An Open Letter To My Somali Diaspora Sister

[B-is-the-code]

@Kanini I made it out of concern for somali girls suffering in the hands of men. Marriage or not. I don't understand why faraxs are triggered, if anything I am telling my sisters to have standards in who they choose to marry and put the wellbeing of their children first.
I even formatted my lil essay in a way that it ends with an empowerment point.

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[Hodan from HR]

I can see you meant well by it but it could be seen as taking the piss lol.



Also, one word of advice, one person's preference doesn't mean it isn't in the interest of a whole ethnic group's females. As long as a man finds a woman who meets his preference and vice versa, there shouldn't be a problem. No need to police what other people like

If you are good with polygamy, as you said my apologies fam.

Majority of women are not okay with polygamy and it is not favourable to the children involved. Secondly, I said that in the heat of the moment.

 

[Factz]

Now you guys are just twisting my words.

@Factz lets be honest here. If I went to school for 2/3 of my life and I love the job I am doing, is it too much to ask for a man who is okay with me working?

Did you know housewives make the most depressed population?
I don't know of any sane woman who does not want to stay home and raise her kids when the time comes.

I am just baffled some men here are strongly against their women working even if its part-time and it does not get in the way of her family. I don't care for money. We will have a joint account where everything goes to.

Actually studies have shown women that work are more depressed than housewives so I disagree with that. You're the one attacking housewives but you don't speak for all Somali women. I know many that prefer that instead of working.

No, it seems you're the one twisting my words. If women want to work then it's not my business. I don't care what people do with their lives, wallahi. All I'm saying is we have preferences and it's our right to find women that are compatible with what we like. It is not your concern.

My cousin actually preferred his wife to have a part-time job until she has kids then she can become a full-time housewife. Many men have different preferences. Just find the right guy walaal but don't bash us because we have a preference.

 

[Tukraq]

View attachment 88345 @Tameable Qumayo @beenleey @VixR
Your eedo is looking good

dawg im not seeing the "good"

 

[Factz]

@Factz I don’t know if there is a woman here who is arguing men should pay the bills and then come home to do the housework. I think from what I’ve seen, most of the girls on this forum are educated and are pursuing a career path. I hope they would be insistent on chipping in with their own money to ensure their children get the best life course.

However, I must warn you, what you are describing sounds like the honeymoon period, I fear soon she will see her friends graduating, getting big jobs and she will begin to resent you for her mundane lifestyle of doing the dishes and cleaning all day, especially if she has a degree. With that being said, I truly hope this arrangement works out for you and you show empathy if she ever wants something different.

I understand and I respect that. If they wish to work, power to them but they're criticizing traditional relationships and don't understand that men have their own preferences too so they should be able to respect that. That's all I'm saying.

Oh, don't worry about my girl. Her friends were constantly showing her snap of them living in amazing homes and were enjoying being housewives and my girl was a teacher. She was fed up getting up early in the morning, doing lesson plannings and teachings brats. She wanted to be a housewife and it was actually her dream. I make a decent amount of money so she is not worried about money and knows she doesn't need to work which gives her relief.

 

[B-is-the-code]

dawg im not seeing the "good"

Hahaha i was showing them that in the west they have another alternative aka stop the buuq and become lesbians

 

[Kanini]

If you are good with polygamy, as you said my apologies fam.

Majority of women are not okay with polygamy and it is not favourable to the children involved. Secondly, I said that in the heat of the moment.

I'm the last person to enter a polygamous relationship lol, but I dont mind others who do. Inshallah you'll be able to find someone who ticks all of your boxes.

 

[B-is-the-code]

I understand and I respect that. If they wish to work, power to them but they're criticizing traditional relationships and don't understand that men have their own preferences too so they should be able to respect that. That's all I'm saying.

Oh, don't worry about my girl. Her friends were constantly showing her snap of them living in amazing homes and were enjoying being housewives and my girl was a teacher. She was fed up getting up early in the morning, doing lesson plannings and teachings brats. She wanted to be a housewife and it was actually her dream. I make a decent amount of money so she is not worried about money and knows she doesn't need to work which gives her relief.

Your girl? shes not wifey yet miyaa kkkkk

 

[Yahya]

I swear it's always thread like these that outshine intellectual threads. It makes me sad that every single time i come on here it's almost gender bashing or some other non sense that doesn't help the somali community.

 

[Muji]

I understand and I respect that. If they wish to work, power to them but they're criticizing traditional relationships and don't understand that men have their own preferences too so they should be able to respect that. That's all I'm saying.

Oh, don't worry about my girl. Her friends were constantly showing her snap of them living in amazing homes and were enjoying being housewives and my girl was a teacher. She was fed up getting up early in the morning, doing lesson plannings and teachings brats. She wanted to be a housewife and it was actually her dream. I make a decent amount of money so she is not worried about money and knows she doesn't need to work which gives her relief.

so are you married now? Congrats btw.

 

[Luciddreamer]

Whatever, if you’re happy with where you are, that’s your prerogative, but it just tells me you either leapt into it lightly, which betrays that you’re not contemplative, or that you’re easily swayed from having an unpopular opinion. That is the problem. If you’re too changeable, you’re never stable. The biggest problem Somalis have is that the people who’re actually doing things right aren’t the popular ones. The ones that have diig are the rowdy losers.

The only thing i leap into lightly is the progressive bs you still believe in.
Ive always been way to traditional to believe in some of that nonsense.

And the only thing that influences my opinion is the truth and not the crowd.

And the reason you think the ones with diig are losers is because youre a
brainwashed gaal who cant accept the worst parts of our people and culture.

There, i corrected it for you

 

[Factz]

Your girl? shes not wifey yet miyaa kkkkk

so are you married now? Congrats btw.

We did our nikah and we're currently engaged. Wedding is this year, inshallah.

 

[Tukraq]

The only thing i leap into lightly is the progressive bs you still believe in.
Ive always been way to traditional to believe in some of that nonsense.

And the only thing that influences my opinion is the truth and not the crowd.

And the reason you think the ones with diig are losers is because youre a
brainwashed gaal who cant accept the worst parts of our people and culture.

There, i corrected it for you

wait is she saying spineless people are better than those with diig she has a weird frame work of the world

 

[Veteran]

wait is she saying spineless people are better than those with diig she has a weird frame work of the world

She can't even speak or write somali as well, wallahi wa naag doqon ah.

 

[B-is-the-code]

I swear it's always thread like these that outshine intellectual threads. It makes me sad that every single time i come on here it's almost gender bashing or some other non sense that doesn't help the somali community.

We have been fighting this fight since forever.
At the end of the day we love each other, thats why we are here in a somali forum

Now lets enjoy this cat fight (1980)

 

[Luciddreamer]

You literal MO is going around calling other men simps (mostly 15 yo boys). At least you were decent when you were new.

The only man i called a simp was 25 years of age, stop lying.

And we already know why youre against my standing against these simps :

I need the ground I walk on to be worshipped

And the guy i was when i first joined here isnt somebody im proud of
so no lost love there

 

[B-is-the-code]

We did our nikah and we're currently engaged. Wedding is this year, inshallah.

I was joking with you my brotha...if you did the nikah/meher then she is your halaal wife. Wedding is not important

 

[IftiinOfLife]

OP

I'm not sure, I think in 2020,most Somali women have a good idea of their goals and how to succeed in life.

But Somali guys clearly don't lol.

Let's just focus on ourselves and let the guys fix each other. Let's only fix their problems on the promise of more female political power in our communities.

 

[VixR]

wait is she saying spineless people are better than those with diig she has a weird frame work of the world

The negative elements of Somalis overpower the positive, many are too spineless to be contrary to the status quo, so they become overrun bc of their weakness.

The idiots are the loudest of the bunch. It isn’t uncommon for men particularly to attempt to derail their other male counterparts that are doing well over a cliff, whether that be in relation in their marital lives or their professional lives. That’s why a successful Somali has to find a niche. Somalis have no problem harboring rapists and criminals, but they ridicule the stable folks among them (probably bc they come from dysfunctional backgrounds).

 

[IftiinOfLife]

The negative elements of Somalis overpower the positive, many are too spineless to be contrary to the status quo, so they become overrun bc of their weakness.

The idiots are the loudest of the bunch. It isn’t uncommon for men particularly to attempt to derail their other male counterparts that are doing well over a cliff, whether that be in relation in their marital lives or their professional lives. That’s why a successful Somali has to find a niche. Somalis have no problem harboring rapists and criminals, but they ridicule the stable folks among them (probably bc they themselves come from dysfunctional backgrounds).

Main reason I limit my time with the Diaspora lol, absolutely fucking disgusting.

 

[Helios]

@VixR you might be trying to voice your opinions and what you think is wrong with Somali men but you come across incredibly bitter and from what I've seen, it's like you would rather not be Somali. Even with @beenleey and @Muji who in my opinion come across as doctors trying to prescribe a solution. You seem to be more of a judge.