marriage to force people to marry within their own sub-clan.

Somalis (as with everything) will abuse it and use Tribes as a main thing

It doesn’t have to be with cousins though

Maybe it’s a good things somalis don’t do arranged marriages much. Too qabilist

 

[Abdisamad]

If it involves getting married to a fine gazelle like @Sophisticate I'm 110% for it

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[solo_man]

Reading some of the comments here This is why somalis fail and pakistanis and some arabs and cad cad are smarter this is one of the other reasons why somalis stuck in same place pakistanis are smarter

I know of a pakistani brother who married his cousin and 10 years later still with his wife and is happy lives like a king and alot of the friends we share alot of them divorced or in marriage living in hell we use to say nah to him but now it was a very smart idea from his part he still lives it up and does him travel when he wants etc

cad cad do the arrange marriage stuff also they keep the money inhouse and you have more control over your woman etc

 

[solo_man]

I'm very much pro arranged marriages. This arrogance and weird flex of looking down on arranged marriages is the cause behind all the calacaal in the community. Even among Somalis, cadcads fare much better when it comes to marriage precisely because they're pro-active.

I used to talk to one and I was genuinely surprised when she said she was helping her older brother marry a girl she knew through her friend. It's respectable.

I don't even think forced marriage should be brought up. Those are vastly different concepts

my point eactly thats why somalis will be fucked pakistanis/cacad and some arabs do this and they get better control and less risk of a woman messing your life

 

[karkaar]

Your parent will usually find you a good match and will consider many things before pitching a person,im not fussed, either I stumble into one or my parents can give me a suggestion which I can suss out.Its generally good to get the parents involved because at the end of the day you're marrying a family not only a women, its a responsibility upon all muslim men to choose good mothers for their children.

 

[Xoxoxo]

Reading some of the comments here This is why somalis fail and pakistanis and some arabs and cad cad are smarter this is one of the other reasons why somalis stuck in same place pakistanis are smarter

I know of a pakistani brother who married his cousin and 10 years later still with his wife and is happy lives like a king and alot of the friends we share alot of them divorced or in marriage living in hell we use to say nah to him but now it was a very smart idea from his part he still lives it up and does him travel when he wants etc

cad cad do the arrange marriage stuff also they keep the money inhouse and you have more control over your woman etc

Just say you want to marry your own cousin and go. Somalis will abuse this system.

We as cadcads have done this because people refused to get married with us so we didn’t had any choice nigga. So don’t use us an example because we had no choice, it was that or die off

 

[Enter]

No I can assure you they aren’t good. People on my mother side have done that shit for ages and diseases are rampant in their community as no other, and that’s because they use arranged marriage to force people to marry within their own sub-clan.

Somalis (as with everything) will abuse it and use Tribes as a main thing

That's if you perpetually marry first cousins, even then it's mildly overblown. Not that I'm saying people should marry their cousins. Hard no for me, but that's for cultural reasons. It's too alien and uncomfortable for me.

Forced marriage is never good, whether it's your cousin or some KPOP pretty boy called jim jing so. The point is that arranged marriages are a net positive.

I'm going to assume you're reer xamar? I do know they pressure to marry within the family South Asian style. But that's not necessary for it to be an arranged marriage.