Xaruun
VIP
You don’t have to follow your kids around everywhere they go 24/7 you know. It’s better for the kids to get some breathing space.
Why dont Somali men spend more time with their kids?
- Thread starter Distant1
- Start date
The cadaan are @gods gift to mankind” soo ma’aha
I have nothing to learn from them on parental bonding since I have a deeply involved father even until now but when it comes to everything else, I copy them.
Boogie
Islam wins doesnt take Ls Long Live Somalia 🇸🇴
I bet this thread brought back bad memories. A lot of these guys want to appear macho by saying their father was working, was he working weekends too?
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Lets not beat around the bush. Its the Xaram benefit money. In the UK, you scam the Universal Credit System, in US, you lie to get Section 8 housing, in Italy and the rest of the EU, you lie and make up some BS to get SSN and milk the system. Sometimes, you scam 2 nations, for example you claim SSN in Italy and gain Universal Credit in the UK whilst being a full time worker, a bus driver or a Taxi driver. Another scam is bringing in family member via a lie. Brothers and Sisters claiming they are married, a uncle and aunty claiming spouse to enter the nation via a Visa System. And you wonder why there are many dysfunctional families, no male figure, not a good reputation.
Why spend time with kids who was raised by xaram money and being taught the opposite of that. The kids turn up Xaram, the Parents split up, and all of these nonsense occurs. If the White man doesn't see through your fraud, Allah does, and clearly this is the punishment. Absent Fathers are a produce of Xaram Money, toxic households too. Cursed from the day you lied to the government and said "I am a single mother" or something along those lines. Allah made that happen.
I am not discrediting the genuine ones, but you reap what you sow. The father could simply leave, as legally, there was no father to begin with.
Why spend time with kids who was raised by xaram money and being taught the opposite of that. The kids turn up Xaram, the Parents split up, and all of these nonsense occurs. If the White man doesn't see through your fraud, Allah does, and clearly this is the punishment. Absent Fathers are a produce of Xaram Money, toxic households too. Cursed from the day you lied to the government and said "I am a single mother" or something along those lines. Allah made that happen.
I am not discrediting the genuine ones, but you reap what you sow. The father could simply leave, as legally, there was no father to begin with.
They're abandoning their kids in Kenya as well. No government intervention, no benefits, nothing.
Not much is going to change as these young guys want to walk in their fathers footsteps and not register the marriage.
Isnt that what women like myself, Desert, Angelina among others try to bring up here to alert, discuss and hopefully make a change before we get bombarded with attacks left and right from the 10yr old faraaxs to the Middle Ages ones hiding here all the same?!? Isn’t that why we get hated so much here for stating the obvious large and chronic issue of physically/emotionally absent fathers in the community?!? I mean I’ve been called every word you can think of trying to discuss this. But it’s interesting to note that as guy your thread generated less animosity and diverse
when ours(mine to be specific)automatically turns into filthy, misogynist hateful rants against women.
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Funny how they’re all blaming the social service systems rather than taking responsibility. These men who are “working 80 hours” while allowing their wives to scam the system, where were they when the women were applying for benefits? Did she hold a gun to his head to go long with her scam? And even after a divorce, did she again hold a gun to his head not to come near his kids and co-parent? The amount of psychological maneuvering these guys engage in just to point the finger at anyone but themselves is astonishing!
Also crazy yet, this absent father pandemic happens places like Kenya and even in Somalia even more so than here! So now what! Who are they gonna blame next? I mean this is the same guys here who were justifying the murder of a xooyo that requested child support. They’re the same ones who idealize the footsteps their father took when he abandon him and his 10 siblings and mother in diaspora and went back to Somalia to marry 2 others he’s gonna abandon tomorrow too.
Well no, the younger, our generation are more aware and legal bound. And no recourse to public funds due to working and also more tighter governments, so this stuff will die out in the next 10 to 20 years.
trueIsnt that what women like myself, Desert, Angelina among others try to bring up here to alert, discuss and hopefully make a change before we get bombarded with attacks left and right from the 10yr old faraaxs to the Middle Ages ones hiding here all the same?!? Isn’t that why we get hated so much here for stating the obvious large and chronic issue of physically/emotionally absent fathers in the community?!? I mean I’ve been called every word you can think of trying to discuss this. But it’s interesting to note that as guy your thread generated less animosity and diverse
but I actually have a problem with the older generation who have this dysfunctional parenting style
Ha! Not true! I personally know or heard of at least dozen or so cases where a girl had to back outta of the wedding because the guy refused to go the court to register and some were the girls reluctantly went through with it because of family pressure. So yeah these guys know and do plan ahead for their future shenanigans. This along with getting girls pregnant secretly before the marriage(so she has no choice but to rush to cover it up) is now the new trend(tricks used by faraax)in the US.
Xaruun
VIP
That’s just stupidity on the girls’ part.
Obviously they won’t want to get divorce raped. The western alimony system is extortionate and xaram. You’re only meant to pay child support and support the ex-wife during ‘iddah/pregnancy in Islam.
Alimony is different in the UK. There are ways to avoid it such as a term called clean break. Also, in my years of being in the UK, i've never heard of a guy paying alimony. Some Somali men are complaining about the basics, such as child support.
However, i've heard of men not pay a penny. Its normalised. I've heard about couples acting like single unmarried (authobillah) parents in order to scam the system and then they wonder why their kids are messed up, and then ultimately their relationship suffers as well.
I would've payed for being fatherless tbh
you never know what's in the gift
you never know what's in the gift
There are odd cases. But it is EVERY men? Also, Whoh now, who fault it is that a female and a male decided to commit the act of Zina? It isn't a single persons fault. One gave, another received. A Consensual sexual relationship required two sides, a male and a female A pregnancy doesn't occur for no reason and it doesn't come out of thin air. Again, this returns to my main point, anything done Xaram doesn't have a blessing. Once again, lets not beat around the bush, that child is a bastard, she knows it and he knows it, that marriage is forced. So no, it isn't only the Faraax fault but both sides.
Not condoning the zina nor saying the resulting child is legitimate that was NOT my point. I’m just telling you that the guys are doing this deliberately with an end goal. The girls have no idea... they fall for these guys and become intimate in good faith(regardless of how haram it is)not knowing there is an ulterior motive at play. How do I know this? Because 3 separated guys I know all told me this when the topic came up and even used some of their friends(and ppl I know) as an example.
Desert Flower
VIP
Alimony kulaha. Farahs barely pay the meher. The fact that most sspot males calacaal and resort to attacks when we tell them the truth leads me to believe that a) they know we are telling the truth and b) they know they’re in the wrong. If what we, Angelina and Amirah say doesn’t apply to you, hush and keep it moving.
Desert Flower
VIP
Of course it isn’t EVERY man (rolls eyes), but out of 100, I’d say 80, so a large majority.
This calcaal has gone on far too long, you're telling me you're going to take the words of trolls on this site as an accurent portrayal of faraxs not paying meher
Such a bold claim would need empirical evidence
