I may be speaking from a biased perspective, thus I you never take my word for anything. Nobody is immune to bias. However, I completely agree. The Hadith makes some insane and outlandish claims that simply cannot be taken literally. There's one for example that my head rolling. For example:
This is wrong emphatically wrong! I mean, its not really surprising that a seventh century person would state something like this.
Another example:
This completely contradictions the scientific evidence. Who discharges first has nothing to do with the DNA of the child. I may be wrong, however, I think it was the Ancient Greek scientists who thought like this. More evidence of copy and pasting.
However, without the Quran, how do you pray? It also has many scientific errors too like how how the Quran states the Earth was created before the heavens and it took longer create it as well, or maybe how stars are lamps that adorn the lowest heavens completely ignorant of the fact that those are stars more magnificent than ours that dwarf it in every way.
I agree that once you begin to doubt, no matter how much you try to quench the fire, it never goes away. Take me for example, I first began doubting at 16 and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop questioning the shit my teachers were telling me. I was very much like you.
I came across those two hadiths you mentioned and they were also contributed to me just giving up on hadiths all together. There was another one about how the bad omen lies in the women, horse and the house. You totally right it does sound like something a pagan arab from the 9th century would just make up and attribute to the prophet (saw).
Initially the thought about how to do prayer also come up when I was first seriously considering quran only Islam. However, the quran does actually outline how to pray, allah says to stand bow and prostrate. The quran also outlines how to do wudu before prayer. The reason I started this thread is because I was reading about how some ex muslims had this quran only phase and that was like a step to them giving up on islam all together and this really scared me. No offence to you, but I find the thought of atheism depressing, empty and just utterly devoid of any comfort. Again I don't wish to offend your atheism.