Is it wrong I want my husband to find a second spouse so I don’t have to birth more children and we aren’t always together

QueenofKings

Kick in the door wavin the .44
If your man can afford 3 more wives ManshaAllah, maybe he can direct some of that money towards, employing a carer and childminder for just 1 day a week. Take that 1 day as self care.

How many kids do you have now? Maybe explain to him if he wants more kids you can’t be out here working 6 days a week. It’s not sustainable or fair. You either raise a family or work. He can’t ask you to do both.
 
If your man can afford 3 more wives ManshaAllah, maybe he can direct some of that money towards, employing a carer and childminder for just 1 day a week. Take that 1 day as self care.

How many kids do you have now? Maybe explain to him if he wants more kids you can’t be out here working 6 days a week. It’s not sustainable or fair. You either raise a family or work. He can’t ask you to do both.

Alhamdulilah we have 3 and inshallah if allahs wills will have more in the future but he is from back home so he has told me multiple times he would like as many as allah swt will give him but because I have had 3 c sections already it isn’t advised to do anymore
 

vanilla

i think with my heart
nothing wrong with wanting someone to share the wifely duties with you..... I would also prefer to be in polygamous marriage in the future because I enjoy spending time with me. It is time to take care of myself,.. both physically and mentally... in this day and age, theres huge expectations on us and i think is just nice to have that time to be free and just be..... maybe ask a family member to speak on your behalf?
 

QueenofKings

Kick in the door wavin the .44
nothing wrong with wanting someone to share the wifely duties with you..... I would also prefer to be in polygamous marriage in the future because I enjoy spending time with me. It is time to take care of myself,.. both physically and mentally... in this day and age, theres huge expectations on us and i think is just nice to have that time to be free and just be..... maybe ask a family member to speak on your behalf?

How will a second wife help you have more time for yourself?
 

QueenofKings

Kick in the door wavin the .44
Alhamdulilah we have 3 and inshallah if allahs wills will have more in the future but he is from back home so he has told me multiple times he would like as many as allah swt will give him but because I have had 3 c sections already it isn’t advised to do anymore

I see, about the money ... why can’t he pay for a child care/carer for 1 day a week, he has the money after all.
 
I can see why you would want to do that. I dont like being a possessive lover myself however more children and another woman can complicate your life as well as your childrens life. If you can handle what comes with it then I would say go ahead with it.beat of luck to you.
 
Yep 8 years

Damn you tired of him in just 8 years? Lol joking, wallahi I think it’s great. You have a lot of iman mashAllah because most people are too selfish to care about their spouse’s needs or wants. It takes a mature and smart kinda person to realize what they can and cannot do and to come up with a solution. Also don’t listen to this naysayers, Allah allowed men to marry four if he can afford it but make sure you get to know the woman or maybe you can arrange someone you know because you want someone with iman and not a evil greedy one. Good luck, iA it will work out and be patient.
 

QueenofKings

Kick in the door wavin the .44
she can always say--- to her husband


Honey ---this weekend i need to be by myself. Go to @Hodan from HR am not feelin` it :)

But the time demanding things are kids and chores - not husbands. Him marrying another woman doesn’t cut down on the chores or chid responsibilities. It might make it worse because now you don’t have your partner available to help as often. What’s really been achieved here?

Also time spent with husbands should he enjoyable... what’s happening in these relationships where the husband is a burden that needs to be of loaded to another woman.
:cosbyhmm:
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
But the time demanding things are kids and chores - not husbands. Him marrying another woman doesn’t cut down on the chores or chid responsibilities. It might make it worse because now you don’t have your partner available to help as often. What’s really been achieved here?

Also time spent with husbands should he enjoyable... what’s happening in these relationships where the husband is a burden that needs to be of loaded to another woman.
:cosbyhmm:


u live in feminist Disney land huuno
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
You call it Disney I call it everyday life...

:mjpls:


Let me know when u climb down from
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1609176020523.png
 
If you feel burned out how will more time away for your husband help ? Polygamous marriages rarely work in the long run and the first wife always bears the brunt. Try other alternatives first and do couples counselling and therapy before you make any final decisions.
 
I get where your coming from and it’s not harsh it’s just the truth but the thing is I also care for his parents and my mother who is disabled. So it’s not just children that are a big responsibility for me. I also work 6 days a week at our family business. It feels wrong for me to deny him more children as he is more than financially able to care for even hypothetically 3 more wives.
if his financially stable than why don’t you not work and use the time u were suppose to be at work for urself? Also what do u exactly want to do on your free time? do u just wanna watch netflix and relax or do u wanna play sports? or go out with ur friends?
 

gbrlax3

𝕻𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖎𝖘 𝖆𝖓 𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓.
you should just go trough it inshAllah. just keep on supporting your children and ask your husband if he can help you out?
 
Alhamdulilah we have 3 and inshallah if allahs wills will have more in the future but he is from back home so he has told me multiple times he would like as many as allah swt will give him but because I have had 3 c sections already it isn’t advised to do anymore
If it’s not advisable then your health come first. I’m sure your husband don’t want to risk the health of his kids mother. A second wife add nothing but more headache your situation. It would mean not only less resources, but time he spends with current kids will diminish as he now has to alternate between two households
 

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