Father of 16 children and husband of three wives. Quran teacher at day and taxi driver by night. Baidoa SWS.

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Bisiinka the level of aflagaado & venom people have for the guy waa cajiib!!!

It even went beyond that, now dalkeena is poor & backward because a very tiny percentage of men decided to marry more than one woman . So qabylaad, corruption lack of adherence to diinta etc. all of these have nothing to do with why dalkeena is as it is maanta ???



In that study, the overall difference between monogamous & polygamous women when it relates to “sexual dysfunction” was just 13.9%. “SD” was prevalent in both groups: 55.9% for monogamous vs 69.8% for polygamous women

.


Now what’s even interesting is when you take a look at the actual breakdown of the scores. The differences are very negligible

View attachment 319116

Another point of note from purely a statistical analysis is that there’s more women suffering from “SD” in monogamous marriages as opposed to polygamous ones. So if we extrapolate this to somalia as a whole, then things get worse simply because monogamous women with “SD” will far surpass those of polygamous women by a large margin.

Given the above what rationale is there to focus on polygamous women when the difference in “SD” is just a mere 13.9% and also the fact that Polygamous women constitute a minority of women who are diagnosed with the “SD” ?

My final point is related to the index scores used to determine sexual function. I’m very sceptical of a self report index that purports to objectively measure an individual’s sexual function especially one rooted in a foreign cultural background & tradition. In fact the FSFI score was introduced to determine arousal disorders & not other factors of a person’s sexual function.

Like anything related to human beings nothing is static, similarly so is a person’s sexual function. Just because a person has issues today doesn’t entail that they’ll have it tomorrow or that it’s deterministic. Imagine telling a woman she’s suffering from SD based on a survey that she filled whilst she had issues that no longer are a factor in her current life.

Take for instance the study, it was conducted on women who came to the hospital between June & October 2022. Article was published in December 2023, based on this are we to assume that there’s been no change in those women since that time ? Even more problematic is generalising entirety of somali women based on such a study. Do those women even actually believe that they’re suffering from SD ?

At the end of the day these indexes were developed in a society where sexuality is championed without restrictions, as such their norms & values of what they deem as proper sexual ethics will be governing the standards determining both sexual function & dysfunction


Link:

https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-023-02830-1

Why are you claiming that only a "tiny percentage of men" are polygamous in Somalia?

Are you Somali??

Of course broke polygamy contributes to poverty and dysfunction. Why even bother to dispute this?

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Walaal I agree with you, aniga ninkaan miskiinka un baa difaacayay since he has a strong work ethic.

I was actually kinda pissed with ninka qaba my aunt who married his third wife when he couldn't sustain his first wife(my aunt) and his second wife.

But I still stand on saying you ain't gotta be wealthy, just be financially independent.

Of course he has to work, he did this to himself.
I find it hilarious when men want to be applauded for doing things they are supposed to do. How else will 19 people + him, eat, if he doesn't have 2 jobs.

Children deserve more than the bare minimum. They deserve the best, and they deserve parents that recognise that.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

It is even more insidious when you consider the fact that schools and healthcare are not free!!
So if he had 2 jobs, 1 wife, 5 kids, he would still struggle!

If Somalia had a government, these families would rely on welfare payments and struggle to get scholarships. Tell us, those of you who praise struggle marriages, are children not worth being disciplined and financially responsible for?

All of the men who applaud this, would be very angry if this was their brother and if they were on the hook for his 16 kids, should he fall sick or die. Would you marry his 3 wives and take on this burden? Don't pretend.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Beyond disgusting to promote this only rich men are able to have this many kids, and wives what he is doing is being a pimp and a child abuser because I know his kids are probably starving

I saw these broke polygamous families with my own eyes back home. The children look miserable, unkempt and the wives look depressed. Meanwhile the man has shiny skin, looks well-fed and of course, he gets supplemented by his wealthier friends. They are not ashamed of themselves at all. Weey isla fiicanyihiin waliba, for being 'laandheer'.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

Why are you claiming that only a "tiny percentage of men" are polygamous in Somalia?

Are you Somali??

Of course broke polygamy contributes to poverty and dysfunction. Why even bother to dispute this?

Hada waxaad shaki galisay soomaalinimadayda ? Maxaa ku kalifaya shakiga caynkas hada aan ku weydiyo ?

Yes those men who you deem to be poor that marry more than 1 wife are a minority when compared to the majority of somali men who are monogamous.

Furthermore there’s a huge difference between claiming some polygamous relationships can contribute to poverty and claiming that somalia is poor as a result of some polygamous relationships. No matter what broke polygamous men don’t make somalia a poor country. There’s no causal relationship between two, so stop blaming these men for dalkeena’s poverty status.

If anything the type of qabylaad that you espouse here in ss does indeed lead to poverty, destruction & demise of our land.


Most importantly you don’t get to determine whether they’re poor or wealthy enough to able to engage in marriage. They live a completely different life than you, sidas darteed stop dictating how other people should live their lives. So what if they aren’t wealthy enough according to your liking it’s their life not yours

This is nothing but some fake outrage that you & others display when talking about societal issues had you really cared about women & dalkeena or even your own tol you would’ve done something about it. If they were important you would’ve at least sacrificed either your wealth or time in helping them

Those poor men that you constantly disparage , insult etc are at least doing something you’re not and that is they’re taking care of a poor woman according to their means even though they might not eat 3 times day, illiterate etc. That’s more than you’ll ever do even though you consider yourself to be rich & above such men.

Who knows you might learn a thing or two instead of condemning them

 

[awsaleban667]

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Increasing the numbers of Somali race will always be praise worthy

 

[attash]

Of course he has to work, he did this to himself.
I find it hilarious when men want to be applauded for doing things they are supposed to do. How else will 19 people + him, eat, if he doesn't have 2 jobs.

Children deserve more than the bare minimum. They deserve the best, and they deserve parents that recognise that.

Mothers are supposed to stay up all night to care for their infants and breastfeed them, and we still applaud them for it. Imagine how cruel it would be if I looked at a mother who did this and said "she doesn't deserve to be applauded, this is what she's supposed to do. She did this to herself by having children"???

This man works himself to the bone day and night for his family, of course we will praise him. You people in this thread are blaming him for Somalia's disfunction, but in fact if every man in Somalia had his work ethic, Somalia would be very far ahead.

 

[awsaleban667]

Threads like this are why I have zero hope for Somalia, can you imagine coming from a culture where behavior like this is okay?

Good, I love it when people like you excommunicate yourselves for the community no one wanted you in the first place

 

[Angelina]

Bisiinka the level of aflagaado & venom people have for the guy waa cajiib!!!

It even went beyond that, now dalkeena is poor & backward because a very tiny percentage of men decided to marry more than one woman . So qabylaad, corruption lack of adherence to diinta etc. all of these have nothing to do with why dalkeena is as it is maanta ???



In that study, the overall difference between monogamous & polygamous women when it relates to “sexual dysfunction” was just 13.9%. “SD” was prevalent in both groups: 55.9% for monogamous vs 69.8% for polygamous women

.


Now what’s even interesting is when you take a look at the actual breakdown of the scores. The differences are very negligible

View attachment 319116

Another point of note from purely a statistical analysis is that there’s more women suffering from “SD” in monogamous marriages as opposed to polygamous ones. So if we extrapolate this to somalia as a whole, then things get worse simply because monogamous women with “SD” will far surpass those of polygamous women by a large margin.

Given the above what rationale is there to focus on polygamous women when the difference in “SD” is just a mere 13.9% and also the fact that Polygamous women constitute a minority of women who are diagnosed with the “SD” ?

My final point is related to the index scores used to determine sexual function. I’m very sceptical of a self report index that purports to objectively measure an individual’s sexual function especially one rooted in a foreign cultural background & tradition. In fact the FSFI score was introduced to determine arousal disorders & not other factors of a person’s sexual function.

Like anything related to human beings nothing is static, similarly so is a person’s sexual function. Just because a person has issues today doesn’t entail that they’ll have it tomorrow or that it’s deterministic. Imagine telling a woman she’s suffering from SD based on a survey that she filled whilst she had issues that no longer are a factor in her current life.

Take for instance the study, it was conducted on women who came to the hospital between June & October 2022. Article was published in December 2023, based on this are we to assume that there’s been no change in those women since that time ? Even more problematic is generalising entirety of somali women based on such a study. Do those women even actually believe that they’re suffering from SD ?

At the end of the day these indexes were developed in a society where sexuality is championed without restrictions, as such their norms & values of what they deem as proper sexual ethics will be governing the standards determining both sexual function & dysfunction


Link:

https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-023-02830-1

Does the article only focus on SD? Or also other aspects of marriage? SD is only one part of marriage and why are you only focusing on that?

 

[Angelina]

Hada waxaad shaki galisay soomaalinimadayda ? Maxaa ku kalifaya shakiga caynkas hada aan ku weydiyo ?

Yes those men who you deem to be poor that marry more than 1 wife are a minority when compared to the majority of somali men who are monogamous.

Furthermore there’s a huge difference between claiming some polygamous relationships can contribute to poverty and claiming that somalia is poor as a result of some polygamous relationships. No matter what broke polygamous men don’t make somalia a poor country. There’s no causal relationship between two, so stop blaming these men for dalkeena’s poverty status.

If anything the type of qabylaad that you espouse here in ss does indeed lead to poverty, destruction & demise of our land.


Most importantly you don’t get to determine whether they’re poor or wealthy enough to able to engage in marriage. They live a completely different life than you, sidas darteed stop dictating how other people should live their lives. So what if they aren’t wealthy enough according to your liking it’s their life not yours

This is nothing but some fake outrage that you & others display when talking about societal issues had you really cared about women & dalkeena or even your own tol you would’ve done something about it. If they were important you would’ve at least sacrificed either your wealth or time in helping them

Those poor men that you constantly disparage , insult etc are at least doing something you’re not and that is they’re taking care of a poor woman according to their means even though they might not eat 3 times day, illiterate etc. That’s more than you’ll ever do even though you consider yourself to be rich & above such men.

Who knows you might learn a thing or two instead of condemning them

I doubt anyone believes Somalia is poor due to polygamy. I’m sure people here are saying poor men marrying again is contributing to even more poverty for women and children and that’s been recorded in many SSA countries. You find this phenomenon in many madow countries Somalia included, since polygamous unions amongst Arabs and Asians is lower than Africans, especially amongst the lower/working classes.

 

[Angelina]

Mothers are supposed to stay up all night to care for their infants and breastfeed them, and we still applaud them for it. Imagine how cruel it would be if I looked at a mother who did this and said "she doesn't deserve to be applauded, this is what she's supposed to do. She did this to herself by having children"???

This man works himself to the bone day and night for his family, of course we will praise him. You people in this thread are blaming him for Somalia's disfunction, but in fact if every man in Somalia had his work ethic, Somalia would be very far ahead.

Let’s be real, in any other society a man that is a taxi driver (low income job) that has to toil and day and night (because of how low the wages are) wouldn’t marry again, since looking after their first family would be a priority due to lack of funds to go around. He has to work day and night not just because of the many kids, because money simply isn’t enough for a field like that.

I don’t know the actual circumstances of that Dugsi Macaalin so we need to tread carefully and Ramadan is around the corner, so purely from a general perspective, comparing a mother waking up a few nights for a the first few months of baby weaning and a working class man who has to work day and night due to his poor circumstances is a ridiculous comparison. Also, a woman having more kids isn’t the same as a man going out of this way to marry more women and then having more kids with others.

 

[attash]

Let’s be real, in any other society a man that is a taxi driver (low income job) that has to toil and day and night (because of how low the wages are) wouldn’t marry again, since looking after their first family would be a priority due to lack of funds to go around. He has to work day and night not just because of the many kids, because money simply isn’t enough for a field like that.

I don’t know the actual circumstances of that Dugsi Macaalin so we need to tread carefully and Ramadan is around the corner, so purely from a general perspective, comparing a mother waking up a few nights for a the first few months of baby weaning and a working class man who has to work day and night due to his poor circumstances is a ridiculous comparison. Also, a woman having more kids isn’t the same as a man going out of this way to marry more women and then having more kids with others.

My point is that it is really unfair to say that he doesn't deserve praise for the hard work he does for his children.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

My point is that it is really unfair to say that he doesn't deserve praise for the hard work he does for his children.

If he was raising 16 orphans, sure. But he brought 16 kids into abject poverty which is why he must have 2 jobs.

 

[Yaraye]

I doubt anyone believes Somalia is poor due to polygamy. I’m sure people here are saying poor men marrying again is contributing to even more poverty for women and children and that’s been recorded in many SSA countries. You find this phenomenon in many madow countries Somalia included, since polygamous unions amongst Arabs and Asians is lower than Africans, especially amongst the lower/working classes.

The biggest reason why I find that this behavior is only among madow/african men (including somali) is because these societies don't shame men for not providing or don't shame them hard enough. Men outside of these communities are stigmatized for things like this.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Mothers are supposed to stay up all night to care for their infants and breastfeed them, and we still applaud them for it. Imagine how cruel it would be if I looked at a mother who did this and said "she doesn't deserve to be applauded, this is what she's supposed to do. She did this to herself by having children"???

This man works himself to the bone day and night for his family, of course we will praise him. You people in this thread are blaming him for Somalia's disfunction, but in fact if every man in Somalia had his work ethic, Somalia would be very far ahead.

Why did Allah say that heaven is beneath the mother's feet? How can you compare a mother to a polygamous man?

 

[Yaraye]

My point is that it is really unfair to say that he doesn't deserve praise for the hard work he does for his children.

He sired these children, that is to be expected of him. Why should we praise him for the bare minimum?

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

The biggest reason why I find that this behavior is only among madow/african men (including somali) is because these societies don't shame men for not providing or don't shame them hard enough. Men outside of these communities are stigmatized for things like this.

They encourage this behaviour and the only gender that takes issue with our response, is the same gender that suffers most from having a polygamous father who is not wealthy.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

He sired these children, that is to be expected of him. Why should we praise him for the bare minimum?

I am glad to see men in this thread that take issue with the ghetto polygamy mentality. I hope they end up outnumbering the others.

 

[Yaraye]

I am glad to see men in this thread that take issue with the ghetto polygamy mentality. I hope they end up outnumbering the others.

Some see the error. I'm afraid it is the majority who don't, based on the things I read on this thread.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Hada waxaad shaki galisay soomaalinimadayda ? Maxaa ku kalifaya shakiga caynkas hada aan ku weydiyo ?

Yes those men who you deem to be poor that marry more than 1 wife are a minority when compared to the majority of somali men who are monogamous.

Furthermore there’s a huge difference between claiming some polygamous relationships can contribute to poverty and claiming that somalia is poor as a result of some polygamous relationships. No matter what broke polygamous men don’t make somalia a poor country. There’s no causal relationship between two, so stop blaming these men for dalkeena’s poverty status.

If anything the type of qabylaad that you espouse here in ss does indeed lead to poverty, destruction & demise of our land.


Most importantly you don’t get to determine whether they’re poor or wealthy enough to able to engage in marriage. They live a completely different life than you, sidas darteed stop dictating how other people should live their lives. So what if they aren’t wealthy enough according to your liking it’s their life not yours

This is nothing but some fake outrage that you & others display when talking about societal issues had you really cared about women & dalkeena or even your own tol you would’ve done something about it. If they were important you would’ve at least sacrificed either your wealth or time in helping them

Those poor men that you constantly disparage , insult etc are at least doing something you’re not and that is they’re taking care of a poor woman according to their means even though they might not eat 3 times day, illiterate etc. That’s more than you’ll ever do even though you consider yourself to be rich & above such men.

Who knows you might learn a thing or two instead of condemning them

You don't know me or what I do with my time. And the very fact that you act like these are rare cases is enough for me to disregard everything else you say. The truth is not within you or even next door to you.