The Dysfunctional Somali Diaspora Household: A Analysis

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Reminds me of someone of Somali Twitter waaaay back. He said if he was to become the President of Somaliland :ftw9nwa: one day :ftw9nwa: he wouldn't let any Southerns in and import Palestinian and Syrians refugees so that they can mix with the locals :reallymaury:
Loool you know it
 
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Wannabe Arab Abdirahman (Abdi)


Wannabe Arab Abdi loves, just loves the Arab world. He can often be found wearing Arabian robes, especially the Saudi kind, even while doing mundane day-to-day activities. Sometimes he wears a khamis to his high school or community college, for what purpose nobody knows. Unsurprisingly, Wannabe Arab Abdi spends a lot of time listening to nasheeds, following Arab militia groups on twitter, and sometimes when he’s not feeling lazy he’ll take (and usually drop) a course in formal Arabic. If you want to trigger Wannabe Arab Abdi, tell him Somalis are black and not Arab—he’ll blow a fuse. If you want to know who’s responsible for the almost daily Arab-related threads on SSpot, it’s Wannabe Arab Abdi. The thing that hurts him the most is the rejection and racism he feels from Arabs—something which he’s lucidly aware of, but sometimes in denial over. Wannabe Arab Abdi may have been visited a few times by the Alphabet Boys over his tendency to visit extremist websites and romanticize Arab rebel groups like Hezbollah and ISIS, but this individual is not always so religious. He can just be as readily found in hookah lounges. If the protest involves Palestine, Syria, or some lighter-complexion Muslim group, Wannabe Arab Abdi will drop everything to attend, but if it involves Somalia or Somalis—don’t expect to catch him there. He’s generally embarrassed and disinterested in Somalia, although if the discussion involves Somalia’s interaction with Islam or Arabs, he’ll usually jump in aggressively to defend Arab interests and viewpoints. Because of his love for Arabs and Arab-things, he can be mistaken for a deeply religious individual and may therefore make a more preferable child for Religious Somali Mom over personalities like Socially Woke Safia. Wannabe Arab Abdirahman share a lot of similarities with Servile Sahra and Obedient Abdullahi, but he’s generally less attached to tradition and more self-centered. Wannabe Arab Abdirahman contributes to Somali diaspora dysfunction primarily by embarrassing the rest of us. He is currently employed part-time at a warehouse (or as a security guard) and lives with his mother. Despite this, he thinks he's too good to marry a Somali girl and is looking for an "ukhti." It's not beyond him to fantasize about marrying Syrian refugee girls—he's generally misogynistic and will say things like, "their meher is really cheap right now." Wannabe Arab Arab's lifelong dream is to visit and live in the Middle East. He will give his children Arab names and continue the trend of erasing Somali culture in favor of Arab culture.


You can not measure up to this kid even though both of you were born in the same city and to Somali parents.

This kid and his friends have traveled the globe winning money and representing both USA and Somalis in Minnesota. This kid goes to college and is bound to become an Engineer while you struggle staying sober.

His friend went to Moscow recently to attend competition there and is only 17 years Old. By being respectful to their parents and excel in schools, these kids are becoming the pillars of their communities and tomorrow's Imams who will oversee the weddings of their communities, the community gatherings and even the burial of their dead kinsmen to send them off in honor to the next world. We are all counting on them.

Those who are laughing at your ignorance and insult to this honorable kid should know better and do their homework.

I attended one of this kid's graduation ceremonies and I can say the Somali community is proud of them. For every loser that breaks the hearts of their parents, these kids and similar successful blessed ones make up for the loss. Most of these kids have scholarships that pay the full tuition of the University.

Make others laugh at the expense of honorable Somalis both young and old who are busy building their communities in America.

This kid and others in his circle live the good life by adhering to their culture and making money still underage. Adigana you suck at every turn and live in bitterness.
 
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Thank you butthurt FOBs for giving me an idea for another persona to profile...The Religious Prodigy Child.

This personality has some superficial similarities with Wannabe Arab Abdi, but is actually quite different and represents a more subtle but quite insidious dsyfunction.

coming soon...
 
Thank you butthurt FOBs for giving me an idea for another persona to profile...The Religious Prodigy Child.

This personality has some superficial similarities with Wannabe Arab Abdi, but is actually quite different and represents a more subtle but quite insidious dsyfunction.

coming soon...


You lack authenticity in your critical pieces and the reason is your expressed anti Islamic views. So anything you write will be viewed mostly by us average somalis as bitterness against the religion. I don't think if Somalis were not Muslims, some of you here avowed critics of somalis would be as critical and negative about them. It is the irony of a nonreligious person or an atheist obsessed with other people's religion. God is never far away from your psyche and the people who worship him.

The world communities are plagued by social issues and problems that need solving. Somalis are not exceptional. No rational and caring person denies problems do exist. What is not normal is your likes among them who are the least dignified but the loudest critics of their own people. I can accept people with high standards criticizing somalis in satire or through critical opinion columns. But not anything from you.

Satire or not, all you write exposes your pernicious self loathing. You have a disgusting record of undermining your own on this website and your username speaks how diabolical you are as a person.
 
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Religious Prodigy Boy

He is Religious Somali Mom’s dream child, Sheikh Abu Omar’s pet at dugsi, and a mini-celebrity in the Somali community. In fact, Religious Prodigy Boy has heard manshallah so many times it might as well be his name. Religious Prodigy Boy has won numerous Qu’ran competitions, has been to ummrah more times than @Schematics has touched a girl, and is regularly invited to meet notable Somalis such as President Farmaajo. But while his fans are legion, there are a small but influential group of Somalis who see right-through Religious Prodigy Boy and consider him for what he is: a one-trick pony. You see, despite all the accolades showered upon him and the adulation he receives in the Somali community, Religious Prodigy Boy has no talent except for reciting the Qu’ran….which is not that impressive of a talent, as it requires little intellectual ability besides parroting and route memorization. Religious Prodigy Boy is typically of only average intelligence, unimpressive in his academic work, generally ignorant of Islamic history (the academic kind—not uncritical hadith recitation), and shallow in his understanding of world political and social affairs. But he can drop a mean alif lam mim during salah—even though most people don’t want to stand through that—and for that he’s widely admired. In his day-to-day activities, Religious Prodigy Boy lounges around the masjid, secretly watches o on his cell-phone in the bathroom, and wows admirers through on-the-spot recitations of Qu’ran. His impressive oratory and grasp of Arabic language was honed through years of diligent study, usually in a dire third world country with strict teachers. Despite the hardship of studying abroad, he is grateful for that “experience” now— or at least that’s what he tells all his traditionalist fans. Similar to Wannabe Arab Abdi, Religious Prodigy Boy can often be found wearing thobes and interspersing his speech with Arabic terms like “akhi,” but unlike Wannabe Arab Abdi he typically does not distance himself from Somalis, and is generally a decent person. He does not speak Arabic or have any understanding of the words he recites. Religious Somali Mom wants all of her kids to be like Religious Prodigy Boy—even if they are much more conventionally successful than he is. Futile attempts to turn otherwise Americanized kids into Religious Prodigy Boy have destroyed many Somali households—and continue to do so. Ironically, in his late teen into his early 20s, Religious Prodigy Boy often sheds the religious persona and pursues women, alcohol, and worldly thrills with great fervor. Why? we can only guess, but this phenomenon has been widely observed. Although not the worst of our worries, Religious Prodigy Boy contributes to Somali dysfunction by symbolizing misplaced priorities—why can’t Somalis create winners of math or science or debate competitions?— and the over exaggeration of superficial religious practice instead of intellectual understanding of faith and spirituality among Somalis.

Watch out, he’s coming to a masjid near you.
 
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Religious Prodigy Boy

He is Religious Somali Mom’s dream child, Sheikh Abu Omar’s pet at dugsi, and a mini-celebrity in the Somali community. In fact, Religious Prodigy Boy has heard manshallah so many times it might as well be his name. Religious Prodigy Boy has won numerous Qu’ran competitions, has been to ummrah more times than @Schematics has touched a girl, and is regularly invited to meet notable Somalis such as President Farmaajo. But while his fans are legion, there are a small but influential group of Somalis who see right-through Religious Prodigy Boy and consider him for what he is: a one-trick pony. You see, despite all the accolades showered upon him and the adulation he receives in the Somali community, Religious Prodigy Boy has no talent except for reciting the Qu’ran….which is not that impressive of a talent, as it requires little intellectual ability besides parroting and route memorization. Religious Prodigy Boy is typically of only average intelligence, unimpressive in his academic work, generally ignorant of Islamic history (the academic kind—not uncritical hadith recitation), and shallow in his understanding of world political and social affairs. But he can drop a mean alif lam mim during salah—even though most people don’t want to stand through that—and for that he’s widely admired. In his day-to-day activities, Religious Prodigy Boy lounges around the masjid, secretly watches o on his cell-phone in the bathroom, and wows admirers through on-the-spot recitations of Qu’ran. His impressive oratory and grasp of Arabic language was honed through years of diligent study, usually in a dire third world country with strict teachers. Despite the hardship of studying abroad, he is grateful for that “experience” now— or at least that’s what he tells all his traditionalist fans. Similar to Wannabe Arab Abdi, Religious Prodigy Boy can often be found wearing thobes and interspersing his speech with Arabic terms like “akhi,” but unlike Wannabe Arab Abdi he typically does not distance himself from Somalis, and is generally a decent person. He does not speak Arabic or have any understanding of the words he recites. Religious Somali Mom wants all of her kids to be like Religious Prodigy Boy—even if they are much more conventionally successful than he is. Futile attempts to turn otherwise Americanized kids into Religious Prodigy Boy have destroyed many Somali households—and continue to do so. Ironically, in his late teen into his early 20s, Religious Prodigy Boy often sheds the religious persona and purses women, alcohol, and worldly thrills with great fervor. Why? we can only guess, but this phenomenon has been widely observed. Although not the worst of our worries, Religious Prodigy Boy contributes to Somali dysfunction by symbolizing misplaced priorities—why can’t Somalis create winners of math or science or debate competitions?— and the over exaggeration of superficial religious practice instead of intellectual understanding of faith and spirituality among Somalis.

Watch out, he’s coming to a masjid near you.

:russ::russ:@kids hitting Umrah more times than Schematics touched a female.


Good kids indeed. They have been to Umrah whilst I never went for one. Lucky rascals.
 
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