The Dysfunctional Somali Diaspora Household: A Analysis

[Jaydaan]

This thread is wayyy too biased against Somali males.

Hannah the Hounslow Hoochie

She often goes by 4 different government names and carries an Iphone with a cracked screen due to dropping it many times in the club grinding up on a Madow guy whilst under the influence.

Though she looks unapproachable, Hannah tends to be welcoming depending on what you can offer her. She is street smart, has a cuck like @IslamIsTheAnswer as her free Uber driver and tends to avoid girls because she is fiery and known to be too explosive. If you tell her you have balloons, weed and alcohol, she will move in with you, as long as you pay for her TFL oyster card to her weekend cleaning job since she dropped out of education and only visits her Aunt. Her immediate family don't speak to her except her little sisters who she is planning to bring into the HoeIsLife gang.

Hannah doesn't have social aspirations, as long as she has her Music and someone to validate her with attention she is happy. She can be found snapping or instagramming captions "If you don't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" or the more obscure "f*ck fake friends" "Ghosting season".

Despite all the negativities, she is usually quite funny, not bad looking and takes care of herself. She displays better loyalty because she has learnt from bad friendships and always has a story to tell.

Loool this one is too funny and so common wallahi. I think i know atleast 10 of these lol

 

[FOBish]

it is so funny and accurate that it hurt my soul wallahi

 

[AussieHustler]

Loool this one is too funny and so common wallahi. I think i know atleast 10 of these lol

@Jaydaan

Illeen it’s true when they say, “Birds of the same feathers flock together.”

 

[Jaydaan]

@Jaydaan

Illeen it’s true when they say, “Birds of the same feathers flock together.”

You know that type is very common lolp

 

[AussieHustler]

You know that type is very common lolp

@Jaydaan

I don’t know them. I see Somalis only when I visit my folks in Melbourne and have no time for the maqaaxi male garoobs & the aunties who (24/7) gossip about Somali girls.

 

[Jaydaan]

@Jaydaan

I don’t know them. I see Somalis only when I visit my folks in Melbourne and have no time for the maqaaxi male garoobs & the aunties who (24/7) gossip about Somali girls.

We dont gossip about girls. I mean you dont ever see somalis. So how do you know what we do?

 

[AussieHustler]

We dont gossip about girls. I mean you dont ever see somalis. So how do you know what we do?

@Jaydaan

I used to stop by and say hello to some of them and all they discuss is about FKD, tribal shit talk or gossip about Somali girls/women. Do you see where the 68 comes from?

 

[Jaydaan]

@Jaydaan

I used to stop by and say hello to some of them and all they discuss is about FKD, tribal shit talk or gossip about Somali girls/women. Do you see where the 68 comes from?

Warya i dont gossip about girls. Cayda iga daa. Im a hard working tax paying law abiding puntlandian. And im well into my 70s with my iq so stop with the 68

 

[Dino]

I know one wallahi

She has a baby now and is continuing the hoe life with her governmental house when the baby is asleep

It enrages me that my tax money goes to feed her kind

 

[Muji]

It enrages me that my tax money goes to feed her kind

You are helping raise a child

Isn’t that dawah?

 

[Dino]

You are helping raise a child

Isn’t that dawah?

I would prefer if the state raises the child. Not her

Though the state might give the child to some galo family. So that sucks too. sigh...

 

[TheAnswer]

My students you are doing well. I like these profiles.

 

[Muji]

Saalax Zero Income



Salaax Zero Income is a well-known figure in and around the Somali diaspora household. He is called “zero income” because this individual is often involved in some tax evasion activity, although he makes enough income through uber, warehouse work, or some other minimum education activity to make ends-meet. Saalax Zero Income speaks broken English, bombastic Somali, and although a FOB with limited status this individual has a grandiose ego and a very fragile masculinity. His kryptonite is successful or independent Western Somali girl, who brings out his insecurities in full force. He often spends hours taping rants on Facebook Live, promoting misogyny, tribalism, or some conspiracy theory in order to boost his ego and deal with deep psychological insecurities. Saalax Zero Income contributes to wider communal dysfunction through his narrow-mindedness and propagation of outdated cultural norms (often very chauvinistic and sexist ones).

Couldn’t you have just tagged him @Inquisitive_

 

[Muji]

The Somali father Witnessed war crimes in Somalia and suffers from ptsd. When a door creeks in his house he yells his tribe name until his kids come in. He spends most of his time lounging outside coffee shops staring at the ankles of young girls. When he is not giving unsolicited advice to everyone he spends most of his time avoiding his wife and his kids. He is saving up to travel to Kenya to marry a young woman from his tribe behind his wife’s back. The Somali father has not seen the homework of his kids nor does he have any interest in their lives, unless he is collecting the dowry for one of his daughters

 

[Suldaan Mumiin]

I know this isn't dysfunctional that's what makes it dysfunctional.

Captain General Admiral Abdi Gafac

Captain General Admiral Abdi Gafac, used to be part of the Somali Army. He knows Russian, English and Italian but forgot Russian and Italian but struggles to speak English. Abdi Gafac genocided towns in Somaliland and ran away to America. He marries his 1st woman in 1995 and goes to another city in the states and marries his 2nd woman. Right now Abdi Gafac drives Uber since he was kicked out of Taxi company.

Abdi Gafac is 6ft 1 very dark skin and knows how to FKD. When he FKD's he mentions the people he killed when he went on a genocide in the small town. He values his prayers he makes tawbah and regrets the times of him killing those people. He prays 5 times a day, he prays Sunnah before and after every Salah. He has three sons the eldest is crackhead Abdi Basit, his third son is Hafid Maxamed and the youngest is cute, girl flirting and getting Suldaan.

 

[Muji]

We need this legendary thread pinned