Grand total of 2 somali guys you ran too? Ok im thinking where does she live where she just run into 2 somali guys in a period of time? My guess would be Alaska lol. Could you ever meet a somali person and leave behind the perception you have of somalis and just see that person as just another human beinh and just them on what they show you?
The Dysfunctional Somali Diaspora Household: A Analysis
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Grand total of 2 somali guys you ran too? Ok im thinking where does she live where she just run into 2 somali guys in a period of time? My guess would be Alaska lol. Could you ever meet a somali person and leave behind the perception you have of somalis and just see that person as just another human beinh and just them on what they show you?
@VixR , that type I don't know too well but here is one I wrote just now in your dedication, as you have been such a great fan
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid has problems. Misogynistic, angry, sexually repressed, underachieving, and thirsty—this type tends to repel most girls. A decent Somali girl would not be seen in the same room as Sexually Unhealthy Saciid, let alone the same bed. Instead of focusing on self-improvement to up his chances—he is in bad shape, poor, and off-track academically and career-wise— Sexually Unhealthy Saciid turns to immature anger. He is the one who comes up with silly little taunts such as “” and “Abdiexit.” All those hateful comments and threads you see targeting Decent Somali Women? That’s Sexually Unhealthy Saciid at work. When he’s not cyber-stalking women way above his league, Sexually Unhealthy Saciid is masterbating in his mom’s house or watching o at the public library as he doesn’t have WiFi. He’s failed for the second year in a row at his community college, and spends his nights smoking hookah with his small group of incel friends. Deep down Sexually Unhealthy Saciid knows there’s something wrong with him, but he lacks the critical introspection and resolve to fix it. So he blames women. In a few years, Sexually Unhealthy Saciid will be married off to a girl “back home.” It won’t be a fairytale wedding, but it will do. Sexually Unhealthy Saciid causes a lot of problems, but we should be glad he’s not yet resorted to shooting up public places. He contributes to Somali diaspora dysfunction through his misogyny and unhealthy sexual views. Ever thirsty and insecure, he is the first to -shame a girl or attack a Somali woman for marrying a man from a different-ethnicity.
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid often, but not always, overlaps with archetypes Salax Zero Income and FOB Wannabe Intellectual. *Like* if you are a woman who has encountered Sexually Unhealthy Saciid.
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid has problems. Misogynistic, angry, sexually repressed, underachieving, and thirsty—this type tends to repel most girls. A decent Somali girl would not be seen in the same room as Sexually Unhealthy Saciid, let alone the same bed. Instead of focusing on self-improvement to up his chances—he is in bad shape, poor, and off-track academically and career-wise— Sexually Unhealthy Saciid turns to immature anger. He is the one who comes up with silly little taunts such as “” and “Abdiexit.” All those hateful comments and threads you see targeting Decent Somali Women? That’s Sexually Unhealthy Saciid at work. When he’s not cyber-stalking women way above his league, Sexually Unhealthy Saciid is masterbating in his mom’s house or watching o at the public library as he doesn’t have WiFi. He’s failed for the second year in a row at his community college, and spends his nights smoking hookah with his small group of incel friends. Deep down Sexually Unhealthy Saciid knows there’s something wrong with him, but he lacks the critical introspection and resolve to fix it. So he blames women. In a few years, Sexually Unhealthy Saciid will be married off to a girl “back home.” It won’t be a fairytale wedding, but it will do. Sexually Unhealthy Saciid causes a lot of problems, but we should be glad he’s not yet resorted to shooting up public places. He contributes to Somali diaspora dysfunction through his misogyny and unhealthy sexual views. Ever thirsty and insecure, he is the first to -shame a girl or attack a Somali woman for marrying a man from a different-ethnicity.
Sexually Unhealthy Saciid often, but not always, overlaps with archetypes Salax Zero Income and FOB Wannabe Intellectual. *Like* if you are a woman who has encountered Sexually Unhealthy Saciid.
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He better not be a self hater and in interracial relationship lol
VixR
Veritas
@IslamIsTheAnswer Include how they persist even if you tell them no.VixR
AussiHustler is actually a good guy I think. We all have our own demons we fight and his used to be Islam, still is to some degree though he grew softer and more mature about he expresses his views. And considering how you closely align to his world view, I think you should both pursue a relationship as Somalis of similar approach to things.
The brother needs a Somali woman, instead of sharing life with one who disagrees with most of the time openly or secretly, it is better for him to strike out with one who is almost similar in outlook.
So, i propose you two become an Item.
I wish you successful adventure together markaa. Update me waryaada later.
A few “edo eye witness news” in your hands, you have the potential to spread it to two other continents.
I remember in grade school, a White boy was chasing me during recess, and the only other Somali kid’s mother at the school made quick work of spreading it around that she saw a bila adib so-and-so’s daughter cavorting with boys, like she found us making out or doing something obscene.
.
Abti, somehow you quoted me although your message is aimed at that kid.
Don't get too distracted, focus.
Abti, somehow you quoted me although your message is aimed at that kid.
Don't get too distracted, focus.
The Somali Sage
His love for Somalis and Somalia asks no question. He is driven by a strong personal value system. He is gentle, caring, and complex—the Somali sage is the rarest archetype in the community. Patient, devoted, and protective, he is good to his family and dedicated to Somali causes. Honest and good-natured, he has an aura that attracts everyone, and a sincerity that wins over even the most cynical hearts. The Somali Sage has an intuitive understanding of people and where they are coming from, and can understand and bridge different viewpoints. You will not find him wasting time in fadhi ku dirir or provoking traditionalists with iconoclasm—he feels called to a loftier vision in life and has the grit and organizational skill to bring it about. A few times in Somali history the Somali Sage has taken political office, and he has been known by names such as Abdirazak Haji Hussein. The high moral standards and work ethic he sets for himself he expects of everyone else, which has resulted in him being chased out from office as soon as he takes it in that morally bankrupt nation. Yet he does not give up on Somalis. Haters he greets with love, the ignorant and stupid he greets with patience, the cynical and critical he extends an olive-branch and words of inspiration. The dearest and best of Somalis, he often works unappreciated behind-the-scenes to improve his people, although his humility and lack of self-promotion often renders him invisible. The Somali Sage, he is rare, but he is needed, and may be the only type who can save this people from their self-wrought destruction.
List a few Somali Sages that you know.
Found the Wannabe Arab Abdirahman (Abdi)
Can you do one "gangister cabdi"? I really enjoyed reading these, keep making the Obedient Abdullahi mad lol.
Back Home Politician
Big belly, small mind, ill-fitting polyester suit, grandiose ego—these are the 4 building blocks of Back Home Politician. College degree? Good morals? Administrative and technocratic competence? Who needs any of that when qabyaalad and af misharnimo can get you to the big leagues in Somali politics—yet Somalis wonder why theirs is the worst country in the world. Back Home Politician hasn’t read a book in several decades (and probably can’t read), but he’s closely involved in creating Somalia’s new constitution. He is profoundly corrupt yet gives speeches against musuqmaasuq every week. He is officially against qabyaalad and 4.5, but yet he is an expert manipulator of qabil politics and knows how to work a crowd based on qabil chauvinism. If he’s from Puntland, his favorite word is “federaal.” If he’s from Mogadishu, “Benadir State” is always on the tip of his tongue. If he’s from Gedo, you’ll never see him there but he is a frequent guest at Nairobi's luxury hotels. Once, in a previous government, Back Home Politician was appointed minister; he was so corrupt he even stole the ministry’s vehicles on his way out of office. He may even have signed Somalia’s ocean territories—and billions in resources— away. Whoops. Whatever city he has a position in, Back Home Politician is involved in a land dispute with a poor family. Although dhaqan iyo din is one of his political rallying cries, Back Home Politician likes the ladies and has several young ones visit him in his hotel room or villas, although he is not married to any of them. Back Home Politician cares about poor people—or at least being pictured “helping” them. Always in campaign mode, he tours diaspora cities to speak to jaaliyada soomaaliyeed, although in reality everyone in the room is from his own juufo (closest kin group). The 2021 elections are around the corner, and Back Home Politician has his eyes set on Villa Somalia. In his mind, he is the only one capable of rescuing these people, the only one deserving of this high office. His clan thinks so too. There’s a very good chance he’ll become Somalia’s next federal president—or at least the UAE hopes so and is funding his campaign. If he becomes president, expect the familiar story of incompetence, corruption, tribalism, and lack-of-progress to go on in Somalia. But don’t expect Back Home Politician to accept any responsibility for the predicable failures on the radar for him. He will blame shiisheye, al-Shabaab, qabyaalad, the arms embargo, lack of ictiraf, Mogadishu—or just about anything except himself for all of his (many) shortcomings. When he leaves office, Back Home Politician will retire to the lavish villa he built for himself in Nairobi, Ankara or Dubai and will spend his days lazily lounging around and enjoying his loot (aka the stolen tax money of hardworking Somalis). In his down-time, when he’s not seeing a steady stream of supplicants and cronies plotting to return him to power, he will take to social media, sharing his vacuous and self-serving political opinions. His Facebook page has thousands of likes from clan sycophants, who will respond to his posts with comments like “sax mudane ilaahay ha ku xafido.” Back Home Politician will read these comments, smile, and realize these suckers are his for life.
Aside from being a big driver of dysfunction in Somalia, Back Home Politician keeps everyone in the diaspora and fans the flames of qabyaalad and political stagnation. He is one of the most vile, and tragically most reoccurring, archetypes.
@ragowaashax
Gangister Hanad
Gangister Hanad lives one day at a time. He is always looking for fun and pleasure, and always wants to “turn it up.” He struggles to find a steady job and is broke, but despite this he always says things like “I’m all about my money” while flashing hooyo’s ayuuto money on Snapchat. Yes, he’s in his 20s, and he’s still doing that. Gangister Hanad tends to be extraverted and sociable, but he can make professional people uncomfortable by saying things like “I’m a businessman too” before attempting to sell them drugs. Religious Somali Mom fears that her children will turn out like him; which is why she forbids them from playing outside. If he’s not selling drugs, Gangister Hanad is involved in the credit-card scam or stealing cars. If he’s really immature, it’s not beyond him to snatch purses or beat up drunk people for their wallets. Once Gangister Hanad’s mom sent him back home for dhaqan celis; he impregnated several girls out-of-wedlock and introduced gang signs and criminality to the local teens, causing him to be expelled back to his hooyo’s house. Sitting in his hooyo’s house, assuming he hasn’t been kicked out, Gangister Hanad will log onto Facebook and post things like, “f*ck all the haters who doubted me”—even though he’s done nothing to disprove those haters. Despite his troubles, Gangister Hanad has a strangely optimistic sense of the future and exudes this aura of confidence that attracts quite a few Xalimos—assuming he’s not a FOB wannabe gangster. His cell-phone is full of self-recorded rap songs, most of which are terrible but he does have one or two that aren't that bad. Gangister Hanad tends to be easy-going and non-judgemental and is not such a bad guy to chill with once in a while, but don’t let him date your sister. What will she do when he gets shot or stabbed—as happens to many Gangister Hanads. As for why this type is always involved in conflict, it has to do with his sensitivity toward real or perceived “disrespect.” When he starts approaching his 30s, Gangister Hanad may begin to feel bad about his lifestyle and start becoming more religious. In extreme cases, he may join terror groups. But commonly, he will get tired of religion and its rigid structure and authority —which is something he does not respond well to—and he will go back to living his pleasure-seeking life. If you haven’t disrespected him, or threatened his drug turf, Gangister Hanad is unlikely to bother you. But nonetheless, he is a driver of Somali diaspora dysfunction. By being a constant Somali name in the newspaper for all the wrong reasons, and for filling the jails with the unmistakable big forehead of the Somali, Gangister Hanad gives this community too many “Ls” for us to look the other way.
Gangister Hanad
Gangister Hanad lives one day at a time. He is always looking for fun and pleasure, and always wants to “turn it up.” He struggles to find a steady job and is broke, but despite this he always says things like “I’m all about my money” while flashing hooyo’s ayuuto money on Snapchat. Yes, he’s in his 20s, and he’s still doing that. Gangister Hanad tends to be extraverted and sociable, but he can make professional people uncomfortable by saying things like “I’m a businessman too” before attempting to sell them drugs. Religious Somali Mom fears that her children will turn out like him; which is why she forbids them from playing outside. If he’s not selling drugs, Gangister Hanad is involved in the credit-card scam or stealing cars. If he’s really immature, it’s not beyond him to snatch purses or beat up drunk people for their wallets. Once Gangister Hanad’s mom sent him back home for dhaqan celis; he impregnated several girls out-of-wedlock and introduced gang signs and criminality to the local teens, causing him to be expelled back to his hooyo’s house. Sitting in his hooyo’s house, assuming he hasn’t been kicked out, Gangister Hanad will log onto Facebook and post things like, “f*ck all the haters who doubted me”—even though he’s done nothing to disprove those haters. Despite his troubles, Gangister Hanad has a strangely optimistic sense of the future and exudes this aura of confidence that attracts quite a few Xalimos—assuming he’s not a FOB wannabe gangster. His cell-phone is full of self-recorded rap songs, most of which are terrible but he does have one or two that aren't that bad. Gangister Hanad tends to be easy-going and non-judgemental and is not such a bad guy to chill with once in a while, but don’t let him date your sister. What will she do when he gets shot or stabbed—as happens to many Gangister Hanads. As for why this type is always involved in conflict, it has to do with his sensitivity toward real or perceived “disrespect.” When he starts approaching his 30s, Gangister Hanad may begin to feel bad about his lifestyle and start becoming more religious. In extreme cases, he may join terror groups. But commonly, he will get tired of religion and its rigid structure and authority —which is something he does not respond well to—and he will go back to living his pleasure-seeking life. If you haven’t disrespected him, or threatened his drug turf, Gangister Hanad is unlikely to bother you. But nonetheless, he is a driver of Somali diaspora dysfunction. By being a constant Somali name in the newspaper for all the wrong reasons, and for filling the jails with the unmistakable big forehead of the Somali, Gangister Hanad gives this community too many “Ls” for us to look the other way.
Lol you're still going with these you should make one called shaqo la'an Sharif 
he spends most of his life writing long paragraphs on sspot and is always in meaningless arguments on there. I would've made one but I don't have time
he spends most of his life writing long paragraphs on sspot and is always in meaningless arguments on there. I would've made one but I don't have time
amboli
DIR POWER
These are spot on. Keep em coming mudane @IslamIsTheAnswer 
Sheikh Witch Doctor Daud
All the hooyos are desperate for his services. He is paid lavishly in duas and dollars, and goes by the title “Sheik.” Where modern medicine has failed, or hasn’t been tried, he’s a whiz kid: he is Witch Doctor Daud. Cancer? High-blood pressure? Psychological issues? A disobedient child who talks back to you? In all of these cases, Witch Doctor Daud will not shy away from offering his quran saar services as a guaranteed cure—as long as you fork over some cash. If you order his services, or someone orders them for you, Witch Doctor Daud will show up to your house with his crew—Sheikh Abu Omar, Religious Prodigy Child, and maybe Wannabe Arab Abdi—and they will spend many uncomfortable hours there reciting Qu’ran and spitting in a bowl full of water. Afterwards, you will be forced to gratefully gulp down this spit-filled water, and if you don’t recover from it, tough luck—there are no refunds. Although he is often called to resolve medical issues—despite having no medical training—Witch Doctor Daud’s bread and butter speciality is actually Jinn possession. “Possessed by jinn” is a catch-all term in the Somali community that can refer to many real or perceived issues, including: acute mental illness, delusion, teenage attention-seeking, stress, and independent ideation and behavior. In the eyes of Witch Doctor Daud, all of these issues can be cured by beating the “possessed” person, usually with tree-sticks or electrical cords taken from common household appliances. Allegedly this beating is hurting the “jinn” who has "taken control" of the person, not the actual human being who is being beaten. Witch Doctor Daud is very sure of his methods, and anyone who questions him he will automatically accuse of being a murtad who is against Islam. He has many supporters in the Somali community who will quickly echo these sentiments if you question his ways. In the West, laws against fake medical practice and assault force Witch Doctor Daud to keep a low profile, although he is connected to many masjids. But in Africa, Witch Doctor Daud is free to do whatever he likes. In Kenya, Witch Doctor Daud runs several thriving centers in Eastleigh, where hundreds of sick women and children “benefit” from his quran saar specials. When she is in Africa, Religious Somali Mom does not miss making a trip to one of these centers. Videos of these centers have circulated abroad. They are full of hysterical women yelling, screaming, and occasionally being beaten and hosed down with water as a loud-speaker blares with recorded Qu'ran recitations. In Somalia, the absence of law and widespread illiteracy and ignorance has allowed Witch Doctor Daud to flourish. He runs many centers in the country, and sometimes thousands of people will show up to seek his services when he visits a new town. He is so self-assured of his status in the community that he does whatever he likes, including kicking down the doors of strangers to accuse them of practicing black-magic. A deeply misguided and dangerous individual, Witch Doctor Daud contributes to Somali diaspora dysfunction by practicing fake medicine, spreading superstition, and cynically taking advantage of people’s faith to make money.
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Lol you're still going with these you should make one called shaqo la'an Sharif
Says the guy with eight thousand more posts than me, even though his account is 2 years younger than mine.
I wonder who the shaqo la'an Sharif in this situation really is
Lol I knew you were gonna say thatSays the guy with eight thousand more posts than me, even though his account is 2 years younger than mine.
I wonder who the shaqo la'an Sharif in this situation really is
I really set myself up for that one 
So you guys can’t argue with your parents or you’ll go to hell? Wtf? I was raised to question authority especially my parents, cuz they told us that if we think they’re wrong we should say so.. 
An Analysis of its constituent parts and how they contribute to dysfunction
There are two types of Somali mothers, the religious one and the non-religious one. Let us focus on the religious-one as she is typically the source of the greatest dysfunction. The religious Somali mother spends her time listening to muxaadaro, participating in Wahabi WhatsApp chat groups, acting sanctimonious, and hounding her children to practice Islam with ever greater rigid conformity and obedience. She hardly knows the contents of her children's grade report cards, and is quite suspicious of her children's' school teachers, assuming she has not put the kids in Islamic school, but religious Somali mom spares no expense on dugsi-quran, quran saar, and other religious expenses. Despite having lived in a Western country for many years, religious Somali mom is deeply suspicious of the West, rejects foundational liberal principles such as secularism, democracy, and equality under the law, and is an unrelenting antagonist to her children's peaceful assimilation into their adopted homelands. Religious Somali mom has fucked up many children's childhoods by doggedly opposing healthy teenage Western behavior, such as dating, listening to music, attending parties and other mixed-gender, mixed-group social events and is willing to throw the harmony of the entire household into complete upheaval to force her religious chauvinism onto her children. Because of her potent ability to create a toxic childhood, and to stunt her children's healthy upbringing and socialization, religious Somali mom is a key character in the dysfunctional Somali diaspora household.
(other parts coming)
Ironically, as a teacher the well behaved academically bright somali boys i teach have strict religious moms. One of my year 11 students an A star kid came to the graduation and i met his mom. Mashallah. The mom was religious down to a T.
Good parenting has nothing to do with religion. Good parenting is all about assuming your responsibilities as a parent
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