Why dont Somali men spend more time with their kids?

[Desert Flower]

This calcaal has gone on far too long, you're telling me you're going to take the words of trolls on this site as an accurent portrayal of faraxs not paying meher


Such a bold claim would need empirical evidence

So are the majority of sspot males trolls then? I doubt it. In fact, I’d argue that since this is an anonymous forum, you guys are more than comfortable spewing this misogynistic crap, and would never dare utter these things irl.

The “trolling” excuse is overplayed and quite frankly, unoriginal.

 

[Revolutionary]

So are the majority of sspot males trolls then? I doubt it. In fact, I’d argue that since this is an anonymous forum, you guys are more than comfortable spewing this misogynistic crap, and would never dare utter these things irl.

The “trolling” excuse is overplayed and quite frankly, unoriginal.

A lot of users here are troll yes, and plenty of them happen to be male, just like there are a bunch of female trolls here as well, Are the majority of sspot male users are? No.

The majority of users here dont even engage in these sorts of topics, it's practically the same 8-10 users each time, I'd bet that if you were to ask each and every male user these questions, your opinions would shatter. The forum has 5,000 members or so, name just a few dozen users who've said some of the "misogynistic crap" you've described, even the term itself would be subjective based of who it is asking, could you expand on it?

There are no exuses

 

[Xaruun]

Not condoning the zina nor saying the resulting child is legitimate that was NOT my point. I’m just telling you that the guys are doing this deliberately with an end goal. The girls have no idea... they fall for these guys and become intimate in good faith(regardless of how haram it is)not knowing there is an ulterior motive at play. How do I know this? Because 3 separated guys I know all told me this when the topic came up and even used some of their friends(and ppl I know) as an example.

They’re still dumb for giving into their desires and doing it with some stranger.

Of course it isn’t EVERY man (rolls eyes), but out of 100, I’d say 80, so a large majority.

That’s just reer Henny. Like 95% of Somali women in Canada are trash too.

 

[Desert Flower]

A lot of users here are troll yes, and plenty of them happen to be male, just like there are a bunch of female trolls here as well, Are the majority of sspot male users are? No.

The majority of users here dont even engage in these sorts of topics, it's practically the same 8-10 users each time, I'd bet that if you were to ask each and every male user these questions, your opinions would shatter. The forum has 5,000 members or so, name just a few dozen users who've said some of the "misogynistic crap" you've described, even the term itself would be subjective based of who it is asking, could you expand on it?

There are no exuses

You say nothing for someone who likes to talk a lot.

 

[Revolutionary]

They’re still dumb for giving into their desires and doing it with a stranger.

Just like what they like to say, it takes two to tangle

That’s just reer Henny. Like 95% of Somali women in Canada are trash too.

Imagine the outcry if a farax were to use these generalizations on xalimos

 

[Desert Flower]

They’re still dumb for giving into their desires and doing it with some stranger.

That’s just reer Henny. Like 95% of Somali women in Canada are trash too.

You’re too young to have this much hatred for women. May Allah heal you, because you certainly need it.

 

[Xaruun]

You’re too young to have this much hatred for women. May Allah heal you, because you certainly need it.

So it’s ok for you to say 80% of men are trash but If I say the same, I suddenly hate women now?

 

[Angelina]

This calcaal has gone on far too long, you're telling me you're going to take the words of trolls on this site as an accurent portrayal of faraxs not paying meher


Such a bold claim would need empirical evidence

You know nothing of Somali dhaqan. Not paying mehr until maybe when a divorce occurs is the norm, especially the older generation. You can ask your hooyo.

 

[Mercury]

You don’t have to follow your kids around everywhere they go 24/7 you know. It’s better for the kids to get some breathing space.

i didn't say you need to be watching on them all the time its just weird to send them to the in laws so you can rest for 2 days

 

[Xaruun]

i didn't say you need to be watching on them all the time its just weird to send them to the in laws so you can rest for 2 days

who cares tbh

 

[Mercury]

You know nothing of Somali dhaqan. Not paying mehr until maybe when a divorce occurs is the norm, especially the older generation. You can ask your hooyo.

there's many who even after the divorce refuse to give her the meher out of spite

 

[Revolutionary]

You know nothing of Somali dhaqan. Not paying mehr until maybe when a divorce occurs is the norm, especially the older generation. You can ask your hooyo.

The comment I've quoted specifically said faaraxs barely pay the meher, not that they pay right before the divorce, even if that is what she meant (which i doubt it is and suspect you're just trying to safeguard by any means necessary) If that is a phenomenon happening then the wife should be requesting that it be paid more, depending on how long the marriage is, it would seem that it wasnt something major for her, if they'd even ask at all

 

[Mercury]

The marriage isn’t valid then lol loads of people here are bastards

meher can be delayed if they agreed to it

 

[Xaruun]

meher can be delayed if they agreed to it

ok

 

[Angelina]

The comment I've quoted specifically said faaraxs barely pay the meher, not that they pay right before the divorce, even if that is what she meant (which i doubt it is and suspect you're just trying to safeguard by any means necessary) If that is a phenomenon happening then the wife should be requesting that it be paid more, depending on how long the marriage is, it would seem that it wasnt something major for her, if they'd even ask at all

No, that is because Somalis have made such a behavior culturally acceptable when it is haram. The mehr has nothing to do with divorce. You have to pay it even if you've been married 20 years+.

This isn't a specific issue. Its just something that has been normalised btw.

 

[Revolutionary]

No, that is because Somalis have made such a behavior culturally acceptable when it is haram. The mehr has nothing to do with divorce. You have to pay it even if you've been married 20 years+.

This isn't a specific issue. Its just something that has been normalised btw.

Plenty of the cases very well could be both parties agreeing for it to be delayed, none of this is unique to Somalis

We need to stop assuming the worst in these situations

 

[Amirah]

You’re too young to have this much hatred for women. May Allah heal you, because you certainly need it.

Lol, So much for “I’m 15 yr old teen boy” born and raised in diaspora! They’re bitter contempt for women rivals that of 60 yr old reer miye oday that’s been divorced 7x already.

 

[Boogie]

These arguments are pointless neither side will listen at the end we both think the other side is annoying you guys are only addressing problems and projecting your experiences and issues on others, not finding a way to properly discuss

 

[Angelina]

Plenty of the cases very well could be both parties agreeing for it to be delayed, none of this is unique to Somalis

We need to stop assuming the worst in these situations

Why do you argue with people over things you have no clue about? Its actually very common in our culture. Instead of arguing with me, ask your hooyo.

You're not understanding. It isn't being delayed. It just isn't ever paid.

 

[Revolutionary]

Why do you argue with people over things you have no clue about? Its actually very common in our culture. Instead of arguing with me, ask your hooyo.

You're not understanding. It isn't being delayed. It just isn't ever paid.

Im getting the feeling that you're quoting the wrong person, because what I've just said had nothing to do with it being something common or not, I feel as though you make up things a person say, strawmans wont work. Just like you assume its being delayed I've assumed that both parties have agreed it to doing so

I'll repeat again we need to stop assuming the worst in these situations