Syrian man’s family is against him marrying a Somali woman. Is it racism?

[Kisame]

He is likely still an undergraduate, so he's probably not very old (or fresh out of uni). She is not the only person available unless, of course, he suffers from oneitis and Romeo syndrome. It's not the end of the world. His parents would probably have an easier time shopping him around within the community if he was more established. It's hard to market a guy who is still in university and isn't a doctor, lawyer, engineer or some other professional making a comfortable living. Parents provide social support, so they should be concerned; it is their business.

It takes too long to get established sophisticate.

Young men are willing to marry chicks they fall in love with while in uni

 

[Killamenace78]

My blood boils when I read posts like this and for every Somali reading this if your marrying a man or woman and the family won’t accept you move on don’t try to prove yourself and change their opinion if they wanna be childish and be racist it’s on them imagine having to tell your kids “yeah your grandparents were originally racist but I begged them and convinced them” that’s so embarrassing move on

 

[Step a side]

99% of Ayrab parents are not OK having their son or daughter marrying a Black person and it doesn't change the fact if they're a Ayrab bootyclaping Somali. It would be like your parents not being OK (mine would be OK with it) with marrying a Bantu, except times infinity.

I like the way you separated your parents from the rest

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Many Arabs and East Africans use to look down on Somalis due to the war in our homeland. Many Tigrays use to laugh @ Somalis suffering, Now they ask prominent Somalis on social media to highlight their wars and problems.

One Eritrean guy told me their parents use to warn them against hanging around with too many Somali boys. I am not surprised by that since Somali boys are over represented in ciyaal suuq culture

tigray are funny. they keep begging attention for their conflicts. The fact is no one in the horn cares lmao

 

[AbdiFreedom]

I like the way you separated your parents from the rest

Some Somalian will try to act smart and mention my parents so I had to say it before they did.

Their deen is on point so it was a factual statement. My household was like living under the Taliban. I would get lectured for entering the hamaam with my right foot while others were going to mixed weddings as young kids. We are not the same.

I'm very easygoing and liberal now.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

The average sudani isn’t a fan of Somalis btw I’ve seen how they talk about us on twitter

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[Sophisticate]

It takes too long to get established sophisticate.

Young men are willing to marry chicks they fall in love with while in uni

Young men are not a monolith. Some would not even waste their time talking to women in their formative years when they are getting themselves together until they feel financially ready. These sort often end up better off in the long run. I'm speaking about my peers who are the established ones now.

 

[Wonyluvr]

I feel bad for them but a Somali would be against their kid marrying an Ajnabi just as much

 

[Keep it a boqol]

I feel bad for them but a Somali would be against their kid marrying an Ajnabi just as much

gabar gotta stop begging it to a family that doesn’t want her. It’s actually dangerous and sounds like a recipe for a disaster. she needs to bounce

 

[Wonyluvr]

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Yeah I saw Sudanese people celebrating Ramadan in Xamar they are good people it’s just the Half Arab ones who have us constantly in their mouths

 

[Wonyluvr]

gabar gotta stop begging it to a family that doesn’t want her. It’s actually dangerous and sounds like a recipe for a disaster. she needs to bounce

Her family love him but his doesnt love her yeah she should go far away

 

[Sophisticate]

Idk men tend to really love women who are into them when they have nothing to their names. His parents have to introduce him to a girl he will like relatively soon. If they wait until once he’s established he will know off rip this new girl wouldn’t love him like the Somali one. He might turn out to be like one of those guys who treat marriage like a business and their wives business partners.

A man with nothing to his name is a possible liability. She could in fact be the starter marriage or placeholder for someone else. You cannot be for certain about people in the future. The sense of urgency is false. He does not need to jump into marriage immediately like his rent is due. I would suggest listening to the parents and finding a better option both he and his family would agree on. As for love. There isn't one person only out there. And she isn't going to be the one that got away. I can promise that. Marriage was always a social contract and a family affair. It is also conditional. That does not mean it is loveless but that conditions ought to he satisfied for it to flourish. Some random girl he met at university could be replaced and all the affections he had for her transfered to someone else at another time.

 

[Kisame]

Young men are not a monolith. Some would not even waste their time talking to women in their formative years when they are getting themselves together until they feel financially ready. These sort often end up better off in the long run. I'm speaking about my peers who are the established ones now.

"These sort often end up better off in the long run. "

I agree on this but this is a tough task for a lot of men simply because it takes too long for most people. Avg man doesn't become financially stable until his late 20s.

"Young men are not a monolith. Some would not even waste their time talking to women in their formative years when they are getting themselves together until they feel financially ready. "

It's only conservative religious men doing this tbh and a lot of these niggas end up as incels.

 

[Laiis]

99% of Ayrab parents are not OK having their son or daughter marrying a Black person and it doesn't change the fact if they're a Ayrab bootyclaping Somali. It would be like your parents not being OK (mine would be OK with it) with marrying a Bantu, except times infinity.

If I said this they would’ve jumped me & called me a victim

 

[Sophisticate]

"These sort often end up better off in the long run. "

I agree on this but this is a tough task for a lot of men simply because it takes too long for most people. Avg man doesn't become financially stable until his late 20s.

"Young men are not a monolith. Some would not even waste their time talking to women in their formative years when they are getting themselves together until they feel financially ready. "

It's only conservative religious men doing this tbh and a lot of these niggas end up as incels.

My father didn't marry until he was established, and historically, men from Northern Somalia didn't marry until they had their ducks in a row financially. You have a lot more leverage when you are financially together. Also, a lot of those young marriages don't tend to last very long. No offence, but people should think long-term, not what is easy or convenient. You won't get very far in life that way. Chances are they'll have a better bet and a better selection later.

Inceldom has nothing to do with marital status and everything to do with harbouring toxic and misogynistic attitudes. It is more of a negative predisposition. So stop the cap. Diligent, conscientious and hardworking men have more choices and will likely make better spouses.

 

[Kisame]

My father didn't marry until he was established, and historically, men from Northern Somalia didn't marry until they had their ducks in a row financially. You have a lot more leverage when you are financially together. Also, a lot of those young marriages don't tend to last very long. No offence, but people should think long-term, not what is easy or convenient. You won't get very far in life that way. Chances are they'll have a better bet and a better selection later.

Inceldom has nothing to do with marital status and everything to do with harbouring toxic and misogynistic attitudes. So stop the cap. Diligent, conscientious and hardworking men have more choices and will likely make better spouses.

"Inceldom has nothing to do with marital status and everything to do with harbouring toxic and misogynistic attitudes. "

These young dudes waiting until they're financially stable will get salty seeing chicks around the same age as them dating around.

Waiting until your financially stable just to date your age mates isn't worth it for most guys because it takes too long.

I'd say it's even tougher for somali guys since most of us come from low income backgrounds.

 

[Sophisticate]

"Inceldom has nothing to do with marital status and everything to do with harbouring toxic and misogynistic attitudes. "

These young dudes waiting until they're financially stable will get salty seeing chicks around the same age as them dating around.

Waiting until your financially stable just to date your age mates isn't worth it for most guys because it takes too long.

I'd say it's even tougher for somali guys since most of us come from low income backgrounds.

You are making assumptions about what they think. As I said, you don't get far in life if you are heavily concerned about others' opinions. Being a broke 'ninja' struggling to pay for dates isn't commendable. Nor is prematurely getting yourself into a struggle marriage.

 

[Laiis]

Which one of you niggas went to the post and wrote this shit Allah ceeebtttaaaa

 

[Burqad]

My cousin was almost disowned for marrying a Syrian woman, what’s wrong with preferring your own?

 

[Kisame]

You are making assumptions about what they think. As I said, you don't get far in life if you are heavily concerned about others' opinions. Being a broke 'ninja' struggling to pay for dates isn't commendable. Nor is prematurely getting yourself into a struggle marriage.

Im literally a nigga sophisticate.

I've seen what these niggas go through.

Most of these niggas aren't in a position where they can become financially stable by 22 years old. It takes a very long time for most of these guys.

Some of these niggas will be waiting until their early 30s if they decided to avoid women until they're financially stable.

Even Somali men back home aren't waiting that long