Somali woman rant's on about Intermarriage: ''Stick to your own blood''
- Thread starter Geeljire
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The sunnah is to marry only one wife while she dies. These najdi brainwashed individuals who are thinking with theyr sexual desires rather then the rights of theyr future wives are using our perfect deen as a tool for their deviancy. The prophet sallahu alayhi wa sallam only married one wife for 25 years until she passed away radiallahu anha and every marriage after that was mainly for political reasons. This is also what the scholars of shafi'i madhab have to say on this:
Imam Ash-Shirbeeni rahimahullah said: "It is a Sunnah not to marry more than one wife if there is no apparent need".
Imam Abu al-Hasan Al-Maawardi rahimahullah said: "Allaah has permitted a man to marry up to four wives, saying: {…two or three or four…}, but Allaah advised that it is desirable for man to marry only one wife, saying: {...But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one} Ibn Daawood and a group who follow the methodology of Ath-Thaahir (sticking to the apparent meaning of texts while denying the validity of analogical reasoning) are of the opinion that it is better to marry four wives if the person is able to fulfill their needs and he should not restrict himself to marrying only one wife, as the Prophet (PBUH) did not restrict himself to marrying only one. However, Ash-Shaafi’i is of the view that it is desirable to confine oneself to marrying only one although it is permissible for him to marry more than one. This is to avoid being unfair by being more inclined to some of them than others, or being unable to financially support them. The more preponderant opinion in my view is that this depends on the condition of the husband; if he is satisfied with only one, then it is more appropriate for him not to marry a second wife, and if he is not satisfied with only one wife because he has a strong desire and an excessive need to have sexual intercourse so often, then he may marry as many as will satisfy him, be it two, three or four, in order that he lower his gaze and protect his private parts from unlawful sexual intercourse".
Even in the hanbali madhab which is the fiqh these najdis claim to follow in the minor issues the giant Shaykh al Islam Mawaffaq ad-Din Ibn Qudama said: "It is more appropriate to marry only one wife. The author of Al-Muharrar [i.e. Abul Barakaat Al-Majd ibn Taymiyyah] said this, based on the saying of Allaah (which means) {...But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one}."
The wisdom behind polygamy being merely halal is believed by many of 'ulamah when in society spinsterhood becomes widespread or there are a lot of widows and divorcees like in times of war. In spite of it being halal what is sunnah is clear. Oh and whoever said a sister cannot stipulate in her marriage contract that no more wives may be married or the marriage will be invalid is completely wrong. I am aware of no difference of opinion among the 'ulamah on this from the madhahib and even the najdis seem to support this:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If the wife stipulates that her husband should not take another wife, this is a valid condition and he must adhere to it; if he does take another wife, she has the right to annul the marriage contract.
That is because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418), that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The conditions that are most deserving to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.”
And because he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that makes something permissible forbidden or makes something forbidden permissible.”
https://islamqa.info/en/143120
Imam Ash-Shirbeeni rahimahullah said: "It is a Sunnah not to marry more than one wife if there is no apparent need".
Imam Abu al-Hasan Al-Maawardi rahimahullah said: "Allaah has permitted a man to marry up to four wives, saying: {…two or three or four…}, but Allaah advised that it is desirable for man to marry only one wife, saying: {...But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one} Ibn Daawood and a group who follow the methodology of Ath-Thaahir (sticking to the apparent meaning of texts while denying the validity of analogical reasoning) are of the opinion that it is better to marry four wives if the person is able to fulfill their needs and he should not restrict himself to marrying only one wife, as the Prophet (PBUH) did not restrict himself to marrying only one. However, Ash-Shaafi’i is of the view that it is desirable to confine oneself to marrying only one although it is permissible for him to marry more than one. This is to avoid being unfair by being more inclined to some of them than others, or being unable to financially support them. The more preponderant opinion in my view is that this depends on the condition of the husband; if he is satisfied with only one, then it is more appropriate for him not to marry a second wife, and if he is not satisfied with only one wife because he has a strong desire and an excessive need to have sexual intercourse so often, then he may marry as many as will satisfy him, be it two, three or four, in order that he lower his gaze and protect his private parts from unlawful sexual intercourse".
Even in the hanbali madhab which is the fiqh these najdis claim to follow in the minor issues the giant Shaykh al Islam Mawaffaq ad-Din Ibn Qudama said: "It is more appropriate to marry only one wife. The author of Al-Muharrar [i.e. Abul Barakaat Al-Majd ibn Taymiyyah] said this, based on the saying of Allaah (which means) {...But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one}."
The wisdom behind polygamy being merely halal is believed by many of 'ulamah when in society spinsterhood becomes widespread or there are a lot of widows and divorcees like in times of war. In spite of it being halal what is sunnah is clear. Oh and whoever said a sister cannot stipulate in her marriage contract that no more wives may be married or the marriage will be invalid is completely wrong. I am aware of no difference of opinion among the 'ulamah on this from the madhahib and even the najdis seem to support this:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If the wife stipulates that her husband should not take another wife, this is a valid condition and he must adhere to it; if he does take another wife, she has the right to annul the marriage contract.
That is because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418), that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The conditions that are most deserving to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.”
And because he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions, except a condition that makes something permissible forbidden or makes something forbidden permissible.”
https://islamqa.info/en/143120
Because we Somalis are communal people, we are not individualists. So of course we care when these women give us a bad rep like that.
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But young somalis born and raised here are individualist and the society they live in promotes individualism. Somali parents do not care also to promote collectivism. I like and tolerate these aspects of individualism that dont go against the deen but it also has many bad sides.
Communalism is very much cultural for Somalis. Thats why you have unrelated eedos looking out for ya or even calling your mom if shee sees you doing something innappropiate. Its not to shame you but to condemn which that we think is not right or normal and correct eachother. So that things like that which hold no benefit for their community as a whole will never be normalized
As the Holy Prophet (PBUH) said: “Each of you is a keeper or a shepherd and will be questioned about the well-being of his fold” (Bukhari and Muslim).
Thats true but may also explain why Somali parents are having a hard time adjusting to raising theyr children in these environments by giving them all this freedom. That mentality of it takes a village to raise a child might work very well in Somalia but here not so much. It is also much harder to command the good and forbid the evil in these societies even though it is a very good sunnah and is a mainstay of muslim societies like back in Somalia. Many of the elder generation feel it isnt theyr place to discipline the young ones as they would back home which even makes the problem much more acute.
Technically that's not a good enough reason for divorce. In an Islamic country that won't hold up in court.
True but if the woman has a good reason she's allowed to get a divorce. Some women can handle polygamy for others it's an unbearable hardship and on such grounds the woman can seek Khula. By the way in Islam the woman can seek divorce even for something as minor as 'losing attraction' for her husband let alone all of these trials that come with being a co wife. During the prophets time (saw) a woman asked divorce from her husband and she didn't even explain why (out of respect for her husband) and the prophet (saw) helped her get her divorce.
I think speaks alot more to the vulgar individualism of the west and the mistrust between Somali clans thats the cause.
I've noticed Asians, Turks, Arabs tend to have a very strong family unit with the father at the forefront. Some Somali men hardly play a part in their children's life except maybe financially. A daughter needs a father in her life, this matter is more complex than meets the eye.
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